We review all this as introduction to quite possibly the most exciting online development to roll across our virtual desktops in quite some time. Aaron Sorkin, or someone who has gone to a great deal of effort to convince others he is Aaron Sorkin, has emerged from his self-imposed, blogophobic exile to openly embrace the social networking phenomenon known as Facebook. From his introductory letter entitled, Aaron Sorkin & The Facebook Movie:

Welcome. I'm Aaron Sorkin. I understand there are a few other people using Facebook pages under my name—which I find more flattering than creepy—but this is me. I don't know how I can prove that but feel free to test me.

I've just agreed to write a movie for Sony and producer Scott Rudin about Mark Zuckerberg, Eduardo Saverin and Dustin Moskovitz—three sophmores at Harvard who, in order to meet girls, invented Facebook. I figured a good first step in my preparation would be finding out what Facebook is, so I've started this page. (Actually it was started by my researcher, Ian Reichbach, because my grandmother has more Internet savvy than I do and she's been dead for 33 years.)

The thoughtful contributions to The Wall alone are enough to wipe away the traumatic memories of that angry, faceless Defaker mob. Facebook Sorkin dutifully responds to every comment, along the way reuniting with old acquaintances ("Michael—You did a lot more than fetch pizza and of course I remember you,") and lending fascinating insights into his ambivalence about the very medium he'll elevate with crackling trademark dialogue into a vehicle that could go on to win Justin Long and Joseph Gordon-Levitt their first Oscars. He writes: "[A]s far as the Internet making us meaner, it does remove a natural censor that we have that commands us to treat people with common respect. An exception apparently are the people posting on this board, whose intelligence, humility and wit are extremely frustrating in that they're disproving my point and that drives me nuts." We really hope this is Sorky. If it's just an impostor, then the Internet has gone and proven his point all over again—not to mention the fact that A Few Good Pokes won't be in theaters anywhere come Christmas 2010.

• Aaron Sorkin & The Facebook Movie [Facebook]

"I don't know how to emphasize this enough that I'm not disappointed or upset with anyone but myself," Sorkin says over lunch at Nate 'n Al's last week where he is repeatedly interrupted by fans wanting to share how much they enjoyed his work.

"There are only two possible reasons for 'Studio 60' failing — it was either my fault or it was just one of those things. On some shows, you can make mistakes and still survive. But with this one, I made too many mistakes for it to survive." [...]

Every failure in Hollywood gets blamed on something else, from movies that bomb (freak snowstorms back East) to anemic album sales (illegal file sharing by snotty college kids). But Sorkin sees a more insidious villain — a triviality-obsessed media no longer willing to separate gossip and idle speculation from reporting and criticism. "When all everyone does is try to draw personal connections between your characters and real people, you're not really watching a play or a TV show anymore," he says. "It becomes a tabloid experience."

This gossipy guesswork pervaded much of the media coverage of "Studio 60," in which much was made of the supposed similarities between "Studio 60" characters and real-life counterparts. It wasn't an entirely unreasonable assumption, since one of the show's lead characters — a TV writer with a history of drug problems — was written by Sorkin, a TV writer with a history of drug problems.

What clearly bugs Sorkin is that for whatever matrix of reasons — his messy private life, his brash willingness to publicly trash Internet bloggers or just his star power as a writer — he became a target for all sorts of gossipy buzz that doesn't haunt similarly successful writers like "Everybody Loves Raymond's" Phil Rosenthal or "Curb Your Enthusiasm's" Larry David.

"I can flat-out guarantee that Phil was writing autobiographical stories in his show, but for some reason people just aren't caught up in the gossip of his life," Sorkin says. "It's just unhealthy. 'After the Fall' is a better play if you don't know that Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe were married. It doesn't enhance the experience of seeing the play if you're being a detective, always looking for clues. You only see the writing through a filter that takes you out of the actual story."

Indeed, our own experience of the show was colored by exactly these kinds of unhealthy pursuits, where we became obsessed with sleuthing out alleged parallels between Jordan McDeere and TV exec Jamie Tarses, The Christian One Whose Name We Can Never Remember to Sorkin ex Kristen Chenowith, and Lobster Boy and the psilocybin-induced demonic hallucination who first pitched the idea of Studio 60 to Sorkin during a particularly vivid "development session." Now that our prejudices have been exposed, we promise to approach the celebrated writer's next project with a mind uncluttered by such peripheral obsessions.

• THE BIG PICTURE: Sorkin takes the blame for 'Studio 60' [LAT]
• Previously: The Complete Guide To The Series Finale Of 'Studio 60' [Defamer]

· Matt, for the moment free of his lingering addiction to feel-good pills, reunited romantically with the religious one whose name always escapes us. Marion, we think. Esther? Eh, whatever, at least we remember her character type.

· Jordan survived the complications from her pregnancy, drew up adoption papers allowing new fiance Danny to legally become the father of her newborn daughter, and for one blissful moment, finally stopped worrying about the ratings.

· Jack from Wings and D.L. Hughley found Matt's well-hidden bottle of emergency Scotch, then spent a tense night getting wasted and reliving the corporate censorship issues of NBS's wrongheaded, spineless past. No high fives or one-armed hugs were exchanged, though it was apparent both men would have liked that.

· Just as Tom Jeter was giving the OK to send millions of dollars to mercenaries to save his brother from his terrorist captors in Afghanistan, God sent a Blackhawk helicopter to rescue the hostages from certain death and Tom from choosing the selfish side of a morally compromising dilemma. And once Tom concluded a tearful cellphone chat with his liberated sibling, the Gruff Military Guy with the Heart of Gold informed the entire Studio 60 gang that the President had ordered an immediate and total withdrawal of all troops from Iraq, an announcement that kicked off the most jubilent wrap party in the show's long history.

· The ferret ate the snake, the coyote ate the ferret, and, even though there was no explanation of how it came to roam the crawlspace underneath the studio, a mountain lion ate the coyote.

· Lobster Boy and Peripheral Vision Man were married by just-ordained minister Fake Nic Cage in a quiet ceremony in Matt's office.

· Because he was never real to begin with, Tim Batale did not make an appearance; however, it will eventually be revealed in the DVD collection that if one freeze-frames Matt looking out from his office window during the marriage ceremony, his reflection in the glass is briefly swapped with Tim's.

· The blacklisted, Alzheimer's-afflicted writer got both his memory and his career back, penning a sketch savagely satirizing the mistakes of HUAC-era Hollywood.

· Perched in a catwalk high above the soundstage, Sting quietly strummed a lute, but everyone was far too busy enjoying their happy endings to even notice.

[Image: An ad taken about by fans in yesterday's THR]

• 'Dance' performs for Fox; 'Studio 60' aids NBC [THR]

· Add "corpses" to the list of fun things the Sunset Tan people will bronze, right below "grade-school girls with crazy moms." (And in an amusing side note, our tipster found this clip while searching YouTube for clips of "hot blondes" doing stuff.)
· Mayor Villaraigosa is separating from his wife. Our knee-jerk reaction to this news is the blame this photo of him posing with Paris Hilton.
·A South Park promo puts an unnamed network's "balls policy" to the test.
·Brad Whitford has made peace with Studio 60's demise. We just hope that Tom Jeter's brother gets out of Iraq alive.

A reporter asks Reilly (paraphrased): "Since you're committed to renewing good shows even if they have low ratings, does that mean 'Studio 60' wasn't a good show?"

Nearly everybody — including NBC Universal President-CEO Jeff Zucker — finds this question funny. Reilly replies that "Studio 60" received "a mixed response," even within NBC. Showrunner Aaron Sorkin "was doing the show he wanted to do. ... It just kind of felt like that show had kind of run its course. ... I have no regrets."

To further demonstrate that the network is dedicated to the rising stars of its future and not to dwelling on the low-rated misfires of the past, with a sharp clap of his hands Reilly summoned his Bionic Woman (9 p.m. Wednesday nights) to the stage, who then delighted all ad sales personnel in attendance by ceremonially suffocating Studio 60 breakout character Lobster Boy with a pillow emblazoned with NBC's proud peacock logo, a display that drove Sorkin—who'd shown up on the crazy hope he'd get a surprise second season order—from the venue in tears.

• Reilly Deconstructs Schedule [TV Week Blog]
• Previously: NBC Hoping Your Appetite For Its High-Quality Hits Is Insatiable [Defamer]

"We've got the class and next season we're ready to add some mass, with new shows that build on the creative accomplishments of last season and are as broad as they are good. Combine the energy of these new programs with the bulked-up strength of our existing NBC hits and you've got a lineup that's poised to take us to the next level."

Unfortunately, Reilly's "Class + Mass=Keep My Job For Another Season" formula (an earlier incarnation, "You like our high-quality hits? Then choke on them, bitches," was rewritten so as not to offend conservative advertisers) left no room for a fresh sitcom on the Fall schedule; their first new comedy offering, The IT Crowd (think The Office, but with computer nerds) won't arrive until midseason. And, in news that will certainly plunge its legion of dedicated, affluent, and upscale fans into self-mutilating depths of despair, it appears that not even the maverick, class-craving Reilly could find a place in primetime for Studio 60, officially ending Aaron Sorkin's failed tenure as the network's Nielsen Messiah.

The full NBC schedule (via THR) follows:

MONDAY
8-9 p.m.: "Deal or No Deal"
9-10 p.m.: "Heroes"
10-11 p.m.: "JOURNEYMAN"

TUESDAY
8-9 p.m.: "The Biggest Loser"
9-10 p.m.: "CHUCK"
10-11 p.m.: "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"

WEDNESDAY
8-9 p.m.: "Deal or No Deal"
9-10 p.m.: "BIONIC WOMAN"
10-11 p.m.: "LIFE"

THURSDAY
8-8:30 p.m.: "My Name Is Earl"
8:30-9 p.m.: "30 Rock"
9-9:30 p.m.: "The Office"
9:30-10 p.m.: "Scrubs"
10-11 p.m.: "ER"

FRIDAY
8-9 p.m.: "1 vs 100"/"THE SINGING BEE"
9-10 p.m.: "Las Vegas"
10-11 p.m.: "Friday Night Lights"

SATURDAY
8-9 p.m.: "Dateline NBC"
9-11 p.m.: Drama Series Encores

SUNDAY (Fall 2007)
7-8 p.m.: "Football Night in America"
8-11 p.m.: "NBC Sunday Night Football"

• NBC announces schedule, shows [Variety]
• No new comedies on the peacock's fall schedule [THR]

• 'Studio 60' Returning in May [Zap2it.com]
• Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip [NBC.com]
• Previously: 'Studio 60' CancellationWatch: Sorkin And Company Quietly Playing Out The String [Defamer]

• Conan - Studio 6A [YouTube via BWE/TV Tattle]

"From the beginning, '30 Rock' has proven to be the kind of quality comedy that doesn't come around very often, and we are very pleased to have this show back for a second season," NBC Entertaimment prexy Kevin Reilly said. "We expect it to continue to build its increasingly loyal audience and become another of NBC's classic comedy series."

When asked the inevitable question about Studio 60, a visibly uncomfortable Reilly momentarily fidgeted with his tie before offering, "You know what? They really had some moments, like the time Matthew Perry hallucinated that staff writer with the anagram name, or when they sent the coyote to eat the ferret—a ferret, not a mink, right?—they sent to eat the snake that got loose under the stage. We expect the show to become another cherished part of our home entertainment division's DVD catalog of quality dramas that never really found that loyal audience we spent untold millions of dollars trying to build."

• NBC renews '30 Rock' [Variety]
• Previously: Tina Fey Says Thing About Aaron Sorkin That We Are More Than Happy To Blow Out Of Proportion [Defamer]

A rumor had been going around (imagine that — a rumor on the Internet!) that after having gone back into production earlier this month on episodes 17 through 22, the show had ceased production and the plug finally, irrevocably pulled. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! (Imagine it — an inaccurate rumor on the Internet!) I got the scoop this very afternoon from Lesley Cerwin, the NBC publicist assigned to the show, and she confirmed that production on episode 19 was scheduled to be completed today and work on episode 20 commenced on Thursday.

So yes, it appears that at least the full season complement of shows will make it into the can for Aaron Sorkin's noble but low-rated hour. But all of you "Save Studio 60" cyber sites and blogs, take note: it is now highly unlikely the show will be brought back this spring. The more probable scenario (strictly my conjecture): it will come back in originals over the summer as something of a "bell lap" final farewell.

Don't hold your breath for the show's second-season renewal. That probably ain't happening. Networks typically reserve that stuff for shows that don't bleed millions of dollars, being as they are in the profit business and all.

While even the most blissfully delusional Aaronite dared not dream of a second season, dramatically announced at the upcoming network upfronts by the embattled showrunner and NBC president Kevin Reilly as they cackle over an enormous pile of money they'd just ceremonially set on fire to demonstrate their commitment to art over responsible business, the news that fresh episodes might find their way onto the summer schedule is welcome: Sorkin's important message about how the once-proud medium of television is now merely a receptacle into which visionless programming execs regularly move their bowels will never be more poignant than when his show is sandwiched between The Real Wedding Crashers and the highly anticipated Victoria Beckham Shops for Shoes—neither of which, tragically, will ever have the opportunity to cement its place in popular culture by being ineptly satirized in a half-seen sketch on Studio.

• Every Time I Use 'Canceled' and 'Studio 60' in a Headline, My Hits on Google Head Off the Charts! [Past Deadline]
• Previously: 'Studio 60' CancellationWatch Renewed: Early Yanking Can't Be A Good Sign [Defamer]

· Imagine's Brian Grazer will superproduce an utterly unneeded "American version" of the film Cache for Universal, from which partner Ron Howard will drain all nuance by "amp[ing] up the suspense and consequences" should he choose to direct it. [Variety]
· Satellite Radio Mergermania! Sirius and XM announce their intentions to combine into a single corporate entity—if the FCC approves a move that would result in the unholy pairing of Oprah Winfrey and Howard Stern on a single provider. [THR]
· In a move that should surprise only those reading the trades for the first time today after waking up from a three-year coma, Lionsgate and Twisted Pictures are going ahead with a fourth Saw movie, timed for a Halloween weekend release later this year. [Variety]
· Last night's episode of Heroes remained "scorching hot" in the 18-49 demographic; somewhat less engulfed in Nielsen's flame is Studio 60, which had its second consecutive week of record-low ratings. (We TiVo'd S60, so we're unable to make a reference to how Matt's battle with his pill-popping, hallucinated alter ego turned out. We regret being part of Sorkin's time-shifting problem.) [THR]
· Ghost Rider's total take over the three-day weekend is $51.5 million; that's the all-time Presidents Day weekend record, if you're into relatively meaningless box office statistics. [Variety]

Decision to yank "Studio 60" a week early will no doubt raise a new round of questions about the show's long-term fate. Insiders said the net still hasn't decided what to do with the show and that the sked change is mostly about giving "Donnellys" the best possible launch.

We take absolutely no joy in this development, as we've found showrunner Aaaron Sorkin's recent, if tragically low-rated, turn towards Shayamalanesque storytelling techniques (we spent a good portion of the second act of Monday night's show scrawling the letters in "Tim Batale" on a window with a grease pencil until a lucky combination of the letters finally unlocked the shocking secret of Matt Albie's hallucinated, pill-popping alter-ego) a refreshing shift from the kind of coyote-chasing-ferret-chasing-snake frivolity that has hampered recent episodes of the drama. Besides, the last time S60 seemed to be on shaky footing, it was rewarded with a full-season pick-up, so we're inclined to believe that its sure-to-be-brief hiatus from the airwaves has something to do with ongoing negotiations between Sorkin and NBC president Kevin Reilly to work out a deal not only to keep the series on the air for three additional seasons, but to quickly spin off some popular recurring characters, like Militant Fruit Of The Loom Guy and Alcoholic Musical Prodigy Daughter Of A Stern Asian Businessman Who Pretends Not To Speak English To Advance An Already Convoluted Plot, into their own pilots.

• Earlier tack for 'Black' [Variety]
• Previously: Tina Fey Says Thing About Aaron Sorkin That We Are More Than Happy To Blow Out Of Proportion [Defamer]

Tina Fey dissed archfoe Aaron Sorkin Sunday night at the Writers Guild Awards. The "30 Rock" star competes with Sorkin's "Studio 60": Both take place behind the scenes at a show like "Saturday Night Live," where Fey was head writer. Wiggling around the Hudson Theatre stage in a party frock with plunging decolletage, Fey told the crowd, "I hear Aaron Sorkin is in Los Angeles wearing the same dress - but longer, and not funny."

Once one gets the initial Oh, snap!-style sting of the remark, her joke seems patently unfair, as Sorkin's show is intentionally unfunny; in constructing a drama, the celebrated writer's mission is to take on weightier issues affecting sketch comedy shows, like the unexpected budget overruns that can cripple a production when a procession of antagonistic natural predators are lost beneath a busy sound stage. Still, the gibe undoubtedly wounds, as Sorkin had famously deflected the brickbats of amateurish, unemployed critics by citing the silence of accomplished professionals like Fey, who presumably were enjoying his dramatic deconstruction of the genre. Now that Fey has unexpectedly betrayed him, he'll have to hope that remaining, assumed "real comedy writer" supporters Stephen Colbert and SNL's Seth Myers will pass on any opportunities to take gratuitous pokes at him in front of an audience of the reliably employed peers whose opinions he cherishes.

• Side dish (sixth item) [Rush & Molloy]
• Previously: 'LAT' Gives Equal Time To Pro-Sorkin Voices [Defamer]

Dan Hindmarch is a 32-year-old TV writer who has written for "The Unit." On Dec. 5 Hindmarch posted a blog on his MySpace page titled "In Defense of Studio 60." In an e-mail interview Hindmarch said he routinely has to defend the show from his friends who work in television comedy. "Similarly 'House' and 'Grey's Anatomy' must be defended from people who work in medicine," he wrote. "It should be understood: 'Studio 60' does not represent television reality any more than 'The West Wing' represented political (reality)." [...]

In the blog Hindmarch applauds Sorkin for deeming the TV writing profession worthy of television depiction, and for taking risks with subject matter. "If 'Studio 60' goes down, it means that everybody on TV's gotta be doctors or lawyers or cops or related, and that's a slight to the medium of television," he wrote. "... It means that writing should be procedural, that experimentation is verboten, and that failure will be predetermined by focus groups." These things, he wrote, "cannot stand."

We certainly hope that Sorkin finds the professional resumés of his newly discovered defenders adequate, allowing all parties involved to move on from this regrettable episode, and freeing the celebrated, peer-beloved writer from taking yet another swipe at the Times by encouraging Sorkin-endorsed "real comedy writers" Stephen Colbert, Tina Fey, and Seth Meyers to take out a full page ad in Variety offering their presumably glowing endorsements of his show.

• Some people do like Aaron Sorkin's 'Studio 60!' [LAT]
• Previously: Aaron Sorkin Takes On The L.A. Times, Internets, Unemployed Writers [Defamer]

So off he went, noting, not a little angrily, that the LA Times had in the space of four months run three separate articles about his show, all of them stating, re-stating and then re-re-stating the idea that some people on the Internet aren't fond of "Studio 60." The most recent story, he continued, also claimed that comedy writers don't like the show, either. And though it quoted a few members of a local comedy troupe called Employees of the Month, it failed to mention that the show had recently scored two nominations for Writer's Guild awards. Those are working, professional writers, Sorkin seethed. "And the writers she quoted were all, you'll notice, unemployed."

This was great. Sorkin was totally throwing down. And he wasn't finished!

"This was nonsense," he went on. "The Los Angeles Times should be ashamed of itself!"

Sing it, brother! And he wasn't done! Next Sorkin ridiculed the whole idea that bloggers — many of whom come from parts unknown, bearing grudges, perhaps, and not always a reliable sense of who they are and what they're really after — be taken more seriously in the mainstream media than any random josephine walking down Main Street. "An enormous rise in amateurism," Sorkin said of the blogosphere. "And everyone's voice oughtn't be equal."

While his Employee of the Month critic does, in fact, have a job, Sorkin is right on his larger, more loudly made point: The opinions of the "working, professional" writers who nominated him for those awards should certainly be weighed more heavily than those of the Starbucks-haunting know-nothings not talented enough to maintain an employment level that would qualify them for full WGA health benefits; after all, anybody in this town with something worthwhile to say is already running his own TV series or doing uncredited punch-up on a Will Ferrell movie. And let's not get started on the bloggers, whom the internets hand a megaphone with which to shout their uninformed, poorly thought through feelings about Sorkin's work in between incremental updates about their cat's harrowing battle with feline diabetes, yelps too often picked up by the lazy, indiscriminate mainstream media. As we're currently stitching into a pillow to remind ourselves about the deleterious effects of unchecked amateurism on civilized discourse, "Everyone's voice oughtn't be equal."

• Field Notes: Part le deux [OregonLive.com]

We missed this pretty dead-on Mad TV parody of Studio 60 back when it originally aired in November, due largely to the fact that we had no idea that Mad TV is still on the air. (Usually when we say that, we're just being wiseasses, but we genuinely thought the show was canceled two years ago—hey, even their official website thinks they only went 10 seasons.) But now, thanks to the power of YouTube, we're offered a peek into a parallel television universe, where the Sorkinesque patter crackles rather than grates ("Dammit! Can anyone here be a fluffer, is a fluffer, *know* a fluffer?!"), where we fully believe in the talent of Savannah, their featured performer, and where the stakes are appropriately high—we find ourselves not only caring deeply about our tumescent boys at King's Air Force Base in Bellevue, Illinois, but believing that if their rocks are not gotten off, national security would, in fact, be compromised. Enjoy your all too brief trip to Studio 69 on Van Nuys Boulevard.

• Mad TV-Studio 69 On Van Nuys Boulevard [YouTube]

We hate to return so quickly to the Golden Globes nominations, but since we made a point of spotlighting Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip creator Aaron Sorkin's hope that a Globe nod would elevate his Little Serious-Minded Sketch Comedy Drama That Could from a "critical hit" into the type of hit that people actually watch, we thought it relevant to note that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association decided not to sprinkle its magic Nielsen dust on the series, granting a single nomination recognizing Sarah Paulson's performance as the proud Krazee Khristian who so glows with talent that her cast members can only gaze upon her through welding masks. We trust that Sorkin will handle this disappointment maturely, refraining from the petty impulse to have Matthew Perry and Brad Whitford hold forth at length about the meaninglessness of awards shows on a future episode, lambasting the "back-slapping, junket-whore buffet monkeys who wouldn't know quality programming if a DVD screener lodged itself next to the empty heads lodged in their asses" for abandoning his show in its hour of need.

[Photo; Getty Images]

• Previously: Will The Golden Globes Pretend To Like 'Studio 60'? [Defamer]

"I try not to think too much about the stuff that's out of my control, like awards," Sorkin says. "But that said, it meant a lot to me and everyone connected to 'West Wing' to get that recognition from the Hollywood Foreign Press right out of the gate. We were by no means a slam-dunk hit at that point, and it helped do for us what that organization historically seems to do best: turn critical hits into popular hits."

A Golden Globes win for the ratings-deficient Hollywood insider drama—whose core audience seems to be composed primarily of Hollywood insiders watching to see if it could possibly get any more not-insidery than it did the week before—might be precisely the kind of confidence builder Sorkin needs to get his wobbly new show on its feet: If not Best Drama (because, let's face it, the HFPA may be junket whores, but they aren't stupid), then perhaps at least a nod to Matthew Perry, whose trophy might read Best Actor in a Television Drama, but who we all know will really be winning for Outstanding Ability By An Actor To Deliver Straightfaced Dialogue About How In Love He Is With An Adorable, Abundantly Talented Romantic Foil Who Is Neither Adorable Nor Abundantly Talented.

• Bold new TV shows could fare well at Golden Globes [Reuters/THR]

Those affluent and upscale enough to still be watching Studio 60 will undoubtedly recognize the name of Pahrump, Nevada as that of the sleepy desert town where the series' most recent pair of episodes was memorably set, a multi-part farce about the ostensibly hilarious collision of snobbish Hollywood folk and the locals who take glee in using their their quirky, autocratic justice system to torture the fancy-panted interlopers. Reuters reports that the real-life community is up to the same kind of liberal-upsetting activities that one might have expected from John Goodman's seemingly good ol' boy judge:

A Nevada town passed a law this week making it illegal to fly a foreign nation's flag by itself, the latest swipe by a U.S. community at illegal immigrants.

The town council of Pahrump, which lies in the Mojave Desert west of Las Vegas, voted 3-2 on Tuesday to make flying any foreign flag above the U.S. flag or alone an offense punishable by a $50 fine and 30 hours' community service.

All of the illegal alien protesters are waving Mexican flags, and we just got tired of it," town board clerk Paul Willis told Reuters in a telephone interview.

"This is the United States, and the Stars and Stripes should fly supreme," he added.

Idealistic series creator Aaron Sorkin must be dismayed to discover that Pahrump has backslid so quickly after he redeemed his fictionalized version of the town by having his judge set free the blue-state aliens in his captivity, whom he admonished with the command (delivered immediately after the words PAY ATTENTION: STATEMENT OF THEME AHEAD briefly flashed on the screen), "Stop thinking that everybody between Fifth Avenue and the Hollywood Bowl just stepped barefoot out of the cast of Hee-Haw. Tell your friends about it." But we're sure that Sorkin's faith in the power of TV dramas about sketch comedy shows to change the world won't be shaken by this setback, and a future episode will feature Matt Albie and a previously unseen staff writer of Mexican descent vigorously debating immigration issues while punching up a bit called "Bowling for Green Cards."

• US town bars foreign flags in swipe at immigrants [Reuters]

NBC GIVES FULL SEASON ORDER TO CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED NEW DRAMA 'STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP' FOR 2006-07

BURBANK - November 9, 2006 - NBC has renewed its critically acclaimed, first-year drama "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" (Mondays, 10-11 p.m. ET) for the remainder of the 2006-07 season, it was announced today by Kevin Reilly, President, NBC Entertainment.

"I am pleased to show our support for this outstanding and ambitious effort from executive producers Aaron Sorkin and Thomas Schlamme," said Reilly. "From the start, they have delivered the superb show that we wanted. The critical support has been rock-solid and there is a passionate core audience. We can't wait for what's going to come in the remainder of the season."

We suppose that those really committed to the idea of the series' failure can look at this as nine additional weekly opportunities (more, actually, if you count the still-unaired episodes in the orignal order) to speculate about how long the show can go on without drawing an audience past its passionate, "affluent and upscale" core. But we don't recommend you partake in this self-destructive exercise, for such negativity is almost certain to drive you to the pipe.

• 'Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip' Gets Full-Season Pick-Up (Just Like I Told You 2 Days Ago!) [Past Deadline]
• Previously: 'Studio 60' CancellationWatch: NBC Ready To Pick Up Either Nine Or Zero New Episodes [Defamer]

While not yet official, key industry sources are confident that NBC will, in the next few days, announce the show's pickup for its back nine episodes (giving it a full season complement of 22) in the wake of two consecutive Mondays of upwardly-trending numbers.

I chatted this morning with its producer and chief writer Aaron Sorkin, who thought that word of the show's fate could come as soon as today but likely not until week's end or — at latest — next Tuesday. It's thought that NBC Entertainment President Kevin Reilly was desperately searching for an excuse to renew "Studio 60" — any sign of life that would indicate even modest traction — and unofficial word is the show's performance over the past two Mondays has supplied it.

"I'd be very surprised at this point if the show weren't picked up (for the full season) in the next couple of days," noted one source who requested anonymity.

The current whispers we're hearing, however, insist that the cost-slashing NBC 2.0 and hit-starved president Kevin Reilly are desperately searching for a way to negotiate themselves out from under Sorkin's contract and shut down the production as quickly as they can cancel craft service. We suppose we won't know which set of rumor-mongerers are correct until the network is good and ready to place either a pick-up or cancellation announcement in the trades, but we're nonetheless going to gird ourselves for the eventuality that we may never get a chance to say a proper goodbye to Lobster Boy, Fundamentalist Girl, and the rest of the gang.

• Previously: 'Studio 60' CancellationWatch: Plug-Pulling 'Imminent'? [Defamer]

DENTAL HYGIENIST: I just need to ...

AARON SORKIN: You know what's weird about Poulenc? It sounds like you're pronouncing him wrong, even when you're doing it right. It's the "ank" sound, as in "Paul Anka." I guess you've never heard of Paul Anka, either.

DENTAL HYGIENIST: Can you open wide for me, please?

AARON SORKIN: You would think it would be the "ankh" sound, as in the ankh, the Egyptian symbol of life. But it's not. It's the Paul Anka sound. You know, it would help if you said certain words back to me, just random sentences that use the same key words I'm using.

DENTAL HYGIENIST: I have a lot of other patients who need their teeth cleaned, so ...

AARON SORKIN: Like I say, "Les Six," and you say, "Les Shut Up!" Something like that. I don't know. That's just off the top of my head. It doesn't have to make sense. It just has to sound like banter. It has to give a banterlike impression. Hey, that's a good example. I could say, "It just has to sound like banter," and then you shoot back, real quick-like, "Oh, it has to give a banterlike impression." We just say the same words back to one another over and over in different random orders.

The rest of the exchange is here. And if you're still not satisfied, there's always TV writer Ken Levine's recent conception of what might happen if Sorkin turned his dramatic attention to our national pastime.

• AARON SORKIN VISITS A DENTAL HYGIENIST [McSweeney's]

• Is The CW Imitating "Studio 60"? [The Slug]

Here we go: despite receiving an order for three more episodes on Friday, the Aaron Sorkin NBC drama "Studio 60 on Sunset Strip" is about to be put out of its misery.

Cast members are already confiding in friends that the end is near. It's likely NBC will pull the plug shortly I am told by insiders. [...]

he order of the three extra episodes is considered by insiders to be a contractual move, and not one based on faith that they will ever be made or aired. The all important demo situation didn't help: 'Heroes' had 15 percent of viewers aged 18-49. Studio 60 had 8 percent. The notion that 'Studio 60' is a big draw for NBC among desirables is, sadly, blown on those stats.

These seemingly damning, raw numbers don't reveal just how "affluent and upscale" the show's share of the 18-49 market is; we're sure that the network is selling that eight percent to advertisers as a shadowy, Sorkin-worshipping cabal that controls the wealth of the entire demographic. But according to one of our Southern tipsters, NBC had apparently already sensed that they needed to court a swath of America that their showrunner is willfully ignoring:

Since I am probably the only southern redneck who reads your site, I thought I would share the shameless promotion of Studio 60. [Last] Sunday, Nascar was on NBC. During one of the caution periods, the race commentators started discussing what a great show NBC had in Studio 60. One commentator said it was a great show. Another commentator chimed in that Studio 60 had good acting and good writing. Then the 1st commentator said he was going watch Studio 60, and the other commentator agreed.

The professionalism of NBC's in-race promoters was impressive: neither broke out into laughter while reading the part of the network's script urging their viewers to "tune in to see if the Studio 60 crew is able to punch-up their latest sketch, 'Nascar is Destroying the Intellectual Fiber of America,' before they go live from the Sunset Strip."

• 'Studio 60' Cancellation Imminent [Fox 411]
• Previously: 'Studio 60': Yeah, It's Still Not Looking Good [Defamer]