Defamer: Pinky And The Brain

Britney and Mel's Excellent Costa Rican Adventure

Molly Friedman — Fri, 16 May 2008 10:15:00 PDT

Back in March, we heard Malibu’s own Ken and Barbie, Mel Gibson and Britney Spears, were aligning their forces of stupidity for the greater good. But it was tough to figure out whether or not they were on a date or set to co-produce a new film starring each and every one of their split personalities. But thanks to recent reports, it sounds as though the partnership was neither love- or business-bound. They’re just two confused drunks trying to stay clean together! Master of sobriety Mel recently flew both Britney and her owner, father Jamie Spears, down for a vacation at his Costa Rican clam shack for some R&R. But why now? And more importantly, why does Britney keep hiding her newly rotund tummy from the paparazzi?

After being spotted at a health clinic just before her jaunt to Mel's, rumors circulated suggesting the healing poptard might be pregnant yet again. Coupled with the fact that Spears has recently favored camouflaging her baby-making area whenever the paparazzi swarm, the theory seemed plausible. But it was merely wishful thinking — the clinic in question specializes in (yawn) sports injuries. As a source tells The Sun, Spears just feels chunky after going cold turkey on her ADD meds, and being force-fed cuisine by her drug addict-turned-chef dad: "She has put on a lot of weight in recent weeks...she is extremely paranoid about her body at the moment." We just hope Mel doesn't accidentally erupt in another sexist spat and address her as Sugar Tits before grabbing her and passing out.

[Photo credits: X17, Splash]

BRITNEY SPEARS AND DAD HEAD TO MEL GIBSON'S COSTA RICAN RANCH [Us]
BRIT TESTS STOKE BABY RUMOURS [The Sun]

Sadly, our cinematic dreams of Britney Spears ...

Molly Friedman — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 16:30:12 PDT

Sadly, our cinematic dreams of Britney Spears and Mel Gibson making movie magic together will remain dreams for now. The odd couple's meeting in LA over the weekend was neither a business meeting nor a date, according to a People source: "There are no expectations, there is no agenda. It's simply an act of human kindness - one neighbor reaching out to the other." Maybe it's just us, but we're not exactly sure Britney needs a life counselor who's an alleged neo-Nazi, let alone one who's fond of calling lady cops Sugar Tits. Then again, he does have two years of sobriety under his belt. That and he's surely got it a bit more together than Michael Lohan. We guess you gotta take what you can get in these trouble-laden times. [People]

Britney Spears And Mel Gibson Team Up To Produce Great Art (Either That Or Babies)

Molly Friedman — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 11:28:51 PDT

When it comes to summoning two powerful talents together into a pitch room with the hopes of making celluloid magic, one would have to be on some seriously strong behind-the-counter cold medicine (you know, the kind they make you sign for) to even dream of putting Britney Spears and Mel Gibson together in lights. However, cameras caught the two seemingly non-connected stars having a business meeting together in Malibu over the weekend. Spears, who's recently updated her weave to a state of barely secure chocolate pieces, arrived "conservatively" dressed in a tight green turtleneck and tighter jeans and was refreshingly mellow for the cameras; no trace of an English accent or improvised joke (even after ducking into the wrong restaurant). But Mel, ever the charmer, hustled through the backdoor.

Though we hope Britney had been called to a meeting with Mel to fill in the cast of his upcoming Under And Alone, which stars Gibson as an undercover agent infiltrating motorcycle gangs in Southern California, the film is already in production. Still, Spears would be a cameo natural; looking rougher than ever and sounding like she's come to embrace misery as a primary emotion, stepping in as some kind of abused, washed-up rider's girlfriend, all while dressed in ripped leather (and with no need for a knotty, tar-colored wig!) would be a better comeback choice than her infamous Lip Syncing On Valium appearance.

But there's also Mel's upcoming Sam And George, in which Mel will play a freed prisoner reuniting with an old friend (presumably named either Sam or George). If Spears really wants to prove herself, she'll instruct Gibson to change one of the title characters' names to Samantha or Georgia and gum-chew her way into a starring role. But sadly, considering the meeting was held at the Romanov, the two were probably just (yawn) on a date, and are planning a litter of right-wing, baby-saving, Holocaust-denying kids. Face it, movies just can't compete with a Hollywood sect of proselytizing Gibneys infiltrating the cultural narrative.

BRITNEY SPEARS DINES WITH MEL GIBSON [Us]