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As you have probably gathered by now, your Uncle Grambo was fortunate enough to be one of the lucky 250 or so people who got to watch this weekend's episode of SNL (host: Shia LaBeouf, musical guest: My Morning Jacket) from the friendly confines of Studio 8H at Rockefeller Center. A full run-down of the evening follows after the jump.

We arrived in the building around 10:15pm, just about 75 minutes before the show officially commences. As you walk in the lobby of 30 Rock, there are dozens (if not hundreds) of people lined up behind velvet ropes along the walls, many of whom look as if they have spent the majority of the day waiting in line for tickets. Fortunately, thanks to the good graces of the NBC PR department, we were able to walk straight in, save for a short conversation with the keepers of the magical guest list. Let me tell you, it was quite hilarious watching a slew of people approach these staffers and attempt to namedrop their way into the show (our favorite attempt was when one young blonde lass tried to use the "My brother is a lawyer at NBC" line). As we waited our turn to go up the elevators up to Studio 8H, we found ourselves standing next to one Suze Orman, whose teeth are even more blazingly white when you see them up close and personal (little did we know at the time, but SNL MVP Kristen Wiig would do an amazing impression of her later in the show).

Our press escort popped out of the elevator bank at approximately 10:40pm and scooted us upstairs. As you walk from the elevator bank to the studio, you stroll down a long hallway that is lined with framed photographs of the litany of SNL cast members who once populated these very same halls. Seeing the faces of Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Mike Myers, Gilda Radner and Eddie Murphy, you can't help but feel like you are small part of a grand tradition of comedic greatness. As you make your way closer and closer to the stage, you encounter various levels of security. If memory serves, we had to show three different sets of security/PR people along the way. And while we were handed both wristbands and tickets when we walked in, the most important credential we had all evening was, surprisingly, the envelope that the tickets came in. As for why, not sure we'll ever know.

After a few minutes of waiting around (perhaps the ushers were cleaning up the popcorn from the aisles?), we were taken to our seats just after 11pm. We sat in the back row of the studio, which was actually the fourth row of what I'll affectionately call the "upper deck" (meaning, not the swivel chairs you see on the floor while watching the show). We were directly in line with the main stage where Shia LaBeouf would deliver his monologue some forty minutes later.

We sat next to an affable hippie and his son, the elder of whom explained to us that he worked on a number on the "fake commercials" that SNL has shot over the years. But just when I was about to ask him if he was present for the filming of the legendary Schmitt's Gay spot, I noticed that Claire Danes, of all people, was walking down the aisle towards me. She was accompanied by her slight of stature BF, Hugh Dancy, and another friend was not famous. She looked far skinnier than I remembered her from her last on-screen role, Stardust, and her hair looked exceedingly thin. That said, there is no denying that she is straight up gorge. After all, it's not everyday you look Angela Chase right in the eyes.

As my heart rate returned to normal, my attention shifted to the flurry of activity down below our seats on the set. As Lenny Pickett and the Saturday Night Live Band warmed up the crowd with a number of R&B standards, stagehands were running around putting last minute touches on the various set decorations. Occasionally, the venerable Lorne Michaels would pop his head out, look around, and duck back beneath the set (presumably to tweak the skits from the dress rehears performance). With approximately 10 minutes left before showtime, Don Pardo wandered out onto center stage to begin warming the crowd up. He was quickly followed by Jason Sudeikis, who explained the rules of the road to the audience ("Be sure to laugh your asses off!") and cracked a few jokes, all the while wearing orange-accented hi-tops and Kansas Jayhawks basketball shorts.

Then, in a totally unexpected turn of events, Kristen Wiig and Fred Armisen joined the band for a rousing performance of Blondie's "One Way Or Another." Wiig played the part of Deborah Harry amazingly well; not only was her voice crackin', but she had the Harry hip sway down pat. Meanwhile, Fred Armisen turned in a very serviceable Chris Stein impression, shredding on the electric guitar in such an impressive fashion that I almost forgot he used to be a drummer and not a guitarist. As soon as the song wrapped up, the house lights began to dim.

As the stagehands rolled a faux presidential backdrop onto the main stage and turned on a lamp that was sitting next to a formal chair, Amy Poehler emerged dressed as Hillary Clinton for the evening's cold open (I would later learn that the audience at the dress rehearsal saw a different cold open, one that took place at DNC headquarters). As she quickly reviewed the cue cards, Lorne Michaels approached her and knelt down to give her a quick and quiet pep talk. This was my favorite moment of the evening; although Lorne has a bit of a rep for being enigmatic when it comes to his relationships with the cast members, there was something in his body language and the way that he approached Poehler that radiated a very fatherly and caring vibe. It was something you would never see on television, but somehow, it spoke volumes about how close-knit the SNL family truly is.

And from there, the rest of the show was, at least for me, a blur. If I were to note one thing about seeing the show live and in person that you don't see when you watch on TV, it would be how frenetically paced things are on-set. The very second the red light goes off on a camera, crew members are tearing down sets and physically grabbing cast members. In particular, after Shia LaBeouf's monologue, a woman came bounding at him from off-stage and literally TORE the suit coat off his back as she pushed him backstage for a costume change (he appeared as a Doug Henning-esque magician about 45 seconds later in a slightly puzzling "Match Game" spoof). Despite the hectic pace,there was never a moment where the set even approached chaos (controlled or otherwise); rather, all of the on-stage hustle seemed to radiate a thoroughly professional vibe.

It's also worth noting that, despite the frenetic pace, we saw nary a frown or disgruntled look on any of the cast or crew members' faces. Instead, smiles abounded everywhere you looked during the commercial breaks. If the performers were tired or stressed out, they certainly didn't show it.

There was one other interesting factoid from the evening that stood out. In the sketch where Bill Hader plays Vinnie Vedecci, the Italian talk show host with a penchant for smoking multiple cigarettes during the course of his celebrity interviews, one crew member drew the assignment of smoking the cigarettes that he would hand to Bill Hader in-between shots. He seemed to relish this job, as he chain-smoked his way through half of four cigarettes during the course of the sketch. Also, throughout this entire bit, both Fred Armisen and Will Forte sat on the side of the stage, where the camera would occasionally cut to them. As a part of the skit, they were both eating a bowl of spaghetti. Whereas Fred Armisen mostly twirled the spaghetti around with his fork, Will Forte ate almost the entire portion of pasta that was sitting in front of him during the course of the sketch. Looks like someone skipped their dinner!

The skit we chose to bring you above was the last sketch of the evening. Although both Kristen Wiig and Kenan Thompson were the evening's stand-out performers, it was Amy Poehler's performance as a mom who wanted to ensure her children were dressed as "New York Funky" as possible that made us (and the rest of the audience) laugh the hardest.

Then, just as quickly as it began, the 90-minute show came to a close. After watching Shia wish everyone a happy Mother's Day, we walked out into the lobby, where we noticed a VERY gorgeous (and sober looking) Tatum O'Neal holding court with a few friends and cast members. We debated going up to her to say hello, but instead decided to make our way to the elevators. We met up with a few friends who just so happened to be at the taping, too, and headed off into the night, feeling exhilarated after what could only be described as a truly special evening. Regardless of what you think of the show, after witnessing everything that goes down in between skits and commercial breaks up close and in person, there is no denying that the people who put SNL together are some of the hardest working people in television.

Be sure to tune in next week for the Season Finale of the Saturday Night Live's 33rd season. The host is Steve Carell and the musical guest will be Usher.

boomp3.com

A TSA agent drunk on power attempted to place Saturday Night Live performer Andy Samberg into his own private rendition. The security agent mentioned that he wrote a spec script that Samberg would be perfect for and that he also wanted to get Samberg's feedback on some characters he's been developing in his improv classes. Samberg looked around the janitorial closet and said that is pretty illegal, but might make for a "totally sweet" digital short.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

While Fox's Roger Friedman is wildly optimistic about Falllon's upcoming arrival behind Conan's desk, his enthusiasm strikes us as a bit too gushy. As he puts it, "He's the perfect successor to Conan and should have just as big an audience when he takes the reins. Fallon is one of those great underrated performers." True, Fallon was at one time a favorite of ours, partly because he was the cutest cast member at the time, and partly because of his dead-on Barry Gibb impression. But as Tracey Morgan and other cast members infamously said, most of Jimmy's laughs were the result of messing up his lines almost every Saturday night. Understandably, Fox notes that Fallon is "said to be thrilled and ready, if not a little scared." In any case, an official announcement from NBC is reportedly scheduled for May 11th or 12th, when NBC unveils its 2008 schedule to advertisers in New York.

[Photo credit: Wireimage]

• JIMMY FALLON CINCHES CONAN'S JOB [Fox News]

"'Chippendales' was a weird sketch. I always hated it...The joke of it is, basically, 'We can't hire you because you're fat.' There's no comic twist to it. It's just [bleep]ing mean. Chris wanted so much to be liked. As funny as that sketch was...it's one of the things that killed him."

As the NYDN reports, SNL writer Bob Odenkirk called him "totally nuts." But that's the least of it. Former cast member Norm McDonald reveals that after Farley was let go from the show, he felt so low that he'd taken to bringing prostitutes "to dinner and treat them so sweetly. He'd introduce them to you as his girlfriend." Producer Lorne Michaels has repeatedly compared Farley to his predecessor John Belushi, who died at the same age of 33, under remarkably similar circumstances: after going on a drug-infused bender with a strange woman, he was left alone to die after injecting speedballs.

When asked to compare Farley to John Belushi in an interview with TV Guide, Lorne explained:

"John was physical, but he could do remarkable impressions. He could do very deep character work, and I think that he found much more of his talent. Chris, he just didn't get the chance...He perhaps romanticized what he thought was John, the way John lived."

[Photo credit: Getty]

• CHRIS FARLEY'S DARK COMEDY [NYDN]

• Saturday Night Live [NBC]

The Who Wants to Be a Millionaire-ization of The Office will begin with hourlong episodes of the U.S. original in September, followed by a very special post-Super Bowl airing and the premiere of the spin-off. The show will be joined in the fall by the currently titled SNL Thursday Night Live, which plans to steal some of that Daily Show Indecision '08 glow with four politically themed half-hour segments.

Four new series will debut in the fall: Christian Slater drama My Own Worst Enemy, comedy Kath & Kim, Knight Rider and Crusoe. Other new entries include dramas Merlin, The Philanthropist and Kings. Friday Night Lights will return in the winter (Tim Riggins, swoon), along with Life. And thank Marissa Cooper, Josh Schwartz will star competitive with sudden super-producer Rob Thomas with more Chuck.

• Full NBC schedule takes shape [Variety]

COMEDY queen Tina Fey says that while she makes people laugh, political pundit Jon Stewart only makes them uncomfortable.

Fey tells Reader's Digest she prefers it when audience members laugh rather than applaud because, "You can prompt applause with a sign." She added, "My friend Seth Meyers coined the term 'clapter,' which is when you do a political joke and people go, 'Woo-hoo.' It means they sort of approve but didn't really like it that much. You hear a lot of that on [whispers] 'The Daily Show.' "

The ratio of topical jibes delivered weekly on both satirical newscasts, measuring at Weekend Update's 1 to the Daily Show's 1250, could explain the laughter discrepancy. Still, we think Fey is being ever so slightly dishonest in knocking the competition, as she knows better than anyone that Lorne Michaels had studio 8-H outfitted with flashing "WHOO," "BIG WHOO," "SNICKER," "CHUCKLE," "GUFFAW," and "INCONTINENCE" signs midway through Victoria Jackson's second season, ensuring he'd never again have to endure 90 minutes of dead silence response to the parade of not-quite-ready-for-primetime sketches that made it to air.

• TINA RIPS JON [NY Post]

• Saturday Night Live

"Play it again Samantha, I blog to differ!"
"What's your dental damage, Kermit The Blog?"
"Exsqueeze me for writing you a world-class monoblogue!"
"What the blog are you blogging about, Sonic The Hedgeblog?"

While there were a few more blog puns thrown into the mix (including Blog The Bounty Hunter, Captain's Blog and Snoop Bloggy Blog featuring Nate Blog), the monologue closed triumphantly as an off-camera Diablo Cody howled to the audience, "I WAS A STRIPPER!" Well played, Samberg, well played.

BONUS: As long as we've got you, this week's Digital Short was pretty excellent (and we think likely inspired by the Waking Up From Bad Dreams montage from The Oscars last Sunday), take a gander.

• Saturday Night Live [NBC]

The sketch was clearly a direct response to the recent lezzie or lezn't she? buzzings around the Juno star. But was it an actual self-outing? A brash courting of The L-Word casting people? A platonic love letter to a fiercely loyal lesbian power publicist? We know when we're being toyed with, but we'll reserve judgment until we hear Page has taken a sabbatical from her white-hot acting career to tour with Phranc as a backup singer and tambourinist.

• Saturday Night Live

· Great news for all those out-of-work actor friends you've been slightly concerned about since they duct-taped themselves inside their homes to explore the medium of peanut-butter-and-Cap'n Crunch sculpture: TV's hiring again, in a pilot casting frenzy. [THR. THR]
· Phil Collins's 18-year-old daughter Lily Collins has been hired by Nickelodeon to "appear in interstitial programming spots airing throughout the day and night." Or, as her father might put it, "I can see Lil' Collins with Squarepants tonight...Oh lord..." (Wow. That was pretty bad.) [THR]
· SNL's return after a three-month strike hiatus brings that show its highest ratings in two years, with their impressions of presidential hopefuls ranging from bang-on (Mike Huckabee as Mike Huckabee) to the desperately in need of fine-tuning (Fred Armisen's Obama). [THR]

While Shia LaBeouf and Steve Carell are committed for May (to plug Indiana Jones and Get Smart, respectively), all the formerly committed winter guests are no longer available. The biggest loss of all was Amy Winehouse, who was set to appear on the episode right before the strike. However, chances aren't good that she will be rebooked; as Michaels ominously put it, "I don't think anyone can put that back together." As for the writers and how they're handling the pressure, Seth Meyers and his self-professed "wisecrack circle," are apparently in the best shape they've ever been in thanks to the writers strike and all that muscle-building picketing. Oh and "not having money for food."

'SNL' IS READY TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME [NY Times]

"I was pregnant [with daughter Alice] at the time and probably a little moody, but I remember thinking, 'She's a disaster! I gotta prop this lady up and get her on TV,'" Fey dished.

She said Abdul was "disastrous ... in the way she generally appears to be.

"It was an American Idol sketch, and she wanted to change parts. So Amy Poehler had to play her."

A year later, Fey recalled seeing Abdul on a flight.

"We both looked at each other like, 'Do I know that girl?'" she said. "And then we both had that moment of recognition, and she was like, 'uuuggh.' I saw it register on her face that she had had a terrible time with us."

As it turns out, the only usable amount of Abdul would include a brief appearance at the end of an Idol sketch, in which she was called upon to register her displeasure over Poehler's substandard characterization, the versatile Not Ready For Prime Time Player having apparently failed to capture Paula's trademarked stiff-armed clap or the Oxy-and-Stoli-flavored lilt in her voice. Thankfully, Abdul wasn't so disastrous that a nervous Lorne Michaels had to go through with his emergency Plan B—having Horatio Sanz leap off the balcony and tackle her, justifying the ambush as a surprise reunion with plus-sized AI contestant Scott Savol.

• Tina Fey Says Paula Abdul Was 'Awful' As SNL Guest Host [US]

· Steve Guttenberg goes dark, taking on the role of a father whose son goes missing in the middle of a divorce in The Well, a film that should make everyone quickly forget he just went slumming with Jessica Simpson in Major Movie Star. [THR]
·SNL's staff is put on "unpaid hiatus" until the resolution of the strike; in the meantime, the writers and cast who put on Saturday's UCB version of the show are donating the proceeds of that benefit to their laid-off co-workers. [Variety]

• ANDY SAMBERG AND CASS BIRD IN THE MAKEOUT [papermag.com via Gawker]

• SNL - Melissa w/Zach Braff (05/19/07) [YouTube]

Executives aware of the negotiations said NBC had been in talks with Mr. Fallon and his representatives for a deal that would make his television services exclusive to the network. One of those executives, who did not want to be identified because the deal has not yet been signed, said the deal could include a crack at the "Late Night" host role, though it was by no means guaranteed.

We'd caution the comedian to think carefully before signing over his soul's exclusivity to NBC's rainbow-plummaged Beelzebub; he could end up disappointed to learn there will be no show with the words "With Jimmy Fallon" in the title, and instead his option will be exercised by a lesser NBC Universal property, such as delivering live red carpet coverage via satellite to resident Access Hollywood jackass Billy Bush.

• Jimmy Fallon Said to Be in NBC's Late-Night Plans [NY Times]

It's probably been weeks since you've contemplated the possibility of receiving a suitor's engorged penis presented in a festively decorated container, but at last night's Justin Timberlake concert at Madison Square garden, Timberlake and SNL's Andy Samberg, infamous partners in Color Me Badd-inspired romantic overtures, regifted their junk to thousands of boxed-cock-craving fans. This video from CollegeHumor allows you to recreate the heady experience of being present for this first! ever! live performance of "Dick in a Box," complete with the claustrophobia-induced nausea of being continuously jostled by an enthralled, squealing throng of 16-year-old girls.

[Note: If you don't see the clip above, trying clicking the blank space where it looks like there should be a video window.]

• Dick in a Box LIVE [CollegeHumor]

Let it never be said that Jake Gyllenhaal doesn't know where his gay-icon bread is buttered: to kick off his SNL hosting gig this past weekend, the dreamy-eyed triple-threat deftly offered an air-kiss to fans of his legendary cowboy-bottom turn in Brokeback Mountain, then got down to the dirty business of winning back the hearts of any fans that may have been momentarily captured by Jennifer Hudson's moving™ rendition of that Dreamgirls song. Right about now, a half-dozen male Golden Globes nominees are frantically calling their writer friends (sadly, even Borat himself probably can't pull off the gag now, as much as we wanted to see it), begging them for new victory speech bits, knowing that their hilariously off-key thunder has been stolen by last year's most high-profile Globes snubbee. On the bright side, now we probably don't have to see Forest Whitaker whip off a breakaway tuxedo and bound into the audience to lovingly serenade double-nominee Leonardo DiCaprio with a show tune.

• Jake G. "And I Am Telling you..."(1/13/07) [YouTube via Virtual Matter]

In honor of Gerald Ford, who "died peacefully" yesterday in Rancho Mirage, we revisit this Dana Carvey SNL sketch—probably one of our favorites of all time—in which Tom Brokaw is required to tape news promos covering just about every other possible conceivable cause of death for the former President. It even includes one scenario that makes room for the possibility of Brokaw simultaneously coming out of the closet. "What?" the producer responds to his protests. "One day. You wake up. You like men. Gerald Ford dies, and we're screwed!" We know the feeling. We really do.

• 'True gentleman,' ex-President Ford dies at 93 [CNN]
• Gerald Ford Dana Carvey SNL Tom Brokaw [Google Video]

Just five days after SNL's "Dick in a Box" (variously and coyly referred to as "A Special Box," "Special Treat in a Box," and "A Special Christmas Box") debuted on the show and on the YouTubes, the NY Times delivers the inside scoop on how a brave consortium of late-night programming executives, lawyers, and NBC's highest-ranking officers decided to release an uncensored version of the liberally bleeped clip on the internet, allowing fans to remove any lingering doubts that the male sex organs being sneakily proffered to the delighted women in the video may have, in fact, been referred to as "cock(s) in a box," best network decency practices be (cautiously) damned. Reports the Times:

"We were all laughing," said [late-night programming executive Rick] Ludwin, who had been accompanied by a representative from the NBC legal department. And then Mr. Ludwin said he had a change of heart.

"Those people who go on the Internet will not be shocked by this," Mr. Ludwin recalled thinking. "Obviously there are some people who will be offended. Those people are probably unlikely to go searching for it on the Internet. It's just funny."

Still, the material was touchy enough, Mr. Ludwin said, that he sought final approval for the Web version of the video from the highest echelons of NBC, including Kevin Reilly, the president of NBC Entertainment , and Jeff Zucker, chief executive of NBC Universal Television Group.. Both approved the idea, he said. Another executive suggested that a disclaimer be placed before the Web-only version of the video that warned of its explicit content, a proposal that was immediately accepted.

The rest, as they say, is history: Zucker and Reilly approved the clip (which would go on to rack up over 2.5 million views on YouTube), shared an affirming high-five over their mutual, cutting-edge embracing of the internet platform, then briefly mused about "how awesome" it would be to cut holes in some boxes and spend the last few work days before Christmas gifting their privates to various staffer members.

Because we must, here's another opportunity to watch the clip. Good news: After a few days, It still holds up!

• Censored 'SNL' Sketch Jumps Bleepless Onto the Internet [NY Times]
• Previously; 'SNL' Puts Dick In Box In Attempt To Go Viral [Defamer]

This weekend's SNL debuted another digital short, "A Special Box" (think "Lazy Sunday," but with Color Me Badd and dicks in boxes instead of nerds and Narnia matinees) that NBC obviously hopes may inspire the same kind of viral video frenzy that the network enjoyed with last December's hip-hop ode to the simple pleasures of cupcakes and leisurely weekend afternoons, as they're already offering an uncensored version on their website, hoping to render obsolete the liberally bleeped clip originally broadcast on Saturday night that legions of fans have already let loose on the YouTubes. Above, we share the efforts of one resourceful YouTuber to set free NBC's unbleeped, schlong-positive version by streaming it onto a TV set and recording the result with a video camera; enjoy, knowing that we are probably only minutes away from a lame West Coast response to the video, "Cock in a KFC Bucket," courtesy of some publicity-hungry actors from recently canceled sitcoms.

• SNL: A Christmas Box Skit *Uncensored* No Bleeps! [YouTube]
• A Special Box (uncensored) [NBC.com]

NBC is mulling broadcasting Friday night rehearsal sessions of "Saturday Night Live" on the Internet.

It's just one of the many scenarios the digital future could deliver, according to NBC Universal chief digital officer George Kliavkoff, who openly mused about the possibilities Wednesday at the Digital Entertainment Media & Marketing Excellence conference at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza in Los Angeles.

"Sometimes it's a lot more interesting than the show," Kliavkoff joked, referring to the closed-circuit footage of "SNL's" Friday dry runs viewed at NBC headquarters. "It's something we watch on the cameras at 30 Rock."

We hope these are more than just the pie-in-the-sky musings of an NBC interactive executive: Beyond giving us valuable insights into emotional coping mechanisms employed by the show's young cast of performers to help them get through a dud sketch that will earn a smattering of mercy laughs, the "fly on the Studio 8H wall" effect of watching SNL rehearsals will also quickly weed out the able-bodied celebrity guest hosts—who can easily handle last minute dialogue changes for their hilarious, purse-shopping character Porsha—from the ones who panic and retreat into their shells, locking themselves into their dressing room to nervously yank out fistfulls of Barbie hair while chanting into a mirror, "You're still hot."

• "Saturday Night Live" rehearsals may be webcast [Reuters]

Tina said the hosts are usually great, but every couple of years you get a bad one - like Paris Hilton who was a "piece of shit"! Tina didn't hold back on how much she and the cast hated Paris. We transcribed some of her hilarious comments...

· She said Paris had "the hair of Fraggle", and left "nasty wads of Barbie hair on the floor" from her "cheap weave"!

· Tina caught Paris's giant man hands and said they were as long as her forearm.

· Paris actually takes herself seriously and "embraces her stupidity".

· She asked them to write a skit so she could play Jessica Simpson "because I hate her" "she's fat".

· Paris was so uninterested in anyone else the staff had a bet to see if she would ask anyone something personal (like "how are you")

Considering Fey is one of TV's most successful writers, we found her likening of the internationally regarded hotel heiress and fragrance mogul to a "piece of shit" to be somewhat prosaic, and a far cry, for example, from the lyrical heights of the anonymous internet wordsmith who once compared Hilton to a "fart in a mitten." Still, there's something refreshing in knowing that all those intimate asides shared during the show's closing credits aren't always friendly, and that what Rachel Dratch, the repertory's go-to player for prepubescent boy roles, was probably whispering into Hilton's ear under that sleepy saxophone solo was a sentiment along the lines of, "For the tenth time—I know Rachel is a girl's name, you fucking moron. I am a girl."

• Tina Fey on why Paris Hilton sucks [CityRag]

Not that a television show trying to augment its audience's squeals of applause-sign-prompted delight with piped-in, "sweetened" sound is anything new, but the What I'm Watching blog noticed that this weekend's East Coast feed of SNL— i.e., the live one you don't expect them to tamper with—featured a weird moment of obviously canned applause lingering after the "normal" crowd noise following host Hugh Laurie's introduction finally died down. Whether the initial alteration was by deceitful design or just someone in the audio booth mistakenly touching a button labeled "FAKE APPLAUSE—PRESS ONLY FOR LORNE MICHAELS CAMEOS!", the extra noise was removed from the West Coast feed (watch the "live" version here, and then compare to our professional-quality, TiVo-and-digital-camera reproduction of the Pacific time zone version above), a seeming attempt to keep their West Coast viewers from having their belief in the purity of SNL's live audience response shaken by some stray, tinny sounds of appreciation.

• Canned Applause on SNL? [What I'm Watching]

Sports Night, 4/27/1999 Dana Whitaker (Felicity Huffman): [barges in] You are a sleazy, slimy, adolescent, over-sexed, overpaid blowhole!

Studio 60, ''Cold Open,'' 9/25/2006
Harriet Hayes (Sarah Paulson, pictured): [barges in] You are an adolescent, over-sexed, whoremonger with the sensitivity of a head of cabbage.

In Sorkin's defense, there's only so many ways one can force a contrived confrontation of the sexes, and if the writer had to resort to throwing out a few rounds of insult-covered Yahtzee dice to compose his dialogue ("You are an 'infantile,' 'swollen-headed' 'skirtchaser' with the sensitivity of a 'traveler's phrase book!'"), so be it. Somewhat more disconcerting was the titular cold open of last week's episode, in which the cast within the show delighted the audience within the show (as opposed to the audience outside the show) with an updated rendition of Gilbert and Sullivan's "The Major-General's Song." As PopWatch points out, however, the Kids In The Hall's Mark McKinney was hired on Studio 60 as a story editor, to oversee the series' sketch elements. That's the same McKinney who happened to be an SNL regular in 1995, when David Hyde Pierce performed a musical monologue set to—you guessed it—"The Major-General's Song." And while a few trips back to the creative well are forgivable when a show is in its nascent stages and still finding footing, we'll be truly disappointed if Studio 60 introduces a new sketch character further along into the season named Turkey Chick—a sex-starved half-woman/half-fowl.

• 'Studio 60' and Strangely Familiar Writing [PopWatch]
• David Hyde Pierce's Monologue [SNL Transcripts]

• 'SNL' slimming down [Variety]

Dratch was originally tapped to play Jenna DeCarlo, an actress on "The Girlie Show" — the show-within-a-show on "30 Rock."

But with the focus of "30 Rock" moving away from "The Girlie Show" and more toward the interaction among stars Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan, the show's exec producers decided to scrap Dratch's character.

Instead, Dratch will appear in several episodes in a wide variety of roles. In the "30 Rock" opener, for example, she'll now appear as a cat wrangler (whose felines are needed for a sketch).

"Both Tina and I obviously adore Rachel, and we wanted to find a way in which we could go to her strength," said "SNL" creator Lorne Michaels, who is also an exec producer on "30 Rock." "The way it's been rewritten, it's a much funnier part."

Leave it to legendary smooth-talker Lorne Michaels to sell the demotion, probably precipitated by a test audience comment card reading, "I think I find Debbie Downer too depressing to be on this show all the time, but I dunno. Tell her I hope her cat with AIDS is OK," as an exciting opportunity that frees up more time to go on auditions.

• Inside Move: Dratch latched to multiple 'Rock' roles [Variety]

[*We must recognize that a crack-double may have been used in the sketch.]

• Lindsay Lohan's Ass Collects Kids' Choice Award [Defamer]