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transformers 2
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hot chicks no longer with douchebags
In Honor of The 4th of July, Megan Fox Wins Her Independence From Brian Austin Green
I remember the first time I heard about Megan Fox. "Man, this chick has it all," I thought to myself. She's hot, not a terrible actress, uh... did I mention hot? In fact there was only one problem with her. Her fiancé was a douchebag. And not just any douchebag, but Brian Austin Green! The whole B.A.G. affair was such an affront to my sensibilities that it tainted Megan Fox as a whole. She couldn't be that great if she was into a dude who not only devirginized Donna on 90210 but also released a terrible rap album entitled One Stop Carnival. But now that's all changed, thanks to this little tidbit of information: Megan Fox has called off her engagement to Brian Austin Green! [cue Handel's Messiah, ring church bells, light fireworks] More »
giving back
Meet Nate, Here To Service All Your 'Transformers 2' Background Player Needs
THR readers today likely took notice of a full-page, back cover ad trumpeting a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to possibly maybe rub shoulders with Hollywood's foremost detonative dreamweaver, Michael Bay—plus the entire cast and crew of Transformers 2!—at The Happy Ending Bar and Restaurant in Hollywood. As if that wasn't reason enough to swing by, the entire event is a fundraiser benefiting the Spondylitis Association of America. It all comes to you courtesy of the Bay-loving folks at TransformNate.com. Who are they? What's Spondylitis? Aren't happy endings for Thai massage parlors? All good questions. Let's start with the first: TransformNate.com is...well, let's Nate explain! More »
tempest in a teacup
Disgraced 'Transformers 2' Extra Will Stop at Nothing For 15 Minutes of Justice
We should have known the epic fanboy disgrace following Transformers 2 HamburgerGate couldn't possibly end well for anyone — not deposed extra Reginald "Hedgehog" Brown, not robot-illiterate mega-director Michael Bay, and certainly not producer Don Murphy, on whose message board Brown's tragic tale of exile first found an outlet. Naturally more than just feelings were hurt in the end, and if you had "Wednesday, 2:18 a.m." — when Murphy published a few of Brown's angry e-mails "so that we can all figure out what he is trying to say" — as the official start time on your Litigation Pissing Match scorecard, then you win a prize:I'm contacting my lawyer because I can't believe that you got to this lower level dude...I really can't. I wasn't even in PHILLY or PA today and you type all this stuff? Like WTF? Are you the one acting crazy because I have too much proof to show how wrong you and the haters are.More »
location drama
Extra Thrown Off 'Transformers 2' Set 'Never Liked Michael Bay's Dumbass Shit Anyway'
A tipster sends word today of trouble having befallen the Philadelphia set of Transformers 2, where an extra was reportedly thrown off the shoot for conduct detrimental to the blockbuster. To wit: Reginald Brown, a regular contributor to Transformers producer Don Murphy's dysfunctional message boards, had nabbed the plum role of "Man Eating Hamburger" in one of the film's action sequences. Then, under his nom de fanboy Hedgehog, Brown filed a dispatch from wardrobe:
I took a glance at the clothing racks for SHIA and MEGAN too. I think I saw some really cool clothes for some character, then I saw MILITARY UNIFORMS then other clothing that the main characters were wearing. I like the jacket that SHIA is going to wear, it looks like something I would buy.
Whatever, right? Even Murphy himself shrugged: "Reg didn't sign [a non-disclosure agreement] to be on here ... If you think Reg is gonna have access to anything meaningful except a PB&J sandwich you're as confused as he seems to be." But then Brown tried to corner Michael Bay.
More »
trade roundup
Month Of May Latest Victim In 'Caspian' Finger-Pointing Volley
· Excuse-making for the lackluster Prince Caspian rides all the way up the corporate flagpole, with Disney president Bob Iger blaming the month of May. Sure, Bob—blame lunar cycles! Those made your movie suck. [THR]
· Live Nation has signed a deal with Facebook that will allow users to purchase concert tickets directly through their social networking site, with bonus features that allow you to status update ("...is loving the Stones despite Keith's left arm just falling off,") right from the event. [Variety]
· The search for America's Next Street-Smart Business Mogul is on, and 50 Cent will be your Tyra. Ooh, look everyone! Fitty Mail! [Variety]
short ends
· Is "closet chef" Jake Gyllenhaal planning on opening his own restaurant before he turns 30? Sign us up for one Dreamy-Eyed Tasting Menu with Naggy Girlfriend Wine Flight! [Big Hospitality]
· Good news: Roger Waters's pig has been found! Bad news: In pieces. Good news: Bacon for everyone! Bad news: It tastes like polyurethane. [MyDesert.com]
· Is Transformers 2 about to get a much-needed injection of menstrual-blood humor? One can only hope. [Cinematical]
· Hey—dogs into unicorns! [Archie McPhee]
· Oops...We almost forgot to salute our man Will Leitch over at Deadspin, who on HBO's Costas Now last night withstood a spittle-storm of invective from Buzz Bissinger, author of Friday Night Lights and owner of a rocking set of he-breasts. [Deadspin]
More Trailer Leakage: Indy's Back! (Again.)
· We continue with today's theme of leaked, bootlegged trailers of the summer's most anticipated blockbusters with the new Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, set to premiere before screenings of Iron Man this Friday. Dare we say, it's a vast improvement over the first. Indy's back, everyone! No, seriously. Indy's back—it just gave out on him. Medic! [indianajones.com]· Is "closet chef" Jake Gyllenhaal planning on opening his own restaurant before he turns 30? Sign us up for one Dreamy-Eyed Tasting Menu with Naggy Girlfriend Wine Flight! [Big Hospitality]
· Good news: Roger Waters's pig has been found! Bad news: In pieces. Good news: Bacon for everyone! Bad news: It tastes like polyurethane. [MyDesert.com]
· Is Transformers 2 about to get a much-needed injection of menstrual-blood humor? One can only hope. [Cinematical]
· Hey—dogs into unicorns! [Archie McPhee]
· Oops...We almost forgot to salute our man Will Leitch over at Deadspin, who on HBO's Costas Now last night withstood a spittle-storm of invective from Buzz Bissinger, author of Friday Night Lights and owner of a rocking set of he-breasts. [Deadspin]
animal lovers
Megan Fox's Parrot-Tonguing Exploits Delight Niche Publication
Megan Fox—whose coin-slot-baring performance in Transformers was egregiously overlooked by nearly all the major Hollywood awards (she did take Best Actress at the Golden Spankbaits)—is featured in this month's Paw Print Magazine. It's a publication for those who feel a little fenced-in by the rigid constraints of Dog and Cat Fancy, as demonstrated by the wide array of exotic photoshoot costars on display.
More »
true confessions
At Last, Even Michael Bay Admits Michael Bay Is Full of Shit
Further refining his sophisticated public persona from "egregiously self-aware Hollywood hack" to "egregiously self-aware Hollywood hack with a Web site," Michael Bay teased his regular readers Monday with the suggestion that he's making up Transformers 2 news as he goes along. "Sorry everyone, everything you are reading (other then we are shooting in Philly) is false," he wrote in a message-board forum after an open audition call yielded rampant story and script speculation. "We are going to give so much disinformation on this film to confuse everyone." More »
Kevin O'Connell, the Susan Lucci of the sound-mixing set, is nominated for an Oscar yet again, this time for his work on Transformers. That makes 20 nominations, 0 wins. (7 more and Katherine Heigl plays him in the movie of his life! Rimshot.) Little Gold Men caught up with O'Connell, but judiciously failed to bring up the infamous Sound Mixer Smackdown from last year's Oscars, when his nemesis Michael Minkler, who shared the statue for his work on Dreamgirls, callously observed, "I think Kevin should go away with 19 nominations ... I have to wonder ... Kevin is an OK mixer, but he should take up another line of work." [VF Daily]
trade roundup
Little Richard, Tina Turner Fail To Save Grammys From Nielsen Disappointment
· Network executives are trying to make sense of the brave, new, post-strike world they suddenly find themselves in, either taking this unprecedented opportunity to blow up their development system, or shrugging it off as a "blip" and going back to the old, comfortable ways of doing business (i.e., throwing a bunch of money at talent and pilots). Also, tough decisions need to be made about which series should be rushed back into production to finish up this abbreviated season, which should be put off until the fall, and which should be put out of their misery after losing their momentum. [Variety]
· Unsurprisingly, utterly fearless NBC perfect storm Ben Silverman (motto: "Let's do stuff!") is seizing the chance to shake things up inside the Peacock Family by shuffling around some executives and eliminating its largely vestigial current series department. [THR]
It seems the towering structure at Sunset and Vine, an accursed building that's fallen victim to fires and a tragic Transformers mega-billboard mishap last April, is finally getting some windows—but according to a Defamer operative, its biggest disaster is yet to come, and happening slowly before our eyes: "Having taken it down to the structural steel, they've started to put glass on it. There's just one problem: it's LEANING. Go check it out - very noticeable." Before any frantic Chicken Littles run into Amoeba Records to pronounce the sky is falling, we'd first like to throw it open to Defamer readers in the area to send us photographic evidence. And no Photoshop shenanigans—Giant Fucking Buildings Are Falling!
This completely escaped our notice, as every time Shia LaBeouf appears onscreen we're so mesmerized by his star power that we're rendered completely unaware of the words coming out of his mouth, but our friends at Goldenfiddle have reduced the most powerful moments of his Transformers performance to a single, masterfully intoned syllable. [goldenfiddle]
trade roundup
In Denial About The Coming Labor Apocalypse, Hollywood Keeps Announcing New Projects Like Nothing's Wrong
· In a badly timed announcement of blockbuster-derived profits, Viacom crows about the "phenomenal success" of "new global brand Transformers" that helped lift their net income by 80 percent, forgetting to transfer the revenues to a balance-sheet loss column and publicly lament that "there's no money to be made in this dying business of ours." [Variety]
· Knowing that TV is, like film, a financial dead end (see bullet point above), Oprah is launching her own channel on the YouTubes. If that venture proves as successful as the media mogul hopes, the purchase of the entire internet could quickly follow. [THR]
box office
'Transformers' Well On Its Way To Cracking The Elusive 13-Figure Mark
It's not for nothing that Transformers should boast grosses on the high-end of 12-figures, as trumpeted by a seemingly endless succession of brushed-titanium zeroes on the pages of today's Variety: The studio has master blowingshitupologist's Michael Bay's passion and perfectionism to thank for that.
Even though the just-released Transformers DVD has broken this year's first-week sales record, director Michael Bay, ever the blowing-shit-up perfectionist, isn't completely satisfied with the product: "I was traveling promoting (Transformers) while they were doing the DVD. You try to guide people as to what to do (in making it), but ultimately if you rush your date, you are not going to get the DVD as good as it could be. ... Studios want to pump this stuff out, and my job is to care about it and try to put the right people on it. They just see it as a show they are selling, and I see it as a movie." Included in the features that will have to wait for the Transformers: Special Fauxteur's Cut DVD: a behind-the-scenes clip in which an uncompromising Bay reduces star Shia LaBeouf to a weeping mess by repeatedly screaming a suggested line-reading through a megaphone, footage in which the phrase "you talentless little baby" figures prominently. [USA Today]
Perhaps the worst letdown we experienced today was finally figuring out that Optimus Prime was not, in fact, recruiting us to fight the Decepticons, and was only interested in using us as his dirty, DVD-buying whore. We promised that we'd never let ourselves get manipulated like that again after Samuel L. Jackon and Alec Baldwin had their ways with us, but we are so very, very weak in the face of precorded, lightly personalized messges delivered by authoritative male voices. [Transformersmovie.com]