Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform - Defamer Comments

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

jasonelias — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 19:37:15 PDT

He shouldn't complain, those pants look comfy.

jasonelias

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

beaumontjones — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 22:53:32 PDT

Poor Tom. How's he gonna do his trademark crazy running (see MI3 for a recent, exciting example) in those pants?

beaumontjones

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

NotReadyForPrimeTime — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 08:05:00 PDT

Just looking at the picture makes me sick. Is it too late to bring back Thomas Kretschmann? Please?

NotReadyForPrimeTime

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Seanwiththecrapjob — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 04:22:26 PDT

Valkyrie?
Another Cruise/Wagner production then?

I'll get my coat.
->

Seanwiththecrapjob

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Miss d — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 19:06:32 PDT

Just tint that uniform blue and it is what he wears when he goes to Sea Org...

Miss d

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Scout — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 18:19:11 PDT

He's even a bad actor while standing still and doing nothing. How do you accomplish that?

I'm mystified that anyone on his team thinks this role is a good idea for him.

Scout

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

raincoaster — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 17:00:06 PDT

@Jim Treacher: genuis!

raincoaster

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Miss Anne Thrope — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 15:01:55 PDT

Alles klar, Herr Kommissar?

Miss Anne Thrope

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Sweet Panda Love — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 13:34:58 PDT

Angie did it better, Tom!

[img1.jurko.net]

Sweet Panda Love

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Jim Treacher — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 13:31:17 PDT

The plot might have worked if von Stauffenberg hadn't stopped to lecture Hitler: "You don't know the history of fascism. I do." Then he jumped up and down on the couch until Der Fuhrer shot him. I love a happy ending!

Oh, and the "disparity" might be because he's wearing jodhpurs. And is fat.

Jim Treacher

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

BadUncle — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 12:58:40 PDT

I just want him to assault my Maginot Line with his big, naughty Panzer.

BadUncle

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

undone — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 12:53:28 PDT

The above-the-belt/below-the-belt disparity is sort of...hilarious. And not in the least mitigated by the eye patch and the stern expression.

He's a wee sort of fellow, isn't he?

undone

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Victor Ward — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 12:36:32 PDT

That's a really excellent Angelina Jolie impression.

Victor Ward

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

nonce — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 12:35:28 PDT

I, uh, have a friend in Los Angeles who could recommend a few semi-secretive uniform clubs for gay men if Tommy wants to do some "research."

But that's obviously not Cruise's own uniform because of the creepy skinny face/zaftig body combo. Or maybe the film is a two-fer remake of the abovementioned Hogan's Heroes and Mrs. Doubtfire? Kind of an all-Nazi all-the-time version of The Sound of Music.

Or Salo, maybe. I would pay Theme Park Money to see what Bryan Singer and Cruise would do with Salo. Or the Sound of Music, actually.

nonce

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

mr hotpants — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 12:34:25 PDT

wow...an eye-patch and poofy pants...he's ready for his Days of Our Lives close up.

mr hotpants

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Julio Allison — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 12:24:50 PDT

Yep.

Strip away the earth-rattling Dolby, the sweeping John Williams, the digitally-enhanced explosions, blood-red-timed sunsets and menacing lighting and all you've really got's a gay midget playing dress-up.

Julio Allison

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Barbarella — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 12:13:21 PDT

@MAGNUM: erm, apologies... I suppose I should read before posting.

Barbarella

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Barbarella — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 12:12:11 PDT

That pic looks like a still from "Hogan's Heroes".

Barbarella

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Eac_o_System — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:59:09 PDT

Tom Cruise is ready to assassinate Hitler.

Eac_o_System

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

gonzosmom — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:58:32 PDT

I have a deep suspicion that the uniform and eyepatch are really his. Katie is forced to wear the sartorial splendor that was known as the "Dachau Schmata."

gonzosmom

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

el smrtmnky — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:57:03 PDT

he misunderstood the whole playing a one eyed german with playing WITH one.

el smrtmnky

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

ronbo — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:52:28 PDT

I don't know, I always thought von Stauffenberg was ... taller.

ronbo

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

jupiterspaw — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:47:42 PDT

I'm waiting for Cruise to take "artistic license" on this one and reveal that's Staufferberg's REAL motivation in removing Hitler from power was that Der Fuhrer was unwilling to submit to an "audit," leading Stauffenberg to believe that the Third Reich was in fact a part of a clandestine, intergalatic conspiracy.

jupiterspaw

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

badhatharry — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:43:12 PDT

So what put his eye out? Was it a well-placed shot of lead, or protein?

badhatharry

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

DonPardoCalrissian — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:40:07 PDT

It's all so sad. I'd love to see a big budget movie giving Stauffenberg the respect and fame in the US that he deserves. But I'd also like to see Tom Cruise stuffed in a laundry sack and thrown into the Spree. I feel he would defile more than laud.

DonPardoCalrissian

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Sweet Panda Love — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:37:06 PDT

And people wonder why the gay rumors abound.

Sweet Panda Love

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

Colonel Mustard — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:29:26 PDT

Anything that covers up Tom's Crazy Eyes™ is cool with me.

Colonel Mustard

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

TheLimey — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:09:03 PDT

I see the film has been pirated already. What?

TheLimey

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

scroll_lock — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:08:16 PDT

Given the subject matter, I believe the imbroglio was more "scatalogical in nature".

scroll_lock

Tom Cruise Can Really Fill Out A Uniform

MAGNUM — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:07:41 PDT

I look at this and try to take it seriously-- and then I see the ghosts of Sgt. Schultz and Col. Hogan hovering in the background.

MAGNUM