But with Stacey gone, we now turn to the second most interesting bottle-blonde prospect: actress Shayne, who in the premiere's most stunning confession, revealed that she has long lived in the shadow of her famous father and grandfather, Lorenzo and Fernando Lamas. So accustomed is this hottie—genetically engineered to withstand even her exacting father's laser-pointed flawbservations—to getting what she wants, she basically refuses to capitulate to the show's central premise of 25 desperate, backstabbing women "eyeing for" the blue ribbon steed of their dreams. In the confrontation above, she admits as much, whereupon Sexiest British Bachelor Ever Matt Grant calmly explains that, sorry lady, those are the rules, get back in line with the rest of the biological-clock-ticking wenches 'til your ovaries start salivating 'round rose-distribution time.

• The Bachelor [ABC]

1. Meet The Spartans - $18.725 million
2. Rambo - $18.150 million
America, it seems, has let Sylvester Stallone down. He gives and he gives, even a good twenty years past his cinematic prime, by offering up an exhausting 236 kills in a taut, blink-and-you-missed-the-slaughter- of-half-the-Burmese-army 93 minutes and still he's subjected to the indignity of finishing behind a third-rate spoof flick.

Still, Rambo performed well enough that executive producer Harvey Weinstein is already making noise about adding another chapter to the franchise, perhaps one in which the monosyllabic, mom-jeans-wearing killing machine plies his brutal trade back in the States, tripling his staggering Myanmar body count in an utterly punishing 68 minutes in an attempt to reclaim his rightful place atop the domestic box office.

3. 27 Dresses - $13.6 million
Meanwhile, in screenings of Rambo all over the country, guys found themselves powerless to stop the dates they'd cajoled into an evening of watching their favorite semi-retired vigilante blow holes the size of cannon balls into the midsections of his swarming, rape-crazed enemies from storming out of the theater, then seeking out the warm, comforting embrace of Katherine Heigl for a second time.

4. Cloverfield - $12.7 million
With a 68% drop-off from its January-record-shattering· opening weekend, we're forced to conclude that widespread reports about Cloverfield Barf Syndrome kept the weak of stomach far from the film and its vertigo-inducing camerawork.

5. Untraceable- $11.2 million
We realize that torture porn is a dying genre, but perhaps the Untraceable's debut performance would've been stronger if the studio had more fully embraced its sensational, gruesome-murder-by-online-video premise by titling it SnuffTube.

• WEEKEND BOX OFFICE January 25-27, 2008 [BoxOfficeMojo.com]