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Prophesied Ones

prophesied ones

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Enacts Her Primary Procreative Function

Watchers of The View were treated to a phone call from Elisabeth Hasselbeck, whose ever-fertile, neocon-replicating loins produced a healthy baby boy over the weekend: Taylor Thomas Hasselbeck—mom was a huge Home Improvement fan—is surely meant for great things, possessing both his father's athletic grace and his mother's superhuman ability to withstand fire-breathing co-hosts while still managing to squeeze in some point about how Iraqi women raped by international soldiers have no right to abortions.