Barbara Walters Recalls Riding In The Bus With Her Emotionally Retarded Surrogate Daughter, Rosie

• WATCH VIDEO

'Ellen' Tries To Poop On The Rachael/Rosie Love Parade

A spokesperson for the Rachael Ray show confirms the report. "Yes we did receive a legal complaint from Telepictures about Rachael Ray's tribute to Rosie. We think the complaints are invalid and without merit. We stand by the show. And, it will air as scheduled ... May 2."

This St. Patrick's Day, Pray You're Lucky Enough Not To Run Into Rosie O'Donnell

We were going to slap together our own St. Patrick's Day e-card for you, but then we stumbled upon the one above from Rosie O'Donnell's Flickr stream. In it, O'Donnell affects her best impression of Peiste, Ireland's fearsome lough monster, who, unlike the relatively benign Nessie, won't hesitate to take you whole into her powerful jaws, crunching hungrily on your bones in her insatiable quest for warm, nourishing human flesh. Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!

• Rosie O'Donnell's Flickr Page

Even Rosie O'Donnell Gets To Top A List At The Listiest Time Of The Year

With its ear pressed firmly to the streets of middle American suburbs, Parade Magazine has released its 2007 Year-End Pop Culture Poll Results. Among the more notable results: 44% percent of poll-takers responded with "Rosie! Rosie O'Donnell! My answer is ROSIE O'DONNELL," when asked, "Who would you consider to be the most annoying — well calm down, let me finish asking the question —"

Who is the most annoying celebrity?

Jessica Simpson's Career In Retrograde and Other Celebrity Astrological Predictions for the Coming Year

Antipodean charlatan-to-the-stars Teymara Antonio-Wright has released her star predictions for 2008, drawing upon the prognostigatory powers of Jupiter's relation to Orion's belt buckle to forecast what the coming year has in store for Dannielynn Birkhead. You can't make this stuff up. A quick pick from the passel over at ETOnline:

LINDSAY LOHAN:

"She's still in a very up-and-down period of time, through July of next year. Now this up-and-down period of time is going to create a lot of different emotional upheavals for her. She needs a lot of support around her."

Rosie O'Donnell's 'Nip/Tuck' Eagle Attack!

We doubt framing the above video as a behind-the-scenes taste of the Tippi Hedrenesque horrors that await Dawn Budge on Nip/Tuck will do much to render the nightmare fuel therein any less potent.

Rosie O'Donnell Only Has Her Big, Haiku-ing Mouth To Blame For Killing Her MSNBC Deal

No sooner had we reserved some room in our increasingly spacious DVR boxes (now occupied by season passes for Meerkat Manor, C-Span 3's America's Most Smartest Lobbiest, and not much else) for Rosie O'Donnell's upcoming MSNBC talk show, it turns out network executives have pulled out of the project after O'Donnell blabbed about the deal on her blog and at a Miami book signing. A new poem at Rosie.com explains what happened:

the show that never was

msnbc
one hour
live
following keith olbermann

Rosie O'Donnell To Bring Her Patented Brand Of Loud And Crazy To MSNBC?

With the writers' strike finally upon us, a nation of panicky couch potatoes nervously scanning their TV Guides in search of whatever available, non-scripted programming might prevent them from succumbing to an organ-seizing bout of TV withdrawal, we bring you a small measure of hope: According to the NY Times, Rosie O'Donnell is in talks to launch a nightly, primetime MSNBC talk show:

Under one scenario, Ms. O'Donnell would be given the 9 p.m. slot each weeknight on MSNBC, where she would go head-to-head with two heavyweights of cable talk: "Larry King Live" on CNN and "Hannity & Colmes" on Fox News.

Queen Rosie Shows Her Former 'View' Friends How To Really Celebrate Halloween

You know who wasn't going to stay home on the couch this Halloween, posting Flickr photos of herself gobbling fun-size Snickers bars by the handful while watching her old The View couchmates delight the daytime-TV-craving masses with their sassy flapperwear? Rosie O'Donnell, that's who! Trussed up in the most luxurious Elizabethan finery The Martha Stewart Show's wardrobe budget would allow, O'Donnell dropped by to liven up her old friend's oppressively dour chatfest with her signature brand of merrymaking; even the normally mirthless Stewart had to crack a smile when Rosie insisted on communicating only in the piercing upper register of a British monarch so constipated by queenly propriety that she hadn't moved her royal bowels for the entirety of her reign.

• The Martha Stewart Show [marthastewart.com]
• Previously: A Gender-Bending Flapper Halloween On 'The View' [Defamer]

Ivanka Trump Insufficiently Spoiled

Rosie O'Donnell Recalls Happier Times With Onetime Lube-Mentor Barbara Walters

When Rosie O'Donnell joined Roseanne Barr on the stage of a New York comedy club last night, she stunned audiences when she abandoned her regular prop-comedy act involving a cardboard standee of Elisabeth Hasselbeck and a black Sharpee with which to scrawl Hitler moustaches. Instead she revealed yet more stunning insights into her abrupt departure from The View, and into her tangled, beyond icky relationship with Barbara Walters:

Rosie started off by saying, "When I was fired by Barbara Walters" - the first time she didn't stick to "The View's" spin that her departure from the show was by mutual agreement. [...]

Rosie O'Donnell's Electra Complex Issues Emerge In New Memoir

As our review copy of Rosie O'Donnell's memoir appears to have gotten lost in the mail, we've had to settle for the modest trickle of leaks available in press coverage, where so far we've learned of Donald Trump's molluskan qualities and of childhood tea parties in which the self-exiled former View panelist would horrify her stuffed animal collection by crushing her metacarpals with a croquet mallet. Now USA Today provides the most comprehensive preview yet, including an interactive feature that allows you to click on a celebrity to read what Rosie wrote about them (apparently we all killed Anna Nicole!), and a review:

[A]s the warring co-hosts tried to make up, O'Donnell told [Barbara Walters]: "... you did not defend me. And I have been a good, loyal daughter to you. And I want you to be a good mother to me. Don't let the bad man hurt me." [...]

She also has fuzzy recollections of a man climbing in through her window as a child to molest her — until her mother cut down the tree.

Rosie O'Donnell And Her Ab-ilicious Friends Wish You A Happy Humpday

We're not sure what keeps bringing us back to Rosie O'Donnell's Flickr page, which offers an unfailingly terrifying glimpse inside the mind's eye of Barbara Walters' former co-host.

Rosie O'Donnell's Self-Hobbling Past Hints At An Unhappy Childhood

Leaks continue to spill forth from Rosie O'Donnell's upcoming memoir, Celebrity Detox. And unlike the last batch—which offered the fanciful imagery of Donald Trump as both a scarecrow stuffed with U.S. currency, and a tiny, combforwarded garden slug—the pictures conjured by this latest excerpt were disturbing enough to send us running for our Cirque du Soleil brand inversion therapy swings. From The Insider:

Among the hot topics that Rosie delves into is her painful childhood secret. She writes that as a child, she used to break her own limbs with "a baseball bat" or a "wooden hanger."

Maddox Jolie's Lunchtime Dining Options, Revealed!

· In addition to providing entertaining footage of drunk chicks puking on Hollywood sidewalks, last night's TMZ TV debut blew the lid off what Maddox Jolie might be eating for lunch at his fancy-pants school.
· Learn more about Leave Britney Alone Guy, whose YouTube clip is rapidly approaching a million views and has inspired a new fragrance.
· Rosie O'Donnell thinks it's time for someone to grab a throw pillow from The View's sofa and hold it over a napping Barbara Walters' face until she slips off into retirement.
· K-Fed: This acting stuff is dope, yo.

The Scarecrow, The Slug, And The Jell-O: Trump Inspires Rosie To Literary Heights

With the flap fact-checking snafu now fully rectified, Rosie O'Donnell's Celebrity Detox is on course for its October 2 publication date, when celebrity memoir aficionados looking for something a little more substantial and less disclaimer-ridden than O.J. Simpson's If I Did It can curl up with a cup of tea and the angry musings of the disgruntled former co-host of The View. Page Six got their hands on a leaked copy, which contained a number of florid quotes about one of her favorite topics—l'affaire Trump:

"I honestly did not anticipate the malice of his response . . . I assumed Donald believed he had money. I did not assume Donald believed he was money. But apparently he does . . . The stuffing of his self spilled out - think of a torn scarecrow, only instead of hay, it's crisp $100 bills blowing through the cornfields."

Rosie O'Donnell Shocks World By Angrily Complaining About Current Project On Blog

Rosie O'Donnell's next project, a memoir about the trials and tribulations of a reluctant TV personality called Celebrity Detox, has inadvertently become the source of much hand-wringing and stress for the Elisabeth Hasselbeck-targeting headshot vandal. O'Donnell has thus returned to the one true friend she can rely on to never tire of her constant, eardrum-rupturing complaining—her blog—and vented her frustrations upon its virtual pages:

O'Donnell wrote on her blog, that she received a copy of her new book (due in stores on Oct. 2), "Celebrity Detox (The Fame Game)," and was shocked by notes on the sleeve of the hardcover.