· The two-hour season finale of The Biggest Loser earns NBC the runner-up spot on Tuesday, rousing Ben Silverman later that night with the 4 a.m. inspiration for a companion series: The Biggest Gainer will be a gluttonous exploitainment the likes of which the network hasn't seen since Feed The Bears. [Variety]
· Smugly vicious Idol judge Simon Cowell rendered all the more so by his The X Factor winner Leona Lewis's No. 1 position on Billboard—a first for a British artist. Also: Michael Johns lost because he has no personality. And: Randy Jackson has a boner. Further: Paula Abdul is drunk. [Variety]
See Brad Pitt! See Miley Cyrus! See Mariah Carey! Apparently the only thing you can't see at "Idol Gives Back" are last year's accounting records. For the past month, Fox has blasted viewers with constant reminders that last year's American Idol charity show pulled in $76 million. Yet, according to the New York Times, less than half of this money has actually been distributed to the nine charities involved and, "Some $5 million of last year's proceeds and interest remains undistributed."
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What would happen if you made a gorgeous mesh of Larry King, Regis Philbin, Oprah Winfrey, Dick Clark and Rupert Murdoch? Other than having one hell of a botox bill on your hands, you'd have the burgeoning boy wonder that is Ryan Seacrest. After years spent being bullied by the media (for being quasi-femme, for "dating" Teri Hatcher) and Simon Cowell (for being "yappy little chihuahua"), he is now being applauded for his ambitions to become "the Dick Clark, Larry King and Merv Griffin for a new generation." But how did the Chicklet-toothed boy from Atlanta who used to make Casey Kasem videos in his bedroom at the age of 8 manage to (gulp) win us over?
"I've never had any work done. I've had a facial or two because I've got to get that makeup out of my pores. Otherwise, I'll look like Pizza Face."
Latest by bonniegrrl: speaking of Muppets, when is ALF going to take on another talk show? more »
Regular Defamer readers might recall an unusual tip left to us by an alleged maid who had stumbled upon a vial of miracle ball-stench-neutralizing ointment while tidying up around Simon Cowell's home. (The item got quite a bit of traction, particularly from the Nodoro-sponsored Howard Stern Show.) Now, another mildly suspicious e-mail arrived bearing the accompanying Nodoro ad. We can't verify its authenticity, but we can say that the Idol judge has been grumpier than usual this season; perhaps it might have something to do with having developed a tolerance to the genital deodorant's active ingredients.
The revisiting of gladiatorial TV trends championed by '80s-plundering perfect exec storm Ben Silverman has proven to be a non-risk worth taking for NBC. Now, with news that a British edition will be following suit, American Idol sourpuss Simon Cowell has announced plans to produce his own version of the arena bloodsport. While details are still under wraps, industry insiders predict Simon Cowell's Gladiators will veer from the original in several key regards:
· Cowell and his co-judges can emerge from behind their desk at any moment and bludgeon a contestant to death with a Coca Cola-branded baseball bat. More »
Latest by MrRewrite: simon so wants to get it from a guy, but he's too stuck-up to beg for it. So he has to come up with a show where guys touch each other a lot in wrestling gear. haha, it's so sad. more »
While American Idol positions itself as the greatest singing competition in the history of the world—and, let's face it...It is! It really is!—it also performs a crucial secondary service for which it too often goes uncredited: Introducing America to the Small Town Gay .
It's not often that we run tips from maids, but something about this e-mail from a woman who purports to be a cleaning lady temporarily employed at the manse of American Idol's muscle-shirted dream-douser Simon Cowell instantly caught our attention:
I clean the house yesterday and I find la crema of odour genitales Nodoro, at the Simon Cawell house from Americano Idol. He not a nice man, so I was laughing so hard!!! ;P
Record exec/talent scout/television mogul/dedicated Kool cigarette smoker Simon Cowell is denying reports that his tantrum torpedoed an American Idol publicity photo shoot budgeted at $50K. Cowell spoke to Extra in between drags on his minty cancer stick:
"Extra" went straight to the source, and the TV mogul told us he was actually sick.
Can't a burly, muscleshirt-addicted talent-show judge and the co-worker he constantly insinuates is a closeted homosexual enjoy some cocktails in a pool without bloggers gaying up their male-bonding moment with cute Photoshop hearts? Apparently not. [JustJared]
There is perhaps no one better qualified to hold forth on the Britney Spears VMA debacle than American Idol trainwreck evaluator Simon Cowell, who noted that while bigger shorts and a python might have helped her performance, "she stole the show whether you liked it or not." Unlike Dr. Phil, however, he refrained from commenting on his weariness of Spears' genitalia. [Extra]
Panicked that the Emmys were rapidly approaching and they hadn't yet named a host for the awards telecast, Fox has convinced American Idol master of karaoke ceremonies Ryan Seacrest to borrow one of Ellen DeGeneres' tuxedos and assume emceeing duties for Hollywood's Third- Or Fourth-Biggest Night, Depending On How You Feel About The Globes And SAG Awards. While Seacrest's hosting bonafides are certainly beyond question—tens of millions of furiously texting teenage girls can't be wrong—those handling the production remind us why America is so crazy in love with Hollywood's hardest working man and offer a brief tease about the surprises they have in store for TV fans. Reports Var:
"Ryan Seacrest is known and loved by television audiences around the world," Fox alternative entertainment prexy Mike Darnell said. "His work on 'American Idol' is unparalleled in the industry. He's a consummate host of major live broadcast events and a proven talent who always makes it look easy, which makes him the perfect choice for this year's Emmy telecast."
Latest by crankymediaguy:
OK, with this announcement, it is no longer a question of whose dick it is that Ryan Seacrest sucks off on a regular basis to get these jobs but how many he's sucking simultaneously.
"[A] perfect match for some of the more »
It's hard to believe that so soon after American Idol appointed its last karaoke superstar, the fame-making juggernaut is once again winding its way around the country, offering a generation of disenfranchised youth with a song in their heart a slim chance at escaping their dreary, service-sector lives. Such was the case with Dallas auditioner Antoria Gillon, who barreled through her one shot at greatness even after it became clear to judges that the very pregnant hopeful had gone into labor. From the Fox News report:
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· The NFL gets into the movie business, opting to launch their new endeavor with a biopic of Green Bay Packers coaching Vince Lombardi over the more timely, image-rehabilitating comedy Michael Vick's Obedience School. [Variety]
· Didn't it seem inevitable that Simon Cowell would expand his karaoke-based empire into films? He'll produce Star Struck, a Fame-inspired musical project about contestants on an American Idol-like singing competition. [THR]
· Hollywood Out of Ideas, Comic Book Vigilantism Edition: Lionsgate will "overhaul" The Punisher for yet another big-screen adaptation, futilely trying to improve upon the yeoman work turned in by Dolph Lundgren and Thomas Jane in previous film versions. [Variety]
· TV viewers desperate for even the most modest levels of entertainment give Fox a Wednesday night win by tuning in to So You Think You Can Dance and Don't Forget the Lyrics. [THR]
· Not to be outdone by the NFL's showbiz ambitions, AMC and former Laker Rick Fox (he was so good on One Tree Hill! And the hot tub/dildo scene in Dirt!) are developing a series about basketball players. [Variety]
Latest by gwendolyn: I walked out of an Aussie flick called 'Star Struck' back in the 1980's because I could not decipher the dialogue.
This was before I became immersed in BritComs... more »
In the interest of providing some closure for yesterday's controversy over the meaning of American Idol judge Simon Cowell's much-disputed eye-roll, we feel it's our responsibility to spotlight this follow-up clip from last night's broadcast, in which an entire segment was dedicated to exonerating Cowell of all charges of insensitivity levied against him by the sensationalist media. As anyone can clearly see in the pciture-in-picture replay [Ed.note—But where are the synchronized timecodes?] of the incident (the impatient can skip directly to the 2:48 mark), the innocent host was lost in conversation with the fascinating Paula Abdul and thereby unable to offer any outrage-inviting reactions to the contestant Chris Richardson's tribute to the Virgina Tech fallen.
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Latest by Greasy Thumb Guzik:
@Little Mintz Sunshine:
Actually it was Ernst Lubitsch who wrote that line in the original "To Be Or Not To Be".
That's where Jack Benny, playing a Polish Shakespearean actor, impersonating a Polish Nazi sympathizer has Sig Rumann, playing a more »
Famously sympathetic and non-controversial American Idol judge Simon Cowell sought out on-air sparring partner Ryan Seacrest on his radio show this morning to explain an ill-timed eye-roll that some people—we'd never make that leap, of course—may have uncharitably interpreted as an exasperated dismissal of contestant Chris Richardson's expression of sympathy over Monday's horrific Virgina Tech massacre. Cowell claimed to not even have heard the remark to which he was allegedly reacting, so enthralled was he by reliably insightful co-host Paula Abdul's thoughts on Richardson's explanation of his intentional use of the nasally upper registers of his singing voice. We feel it's our responsibility to pass along the above clip of the incident, allowing you to form your own judgments about a controversy threatening to tear apart a grieving Nation.
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Latest by hypebreaker:
Sounds like anger management isn't quite working out for some of our Defamer operatives. Maybe Paula would be willing to share some of her prescription happiness? more »
We realize many of you lead busy and somewhat fulfilling lives, and, despite how much you might have wanted to, that it was simply unrealistic to drop everything in order to attend Madame Tussauds Las Vegas's premiere of their brand new wax likenesses of Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell. This gallery of photos from the event, however, provides the next best thing to being among the first to witness the unveiling of the greatest single paraffin-related endeavor for the American Idol stars since the two celebrated the premiere of their blockbuster show's sixth season by booking themselves into the W's Bliss Spa for a day of full-body depilation and pampering.
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Regular Defamer readers might recall an unusual tip 
