sundaeg1rl

shag_carpet_bomb

If this is anything like the last redneck baby shower I attended, that loot was quickly loaded into a waiting pickup to be opened later ("it's good etiquette") while the guests were induced to focus on other things like "What's in your purse?" scavenger hunts and "How well do you know the 18-year-old mother-to-be?" as her dearest friends and family held barely whispered kitchen debates on
a) whose baby is it, really,
b) the heart-tugging story of how the Mama Redneck put her foot down and simply wouldn't allow an abortion, and
c) how long after the birth it would take the child bride to slim down so she could "look real beautiful on her wedding day."

Bonus: There was a brief loud fight between future-mother-in-law and aunt of the pregnant girl (as they blocked my access to the Costco sheetcake) about in whose basement the young couple would actually be residing. Said argument ended with a kind of tear-choked, "I guess we'll just have to wait and see who they choose to live with."

I wish I could say I was making this up. This is a mere glimpse of how I spent last Saturday afternoon. (This was before they brought out the Jell-O shots and the guys came bellowing back from watching the Kentucky Derby on Dwayne's big screen.)

And, yes. I do live in Virginia.

MartyPants

I'm just happy for small miracles with this girl.

Lulamaybelle

MartyPants

"Jamie Lynn opened every gift," says a source, adding that mom Lynne and fiancé Casey Aldridge's mother lent a hand."

Molly, Molly, Molly - you need better fact checking or to clean your monitor, girl.

SugartitsMcFirecrotch

NoWireHangers

dollywould

Hike 'em up, Brit. You don't want Jamie Lynn getting all the attention.

MartyPants

SanFranBetsu

Leviticus_71

It's OK, Brit. When I visit my hick hometown, it's my first stop, too.

dollywould