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Beautiful And Damned
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Rehab
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Beautiful And Damned
Sears Portrait Studio
Inspiring 'People' Cover Has All Of America Wondering Who Ex-Crankhead Jodie Sweetin Is
As we mentioned yesterday, the cover of the current issue of People magazine bears the image of Jodie Sweetin—famous for being a former meth addict, star of Full House, and host of a waist-down exotic dancing competition, in that order—holding proof positive of a God that believes in second chances: Zoie, her 7-week-old baby daughter. (Who, contrary to an erroneous rumor floating around the internet, was not named for a two-headed pygmy rabbit who'd frequently appear after several sleepless nights on the pipe, offering Sweetin companionship and life coaching whenever it could.)
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short ends
· It's the Burn After Reading red band trailer! We think we just witnessed the Coens' greatest work since really-gay-sounding Anton Chigurh chilled us to the very core. [/Film]
· Celebrity Bogus-Rehab-Excuse Theater now continues with Steve Tyler's shocking admission that his recent stint was only to give his aching tootsies a chance to heal. Yeah, right. Maybe from the needle marks between their toes! [Reuters]
· All-purpose furry-footed fantasy creature James McAvoy is rumored to be favored for the lead in The Hobbit. [theonering.net]
· At celebtags.com, you look at a photo of a celebrity, then submit the first word or phrase that comes to your mind, then can glance at a tag cloud mapping what everyone else submitted. It sounds pointless, but it's kind of addictive. Look out for the billboard-sized word used to describe Sarah Jessica Parker. Meanies! [celeb tags]
Absolut Hunk Explains Why 'SATC' Tracks So Weakly On Mars
· Leave it to the unlikely arena of a TRL interview with Jason Lewis for a probing analysis of the lopsided gender-divide among SATC fans. (To Lewis's credit, he never once utters the phrase, "Cause they're, like, old and not hot.") [MTV]· It's the Burn After Reading red band trailer! We think we just witnessed the Coens' greatest work since really-gay-sounding Anton Chigurh chilled us to the very core. [/Film]
· Celebrity Bogus-Rehab-Excuse Theater now continues with Steve Tyler's shocking admission that his recent stint was only to give his aching tootsies a chance to heal. Yeah, right. Maybe from the needle marks between their toes! [Reuters]
· All-purpose furry-footed fantasy creature James McAvoy is rumored to be favored for the lead in The Hobbit. [theonering.net]
· At celebtags.com, you look at a photo of a celebrity, then submit the first word or phrase that comes to your mind, then can glance at a tag cloud mapping what everyone else submitted. It sounds pointless, but it's kind of addictive. Look out for the billboard-sized word used to describe Sarah Jessica Parker. Meanies! [celeb tags]
blue's clues
Kirsten Dunst's Pants Are On Fire
Everyone’s favorite tipsy greaser Kirsten Dunst is reportedly claiming her month-long stay at rehab center-to-the-stars Cirque Lodge was just a quick fix for feeling down in the dumps. As the actress recently told E! Online, she was not in a state of Natasha Lyonne meth-face madness, nor was she popping pills or playing the Brits’ favorite party game of Booze Snorting — she was just depressed! But when we gave the Cirque Lodge's admission guidelines a quick once over, we found no mention of specific plans aimed at those suffering simply from depression. So we decided to place a call to the Cirque Lodge today to see if our dear Kirsten just might be telling the truth. Sadly, as the Magic 8-Ball might say, "Outlook Not So Good." Here's what the spokesperson we spoke to today told us:
More »We address chemical dependency issues. We’re not at all a purely psychiatric facility like Bridges To Recovery, and each patient must undergo a detox for their chemical dependency, whether they’re coming off benzos, you know, cocktails in a pill, or harder substances. We do treat underlying issues, but if someone is suffering solely from chronic depression, we’re not the place to go.
Sour Times
Kirsten Dunst Is Sad, Especially When She's Not Drinking
For quite some time now, Kirsten Dunst has been just as well known for her rumored drug and alcohol issues as she has been for her film career (Wimbledon, anyone?). But after years of media accusations about her alleged issues with substance abuse, Dunst confided to E! chatterbox Marc Malkin that her trip to rehab a few months ago had nothing to do with booze or blow and everything to do with suffering from depression.
More »"I didn’t go to Cirque Lodge for alcohol abuse or drug abuse,” Dunst tells [Malkin] exclusively during a lunch break on All Good Things. “I went there for depression.”
Steven Tyler: 60, and in rehab. And not just any rehab, but Pasadena's Las Encinas Hospital [TMZ]
defamer real estate
Renaissance Malibu Helps You Overcome Addiction...With Gold
Of the many coastal wellness centers catering to Hollywood's well-monied, well-coke-dealered set, perhaps none swaths its patients in luxury like Renaissance Malibu ("Where currency is for spending, not rolling into little straws."™). The facility—which counts the likes of Daniel Baldwin among its celebrity failures—is now up for sale: a 14,000-square-foot mansion in the neo-Virginia-tobacco-plantation style that's so much in vogue, sitting on an expansive lot of prime Malibu property. (A virtual tour comes courtesy of Radar.) The price? A mere $23.75 million, a piddling sum in exchange for the thrill of living out your wildest Richie Rich rehab fantasies. (Group therapy counsellor Irona not included.)
- Malibu's $23.75M House of Detox [Radar]
off the wagon
The Sight Of Waitresses In Bikinis Puts An End To Lindsay Lohan's Sober Streak
Hearing that Lindsay Lohan has fallen off the wagon before her one-year anniversary as a sober young lady is far less surprising than the venue in which she decided to publicly rebel against her new good girl image this past weekend: the Hawaiian Tropic tourist trap in Manhattan's Times Square. But apparently, after trying so hard to avoid temptations, banning bad influences from her life and even signing up for (albeit questionable acting roles), all the female shimmy-shaking and bar wenches must have inspired her to let loose. And speaking of bosom buddies, People is reporting that Lohan spent the Scores-like evening alongside none other than helpful healer/new roommate Sam Ronson:"Lohan started dancing to Britney Spears...Drinking Grey Goose and Red Bull cocktails...Lohan really got into the music, tossing her hair around and doing full body rolls...She also sang along and pumped her chest to Soulja Boy."And as you'll see from the pictures after the jump, Lindsay's re-entry into the party scene left her passed out in an eerily similar way to her last fateful outing with Ronson... More »
cirque of life
Eva Mendes Latest Victim Of Cirque Lodge's Non-Miraculous Healing Powers
That Cirque Lodge in Utah sure sounds like one helluva wonder drug. After spending several weeks there attending to what TMZ claimed was a"substance abuse" problem, Eva checked out on February 7th (the same day Kiki Dunst checked in!), but was recently seen joyriding through the weekend party circuit. (Lest you forget, Ms. Mendes was once a Campari model.) But Eva's not the only Cirque alum who hasn't quite kicked whatever habit they went in there with; illustrious fellow Cirque-ers include David Hasselhoff, Mary-Kate Olsen, Richie Sambora and our favorite topless "art" model, Lindsay Lohan. So how well did each of these stellar examples of tip top health fare after leaving the Lodge, sober certificate in hand? From hamburgers to hoovering powder on the beach, the verdict is in. More »
Quickly following Friday's announcement that The Insider's Pat O'Brien was returning to rehab to re-exorcise the demons he previously beat back in early 2005 was the reappearance of the I'm Stuck in Rehab with Pat O'Brien blog, whose anonymous author also finds himself back in the same undisclosed recovery center through an incredibly unlucky twist of fate. Reports the blogger: "It seems Pat O'Brien is still under the impression that he's on Celebrity Rehab. At breakfast this morning Pat O'Brien asked me if I had had sex with Mary Carey yet. 'As soon as I see her I'm going to lock that up,' he said." We can only hope that O'Brien has learned from the clumsy, cameraphone-assisted romantic overtures that drove Daniel Baldwin from Rehab, and that his hallucinatory pursuit of Mary Carey doesn't result in the same kind of sobriety-challenging disappointment. [I'm Stuck in Rehab With Pat O'Brien]
preemptive strikes
Breaking 'The Insider' Exclusive: The Insider Returns To Rehab! Must Credit 'The Insider'!
We were just going to let the e-mail blast above speak for itself, but we know you're going to ask, so: There's so far been no indication we're going to get a sequel to the infamous Let's Go Crazy voicemails of 2005. You may now return to your usual Friday afternoon, non-rehab-announcement-related activities.
- The Insider [theinsideronline.com]
rehab
Kirsten Dunst Delivers Herself To Cirque Lodge's Capable Starlet-Drying Hands
Skipping past the block-long line of bottomed-out starlets shivering in their heels as they hoped to gain entrance to Utah's Cirque Lodge, all it took was one weary gaze cast up from beneath a floppy-brimmed hat for the doorman at the hottest rehab facility in the country to unhook the velvet rope from its stanchion and give Kirsten Dunst VIP access. Inside, the Spider-Man series star, for years now dubbed Kirsten Drunkst by an unfeeling tabloid blogging press (curious as to why? This 2005 AskMen.com article, "Why do people call her Kirsten Drunkst?" should answer all your crunk Mary Jane questions) was instantly transported to the Lindsay Lohan Welcome Center and Karaoke Facility for a sparkling cider brunch. More »
It's not always easy to be able to look in the mirror and admit to oneself that perhaps you've been having 2 Much 2 Drink (or 2 Snort/Pop/etc...) lately, so we applaud Eva Mendes's decision to voluntarily submit herself to the detoxicizing miracle workers at Cirque Lodge. If they can tame the fire-eyed Cokepant Demon that was Lindsay Lohan, we have no doubt that whatever self-medicating bumps Mendes has encountered along the road will be smoothed away by the fresh Utah air and some sober-horseback-riding therapy. [TMZ]
recovery
Sean Young To Battle Awards Ceremony Heckling Demons In Rehab
With news spreading of Sean Young's Schnabel-shushing shenanigans at Saturday night's DGA awards—a story you may have first read about here on Sunday, and that has now achieved critical mass thanks to a lively, first-person retelling by Julie Chen on The Late Show—the spent actress has achieved new rock-bottom depths in the annals of awards season gate-crashing. (Lower even than the time the Blade Runner star sent security on a cat-and-mouse chase throughout the topiaries of the 2006 Vanity Fair Oscar party.) Young has now checked herself into rehab, The Insider is reporting: More »
puking up demons
Bodily Expulsions Promised With Premiere Of VH1's 'Celebrity Rehab'
If there's any question as to why we've been eagerly anticipating Celebrity Rehab, the latest offering from VH1's Reality Department/ Non-Skank-Romance Division, since first being teased by footage of Jeff Conaway blowing a rail of fauxcaine, one need only take a look at this ABC News headline, which practically bullet-points every stage of Dr. Drew Pinsky's clinically-proven-to-induce-ratings 4-step program. (Mop-wielding orderlies are typically on high alert prior to Step 3.) Distancing himself from University of the Web-accredited quacks like Dr. Phil and other exploitative reality fare covering the same ground, Actual Medical Doctor Pinsky explains how his show is far more than just Celebrity Apprentice with piles of blow and a stocked bar (which, now that we mention it, would make Trump's show a lot more interesting):
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amends
Irish Officials Accept Jonathan Rhys Meyers's Apology For Drunken Airport Hooliganism
Jonathan Rhys Meyers has been given a pass by Irish officials after the recovering alcoholic was arrested for making a drunken scene last month at Dublin Airport—a wagon-tumble rendered all the more tragic when you factor in that he was in town for his 50-year-old mother's sudden death:
Rhys Meyers did not appear at the Dublin District Court arraignment Wednesday. State prosecutors said they had accepted an apology from the actor and dropped the charges.More »
If you're anything like us, you find yourself drifting off in the middle of conversations wondering how Marie Osmond's 16-year-old son is doing. The answer: Not great. ET, who this year purchased the underlying rights to Marie's soul, helpfully mass -emailed the following plea for privacy just moments ago: "My son Michael is an amazing young man shown through his courage in facing his issues. As his mother I couldn't be more proud of him. The press and public has always been kind and gracious in the past and I know they will continue to respect our privacy during this time." [ETOnline]
on healing
Lindsay Lohan Achieves Moment Of Clarity While Screwing In Rehab Stairwell
In learning to live without the little narcotic helpers that had landed her in rehab an impressive three times before her 22nd birthday during her prolonged stay at Cirque Lodge, Lindsay Lohan was encouraged to seek out different, potentially less self-destructive ways to temporarily blunt the pain and alienation that comes with worldwide celebrity. According to the ex-fiancee of the fellow addict with whom Lohan most closely bonded at the facility, the troubled actress made great strides in her recovery by availing herself of Cirque's innovative Fucking in Stairwells Therapy:
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