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behind the lip-synced music
The Britney Spears VMA Trainwreck Explained
Hoping to solve the mystery of how Britney Spears, a seasoned performer with many memorable faux-lesbian and python-related VMAs performances to her credit, came to prance across that Las Vegas stage as listlessly a past-her-prime, breakfast-shift stripper who'd just been shot in a fishnetted haunch with an elephant-grade tranquilizer dart, Page Six today consults a spy who claims to have the behind-the-scenes information about the much-discussed debacle. Spears' rehearsal session, it seems, was hampered by lateness, the tragic overriding of a wardrobe professional's costume choice, and, unsurprisingly, the refusal to perform any choreography that might result in the spillage of her precious pre-show cocktail:
To make matters worse, when she arrived in Vegas, Spears didn't go straight to rehearsals.More »"She went to her hotel room and ordered a bunch of food and some frozen margaritas," the spy said. "She came down, like, an hour later with a frozen margarita in her hand." [...]
Hollywood Blvd. Reacts To Britney's Bad Night
Sensing that Hollywood Blvd.'s legendary pop-culture-dissecting minds might have something to say about Britney Spears' disastrous VMA performance, Defamer videographer Molly McAleer grabbed her trusty camcorder and headed for the talking-head paradise that is the sidewalk outside of the Kodak Theatre, where a talkative cross-section of fans from around the world were more than happy to offer their reviews. For those who find the assessments of the Walk of Fame opinion-havers unfairly negative, we direct you to ABCNews.com's penetrating piece analyzing What Went Wrong, which found at least one anonymous truth-teller willing to defy the anti-Britney thought police:
Britney Spears Gives The People What They Want: A Nationally Televised VMA Trainwreck
In the end, there would be no baby dolls dropping from the rafters, giant Jacuzzis filled with writhing background dancers servicing a fading pop star's exhibitionistic sexual needs, or even a female albino python with which Britney Spears might share a same-sex, cross-species kiss to open last night's VMAs.
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Even God Couldn't Stop The VMAs
You've got to admire MTV's resiliency. It takes guts to shrug off God's warning shots, a life-taking, Biblical hurricane (it seems He's far more angry with the New Hollywood and hates runaway production as much as the Governator) and a bullet to Suge Knight's leg, and defiantly continue the proud traditions of celebrating music videos that no longer play on their channel and giving away scads of free shit to rich people. If only Jessica Simpson's assistant had fallen down and turned an ankle while fumbling with an armload of goodie bags, they might've endured enough hardship to merit a very special movie of the week on VH1. They'll probably just have to settle for a True Hollywood Story. More »








