Defamer: Willie Nelson

Breaking: Willie Nelson's Daughter Safe to Heckle After All

STV — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:50:00 PDT

After the torrent of skepticism that threatened to douse the near-instant mythology of country-fu trailblazer (and bar-brawlin' Daughter of Willie) Paula Nelson, a shocking dispatch from Austin today indeed reveals a true hoax for the ages, one that Ashton Kutcher's "Pop Fiction" posse could only dream of replicating:

Apparently, the drunkard in the clip is Paula's boyfriend Jeff Schwan, the stunt coordinator for Friday Night Lights. Schwan told COED that Paula and him wanted to pull a prank on their friends at the bar, so they set up a quick fracas to startle them. No foul play here.

The kick, that has been promoted as some sort of kick-ass grrl rawk moment, is nothing more than a gag. Well, that's about as grrl rawk as...wait, she really is a black belt? Forget it, she's validated — and she's still Willie's daughter, which gives her eternal badass-ness.

We mostly agree, though we must acknowledge that "eternal badass-ness" doesn't exactly equate to "eternally being asked by drunk assholes to kick them between songs." That's a minor quibble, however, considering how Willie's legacy does confer a certain gravitas to even the most garish of publicity stunts. Still, it's gonna take more than a black belt and a stuntman husband to catch up with Dad's infamous "$16 Million Tax-Evasion Shuffle" that went viral back in 1990. They really don't make 'em like that anymore.

The Truth Behind the Paula Nelson Barfight Video

Poor Drunk Bastard Not Likely to Fuck With Willie Nelson's Little Girl Again

STV — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:04:00 PDT

Having many years ago traded our shitkicking, bar-brawling days for a pastier, stir-crazy life of bloggy servitude, our bittersweet tears of joy welcome this violent throwback to the good times. To wit: Apparently upset with a scene-stealing drunkard crashing her performance at Austin's Saxon Pub, country-fu pioneer (and Willie Nelson offspring) Paula Nelson landed a kick that commenced a fantastic Lone Star ass-whuppin'.

While the coastal aesthete in us is particularly fond of the night-vision effect and slow-motion instant replay, the old-school redneck we've suppressed over the years can relate to Nelson-San's pure, unchecked animus. This would never fly at the Troubador.

Paula Nelson Kicking Ass at the Saxon Pub [YouTube]

Willie Nelson's Concert Rider Calls For Three Hundred Pounds Of Doritos And No Fewer Than Ten Blacklight Posters For His Dressing Room

Mark — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 10:21:10 PDT

Because we realize that you probably need some help coming down from the unparalleled rush resulting from looking at an image of Steve-O's penis finally being put to a biologically sound purpose, we're happy to pass along this photo from the Blooming Ideas blog, depicting the stash that Louisiana cops confiscated from country legend Willie Nelson earlier this week, which included a pound and a half of pot and three ounces of psilocibin mushrooms. Unfortunately, no crack was found at the scene, demonstrating once again that even the most dedicated of famous, recreational drug users have a lot to learn from television showrunners.

EXCLUSIVE PHOTO: Willie Nelson's stash [Blooming Ideas]