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Survivor

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trade roundup

Desperate Academy Begs WGA For Oscar Answers

· Anxious that the Oscars are approaching and he still has no real idea of whether or the WGA—obviously a little preoccupied with their own issues—intends to grant a waiver for their awards ceremony, Academy president Sid Ganis begs the Guild for answers so that complicated logistical issues can be resolved. "We're running out time! [desperate punctuation ours]," wails Ganis, pleading for the sweet release of either a simple "yes" or "no." [Variety]
· Following his reported Monday dismissal from CAA for allegedly getting caught with his hand too far into Oprah's network cookie jar, reality TV agent Michael Camacho lands at UTA after "competitive and aggressive courting" by other agencies who believe that the controversy just proves he's an impish go-getter who might have gotten a little carried away during that recent Death Star misadventure. [THR]

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12:28 PM on Thu Feb 7 2008
By Mark
861 views, 1 comment

Latest by Benovite: I saw a woman wearing a 'WGA on strike' t-shirt yesterday and realized that writers have been on strike for almost 30 years. more »

fight night

Bonaduce Vs. Fairplay Fight Just As Lopsided As You'd Imagine


At something called the Fox Reality Channel Really Awards last night, grandmother-exploiting Survivor villain Johnny Fairplay and unkillable Breaking Bonaduce star Danny Bonaduce engaged in a reportedly very one-sided physical altercation on stage, in which Fairplay suffered some lost teeth and a broken toe after being body-slammed by his better-muscled antagonist. (Bonaduce claims the tooth-shattering piledriver was administered in self-defense.) While we haven't seen any leaked footage from the awards ceremony emerge yet—please, Fox Reality Channel, get to YouTubing—TMZ did manage to capture some of the fight's aftermath, where an artful shot of a discarded, bloody tissue hints at the carnage that took place inside.

9:27 AM on Wed Oct 3 2007
By Mark
21,022 views, 8 comments

Latest by shag_carpet_bomb: @shag_carpet_bomb: AN atomic wedgie. dammit more »

short ends

22 Conversations About One Lane Garrison Thing


· Ever find yourself wondering what Survivor legend Sue Hawk is doing with herself these days? Wonder no more: Thanks to a visit from Access Hollywood, we know she's blasting snakes with a shotgun and lighting shit on fire with a propane torch. In other words: Exactly what we thought she'd be doing. Hey, beats going to jail for tax evasion.
· In case you have any doubt about who owns the Lane Garrison beat, here's one TMZ for each post they've run about his court appearance today: TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, TMZ.
· "There are pilots who can fly a plane. But Tom Cruise has the soul of flyer. I saw that right from the start."
· When you've got a celebrity murder trial jury you need to keep well fed, these are the guys you call.
· At the Chateau Marmont's grade school cafeteria, Victoria Beckham is becoming the smelly kid no one wants to sit near.

5:30 PM on Thu Aug 2 2007
By Mark
3,123 views, 11 comments

Latest by SugartitsMcFirecrotch: BritBrit is turning up her nose at sitting next to Posh??! That's the pot calling the kettle skanky for reals, y'all. more »

trade roundup

Trade Round-Up: 'Survivor' Goes To China

· CBS announces that Survivor's fifteenth (!) edition (tentative title: Survivor: Human Rights Violations) will shoot in China, which hopes that hosting an American reality TV series that's overstayed its welcome for ten seasons will somehow get people excited about the 2008 Beijing Olympics. [Variety]
· Mr. & Mrs. Smith writer Simon Kinberg has been brought on to overhaul the Ben Stiller/Tom Cruise project Hardy Men, hoping that the scribe will figure out a way to finally harness the duo's incredible comedic chemistry in a feature-length setting. [THR]
· AOL announces a slate of new, TV-style programming, offerings that are expected to immediately draw more viewers than the majority of NBC's primetime schedule. [Variety]
· Nearly 26 million Americans witnessed Simon Cowell do that thing with his eyes that has everyone so upset today, [THR]
· We'll have to check on this, but we think this story about the pitch (Inland Saints) Paramount bought for The Number 23 director Joel Schumacher, may have identified a totally new cinematic genre: "the supernatural urban drama." [Variety]

1:38 PM on Wed Apr 18 2007
By Mark
629 views, 2 comments

Latest by Xenu: Will Survivor honor the tradition of its host nation and just have Chairman Jeff unilaterally pick the winner after the season-long march down the Great Wall? more »

survivor

Mark Burnett Pirate-Themed Reality Show Sorely Lacking A One-Eyed Donald Trump With Shoulder-Mounted Parrot Advisor

TV producer Mark Burnett has dug his hit-sniffing snout back into the competitive reality show trough and rooted out another winner: By applying the same basic fundamentals of dog-eat-dog survivalism set in literal and urban jungle locales that made Survivor and The Apprentice such enduring hits and merely relocating them to the high seas, CBS is all but certain they have another smash on their hands with Burnett's latest concoction, Survivor With Boats a pirate-themed reality show: More »

12:31 PM on Mon Nov 6 2006
By Seth
974 views, 5 comments

Latest by The Gen X Eurotrash Jetsetter Club: Well thank god the exotic amputees from POTC III finally have more pirate themed adventures ahead of them. I would hate to think of handicapped extras having to get non-film and TV work. bunny - NICE!! that was a laugh more »

survivor

'Survivor' Blends Four Racially Segregated Teams Into Two Delicious Cultural Smoothies

Just two weeks into the much-derided, color-coded current season of Survivor, producers have opted to do away with their four race-warring tribes by blending them into two diverse groups. No reason was offered—no seismic, segregationist-TV-history-altering moment, such as Sundra of the Manihiki tribe refusing to relinquish her seat at the back of a canoe; just host Jeff Probst, newly enlightened student of the Pan Asian experience, announcing, "You have been living together as tribes base upon ethnicity; it is now time to integrate." But, as Reality Blurred points out, alignments within last night's losing Aitutaki tribe seem to indicate the race vs. race fun is far from over: More »

11:31 AM on Fri Sep 29 2006
By Seth
63 views, 8 comments

Latest by Xenu: When Flicka chose the African-American woman with the phrase "the sister on the end," I heard hundreds of thousands of African-Americans across the nation exclaim, "Oh no, she didn't!" more »

survivor

'Survivor' Teaches Us That We Are All God's Sequestered Children


As we patiently wait for Mark to return from his two-day seminar at the John Travolta Flight Academy (he'll be back Monday, and so will our full post count), we thought a fun way to pass the long, tortuous minutes of separation anxiety was with a quiz on last night's much anticipated/dreaded premiere of Survivor: Cook Islands. Regardless of how you score, we think the test, like the clip above, will aptly demonstrate how dead wrong we all were in our assumption that the reality show's four-way race war premise would somehow devolve into a series of cringe-inducing ethnic stereotypes. It's after the jump. Good luck! More »

9:55 AM on Fri Sep 15 2006
By Seth
73 views, 8 comments

Latest by Bon Jour, Pee Wee: I'm with you BoHan. JP, the volley dude is a hottie. http://www.realitytvwebsite.com/SurvivorJohnJPCalderon.htm... more »

survivor

New 'Survivor' Format Teaches Jeff Probst That Asians Can Come From Different Countries

Had Jeff Probst stuck to the Survivor script of outlining the rules for fire-starting contests and overseeing tribal counsels, he probably would have gone down as one of reality TV's more likable and competent hosts. But then the series took a forty-five-degree turn into eugenics territory, and made the even arguably dumber decision to allow Probst to defend the format to the media. What followed were a series of startling statements that revealed the host to be somewhat of a numbskull, such as the epiphany he recently shared with the Washington Post that not all Asians are exactly the same: More »

5:48 PM on Fri Sep 8 2006
By Seth
2,294 views, 12 comments

Latest by thenikster: Divancarchy: "The scary thing is, Probst's views are probably shockingly common among Joe and Betsy Middle-American..." From one incredibly condescending, ignorant, stereo-typical comment to another. I think you'd be suprised at how many of us backwoods, inbred more »

survivor

Mark Burnett Hopes To Confuse 'Survivor' Critics Until First Nielsens Are In

Amid a flurry of media criticism, and with corporate sponsors dropping like so many swatted tsetse flies, reality TV wunderkind producer Mark Burnett finds himself forced to justify his decision to pit race against race on the new season of Survivor. Burnett has finally spoken up in defense of his humanitarian vision, through the unlikely (and mostly unread outside of the TV business) forum of the letters section of Cynthia Turner's Cynopsis. An excerpt: More »

2:41 PM on Wed Sep 6 2006
By Seth
159 views, 2 comments

survivor

Major Corporations Not As Jazzed By Racist 'Survivor' As Are White-Supremacists

It's not just General Motors who have withdrawn their advertising from Survivor: Cook Islands: Major corporations like Coca-Cola, Home Depot and Campbell's Soup have also opted not to sponsor CBS' foray into competitive ethno-Darwinism. And while a Campbell's spokesperson insists the decision was made "back during the upfront," we imagine the show's race vs. race premise certainly helped cement their decision; after all, familiar, comfy sentiments such as "Mmm mm good," and "You Can Do It. We Can Help," become that much harder to sell when immediately following a contestant's meanspirited implorations to, "Paddle harder! The Chinamen are gaining on us!" But not everyone has shown a reluctancy to the series' concept: Since the announcement, white-supremacist internet boards have been ablaze with excited chatter about what the series could do for their cause. From TV Week: More »

12:37 PM on Tue Sep 5 2006
By Seth
103 views, 8 comments

Latest by Trixie from Toronto: But I'm a whitey and I am rooting for Team Chinaman. I know who will soon be my masters! The white supremacists have it all wrong! more »

survivor

Four-Way Race Wars Not Part Of GM's Larger Branding Strategy

General Motors—whose long and storied sponsorship arrangement with Survivor helped sell literally dozens of Pontiac Azteks—has announced it would be parting ways with the series this season, but that their decision was purely based upon business reasons, and not because the new gimmick of pitting races against each other might, you know, alienate 100% of their customer base. Reports Television Week: More »

11:40 AM on Wed Aug 30 2006
By Seth
114 views, 4 comments

survivor

Politicians Of All Races To Band Together To Defeat 'Survivor'

If CBS' goal was to get people talking again about a show no one has given a shit about for years, then yes, divvying up this season's out-of-work-actor cast of Survivor into four piles of headshots of increasing darkness definitely proves how Mark Burnett is a true visionary of the genre. But not everyone is as energized by the hook:
More »

10:58 AM on Fri Aug 25 2006
By Seth
66 views, 7 comments

south park

'Survivor': 'South Park' Island

Beating even the impressive headlines-to-episode turnaround times of Matt Stone and Trey Parker themselves, a Defamer reader drafted this cast photo of the inevitable South Park episode skewering Survivor: Cook Island and its almost-too-ridiculous -to-be-parodied race vs. race premise. We look forward to the requisite scene in which Cartman sensitively explains to Kyle why he can't play along at home, because "there's no bleeping Jew Tribe, Jew," though we can't help but feel this would have been the perfect opportunity for the recently departed Chef to preach in the final moments how it's time we all looked past something as surface as skin color, unless it's a shade of delicious mocha-chocolate covering the large expanse of a plus-plus-sized hooker's ass.

11:04 AM on Thu Aug 24 2006
By Seth
1,559 views, 1 comment

Latest by Rick Blaine: Suffice it to say, South Park should have plenty of themes to deal with in the upcoming season. Plenty. ps- In casting of the upcoming Parker/Stone film, fate will allow Kiefer Sutherland to star in the lead role. It just works. more »

survivor

'Survivor''s Racially Diverse Cast United By Uniformity Of Their Black-And-White Headshots

You've now had some time to digest the fact that CBS has actually gone there, and decided the best way to spice up their castaway game show is by courting contestants from the many shades of the diversity rainbow (wisely omitting the Arab-American Tribe—too terroristy), then running the lucky chosen few under a race-reading UPC bar-code scanner and sorting them accordingly. Highly entertaining is the absurd lengths host Jeff Probst, as demonstrated in this interview with The Slug blog, will shoot for in order to justify this as something other than what it is: a cynical ploy calculated to get people talking and tuning in. RealityBlurred.com also points out that Survivor: Cook Island's far flung cross section of technicolor America may have more in common than their wildly varying skin tones first suggest: More »

1:52 PM on Wed Aug 23 2006
By Seth
86 views, 9 comments

Latest by Trixie from Toronto: Toothy Tile, that is brilliant. more »

survivor

'Survivor' Addresses Lack Of Diversity By Pitting Minorities Against One Another


Just as Page Six reported yesterday, Jeff Probst joined Harry Smith on CBS' The Early Show for an interview to defend Survivor's latest genius promotional hook of dividing next season's contestants into four, race-sorted groups: The Asian-American Tribe, The African-American Tribe, The Hispanic Tribe and The White Tribe (isn't the acceptable term Honky-Americans?). Smith can't hide his contempt for the shamelessness of it all, saying "there were groans" in the studio that morning, which Probst counters by explaining that the show's concept came out of "the criticism that Survivor was not ethnically diverse enough." It was a fundamental flaw in the casting process that producer Mark Burnett and his crack team of sleazebag reality producers immediately addressed by segregating the hungry and increasingly desperate players according to skin color, then letting the cameras capture which ethnic group will first resort to devouring a competing, weaker ethnic group once the stomach pains become too much to bear. More »

10:46 AM on Wed Aug 23 2006
By Seth
189 views, 14 comments

Latest by raincoaster: Ben utterly called it. The only thing he's missing is a cheap reference to Burnett's vision reflecting his cultural heritage. Aussie. more »

survivor

'Survivor' Hopes To Shake Up Format With Island Race Riots

It's hard to believe that twelve seasons of Survivor have come and gone without a single player having been bludgeoned to death in the dead of night with an immunity idol, only to be strung up in a banana tree as a warning to anyone who might think of bogarting that evening's rice ration. But that long-awaited, TV-MA episode could finally arrive in the coming season, when, if the internet rumors are correct, the added, incendiary element of dividing teams according to race could ratchet up the tension considerably: More »

12:04 PM on Tue Aug 22 2006
By Seth
138 views, 7 comments

Latest by BoHan: I'm looking forward to the Spring edition of Religion Survior, for which St. Peter's Square at the Vatican will be the perfect arena: Muslim v. Judaism v. v. Catholicism v. Southern Baptists (that last group will totally kick everyone else's more »

celeb jurisprudence

Richard Hatch Banished To Camp Cupcake For Men

Tax-evading reality TV star Richard Hatch has finally made it to his new prison home for the next 51 months, give or take a few for good behavior. And while his temporary internment facility, the Federal Transfer Center in Oklahoma, was nothing like they advertised in the brochures, we imagine the Federal Correctional Instutions at Morgantown will provide for a much more pleasant incarceration experience: More »

5:51 PM on Wed Aug 2 2006
By Seth
127 views, 1 comment

celeb jurisprudence

CNN Can't Be Bothered To Recall Richard Hatch's Name


In a judicious show of restraint on behalf of CNN Law Center's editors, the word "gay" was removed at the last moment from between the words "naked" and "guy," relieving their headline of any unpleasant undercurrents of insensitivity, cultural or otherwise. More »

12:40 PM on Tue May 16 2006
By Seth
61 views, Comment

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