Defamer: Trade Round-up

Jake Gyllenhaal To Dangle Fishing Rod Off DreamWorks Moon

Seth — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 12:25:00 PDT

· Hot-new-screenwriting-thing Dan Mazeau has been hired by DreamWorks to whip the script for Untitled Doug Liman Moon-Colonizing Project Starring Impossibly Swoony-Eyed Lunar-Settling Dreamboat Jake Gyllenhaal into shape. [THR]
· Top-rated GSN poker shows High Stakes Poker and World Poker Tour have yet to be renewed, and many fans are concerned that the new network president David Goldhill might cancel them. Asked to comment, Goldhill played things close the vest, peering out from beneath the rim of his lucky Harrah's sun visor in a pair of wraparound Blublockers as he gnawed silently on a complimentary chicken wing. [THR]
· VH1 orders Scream Queens, a reality show that attempts to find America's Next Top Co-Ed Who Insists on Wandering into the Laundry Room Alone Knowing A Killer Is Loose on Campus. [THR]
· Amber Tamblyn will star in ABC's The Unusuals, playing "Detective Casey Shraeger, a smart cop who also is the black sheep of her wealthy family." [THR]
· Harrison Ford's next role will be playing the real-world dad who stopped at nothing to find a cure for his son's rare condition. Just to clarify, this character is not Indiana Jones, and his son's condition is not Ow LaBeouf's Balls. [Variety]

Dennis Hopper Isn't a Racist, But He'll Play One on TV

STV — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 13:20:00 PDT

· Dennis Hopper will inherit the Terrence Howard role in Starz's small-screen adaptation of the Oscar-winner Crash. Kidding! Or only half-kidding, sadly: Hopper is indeed attached to star in this shitshow-to-be. [Variety]
· Despite the ad apocalypse foreseen prior to this year's upfronts, revenues appear to have surpassed even the rosiest optimists' predictions. [Variety
· Watching the Lakers lose an NBA Finals game is more popular than it's been in years! [Variety]
· After underachieving with a mere 15 films per year, Samuel L. Jackson is set to proliferate on TV after inking a first-look production deal with CBS Paramount. [THR]
· Keira Knightley, My Fair Lady updating, just try not to think about it. [Variety]

What If They Threw An Oscars, And Nobody Showed?

Seth — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 12:19:00 PST

· In case you missed it—and apparently many, many of you did—it was the Oscars last night. "The Awards averaged a 21.9 rating/33 share. That's down a sharp 21% from last year and the lowest on record in at least 20 years." [THR]
· Martin Scorsese and his widow-peaked muse Leonardo DiCaprio have pre-sold their latest collaboration, an adaptation of Dennis Lehane novel Shutter, to foreign markets for record-breaking amounts. Explained one Italian distribution rep, "That Leo. He, how do you say, nails hot models? And we love the little eyebrows-one, and his little movies. Very good!" [THR]

· Great news for all those out-of-work actor friends you've been slightly concerned about since they duct-taped themselves inside their homes to explore the medium of peanut-butter-and-Cap'n Crunch sculpture: TV's hiring again, in a pilot casting frenzy. [THR. THR]
· Phil Collins's 18-year-old daughter Lily Collins has been hired by Nickelodeon to "appear in interstitial programming spots airing throughout the day and night." Or, as her father might put it, "I can see Lil' Collins with Squarepants tonight...Oh lord..." (Wow. That was pretty bad.) [THR]
· SNL's return after a three-month strike hiatus brings that show its highest ratings in two years, with their impressions of presidential hopefuls ranging from bang-on (Mike Huckabee as Mike Huckabee) to the desperately in need of fine-tuning (Fred Armisen's Obama). [THR]

Universal/Hasbro Deal Good News For Gritty Atlantic City Drama 'A House On Baltic Ave.'

Seth — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 11:32:03 PST

· Hollywood Out of Ideas: Holy Shit, Now They're Raiding the Game Closet Edition. Universal signs a six-year deal with Hasbro to produce "at least four feature films based on branded properties." Among the classic toys and boardgames in their stable: Monopoly, Candy Land, and Ouija. Bay + Candy Land + Giant Fucking Gumdrops + Marshmellow Explosions = Wicked. [Variety]
· The NBC Universal Super-Exec League of Silver Man, The Zucker, and The Phantom Graboff have connected their powerful Peacock Rings and once again produced the impossible: a 52-week programming schedule. You read that right: 52 weeks. They are truly amazing. [Variety]
· Variety sticks fork in this year's Oscar telecast, declares it done. [Variety]

· More guild award results: The 10th annual Costume Designers Guild Awards gave Blades of Glory (contemporary), Sweeney Todd (period), and The Golden Compass (fantasy) their top honors, with the Platinum Codpiece awarded to Sacha Baron Cohen for excellence in the package-stuffing arts. [THR]
· Monk is back for a seventh season. Yay! Who doesn't love a little more Monk? We're definitely going to get around to watching an episode this go-around. [Variety]

[Photo: Flickr]

Apple/'Idol' Partnership Produces The Prone-To-Breakdowns iPaula

Seth — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 12:51:57 PST

· In an uncomfortable marriage pitting one of the coolest brands on the planet with, um, a lesser-cool brand, Apple has become a signature sponsor of American Idol. What does this mean for you, the Apple/Idol fan? iTunes carries show downloads, the iPod becomes the show's "official digital music player," and the company's next top-secret product launch, the iPaula, will perform all the functions of the iPhone, but with improved wasted and weepy functionality. [Variety]
· Toshiba concedes defeat in the high-def war, giving Blu-ray the official win, and relegating HD-DVD to the obsolete technology junkpile. (Attention unnamed dance-punk bands: Blu-Ray Or HD-DVD is up for grabs!) [Variety]

· Juno is officially the biggest sorta-indie movie success since My Big Fat Greek Wedding, boding not well for CBS's planned sitcom, How I Was Conceived By My Mother, which picks up where the action left off. [Variety]
· Summit Entertainment is pinning its hopes on Twilight, a vampire movie with "strong elements of a high-school romance," (read: One Bat Hill, The O-Positive C, Gossip Ghoul...OK, we'll stop.) [THR]
· Ryan Phillippe falls into Ari Emanuel's firm-yet-tender embrace, and signs with Endeavor, fully sold on their partners' passionate, "Soon they'll be calling her the ex-Mrs. Phillippe!" platform. [THR]

'Doctor Parnassus' Paid Visit By A Six-Eyed Guardian Angel

Seth — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 11:58:17 PST

· Variety floated the days-old AICN rumors about The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus this morning. Namely, they re-report that Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell have all signed on to play the role in which Heath Ledger was originally cast. Reps for Cate Blanchett, meanwhile, have yet to confirm her involvement, but it's widely assumed she'll also throw her interpretation into the ring, and walk away with the picture. [Variety]
· The ACE EDDIE Awards give top editing honors to The Bourne Ultimatum and Sweeney Todd. The best reality show editing went to an episode of Cops (for real!), though the winner's acceptance speech was tragically cut short when he triumphantly waved his Golden Scissors trophy above his head and lost his grip. [Variety]

· Variety identifies the true villain of the writers strike: You! "Internet's supporting role in the strike is another reminder of the way the Web has inadvertently helped pollute society, coarsening the level of discourse and incubating online communities prone to wildly lash out at enemies real and imagined." [Variety]
· In the first major post-strike network purchase, one-hit wonders Max "I'm secretly Karen!" Mutchnick and Dave "My writing partner's secretly Karen!" Kohan have sold a sitcom pilot to ABC. The project, originally set up at CBS, follows "a gay writer and a straight writer, who are best friends, and their hot young assistants." Yes, yes, we know what you're going to say—but you didn't let us finish: The writers are cavemen!
· More below-the-line guild awards: Jess Gonchor took the top prize for a contemporary film for No Country for Old Men at the Art Directors Guild's 12th Annual Awards for Excellence in Production Design, while Jack Fisk took best period art direction for There Will Be Blood. The 44th annual Cinema Audio Society Awards, meanwhile, gave Country top honors. (And deservedly so: Anton Chigurh's footsteps alone deserved special recognition.)

Studio Stocks Stable Despite Strike

Seth — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 11:55:53 PST

· Steve Jobs and Rupert Murdoch emerge from their jacuzzi-bound tete-a-tete with a new deal in place that allows iTunes users to "rent" Fox movies. [Variety]
· The stock prices of major media conglomerates have "barely budged" in the eight weeks since the writers strike started, but investment experts warn that Howie Mandel getting so much as a splinter would result in dramatic fluctuations. [Variety]
· The WGA hired Democratic strategists Bill Carrick and Kam Kuwata. Carrick "oversaw the campaign of former Los Angeles mayor James Hahn against current Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and the gubernatorial campaign of Treasurer Phil Angelides against Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger." Um... [Variety]
· Meanwhile, networks who formerly seemed destined to never get along are mending fences like never before: For the first time in history, NBC and CBS will both be airing the same Patriots season finale game. [THR]
· The Kingdom director Peter Berg is in talks to join Edwin A. Salt, a movie about a CIA officer "fingered as a Russian sleeper spy." Tom Cruise is attached to play the fingered Russian. [THR]

Why Negotiate With Writers When People Are Perfectly Happy Watching Two Hours Of Howie Mandel In A Santa Hat?

Seth — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 11:41:24 PST

Thought Monday's round-up was smothered in weak sauce? Just wait until you see today's!
· Jay-Z is retiring again—from his position as the president of Def Jam records. We totally foresaw this earth-shattering development when he tellingly rapped, "I hydroplane into fame/Come'n down with the Dow Jones/When the clouds come we gone" on "Umbrella." [Variety]
· "Classic" acts dominated 2007's concert business, with half of the top 20 tours having started their careers in the '70s. We set this news to the comforting strains of The Eagles' "Long Road Out Of Eden," evocatively covered in proto-spiritual sand dune imagery and available at a Wal-Mart near you. [Variety]

· Broadway and Hollywood choreographer Michael Kidd dies at age 92. [Variety]
· NBC takes Christmas night with their overstuffed, two-hour Deal or No Deal Christmas special, an evening of contestants screaming at busty elves holding festively decorated briefcases, and a suspiciously OCD Santa who refused to touch any children, regardless of naughty or nice status. [THR]
· Someone named Robert Pattinson has "joined the cast of Twilight, Summit Entertainment's teen-vampire thriller." If you'll now excuse us, we're going to bury our faces in what's left of the figgy pudding. [THR]

The Return Of Late-Night?

Seth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 12:06:48 PST

· They aren't done administering the defibrillator to the dead-eyed corpse of late-night TV just yet: Some are buzzing that "several hosts" plan on returning to the air by January 7, making life a little less egg-pelty for Ellen DeGeneres and Carson Daly. [Variety]
· After next week, however, every scripted TV series shooting in LA will have officially gone dark, explaining the eerie, silent calm throughout the city, and the longer, sadder lines at the Coffee Bean. [Variety]
· A new ceremony from The Academy of TV Arts & Sciences "will highlight and demonstrate the good things that TV does." The first lifetime achievement award goes to Fox Alternative Programming guru Mike Darnell, for his "tireless efforts in furthering the cause of people being hooked up to a lie detector and forced to answer whether or not they are still attracted to their spouse on national TV." [Variety]

· Focus Features is in a great mood, everyone! [THR]
· Always at the cutting edge of internet marketing content, Showtime has set up a hybrid video player/chat room for serial killer drama Dexter, allowing fans to learn cutting-edge knifing techniques visually as they swap mass-murder tips. [THR]

Where In The World Is Hugh Laurie?

Seth — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 13:08:09 PDT

· OMGOMG. The strike's, like, totally going to happen. Did you hear about the chair thing?? [Variety]
· John Travolta returns to the action-movie realm as the lead subway-hijacking baddie in The Taking of Pelham 123, a role director Tony Scott "heavily courted" the actor for, and which he took only on the condition that the character meet his wasp-waisted body-type specifications. [Variety]

· Tongues are wagging over why Hugh Laurie failed to show up to the set of House today, and instead left for England to take care of "family obligations." We'll not further the scurrilous rumormongering here, except to mumble some clichéd aphorism about not shitting where you eat, and moving on. [Variety]
· Congratulations, SAG: You've gotten a star on the Walk of Fame! (The AMPTP's can't even get a fucking chair.) That puts your fame somewhere between Erik Estrada and Ricky Martin's. She bangs! [Variety]
· HBO is developing a movie based on the Dr. Death biography Between the Dying and the Dead: Dr. Jack Kevorkian's Life and the Battle to Legalize Euthanasia. High on their casting wish list is Robin Williams, who'll don an adorable clown nose and ensure his patients giggle their way into the hereafter. [THR]

'Star Trek' Finds Its Sulu And Scotty

Seth — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 11:38:52 PDT

· Yet more stars sign on to JJ Abrams's much-ballyhooed Star Trek: Early 30s project, including Hot Fuzz's Simon Pegg as Scotty, and John "What? He's Korean? Enh, Close Enough" Cho as Sulu. [Variety, THR]
· CBS signed musical-adapting superduo Craig Zadan and Neil Meron to a three movie deal, meaning at long last Jennifer Love Hewitt in Hello, Dolly! is no longer just a pipe dream. [Variety]
· Director Zack Snyder is reteaming with his 300 team for The Last Photograph, about "a photograph that becomes the catalyst for a journey two abs-licious men undertake through war-torn Afghanistan, upon which they meet a really gay bald guy with a jangly nose-ring." We're there! [Variety]
· Will Smith's Overbrook Entertainment is making a "major push" into TV, including Hitch the sitcom, based on the movie of the same name we'd sooner apply a Braun hand-blender to our privates than see. [THR]
· Is Will Ferrell video hub FunnyorDie.com "coasting on the fumes of Landlord?" If so, they may wanna consider giving Pearl a bigger trailer and a piece of the viral backend. [THR]

WGA Fires Warning Shot Above Studios' Heads

Seth — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 11:38:47 PDT

· The WGA, in an aggressive measure meant to show the studios that the protracted ball-tickling session that's defined the negotiations until now must come to an end, has redrafted and broadened their strike rules to now allow for "pug-faced studio types so much as looking at us funny." [Variety]
· Hollywood's dreamy consciences George Clooney and Leonardo DiCaprio may team up for Warner Bros.'s adaptation of Farragut North, a play loosely based on the Howard Dean campaign. (Sorry Jake, torture-lovers not invited to the party.) [Variety]
· The rumors are true! After 50 years, NBC is moving from its legendary plot in Burbank to a spot across the street from Universal Studios. NBC plans to sell the real estate to a single wholesale retail giant, who'll develop it into independent nation state Costcovia, where every man, woman, and child is guaranteed a pickle-barrel-sized container of mayonnaise. [Variety]
· Private Practice's audience continues to grow, and Pushing Daisies won its timeslot despite coming down from its premiere numbers. Bionic Woman, however continues to plunge steadily since its first week, throwing the future of Isaiah Washington's triumphant comeback into question. [THR]
· Medium creator Glenn Gordon Caron gets a two-year deal at CBS, mainly on the strength of his Patricia-Arquette's-Rack-in-3D initiatives. [THR]

Magic Johnson Beats The Hillary Drum

Seth — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 12:26:26 PDT

· Not to be outdone by Oprah Winfrey's lavish Barack Obama fundraiser—attended by the likes of Will Smith, Jamie Foxx and Chris Rock—lesser community-outreach deity Magic Johnson hosts one for Hillary Clinton at his Beverly Hills home. [Variety]
· Finally convinced it won't lead to an assist-tent-city for Valkyrie crew members to work out their shoulder knots and lingering Hitler-thetans, Germany reverses its decision not to let the Tom Cruise movie shoot at a historical execution site. [Variety]
· Al Gore's presence at this year's Emmy awards has been confirmed, where he'll be called upon to solicit an apology from Britney Spears for "squandering her one comeback chance and rendering polar bears extinct." [Variety]
· Alyssa Milano will star in Wisegal, a Lifetime movie about a female mobster that will require her to tap into the brash street-smarts of a Samantha Micelli, and the steely business sense of an Angela Bauer. [THR]
· New Line hires the Ghost World screenwriting team of Terry Zwigoff and Dan Clowes to rewrite (and Zwigoff to direct) The $40,000 Man, about an injured astronaut rebuilt as a bionic man on "a measly budget of only $40,000." We're seeing Will Arnett trying to catch up to a moving bicycle, accompanied by the familiar sound effect. [THR]

I, Rudin

Mark — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 11:53:39 PDT

· The trades mourn the recent silencing of their favorite of the Three Tenors. [Variety, THR] [THR]
· Scott Rudin beats out Warner Bros, Universal, Sony, and New Line for the movie rights to the historical novel I, Claudius, with Leo DiCaprio and his The Departed screenwriter William Monahan expected to jump ship from their failed WB bid to join the winning Rudin team. [Variety]
· The Agent Dance, East Coast Edition: NY-based CAA bigshot Bart Walker leaves the evil agenting monolith to form a talent management division at indie film powerhouse Cinetic. We expect reports of the mysterious torching of Walker's apartment to emerge shortly. [THR]
· Apple and Hollywood still can't decide whether to fuck or fight. [Variety]
· Studio execs head into the Toronto Film Festival with "fat wallets and a healthy appetite for product," ready to snap up any movie they think might make a buck during a possible strike by the guilds. [Variety]

John Cusack's Action Hero Dreams Dashed

Seth — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 11:30:56 PDT

· We're impressed with Variety's show of headline-pun restraint with this one: The plug has been pulled on Stopping Power, Jan De Bont's planned action thriller starring John Cusack, after funding fell through at the last minute. [Variety]
· Conflicting with other reports, Ang Lee's Lust, Caution "thrilled" Venice audiences. One journalist asked if the graphic sexual sequences were real, to which the director responded, "Have you seen the film?" Funny—we always felt what The Hulk could have used were some Brown Bunnyesque elements. [Variety]
· ABC orders a script for The Fixer, about "the most powerful woman in New York." We knew it was only a matter of time before Leona Helmsley's dogwalker had her own show. [Variety]
· NBC and Apple have a parting of the ways, with NBC's content disappearing from iTunes as soon as December. Why can't Steve Jobs and Ben Silverman just iron this bullshit out over a couple of primo bong hits? [THR]
· Giovanni Ribisi is pulled in by the CAA Death Star's tractor beams. Run, Giovanni! They're nothing but a greedy and secretive institution that want to have undue influence over your life decisions! [THR]

Venice Film Festival Audiences Hold Off For Now On Planned Booing

Seth — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:54:49 PDT

· The Venice Film Festival opening film—a WWII drama starring Keira Knightley called Atonement—was screened to mostly positive word of mouth, a triumph capped by fest organizers allowing star James McAvoy to have full access to the controls of the Ceremonial Wrecking Ball. [Variety]
· Renee Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr. are circling Chilled in Miami, a romcom about "a Miami businesswoman who's transferred to the sticks of Minnesota." Why do we have a feeling we'll be forced to watch this on a five-inch screen trapped in American Airlines rat-class? [Variety]
· We honestly thought Singing Bee's title as absolute worst show on TV was safe, but now we're not so sure: Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann is a go as an ABC midseason replacement, hosted by Nick Lachey's twinkle-toed brother, Drew. [Variety]
· BermanBraun, the petri dish result of combining toppled Paramount tyrant Gail Berman with former Yahoo-square-peg Lloyd Braun into a production company that sounds like a hand-blender, has hired a Yahoo exec to join them on their march to total media domination. [THR]
· Rejoice, Xbox Live subscribers: Family Guy episodes are merely a click away, with the added feature of being able to vaporize the annoying Griffin family with a variety of Gears of War weaponry at the end of every episode. [THR]

Venice Film Festival Relies On Overly Literal Visual Metaphor

Seth — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 12:51:25 PDT

· A giant wrecking ball "made to look like it's smashing the facade of the fascist-era Palazzo del Cinema" made for a unique and creative conversation piece to kick off the Venice Film Festival, but placing a flattened and spread-eagled adhesive image of Lindsay Lohan on it bordered on bad taste. [Variety]
· What happens when you get overpaid to underperform? You get sent to a war zone, that's what! [Variety]
· New CBS game show Power of 10 scored its highest ratings yet with a crossover episode in which Big Brother houseguests faced off for big money prizes. Contestant Amber came away with $1000, for correctly predicting the percentage of Americans who think all Jews are money-grubbing, cloven-hoofed heathens who can never be trusted. (A whopping 38%!)
· Jeremy Davies has been cast in a "heavily recurring" role on the next season of Lost, playing a "mysterious new character whose bellybutton needs to be poked every 108 minutes." [THR]
· Ben Affleck is just the latest in a veritable constellation of stars who have signed on to He's Just Not That Into You, the movie based on the book based on the Sex and the City phrase that, quite frankly, we dearly wish had never been uttered. [THR]

[Photo: WireImage]

The Rock Returns To 'Witch Mountain'

Seth — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 11:25:53 PDT

· We don't even know where to begin with this one: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is set to star in Disney's Witch Mountain, a follow-up to one of the most formative moviegoing experiences of our distant youth, Escape to Witch Mountain. Don't mess with Tony and Tia, Rock: They fuck you up good. [Variety]
· Tim Burton's "could you turn the human-intestinal-pudding shots down a smidge?" Sweeney Todd gets a December 21st release date. [Variety]
· George Lucas hired white-hot screenwriter John Ridley to write the script for Red Tails, a WWII drama about the color-barrier-shattering Tuskegee Airmen, feared by the Germans for their deadly, X-wing-mounted laser rifles. [Variety]
· Social networking websites gone public! Analysts suspect sites like Classmates.com could do well on the stock market, backed by irresistible marketing campaigns like, "Can you believe SHE married HIM?" [THR]
· Innovative agents Michael McConnell and Ben Press are suing the agency for being "unfairly chained to their jobs." Both suits cite the heavy, iron chains soldered to their ankles and tethered to their desks as irrefutable proof. [THR]

Keanu Reeves Practicing His 'Whoas' For Sci-Fi Remake

Seth — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 12:00:57 PDT

· Hollywood Out of Ideas: Let's Stick Neo in Another End-of-the- World-with- Robots-Movie Edition: Fox greenlights a remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still, starring Keanu Reeves. [Variety]
· American Eagle, purveyors of fine, outdoorsy shmatahs to mall-patrons everywhere, has actually launched an "entertainment production arm," and is rushing several web-based projects into productions. We don't know about you, but we're thrilled The Adventures of Sensible, Double-Pleated, Triple-Washed Chinos finally got the greenlight it deserved. [Variety]
· The Bourne Ultimatum continues to dominate the international box office—particularly Denmark, where national treasure Matt Damon's birthday is feted with a symbolic dumping of a Minnie Driver-alike in a staged ceremony attended by tens of thousands. [Variety]
· South Park's evil geniuses Matt Stone and Trey Parker have their contract renewed at Paramount, a juicy ad-sharing deal which will guarantee the duo "$75 million over the next four years," ensuring many more adventures for Lemmiwinks in the Land of Mr. Slave's Bowels. [THR]
· Hollywood Nepotismwatch: Paramount Vantage greenlights its first deal with Will Ferrell and Adam McKay's Gary Sanchez Prods.—The Goods: The Don Ready Story, set to star none other than McKay's brother-in-law, Jeremy Piven. Now you know who your sister has to fuck to get a job in this town.

ABC Very Gay-Responsible

Seth — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 13:19:00 PDT

· GLAAD's first-ever "Network Responsibility Index" rates each network for how well they "handle the still-sensitive issue of depicting lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals on TV." ABC got the highest rating for shows like Ugly Betty, Brothers and Sisters, and the upcoming Cavemen, sure to stir up much constructive discussion about gay-caveman stereotypes. [Variety]
· International audiences flock to The Simpsons Movie, where the hilarious image of a grown man choking his son transcends all geocultural boundaries. [Variety]
· Kevin Reilly greenlights his first project for Fox—The Oaks, about "three different couples who inhabit the same house at three different times," all of whom are visited by ghosts. Ben Silverman reads this, secretly thinks to himself: "But where's the sexy?" [Variety]
· Scott Rudin buys the rights to best-seller The Dangerous Book for Boys, sure to inspire countless "Dangerous Book for Assistants" parodies, featuring merit badges for hurled-object ducking. [THR]
· Evil babies and flashback jokes appear never to get old, as The Family Guy wins Sunday night for Fox.

Johnny Depp Returns To Gonzo Roots

Mark — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 11:44:49 PDT

· Johnny Depp continues in his quest to wash the bitter, piratey taste of commerce out of his mouth, signing on for an adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson's novel The Rum Diary. [Variety]
· Brett Ratner, Billion Dollar Director Day also sees the announcement of a new two-year deal with 20th Century Fox TV, for whom he produces Prison Break and the upcoming Women's Murder Club, establishing that there is no visual medium safe from his boundless ambition. [THR]
· The Simpsons Movie takes in $96 million at the foreign box office, setting a number of single-day and opening weekend records and crushing competition like Transformers and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. [Variety]
· Perhaps because nearly every Simpsons fan in America was watching the World's Favorite Dysfunctional Family at the multiplex, a repeat of the TV show finished behind CBS's Big Brother in the Sunday night ratings race. [THR]
· All hail your new global leader: Variety editor-at-large Elizbaeth Guider jumps to THR as editor, where she'll be "the global leader responsible for the editorial vision and strategic direction of The Hollywood Reporter's daily and weekly editions, digital content offerings and industry-leading executive conferences while overseeing its staff of editors and reporters worldwide." [THR]

Addiction's Silent Victim, Lindsay Lohan Vehicle 'Poor Things,' To Continue With Shoot As Planned

Seth — Tue, 29 May 2007 12:40:54 PDT

· As we mentioned earlier, there's a new Golden Boy at NBC: Jeff Zucker reconfigures the executive structure at the once great, now consistently fourth-place network, essentially drop-kicking Kevin Reilly and luring Ben Silverman away from his successful production company to take over West Coast operations. [Variety]
· The aptly named Still Rolling Prods. says principal photography on grannie heist movie Poor Things is to begin Wednesday as planned, which means either co-star Lindsay Lohan will be recast, or the script will be rewritten to incorporate an actual L.A. courthouse and Malibu detox facility. [Variety]
· CBS greenlit six episodes of Do You Trust Me?, a game show that's betting audiences will show up to see if a player falling backwards will be caught by his co-contestants, or if they'll pull their arms away at the last moment, allowing him to be impaled on the Spikes of Death. [Variety]
· Miss Universe takes a beating in the ratings, trampled by a Two and a Half Men rerun. Miss USA, meanwhile, takes a beating of her own, tripping during the evening gown competition and getting booed loudly by the Mexican audience during the interview portion. Terrible! Kind of funny, but just terrible! [THR]
· In keeping with recent trends of premiering major Hollywood releases abroad (hey—they know on which side of the Atlantic and/or Pacific their popcorn flick is buttered), Michael Bay's blowing-shit-uppingest movie in ages, Transformers, is to get its first public showing at Rome's Taormina Film Fest. [THR]

TV Audiences May Needs Some Time To Warm Up To Brett Ratner

Mark — Wed, 23 May 2007 12:55:18 PDT

· Mike Myers is the latest star to try and take a whack at the long-gestating remake of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, which has now moved from Paramount to 20th Century Fox, and to which Owen "The Butterscotch Stalliion" Wilson and Jim "My Career's Way Too Cold To Have A Decent Nickname" Carrey were once attached. [Variety]
· MTV Games has announced a Jackass video game, which will ship with a special controller that will deliver blunt-force trauma to a player's genitals or emit flatulence in his face as he steers Johnny Knoxville and his gang through a variety of wacky stunts. [THR]
· Fox's American Idol predictably dominates in its timeslot, but there's some potentially bad news for the network: the preview/premiere of On the Lot opens to a weak number, calling into serious question Brett Ratner's TV drawing power. [Variety]
· Cuba Gooding Jr. will produce and play a pivotal janitor role in "edgy," Napoloean Dynamite-esque teen comedy Harold. [THR]
·Writers' collectives are so hot right now: Screenwriters like Christopher "Usual Suspects" McQuarrie, John "Undercover Brother" Ridley, and Naomi "Jake and Maggie's Mom" Foner Gyllenhaal have formed the 1.3.9 co-op, joining forces to help each other maintain more control over the creative process.

'Gilmore Girls' Finally Silenced

Mark — Thu, 03 May 2007 14:16:47 PDT

· Rory and Lorelai will banter adorably no more forever: The CW announces that Gilmore Girls will air its final episode on May 15. We're not too sad, as we're sure the network has alternative MILF-related programming ready to take its place in the Fall. [Variety]
· Chris Von Goetz and Kevin Crotty are named co-heads of the TV lit department at ICM., which had been leaderless since the merger with BWCS. All we really care about: How nice are their shoes? Are we talking Whitesell nice or WMA nice? [THR]
· George Clooney and producing BFF Grant Heslov will co-write a dramedy, about how the CIA used Hollywood to stage a fake movie project (which was so well-faked Var and THR wrote about it) to sneak hostages out of Tehran in 1979, for Warner Brothers. [Variety]
· 28.1 million Idol fans tuned in to watch the final performances of The One Who Thinks He's Justin Timblerlake—As If! and The One Now Free From Being Forced To Wear Funny Hats By Cruel Wardrobe Assistants on Wednesday night. [THR]
· HBO will air a concert featuring the real Timberlake (suck, it Richardson!), its first one in four years. [Variety]

Imagine Gets Into The Frank Langella Business For 'Frost/Nixon'

Seth — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:05:01 PDT

· Frank Langella will reprise his stage role as Nixon for Imagine's big screen version of Peter Morgan's celebrated play, Frost/Nixon. The casting suggests director Ron Howard will remain true to the source material, though that doesn't completely rule out Akiva Goldsman being brought in for an eleventh-hour rewrite that incorporates several make-believe characters that exist only in the disgraced President's paranoid imagination. [Variety]
· In further Imagine news, Ridley Scott signs on to direct Russell Crowe in Nottingham, the "Robin Hood but where the Sheriff's the good guy" movie, hoping the two can reignite Gladiator, not-so-much A Good Year, magic. [Variety]

· As we mentioned on Friday, Will & Grace series creators David Kohan and Max Mutchnick reached a surprise settlement with NBC Studios after a near mistrial was called moments before the verdict in their $55 million lawsuit was to be read. Both the tossed verdict and settlement deal remain undisclosed, but TMZ is reporting that the jury had awarded them $48.5 million plus punitive damages. [Variety]
· Upcoming World's Biggest Comedy Movie Star Seth Rogen (Carell had his turn) plays an oafish stoner with a hot blonde love interest in a Judd Apatow-produced movie. Only this time, it's called The Pineapple Express, not Knocked Up. [THR]
· Roger Ebert's Overlooked Film Festival turned into a weekend-long tribute to the populist film critic, who's recovering from reconstructive jaw surgery after a bout with thyroid cancer. It even included a screening of Russ Meyers' Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, for which a young Ebert wrote the Triple-D-rated screenplay. [Variety]

Trade Round-Up: Chinese Pirates Already Disrespecting 'Spider-Man 3' Copyrights

Mark — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 12:05:11 PDT

· Realizing that he's only played a lawyer once (Fatal Attraction), Michael Douglas quickly signs on to fill the courtroom-drama-shaped hole in his career by starring in Tragic Indifference, based on a landmark case against Ford over its "indifference to flaws in its SUVs." Scene-chewing delivery of a stirring closing statement to follow. [Variety]
· Chinese Pirates 1, Sony 0: China's camcording brigade has already made pirated copies of Spider-Man 3 available on the streets of Beijing, nearly two weeks ahead of the movie's U.S. debut. Didn't that flashy Tokyo premiere teach the scofflaws anything about respecting copyrights? The MPAA's next step: dispatching piracy-hating stuntman Manny Perry to smash some black market DVD stalls with a Louisville slugger. [THR]
· The Coen Brothers will make the Fargoesque dark comedy A Serious Man for Working Title and Focus Features. Lantern-jawed muse George Clooney has yet to be attached. [Variety]
· Should ABC pick up the much-discussed Grey's Anatomy spin-off for the fall, creator Shonda Rhimes has selected Krista Vernoff to run the Grey's mothership and Marti Noxon for the satellite; Rhimes will oversee both, which will primarily involve ensuring that both shows' characters have properly overwrought speeches about their impossibly complicated love-lives to deliver and collecting enormous paychecks [THR]
· Lifetime proves its admirable commitment to keeping the female television drama stars of the 90's off the streets, signing up 90210's Jennie Garth and Party of Five's Lacey Chabert for made-for-TV movie gigs. [Variety]

Trade Round-Up: 'The Contractually Mandated Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants'

Mark — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:06:16 PDT

· Warner Bros. is in talks with American Ferrara, Blake Lively, Amber Tamblyn and Alexis Bledel to reprise their roles in a much-clamored for sequel to The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, which will finally provide some answers to the many unanswered, peripatetic-jeans-related questions posed by the original. [Variety]
· But wait! Scandal! THR says that Ferrara, whose Ugly Betty stardom has made her outgrow her humble, traveling pants beginnings, is being forced back into the project by a sequel option. [THR]
· Warner Bros. buys the feature remake rights to the documentary Our Brand Is Crisis, about how James Carville's political consulting firm helped changed the course of the 2002 Bolivian presidential election, for George Clooney's Smoke House shingle to produce as one of the smallish directing and/or starring vehicles in which the actor likes to dabble between Ocean's 11 sequels. [Variety]
· ABC wins Sunday night despite Desperate Housewives hitting an all-time viewership low. Time to kill off Eva Longoria during sweeps? Probably couldn't hurt! [THR]
· Lindsay Lohan loses her job in the Dylan Thomas biopic The Best Time of Our Lives to Sienna Miller, whose inevitable tabloid misadventures will probably be somewhat less damaging to the production than Lohan's. [Variety]

Trade Round-Up: Two Words: Singing Bee

Mark — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 12:46:58 PDT

· U.K.'s ITV and NBC are concurrently developing their own versions of the gameshow The Great American Singing Bee from producers Phil Gurin and Bob Horowitz. But how was such a brilliant concept hatched? "Horowitz 'came to me and said, "Two words: Singing bee," ' Gurin said. 'I said, "Bingo," and we began developing it.'" NBC is also expected to buy the still-undefined, bingo-related concept mentioned in the pitch duo in the coming days, which could involve people shouting at a cage full of numbered ping-pong balls and become a natural companion piece to current hit Deal or No Deal. [Variety]
· EMI makes deal with Apple to sell songs online without digital rights management protection, which will allow iTunes users to download all the copy-protection-free Coldplay songs their iPods can handle. [THR]
· Stephen King's son accepts his birthright of having his horror novel adapted into a feature film, with Neil Jordan directing and Akiva Goldman producing a movie version of Heart-Shaped Box, a spooky tale of a haunted killer suit bought on eBay. [Variety]
· While CBS wins the evening in the 18-49 demo with the NCAA tournament championship game, its final number will probably indicate it was the fourth-lowest-rated one in the last 10 years. Take that, Joakim Noah! [THR]
· MTV greenlights the Ashton Kutcher game show pilot 3 Kings, hoping that their relationship with the star won't fizzle out after Punk'd ends after its upcoming, final season. [Variety]

Trade Round-Up: Ponch Returns To The Police Academy

Mark — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 12:47:13 PST

Production has already begun on CBS's latest foray into the "marginal celebrities performing activities for which they're hilariously ill-suited" genre of reality TV, Armed and Famous, in which Erik "Hey, I Once Played A Motorcycle Cop!" Estrada, LaToya Jackson, Jack Osborne, and Wee Man will train to become gun-toting members of the Muncie, Indiana police force. We expect that reports of Muncie's first parking ticket-related fatal shooting will soon surface. [Variety]
House pulls in its best ratings since its season premiere, crushing the debut of ABC's new comedy, Big Day, which stars that guy from all those short-lived sitcoms whose name we can never remember. [THR]
Universal casts Martin Lawrence in the Malcolm Lee comedy The Better Man, a project that strips him of the acting crutch represented by the latex fat suits he's recently relied on to portray the titular character in Big Momma's House 2 and John Travolta in Wild Hogs. [Variety]
According to a USC study, parents think their kids are online too much, robbing them of the vital life experiences provided by the rainbow parties their internet usage is causing them to miss out on. [THR]
The Real World's ratings are off 53 percent from last season, indicating that basic cable audiences might finally be tired of watching drunk assholes scream at each other while living rent-free in lavishly decorated apartments. Even if these discouraging results makes MTV give up on the series, we hope they continue on with Real World/Road Rules Challenge, as drunk assholes screaming at each other while bungie jumping off hot air balloons floating over active volcanos still has some entertainment value. [Variety]

Trade Round-Up: 'Pirates' May Rape And Pillage Record Numbers Of Moviegoers

Mark — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 12:57:49 PDT

· Cower before the box office juggernaut that is Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, which "huge tracking numbers" reveal may crush Aquaman's all-time opening weekend record. Still, Disney's head of distribution pretends he's not already designing gloating ads in the trades with room for nine figures trailing a golden dollar sign: "No matter how you answer that question, it can come back to hurt you." Eh, stop being such a pussy and predict a $200 million take! No one will hold you to the figure on Monday morning, we promise. [Variety]
· Now this is one we've gotta see for ourselves: The Princess Bride's Westley will molest Lindsay Lohan in Georgia Rule. [THR]
· Emmy mysteries: How can the voters get it so right by snubbing the now unwatchable Desperate Housewives, yet so wrong by ignoring Lost? [Variety]
· Bafflingly, Crash's multiple Oscar wins did not result in the immediate blackballing of all involved in its production, as those with the most damning ties to the film continue to get work. [THR]
· The remake of All the King's Men will premiere at the Toronto Film Festival, unless Sony freaks out again and pushes it back to do some more "edits." [Variety]
· Yarr, cutesy pirate talk has no place in a trade publication. [THR]

Trade Round-Up: Hollywood Loves The Emmys!

Mark — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 13:27:08 PDT

· The trades have Emmy fever! Browse their lists of this year's nominees and join in the fun! [Variety, THR]
· The stars react to their nominations with an refreshing mix of humility, surprise, and surprised humility! Really, it's an honor just to be reading about these nominations. [Variety, THR ]
· Hollywood Out of Ideas, Defiling Christmas Edition: The evil stocking-plunderers at NBC will make a completely unnecessary live-action version of the 1974 stop-motion animation classic The Year Without a Santa Claus, with John Goodman starring as Santa. [Variety]
· David Duchovny, whom we'd assumed had given up acting for a quieter life bagging groceries somewhere in Montana, will join Benicio del Toro and Halle Berry in the highly buzzed about DreamWorks project Things We Lost in the Fire. [THR]
· Dakota Fanning is among 120 new invitees to join AMPAS, all of whom she plans to ruthlessly slaughter in an attempt to show fellow Academy members who's going to be running things for the next forty years. [Variety]

Trade Round-Up: Meryl Streep Helps Save The Summer

Seth — Mon, 03 Jul 2006 14:39:48 PDT

A news-light trade round-up for the holiday weekend:
· As we mentioned in this morning's B.O. report, the real superhero at the movies this weekend was Meryl Streep's Ultra-Bitchwoman, with audiences helpless to her soul-freezing inferiority-rays. [Variety]
· A boycott of Disney by theater owners in Spain has been lifted, finally allowing Spanish audiences to see Cars, and wonder for themselves exactly how automotive procreation works during the endless Owen Wilson-Bonnie Hunt flirtation scenes. [Variety]
· Roger Ebert is in stable condition after emergency, cancer-related surgery. [THR]
· CBS wins a slow Sunday with repeats of Cold Case and 60 Minutes, or as they refer to it internally, "walking dead night." [THR]

Trade Round-Up: Les Moonves' Sweet Victory

Seth — Fri, 30 Jun 2006 13:53:10 PDT

· Four of the six big media companies saw their stocks rise this year. Among them, CBS' went up 4%, while Viacom went down 10%. Les Moonves was last overheard cackling in his office, inviting his secretary to join him for a slice of a custom-ordered cake iced to resemble a naked, weeping Tom Freston. [Variety]
· Superman Returns pulls in a healthy $21 million on its opening day, performing to but not exceeding Warner Bros.' expectations, and not coming anywhere near Spider-Man 2 record of $40.4 million. Brandon Routh's agent announces the happy news at some teenager's house party in the Valley, as his client teeters on the roof, having an Almost Famous moment. [Variety]
· Sony screens 20 minutes of Casino Royale at the Cinema Expo, revealing a much grittier, angry Bond who [SPOILER!] blossoms once he reluctantly accepts an undercover post acting as a bitchy fashion editor's assistant. [Variety]
· "How do you end a network?" In the case of The WB, apparently you end it by airing a day's worth of old pilots and "classic promos and image campaigns from the WB's 11-year history." Be sure to catch the montage of Regrettable Felicity Hair Decisions, set to a tear-jerking "Time Of Your Life (Good Riddance)." [Variety]
· Kyra Sedgwick's TNT series The Closer has been renewed for a third season, in which audiences will finally learn what Kyra has been getting closer to in the first two seasons. [THR]

Trade Round-Up: Moonves Considering Getting Into Wrasslin' Pictures

Mark — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 12:29:46 PDT

· The hands-down winner of the most intriguing lede of the day: "Few grown men get as fired up about princesses and fairies as Andy Mooney..." Also, "Magic blingdom" is a pretty amusing title. Is everyone at Variety totally high today? [Variety]
· Bloodthirsty CBS Corp warlord Les Moonves muses about taking baby-steps towards getting into the movie business, with an eye towards eventually crushing Viacom rival Tom Freston's Paramount product. [THR]
· HBO's Lucky Louie pulls in some decent ratings numbers after a week's worth of showings following its low-rated series premiere. [Variety]
· Natalie Portman and Eric Bana are in negotiations to star in The Other Boleyn Girl, a period drama whose lavish costumes will probably afford Portman yet another opportunity to avoid tastefully done cinematic nudity. [THR]
· News Corp wil expand MySpace into countries like France and Germany, where teenagers previously lacked a way to share their favorite Fall Out Boy songs in a web-based medium. [Variety]

Trade Round-Up: Cyberpimp Rupert Murdoch Begins Process Of Turning Out MySpace

Mark — Tue, 16 May 2006 12:51:13 PDT

· CBS is expected to announce a schedule tomorrow that "emphasizes stability and consistency" to contrast with the "pants-wetting desperation moves" made earlier this week by "the pussies" at NBC and ABC. [Variety]
· Following in the footsteps of directing giants George Lucas and Peter Jackson, the curiously hacky Michael Bay acquires the effects studio Digital Domain, which he will charge with the task of creating cinema's most realistic somersaulting, exploding exotic sports cars. [THR]
· The two-hour season finale Grey's Anatomy scored big without a Desperate Housewives lead-in, perhaps foreshadowing what the show might do when unleashed on Thursday nights this fall. [Variety]
· News Corp. will sell episodes of 24 on MySpace, part of a larger strategy to use the site to take on Yahoo and iTunes. So beware: When "Beheaded Terrorist Who Refused To Tell Jack The Location Of The Dirty Bomb" asks to be one of your friends, he's just trying to make you buy something. [THR/Reuters]
· Though the WGA's contract doesn't expire for over a year, studios are already starting to talk strike preparation in the trades, prompting the Guild to decry the rhetoric retaliating for their own "saber-rattling" in the media. Can't everyone just walk out now and get this over with? [Variety]

Trade Round-Up: Sundance's Sunshine

Seth — Mon, 23 Jan 2006 11:43:53 PST

· We have our first official big-buzz Sundance hit: Little Miss Sunshine, an ensemble comedy starring Greg Kinnear, Toni Collette and Steve Carell, was snapped up by Fox Searchlight for $10 million after an enthusiastically received premiere and a bidding war that went into the "wee hours." Look for a huge release next year, followed by disappointing box office take when it is completely eclipsed by a Norwegian documentary about sea lion reproduction. [Variety]
· As we mentioned earlier, Brokeback Mountain earns the Producers Guild's top honor. Larry H. Miller reacts by banning any movie with a producer credit from screening at his theaters. [Variety]
· Fox orders a half-hour sitcom based on former NBAer Paul Shirley's blog, "My So-Called NBA Career." The blogification of Hollywood begins, with agents adapting first: Goodbye Armani suits, hello soiled boxers! [Variety]
· Tommy Mottola has optioned the book Queens Reigns Supreme: Fat Cat, 50 Cent and the Rise of the Hip-Hop Hustler, with plans to develop a series. Industry watchers are touting it as the next Designing Women, just with bullet-riddled gangsta rappers sitting around trading saucy quips instead of southern belle interior decorators. [Variety]
· Ron Howard's The Da Vinci Code will open the Cannes Festival in May, to be immediately followed by crowds of French cinema elitists doing their weird-sounding version of booing. [THR]

Trade Round-Up: Screeners Ruin Sundance Surprise

Seth — Fri, 20 Jan 2006 12:32:51 PST

· The Sundance Festival loses some of its excitement due to the fact that many buyers are showing up having already seen screeners of most of the films in the comfort of their own homes, at what is unofficially being referred to as the Underpants Festival. [Variety]
· As the WSJ reported yesterday, talks between the purported Disney acquisition of Pixar are at a very sensitive stage, with Bob Iger and Steve Jobs courtship being observed more closely than two newly-introduced pandas at the San Diego Zoo. [Variety]
· The team behind Dodgeball sells Dreamworks a pitch for a Dr. Evil-envying $1 million. While the plot is being kept a secret, we have it on good authority that it relies heavily on Ben Stiller playing a pompous and/or put-upon guy who is constantly humiliated and/or has trouble keeping his rage bottled up. [Variety]
· Tooth gnashing, wild-eyed crusader for moral betterment Jack Valenti introduces a multimillion-dollar plan to educate Americans about the various ways to protect their children from Satan s tangy gumdrops, i.e. televised smut and violence. [Variety]
· Commander in Chief has been seeing a steady decline in its ratings since its debut, though producers are optimistic that people will show up for their ripped-from-the-headlines episode in which Geena Davis likens the Senate to Uncle Tom s Cabin. [THR]
· Showtime president Bob Greenblatt announces at the TCA winter press tour that there are ongoing negotiations for the premium network to pick up Arrested Development, but that no deal has been reached, further stretching out the series excruciatingly long death sequence, while bringing hope to millions of Arrested fans who, push comes to shove, won t shell out the bucks to subscribe to Showtime in the end, anyway. [THR]

Trade Round-Up: Koppel Snubs HBO

Mark — Wed, 04 Jan 2006 10:57:50 PST

· The Producers Guild goes indie/specialty with its best film awards nominations, rounding up Brokeback, Capote, Crash, Good Night, and Good Luck, and Walk the Line. Did any of them actually see Crash? [Variety]
· And here come the Writers Guild nominations for best original screenplay: Cinderella Man, Crash, Good Night, and Good Luck, The Squid and the Whale, and The 40-Year-Old Virgin. We think our feelings about one of these nominees are clear by now, so we'll avoid beating that dead hor...oh, fuck it. Crash? Really now? [THR]
· Ted Koppel signs a Seacrestian (yeah, we went there) multi-year deal to produce documentaries and "town meetings" for The Discovery Channel, leaving jilted lover HBO to wistfully smell the helmet-shaped indentation on the pillow from their last romantic rendezvous. [Variety]
· ABC wins the Tuesday night ratings war with its coverage of the Orange Bowl, or as Variety likes to call it, the Fiesta Bowl. [THR, Variety]
· Warner Bros. and Fox celebrate winning 2005's box office, while DreamWorks and Sony cross their fingers for a less disastrous '06. [Variety]

Trade Round-Up: "Arrested" Possibly Saved, New Line Definitely Trimmer

Mark — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 11:41:03 PST

· Var reports on yesterday's New Line layoffs (two dozen let go just in time for the holidays!), but says "no top execs were axed." We've heard that VPs Matt Moore and George Waud were among the purged, who many tell us should qualify as "top level execs." Developing... [Variety]
· Potentially great news for Arrested Development fans: Though FOX hasn't "officially" canceled AD yet, there are "serious" talks between 20th Century Fox TV and Showtime and ABC to find the series a new model home. We've heard rumblings (there we go hearing things again) that the Showtime deal might be close to completion, but we've been hurt before. [Variety, THR]
· The grown-up sons of Tito Jackson are shopping around a reality series in which they try to recapture the musical semi-fame of their youth. No further commentary necessary. [THR]
· Jamie Foxx will star in adaptation of James Stetson novel Blood on the Leaves for Paramount, as a "district attorney who grapples with feelings of revenge as he prosecutes a black history professor on trial for the murders of white men accused of crimes against blacks during the civil rights movement," Sadly, it looks like Foxx's vaunted musical skills will go unutilized in the role. [Variety]
· Disney's first attempt to tap into the Chinese entertainment market involves unraveling the secrets of a magic gourd. [THR]
· Now officially famous for becoming the new James Bond, Daniel Craig signs over ten percent of his soul to CAA. [Variety]

Trade Round-Up: NBC Enjoys Holiday Miracle

Mark — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 11:15:53 PST

· Viacom names the board members of its post-split companies. While "new" Viacom head Tom Freston endeavored to populate his new board with solid, qualified businesspeople, CBS Corp. despot Les Moonves selected only directors bloodthirsty enough to help him rise up and slay skeletal corporate overlord Sumner Redstone when the time is right. [Variety]
· Sylvester Stallone recasts his own real-life son (whose heartbreaking turn as Rocky Jr. in the last movie haunts us to this day) with Gilmore Girls' Milo Ventimiglia for the sixth Rocky installment. What can we believe in when even nepotism fails us in this time of need? [THR]
· CBS midseason schedule unfolds before our eyes: Out of Practice gets a January "breather" (read: tied up in Les Moonves's trunk) while Tom Cavanaugh project Love Monkey and The Jenna Elfman Show find time slots. In March, when (read: if) )Out of Practice returns, it will be joined by the Julia Louis Dreyfus show The New Adventures of Old Christine and the David Mamet drama The Unit. Got it? Nope, neither do we. [Variety]
· Kevin Reilly celebrates the pre-Thanksgiving miracle of an NBC ratings win by giving turkeys to all of his employees. Unfortunately, the birds were already half-baked and will likely have to be abandoned midway through Thursday's meals. [THR]
· Single track downloads more than doubled from last year, but album sales are down 7%, prompting the MPAA to sue each individual downloaded track for destroying the industry's business model. [Variety]