The story involving Lohan is hardly new, and appears to be taken directly from last year's suspect News Of The World feature in which one of Lohan's cohorts turned over a tape allegedly showing Lohan snorting lines at Teddy's. The item, accompanied by grainy stills from the tape which have yet to convince us Lindsay's the girl peer pressuring everyone around her into joint key bumps, did provide a classic Lindsay quote: "I'm going to New York tomorrow to fuck Jude Law!" Funny. And sad, because of just how funny that objective would be today. As for the other excerpts, Johnny Depp is the actor who said he'd spent most of his life in a fog, but his comments on cocaine and all the "teeth-grinding" that came with it were made in retrospect during a 2001 interview with The Guardian. The star who relied on the drug socially? Shockingly (!), Elton John. Who provided the book's quote to the LAT back in 1992. And guess what? Robin Williams, believe it or not, was once fond of the same drug! Too bad that news is so old Williams was still using the memory of it to plug movies to People in 1988.

The book's authors also promise revelations from the secretly drug-filled lives of Whitney Houston, Courtney Love, Amy Winehouse, and George Michael. But rather than sit around in heated anticipation of the day you can waste $28.95 on the hardcover, we'll give you the Cliff's Notes:
Whitney Houston: "Crack is whack."
Amy Winehouse: "They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no."
George Michael: "Why can't I set my monkey free?"
Courtney Love: "im sur ei am quite Nuerotic."
[Photo credits: Wireimage]

• DOPE STYLES OF THE BOLD-FACES [NYP]

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• TATUM TO COPS: THANKS! [NY Post]

Could it be that she missed the orgies? When she spoke to Dateline four years ago, she described her junkie lifestyle as "glamorous":

We checked into the Plaza Athenee with Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider...One night we all smoked opium and hash. I sank into bed, dizzy from the drugs. When I raised my head, a very confusing scene was taking place...Melanie [Griffith], Maria...and a hairdresser were tangled up together. As an added sordid touch, one of the women was apparently menstruating — something I was to young to have experienced myself — and there was a lot of blood.

Along with bloody orgies, it seems part of the "glamour" nose candy can add to your life includes vomiting and shrinking down to a toothpick!

When I got a bit chubby, by Hollywood and Farrah [Fawcett]-comparison standards....I learned that cocaine was good for weight loss...between doing coke and throwing up, the pounds started started melting off me effortlessly. I found that coke made me feel so much better.

Yup, after reading a few of these excerpts, we do have some sympathy for O'Neal and her need to return to the late-night bender excursions in the bright light of summer evening. We can only hope for her sake it isn't that time of the month while she's tapping her anxious foot on that jail cell floor — misty, menstrual blood-colored memories may make that itch even worse.

• SOURCES: TATUM O'NEAL BUSTED FOR COKE & CRACK [NY Post]
• A PAPER LIFE [Google Books]
• TATUM O'NEAL SHARES SURVIVAL STORY [MSNBC]

What better way to annul your time spent in rehab than by pulling the old “It was just research!” card? That’s what Eva Mendes is allegedly claiming, pegging her January stay at Le Cirque in Utah to an upcoming role in Queen Of The South where she'll play a female drug lord or, as some have termed the character, “the female Scarface.” At the time, so-called insiders came forward saying Mendes was everything from a “closet drinker” to a prescription drug addict. Though it’s a nice thought that Mendes’ month-long stay alongside real-live drunk Kirsten Dunst was just a hush-hush effort to really feel like a druggie, we took a look at the timeline coupled with Mendes’ past, and find the excuse weak at best:

For one thing, Mendes has already appeared in her fair share of drug movies. There was last year’s We Own The Night, where she played the coke-dabbling girlfriend to Joaquin Phoenix’s drug dealer with a heart of gold. And 2003’s Once Upon A Time In Mexico centered around the Mexican president declaring war on a drug cartel, while that same year she played drug money-lover Denzel Washington’s ex-wife in Out Of Time. As for her potentially career-boosting role in Queen, her casting was announced only two weeks ago. Until her stay in rehab, two other names were still circling around the part: Jennifer Lopez and Penelope Cruz were said to be in consideration for the part as well. We only wish they’d gone with Cruz early on and relieved Mendes of the need to method act her way all the way to Le Cirque and scandal; Cruz already nailed the powdered-up girlfriend in Blow so convincingly that we still can’t help looking at her without getting the sense that she’s just itching to snort the dandruff off of whatever guy has currently enlisted her as their Beard.

• EVA MENDES RESEARCHING ROLE IN REHAB? [Starpulse]

Sarandon admits she took plenty of drugs during her time in 1970s Hollywood, and isn't afraid to share her experiences with the teenagers. "When they were pretty young, Miles said, 'Did you do crack?' and I had to explain, 'No, they didn't have crack in those days."

So "what type of girl" was the bright-eyed new It Girl back in the day? Unsurprisingly, just the type of girl most 70s actresses should have been: a reefer-loving hippie chick, or as Susan puts it herself, "a hallucinogenics and weed type of girl." And really, this news just warms our heart and erases any fear we may have of aging whatsoever. Knowing that one of our idols spent years hallucinating and stoned managed to look as fine as she does now, thirty years later? The next time (you know, in our dreams) we find ourselves sitting around a bong with Judd Apatow and his trendy stoner crew, ideally next to Paul Rudd, pass that joint our way, boys.

• SUSAN SARANDON TALKS DRUGS TO HER KIDS [Hollywood.tv]

From a nutrition expert at Berkeley quoted in ABC's piece: "I watched Atonement last night and thought that Keira Knightley looked like she was a refugee from a concentration camp." Um, zing? While the nutrition expert's assertion is far from scientific, and while we concur that anything the members of the Bimbo Summit do is officially trashy, we must admit we're not sure what to make of the news that a British blueblood lass like Keira has (allegedly) joined Gen Rx. Just watch, next thing we know she'll be swinging from the chandeliers at the Chateau Marmont while a giddy Pete Doherty looks on. Say it ain't so, Keira!

• HOLLYWOOD'S DIRTY DIET SECRETS [NYDN]
• ADDERALL: WEIGHT LOSS FIX OF THE STARS? [go.abc.com]

Pete likes a touch of everything, but he looks most glamorous after being punched in the eye, drenched in sweat, and about to fatally fall to the stage in a fit of speedball-influenced seizures, or even more glamorous, share his crack with kitties:

Amy Winehouse's teeth really inspire us to start smoking the hard stuff, and that look of happiness on her face after visibly stuffing white dust up her right nostril is enough to make us move to Colombia and call it a life:

And finally, our favorite former drunk and all-around narcotics nutbag of love, Lindsay Lohan, whose gorgeous mug utterly emulates glamour in all possible ways:

[Photo Credits: Pacific Coast News, Splash News, mikepaulblog.com, celebrity-gossip-net, The Sun, lycos.co.uk]

• UNITED NATIONS COMMITTEE TAKES ON CELEBRITY DRUG USE [NYDN]