HOLLYWOOD, 10:16 PM, THU MAY 15 | 29 POSTS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS | tips@defamer.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS
AU
Posts Tagged “

Short Ends

”
short ends

ABC Invites You To Sell Out Your Kid Sister For Cash And Prizes

· OK, we think we can officially say we're excited about a new fall show: That would be Opportunity Knocks on ABC, Ashton Kutcher's contribution to the, "Hey—let's throw a block party game show!" genre. So much to love here, from the kid-sister diary hunt, to the whack-a-pottery challenge, to the identify-your -infant-brother's -screams quiz round. And just think how awesome it will be when they pack up the show and move it to the ghetto! [TV Week]
· Why yes, we do think we've seen this halo-effect used to great success on previous comedy one-sheets. [/Film]
· Jessica Alba radiates the unmistakable, bird-flipping glow of a woman nearing childbirth. [celebslam]
· An anonymous bidder paid $15 million for Takashi Murakami's jizz-vortex manga sculpture: someone who sounded a whooooole lot like Kanye West affecting a matronly British accent. [Gawker]
· Want to kill a few hours? Thighs Wide Shut collected the mother of all Indy ephemera link dumps, including a listing of every person ever really named Indiana Jones. (They were all born in the 19th century.) [thighswideshut.org]
· Stumble along with the ANTM finalists as they attempt to plug CoverGirl's new Westshlicksfritzsprtizer! (Congratulations, Whitney.) [B-Side Blog]

6:46 PM on Thu May 15 2008
By Seth
101 views, 2 comments

Latest by KMorgan: "selling -- your kid sister" + ABC (i.e. Walt Disney) and you're really surprised? more »

short ends

New Jay Mohr Sitcom Funnier Than Tourette's Humor

· Here's your first glimpse at Jay Mohr's new CBS sitcom, Project Gary. Did that kid just say, "Tap it?" OMG! He did! LOL! [TV Week]
· People, for crying out loud, it's a picture of Curious George! It's not like he put "OBAMA in '08" underneath a picture of Chim-Chim from Speed Racer. Now that would have been racist. (And just plain mean.) [Boston Herald]
· It's the America's Next Top Model finale liveblog with the Jezebelers! But don't peek yet, 'cause they are three hours ahead. [Jezebel]
· Woody Allen: "Can I ask you what your favorite commandment is?"
Billy Graham: "Right now, it's Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother."
Woody: "Really? That's my least favorite commandment." [BoingBoing]
· Anne Heche is worth $34,840.93, says Anne Heche. [TMZ]

6:14 PM on Wed May 14 2008
By Seth
2,884 views, 14 comments

Latest by Peteski: @Nicholas Carlson: yes - AND the same Hair Club for Men™ toupée more »

short ends

Living La Vida Lohan

· Get ready for the summer of exploitation on E! If Denise Richards or Dating Nightmares doesn't do it for ya, might we interest you in the White Oprah and her fame-starved daughter Ali? Nothing warms our cockles like the sight of a table full of sycophantic slags toasting a 14-year-old's non-existant career with champagne! [E!]
· What better way to honor Bea Arthur on her birthday than by counting down her 10 best moments? [BWE]
· Videogum is on the hunt for TWMOAT. What's that, you ask? The Worst Movie Of All-Time, natch. [Videogum]
· While the hot Muppet meme of the moment seems to be Sad Kermit singing "Needle In The Hay", we here at Defamer HQ vastly prefer Miss Piggy's tribute to "Fuck The Pain Away." [YouTube via Fimoculous]
· Larry Levine, the recording engineer who helped bring Phil Spector's "Wall Of Sound" to life, passed away at the age of 80. Roll down your windows and play The Ronettes' "Be My Baby" extra loud tonight in his honor. [LAT]

6:00 PM on Tue May 13 2008
By Mark Graham
1,702 views, 8 comments

Latest by CourageousCoward: @Benovite: Or Pat Boone's album of heavy metal covers: [www.amazon.com] more »

short ends

Swinging With Indy

· There are 27 different movies in this Indy-themed swingstravaganza. (And at least one classic Activision Atari 2600 title.) How many can you name? [Black20]
· Dennis Farina was so preoccupied worrying about gels and liquids, he had a total brainfart about the .22 he was carrying through LAX security. [LAT]
· It seems a certain Chace Crawford is getting invited to George Clooney after-parties and mobbed by the Cruises, and Penn Badgley isn't. XOXO, Defamer Girl [NY Daily News]
· Isaiah Washington filed a complaint with SAG over Grey's Anatomy's use of his photo in a newspaper article about his character on last week's episode. [Reuters]
· Hey—unicorns!

8:50 PM on Mon May 12 2008
By Seth
1,049 views, 9 comments

Latest by cinerama: ROTFL. Whomever made the Indy clip has way too much time on their hands. Must be an effects person who's unemployed because new green lights are delayed pending a SAG agreement. more »

short ends

No Country For Old She-Men

· Let's play "What If?" What if...Javier Bardem went a different way with Anton Chigurh, and chose to go the Felicity Huffman-in-Transamerica route? Click play to find out! [Fourth Grade Gladiators]
· Corey Haim is back! And he looks like a lesbian dogwalker. [TMZ]
· Here's the first seven minutes of Speed Racer. As Idolator Maura put it, "Watching this is like watching them set a giant pile of money on fire in slow motion." To which we add: But the flames and sparks are so colorful! [movies.yahoo.com]
· Yeah, we're with Nick Malis: We plan on staying home, and hitting Rainbow Road instead. [Malis In Wonderland]
· After a few hits from the corpse bong! [chron.com]
· And then we're hitting this: [ThingsIDidLastNight.com]

6:12 PM on Thu May 8 2008
By Seth
2,314 views, 4 comments

Latest by Lala11_7: Ohh...that movie clip... I have never seen something so wrong...but feel so right... In my life!!! Brilliant! more »

short ends

Oprah-Led Think Tank Deconstructs Mariah's Quickie-Marriage Logic

· Today, an Oprah you simply cannot afford to miss: Watch as she, Gayle, Kelly Ripa's husband, and some other lady try to reach a consensus over when, exactly, Mariah Carey knew she was going to marry Nick Cannon. We know! We told you! [Oprah]
· Speaking of Mariah—just when it seemed her week couldn't get any better...[BBC]
· Gary Dourdan was officially charged with possession of heroin, cocaine and ecstasy, today. All of which he claims belonged to someone else. [Reuters]
· This just in! Amy Winehouse is out on bail after her recent drug-related arrest. She tried to claim they weren't hers, too, but Scotland Yard said, "No, no, no." LOL! [Guardian]
· Alan Rosenberg: The SAG talks have broken down. The livelihoods of thousands of working actors falls in your hands. So tell us...WHAT WAS MILEY THINKING?! [ca.reuters.com]
· The View is the catfight incubator that just keeps on giving. [Us Magazine]

6:23 PM on Wed May 7 2008
By Seth
3,724 views, 10 comments

Latest by Benovite: I need an animated gif of big ass Oprah doing that wobbly two finger thing. I thought her head was going to explode and she was motioning for the director to cut to another camera. more »

short ends

Glenn Close: Buried Alive!

· You just never know what you're going to get on The Martha Stewart Show. Today: We make our own herb garden kits. And later, Glenn Close recalls the time she was buried alive with her husband! Wait—what? [Martha]
· Good news, everyone! Star Jones is dating again. (Or has a snappy-dressing driver/assistant/bodyguard.) And! Is looking sassy. [Bossip]
· Tina Fey is the most adorable anti-film-piracy figurehead since Lucky and Flo. (And we're not comparing her to a labrador retriever. We just think she's cute.) [ONTD]
· Talk Sex with Sue Johanson is ending its six-year run on Oxygen? But where else are we going to get straight-up advice from someone who resembles our sixth-grade English teacher on the proper use of a double-headed dildo? [AP]
· Photobombing is our new favorite pranktivity. And of all the photobombs collected here, this one of a guy shoving a fat finger up his nose while Wilmer Valderrama tries to look like the man with three hot chicks on his arm is our very favorite. [listoftheday]

6:18 PM on Tue May 6 2008
By Seth
1,510 views, 7 comments

Latest by null: @hughman: Comment on Glenn Close: Buried Alive! You can see the full burial on Glenn's blog here: http://www.fetchdog.com/blogs/livelylicks more »

short ends

'The View' Audience In Critical Condition After Patricia Heaton Devours All Available Oxygen

· We have a solution to the global energy crisis: harness Patricia Heaton's mouth! (We especially like the stormy thought-bubble over Barbara Walter's head reading, "Wrap it up, you long-winded hag." Nice touch!) [The View]
· Were you, like us, expecting Disney Hall to transform into a giant, Iron Man-pulverizing, mechanized beast? Oh well. There's always the sequel. [Curbed LA]
· Finally, we get confirmation of the "Mr. Big Kicks-It" rumor that has been plaguing our dreams for months. The truth is...Mr. Big...definitely doesn't...not...live! Maybe! [USAToday.com]
· And finally: George Clooney rocking a tux the way a tux was meant to be rocked. [Faded Youth Blog]

5:50 PM on Mon May 5 2008
By Seth
7,604 views, 15 comments

Latest by MessyMortal: Well - after dissing Barb's entire career and stepping on Whoppi's line maybe the flailing arm thing is just a desperate attempt to not fall off the couch! more »

short ends

Katie Holmes's Weird Sonogram Issues, And Other Tom & Oprah Highlights

· Still want more OT (Oprah/Tom)? We've compiled the interview's best moments. And yes, he addresses the indoctrination video you watched here. Verdict? Oprah: Asked the tough questions. Tom: Depressed. [Oprah.com]
· Yikes. We'd hate to see what Kanye would have written if EW had given his tour a B-minus. [kanyeuniversecity.com via Idolator]
· Now you can linger over assistant Jonathan's lovingly collaged FRIENDS 4 EVA!!! farewell poster for Jack Donaghy from last night's 30 Rock. [Videogum]
· It's time for accused Uma-stalker Jack "Tee-Hee" Jordan to have his say: He's humiliated! (Now that we think of it, Tee-Hee is the greatest nickname ever. Dibs!) [Reuters]
· "Hey, Gary! Good weekend? What?!" [People]
· The assault charges against Rod Stewart's retarded son have been dropped. [AP]
· Angelyne has the developers of the W Hotel over a barrel. Attagirl! [LAT]

6:10 PM on Fri May 2 2008
By Seth
10,488 views, 11 comments

Latest by HappyBlues: So let's see here... It would appear as though Oprah has absolved Tom. Does that make anyone else nervous as to the deity she kneels to? more »

short ends

If You Work With Robert Downey Jr., Prepare To Duck And Rewrite

· Forgive us for being a couple days behind on Robert Downey Jr.'s Late Show appearance, but we were so excited that someone has finally found way to stop making bad movies, we simply had to share it with you: Simply start every shooting day by balling up the piece-of-shit script handed to you by your director, whipping it at the wall, and having them start from scratch. [Late Show]
· Mariah Carey, 39, has married Drumline star Nick Cannon, 27, at her home in the Bahamas. Yes, she's that chick. [Page Six]
· Phew! Reichen takes back all of the "shady sack of beyond gross lying shit" talk and Bitter Dating Tips for Hollywood from his MySpace page. He was just having a bad day! :P [Pink Is The New Blog]
· Here's a free copy of the new Coldplay single. We're getting a slutty Gwyneth vibe from it. [coldplay.com]
· Wonkette remembers D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Paltry, found dead today, by purchasing her a seat to the stars. [Wonkette]

6:10 PM on Thu May 1 2008
By Seth
5,254 views, 13 comments

Latest by MessyMortal: If he knows so much more than the actual writers, why hasn't he written a hit movie yet? Or is he planning on taking credit for writing this one? During this enitre interview on Letterman his demeanor was arrogant, his speech more »

short ends

More Trailer Leakage: Indy's Back! (Again.)

· We continue with today's theme of leaked, bootlegged trailers of the summer's most anticipated blockbusters with the new Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, set to premiere before screenings of Iron Man this Friday. Dare we say, it's a vast improvement over the first. Indy's back, everyone! No, seriously. Indy's back—it just gave out on him. Medic! [indianajones.com]
· Is "closet chef" Jake Gyllenhaal planning on opening his own restaurant before he turns 30? Sign us up for one Dreamy-Eyed Tasting Menu with Naggy Girlfriend Wine Flight! [Big Hospitality]
· Good news: Roger Waters's pig has been found! Bad news: In pieces. Good news: Bacon for everyone! Bad news: It tastes like polyurethane. [MyDesert.com]
· Is Transformers 2 about to get a much-needed injection of menstrual-blood humor? One can only hope. [Cinematical]
· Hey—dogs into unicorns! [Archie McPhee]
· Oops...We almost forgot to salute our man Will Leitch over at Deadspin, who on HBO's Costas Now last night withstood a spittle-storm of invective from Buzz Bissinger, author of Friday Night Lights and owner of a rocking set of he-breasts. [Deadspin]

6:00 PM on Wed Apr 30 2008
By Seth
2,784 views, 8 comments

Latest by jackass penguin: I know he's old, I know it's fanboy fiction and I don't care. Indy, Indy, Indy!! Whoo Hoo!! Even if it sucks, a bad Spielberg film is better than most of the crap laid down on celluloid these days. more »

short ends

The Force Is Strong In This Nerd Screaming At Briefcases

· We think we have a worthy successor to the Star Wars Holiday Special for the most blasphemous use of the property, like, ever. That said, that Darth Banker's a hard-ass, isn't he? $49,000? But there's five large amounts still left in play—including the million! [Deal or No Deal]
· "Organizers of a major California music festival are offering a $10,000 reward and four festival tickets for life in exchange for ex-Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters' two-story inflatable pig." [Reuters]
· David Blaine will try to break the 17-minute world record for breath holding on The Oprah Winfrey Show, which is fine and all, but it's no Criss Angel mindfreaking her brains out. [AP]
· Her new six-hour-a-day workout regimen sometimes requires that Britney Spears walk around the gym wearing nothing but a towel. [Daily Mail]
· Paramount takes a heavy swig of the Blu-Ray Kool-Aid (which, oddly enough, tastes like raspberry with a slightly bitter after-taste). [THR]

6:00 PM on Tue Apr 29 2008
By Seth
1,636 views, 4 comments

Latest by LoveHandles: Don't be led to the slaughter. "Bleeting and Babbling we fell on their neck with a scream" more »

short ends

Gary Busey: Lucid As Bat Guano

· Look, if you're going to ask Hollywood's Favorite Crazy™ Gary Busey a question about his upcoming, 3-D horror movie, don't clutter up his head with extraneous flack-prompting. It just confuses him, and then he's forced to tear someone's endocrine system out—and nobody wants that! [Inside Edition]
· Spotted by a Defamer operative over the weekend at the LAT's Festival of Books: the singlet-sporting, love-handle-afflicted Hoboken Beach Diet Man! He even had his own booth. [Defamer]
· 60 years later, YouTube gives us access to really rare, really racist Looney Tunes cartoons. [NY Times, YouTube]
· Cher revealed to Oprah that she dated Tom Cruise for several months at the beginning of his career: "The audience burst into a frenzy of cheering and whooping, especially when she spoke of one particularly 'long night' in his arms." [news.com.au]
· Wants some cute? How about The Shins on Yo Gabba Gabba? [prn.newscom.com]

6:05 PM on Mon Apr 28 2008
By Seth
2,392 views, 15 comments

Latest by Cultmember: And the Nick Nolte liftime achievement award goes to.... more »

short ends

The Wet-Nosed Sycophants Of The GE Board

· 30 Rock's GE CEO Don Geiss sure knows how to stack a board, doesn't he? Wave a little bacon over their noses, they're putty in your hands. [30 Rock]
· This is it! One more night before your appointment with the Demonshlonged One in the desert. We thought we'd put together a little Coachella Survival Kit for you. First, LA.com offers a pretty handy cheat sheet, packing list included. Next, your forecast (hot as a Satan's taint). And finally, a Trip Advisory, of sorts, offering reviews of every strain of ecstasy pill currently found in Southern California. You wouldn't want your Coachella experience to turn into a twin-demonshlong-headed nightmare! [LA.com, Weather.com, Pillreports.com]
· The new The Dark Knight one sheet is cool and all, but we would have gone in a different direction with it. There! That's better! [firstshowing.net]
· We almost completely forgot—it's Daddy Fridays at the Faultline tonight! Thanks, John Travolta at Michael Eisner's Walk of Fame ceremony! [DListed]
· Prince Caspian is a Cylon. [Photoshop Disaster]

5:44 PM on Fri Apr 25 2008
By Seth
810 views, 1 comment

Latest by hughman: Prince Caspian or Lavar Burton? more »

short ends

Brad Pitt Getting Blown

· By the WIND, people. Get your minds out of the gutter! Bonus besteverness? Directed by David Fincher. [Creativity Magazine]
· Nerds rejoice! Guillermo del Toro has finally signed on to direct the long gestating LOTR prequel, The Hobbit. He will be spending the next four years (!!!) in New Zealand alternately shooting the film and polishing Peter Jackson's Oscars. [Variety]
· Speaking of hobbits, Elijah Wood's latest movie includes his first on-screen sex scene. Disturbingly, the scene involves spaghetti. No word yet if spaghetti sauce is also involved, but if it were, we hope they used Trader Joe's Organic Vodka Sauce. That's our fave. [Thighs Wide Shut]
· And since we've clearly got sex on the brain, here's video of a topless Mischa Barton straddling what looks to be the poor man's James Van Der Beek. The footage comes from some movie that, thanks to the magic of The Internets, you never have to actually see! [Egotastic]
· And lastly, Amy's Robot asks what could be the most important question of our times (or, at least, the last few hours): "Are you aware that Tina Fey's husband looks like this?" Actually, we did not. [Amy's Robot via Fimoculous]

5:40 PM on Thu Apr 24 2008
By Mark Graham
3,503 views, 4 comments

Latest by Benovite: That's her lawyer right? She's got a look on her face like 'yes believe it or not, one of the partners at a now defunct Queens law firm is in fact my husband.' Yikes! I love how David Fincher likes to more »

short ends

Enrique Iglesias's Mole Still Clearly In Love With Him

· We realize yesterday's clip sucked, so to make it up to you, here's an interview conducted by Enrique Iglesias's mole with its former host-body that verges on the sublime. [holamun2.com]
· Looking for a job? Gavin Polone needs an assistant! It's sure to be a challenging yet incredibly rewarding position for someone aspiring to a career in the industry...BWAAAHAHAHAHA! [entertainmentcareers.net]
· Smashing Pumpkin's Billy Corgan and Jimmy Chamberlin were inducted to the Rockwalk outside the Guitar Center today, where "a hundred or so fans turned up, outnumbered by the media and assorted band hangers-on." Sheesh, even Reuters is hatin' on the 'kins. [Reuters]
· Universal is suing Lionsgate for stinking up Midnight Run's legacy by putting one of its characters in a Larry the Cable Guy movie. [THR Esq.]
· Noted parrot fetishist Megan Fox tops FHM's poll of the 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2008, while various Jessicas round out the top five. [hmonline.com]

6:28 PM on Wed Apr 23 2008
By Seth
1,533 views, 6 comments

Latest by Barbarella: Pariah = Gavin Polone And I mean that literally. more »