Defamer
The Sun Will Not Come Out Tomorrow
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trade roundup
Clooney Sells Showtime On A Suicide Comedy
· George Clooney's production company Smoke House has set up a pilot at Showtime called The Fall of Bob, a comedy about a guy whose life flashes before his eyes as he jumps off a building. We bet we know how the series finale ends! [Variety]· Vin Diesel VehicleWatch! 20th Century Fox has bought Rip X, a pitch for an action movie in the vein of The Fast and the Furious. [Variety]
· Ready for the next Ugly Betty? Tough! Fox has ordered a pilot based on the hit Argentinian telenovela Lalola, about a "womanizer who is transformed into a woman — and must endure the same kind of abuse he used to dole out." [Variety]
· Laurie Metcalf joins the cast of The CW's Easy Money, and Anne Archer will star on Privileged on the same network. No word yet on what actresses they are looking at for coming-of-age teen drama Gobs and Gobs of Really High Currency. [THR, THR]
· Hilary Duff joins Winona Ryder, Sean Astin, Chevy Chase, and Jon Cryer (definitely a dream cast in some era), for Stay Cool, a "knowing-your-age comedy" from the Polish Brothers. [THR]
The High Life
Jaded Stoner Subarbanites Prove To Be Irresistibly Watchable As 'Weeds' Premiere Sets Ratings Record
What wasn’t there to love about last night’s Season Four premiere of Weeds? Albert Brooks as Andy’s disapproving father calling Nancy “Francie”! Silas finally entering dangerously hot boy territory! The absence of Mary Kate Olsen as the trippy hippie “sexy” guest star! And as THR reports today, we’re not alone. With 1.3 million viewers tuning in to find out Nancy’s fate with the high-level hard drug dealers (so realistically frightening for even a comedy as dark as this one), Mary Louise Parker and her merry marijuana-scented series premiere broke Showtime’s record as the most-viewed season premiere in history, topping Dexter’s second-season debut which lured 1 million. For a taste of the action warranting this kind of attention, see this clip from last night involving Parker’s adorable attempts at child rearing, dead grandmothers discovered by prepubescent boys, and our introduction to the Botwins’ omniscient neighbor named, of course, Rad. More »
Another notable addition to the Diablo Files: Showtime has picked up The United States of Tara, ordering 12 episodes of the Steven Spielberg-produced comedy. If only there were some way to know what Diablo was thinking at this very moment—some live-feed into her brain that updates on the ones. Wait a second—there is! Sadly, however, she hasn't updated her Twitter account since Sunday, leaving us to approximate in 140 characters or less what her thoughts on this exciting development might be: "Salutations, Twit-hos! I'm now a TV show creator! That calls for raping a Krispy Kreme, methinks." [THR]
trade roundup
Kidman Vs. Chenowith: Battle Of The Dustys
· It's the battle of the dueling Dusty Springfield movies! In one corner, weighing in at...not much...is Nicole Kidman, in a Fox 2000 release written by Michael Cunningham. In the other, weighing in at even less, is Universal's own take, with Kristin Chenoweth attached to star. Will this go the way of the two competing Janis Joplin projects—Pink's vs. Renée Zellweger's—that produced nothing? Or is it going to be a Capote/Infamous scenario, with more Springfield biopic options than we really wanted in the first place? [Variety]
· Official reason given for Toni Collette's departure from Untitled Sam Mendes Romcom By Dave Eggers and His Wife: "Scheduling delays." She'll be replaced by Maggie Gyllenhaal. [Variety]
trade roundup
Mel Gibson To Don His Actor's Hat Once More
· Mel Gibson has signed on for his first acting job since Signs and We Were Soldiers back in 2002. In Edge of Darkness, a feature based on a BBC miniseries from the '80s, he'll play "a straitlaced police investigator whose activist daughter is killed, probably by the Jews." [Variety]
· Could one-half of the lusty network coupling responsible for siring struggling, bastard offspring The CW be missing their former identity? Warner Bros. just launched TheWB.com, where you can catch streamed episodes of old programming and newly launched online series. [Variety]
basic cable
Harvey Weinstein Evidently the Default Savior for Showtime
Beyond the boardroom squabbles and oneupsmanship following Paramount's recent break with Showtime, two basic questions remain: Who will actually broadcast the new Paramount Channel? (Answer: Nobody, of course!) And besides its original series like Weeds and Dexter, what will Showtime air once its output deals expire in 2011? Come on — when you think of "corporate rescue," don't you think of Harvey Weinstein? More »
family feuds
Viacom PR Admits 'Public Crapping' May Not Bode Well For New Pay Network
The week that started with Les Moonves and Phillipe Dauman kickboxing in Sumner Redstone's corporate steel cage will apparently end with Dauman retreating to his corner of the Viacom boardroom for medical attention. Or at least that's the impression we glean from today's gloom-and-doom survey of the Great Pay-Cable Cockfight of 2008, during which Paramount broke off from cousin network Showtime after failing to renegotiate an output deal for its titles. On their own now with partners Lionsgate and MGM/UA, even Viacom/Paramount flacks acknowledge finding little comfort in the TV wild:The marketplace reaction to the fourth feevee was predictable: Who needs it?More »
you are really sad and not amazing
Cameron Diaz Finally Finds Her Oscar-Worthy Line: 'Drop That Clitoris'
Have you ever found yourself mindlessly trying on the latest pair of $800 jeans at Fred Segal and suddenly realized, you know what? It must be way hard for all those African girls out there in Africa and The Iraq Such As to even wear jeans like this. Why? As "Cameron Diaz" (flawlessly portrayed by Tracey Ullman) informs us, for the very first time all their genitals are falling off! The suckiest part? "This is the golden age of American blue jeans! It's really sad and amazing." The fictional burp-happy actress' solution, of course, is to star in That Terrible Time Of The Month, in which a gun-toting Diaz burps and farts her way through the jungle to save each and every halfway-severed ladypart from girls named Toko. For more insight, including Bono's method of miming the actual chop and toss, watch our clip after the jump. More »
family feuds
Paramount, Showtime, CBS Spend Weekend Fighting in Grandpa Sumner Redstone's Sandbox of Death
While most of us fled the office to enjoy early spring, Sumner Redstone spent another relaxing weekend watching his corporate children at Viacom gouge each others' eyes out. And this time around he got his money's worth, with Paramount finally breaking free from CBS/Showtime to start its own pay-cable and VOD service with MGM and Lionsgate. It's an untidy, somewhat shocking scenario that we (and seemingly the rest of the Web) can't yet make sense of, but join us after the jump to parse the winners and losers at a glance. More »
we don't need no thought control
Is 'Dexter' Too Dirty For Primetime?
Parenthood groups are always trying to ruin the fun. Just after adorable homocidal freak Dexter made his debut on CBS to triumphant ratings, the Parents Television Council is trying to take the show off the air (or at least back to Showtime, where skeeviness and scandal rules). Despite having some of the funniest accusatory headlines we've seen since "Headless Body In Topless Bar" on their site (NBC is guilty of Airing Nudity and Assaulting Families!), Dexter seems to have pushed their buttons more than any entries on their list of Worst Shows On Television:"What could possibly lead them to determine that a show about a pathological serial killer 'hero' could be appropriate for 14-year old children? The only reason is corporate greed."More »
trade roundup
Oscar Brand Still Good For Something
· The five Best Picture nominees have earned $97 million since they were announced, more than twice what last year's nominees made in the same time period. Expect a two-page trade ad from the Academy touting that sum in 248-pt. font over the words "BIGGEST. OSCAR. BUMP. EVER." [Variety]
· Former Hobbit Dominic Monaghan has been cast in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. He won't be subjected to further brutal spirit-gumming sessions, however, as he doesn't play a mini-Wolverine, but "a mysterious character...who has the ability to manipulate energy and electricity." Aw, we wanted a Wolverinezuki! [Variety]
Leave it to Page Six to out the the players named in yesterday's showdown at Showtime. After revealing who the accused, the accuser, and the birthday boy caught in the middle of the "email [that] is the talk of Hollywood" are, the Sixers even managed to take a stab at their rival, The NY Daily News. Apparently Mr. Untouchable, cast as the villain in the anonymous email, used to work for the Daily News! P6: Perfecting subtlety since 1977. [NY Post]
firings
Showdown at Showtime: The Email That Everyone Is Talking About
Late last night, we received an anonymous email explaining the details behind an ugly incident that recently went down between two Vice Presidents at Showtime, an incident that ended up with one of the two Veeps getting fired. This email was initially distributed to a number of Showtime staffers but quickly made its way to the outside world (Nikki Finke is proclaiming it as being "the talk of Hollywood"). The full tale involves an intimate birthday dinner, an expense account gone wrong, an employee in a position of power known as "Mr. Untouchable" and a whole Valley full of tears. While names have been redacted to protect the (potentially) innocent, that doesn't make the juice any less tasty. Read the sordid tale of the people we'll call Thing 1, Thing 2 and Thing 3 after the jump! More »
Her Rwandan mission of peace still in a holding pattern, reformed God-locator Paris Hilton has been biding her time lately with an appearance at The L Word premiere party. Sporting the dykiest brunette bob wig she could get her hands on at such short notice, she reportedly cozied up all night with star Katherine Moennig, the two downing shots and popping up later at a Hollywood restaurant "holding hands." It was a daring display that some rubyfruit mafia watchers are calling the boldest fake-lesbian-dabbling in pursuit of a part that they've seen in quite some time. [Planet Gossip]
trade round-up
The Return Of Late-Night?
· They aren't done administering the defibrillator to the dead-eyed corpse of late-night TV just yet: Some are buzzing that "several hosts" plan on returning to the air by January 7, making life a little less egg-pelty for Ellen DeGeneres and Carson Daly. [Variety]
· After next week, however, every scripted TV series shooting in LA will have officially gone dark, explaining the eerie, silent calm throughout the city, and the longer, sadder lines at the Coffee Bean. [Variety]
· A new ceremony from The Academy of TV Arts & Sciences "will highlight and demonstrate the good things that TV does." The first lifetime achievement award goes to Fox Alternative Programming guru Mike Darnell, for his "tireless efforts in furthering the cause of people being hooked up to a lie detector and forced to answer whether or not they are still attracted to their spouse on national TV." [Variety]
californication
Red Hot Chili Pepper Sues Showtime For Not Coming Up With Their Own Cool Word That Means Screwing In The Golden State
If you came to Californication without knowing much about the Showtime series, you'd be forgiven if you'd have expected the familiar Red Hot Chili Peppers song "Californication" to play under the show's titles; failing that, you'd think at least some reference to the band's hit 1999 album of the same name might figure into the action or back story. As it turns out, however, no permission from the band was secured by the network or the show's creators, who merely saw in the lexical hybrid a catchy, succinct term covering the shows primary themes of fucking and life in Southern California.
More »
they grow up so fast
Mary-Kate Olsen Ready To Sell her First Dime Bag On 'Weeds'
Even though Showtime's Weeds doesn't lend itself to fun gimmicks like fountains bubbling with the blood of the freshly slaughtered, the series is doing what it can to lure in new subscribers with promotional stunts of its own, like casting a recently decoupled Olsen Twin as a fledgling drug-dealer who believes Jesus has sent her forth to get the world really, really high.
