It's not like there's not precedent here, however. Follow the jump for more, including a glimpse at Knightley's previous brush with the 'brush.

A little research at Vantage would likely have revealed Touchstone's own means of dealing with rack challenged starlets, as recalled over the weekend in published reports: Photoshop first, and ask questions later:

The actress drew negative attention in 2004 with her larger-than-usual breasts in publicity stills for King Arthur.

"Those things certainly weren't mine," Fox News quoted her as saying in 2006. According to Knightley, the studio marketing team was behind her suddenly C-cup breasts, but gave her final approval on the photos.

"I was like, 'OK, fine. I honestly don't give a s—-,'" she recalled.

Alas, after laying off the top-secret crew whose muscular augmentation of Daniel Day-Lewis's moustache put There Will Be Blood over the top in 2007, Vantage brass have lost their secret weapons in the even more subtle art of bosom heaving — a craft having long since fallen out of favor with critics from Scarlett Johansson to Liz Smith. But it could be worse — like that time Into the Wild attempted to pass off Emile Hirsch as a leading man? There are some miracles not even Photoshop can approximate.

• Keira Knightley refuses breast enhancement for 'The Duchess' [NYDN]

And our documentaries a little more... documentary.

The rap on American Teen, as perhaps best chronicled in an unusual LA Times two-fer about its deceptive marketing and equally deceptive filmmaking, is an illusion of veracity that even Vantage has sought to downplay. The next judgment that doesn't invoke John Hughes and/or The Breakfast Club (neither of whose anxious appeal Teen so much as touches, let alone grasps) will be the first.

Which isn't Burstein's fault, of course. But in her careful, interwoven cultivation of jock, princess, geek, indie-girl and the nondescript cute guy who floats between them, she goes unquestionably puppetmaster over everything and everyone, so much so that you'd think her budget has a line-item for serendipity. She's everywhere at once as a girl's nude photo circulates the entirety of the Warsaw High School student body's cell phones and e-mail inboxes; she pushes a camera dolly through the school's corridors, lest shots of her subjects walking lack for style or energy.

Nevertheless, she defended herself in the Times:

"I was really surprised actually and have been upset by it," Burstein said of the level of pushback American Teen has generated. "There's accusations that it's staged and scripted and that I went after the stereotypes, and it's just not true.

"I think it's unusual to have a very narrative documentary, so people aren't used to it," she continued. I think people have a hard time believing teenagers are willing to be that intimate on camera. So sometimes I feel I'm being criticized for what the film's achievements are."

Burstein also believes she's being targeted for wanting to make a documentary film with broad appeal, which runs counter to the image many have of docs as dry, wonky films driven by policy and ideology.

There probably is some truth to this latter point, as aggressively as Vantage is pushing Teen everywhere from the Web to the multiplex, with its Hughes-derivative poster art conspicuously sandwiched between those for fare as populist as The Mummy 3 and Step Brothers. This isn't the way things are done among the tony doc crowd, a sliver of which is lucky these days to get one screen for one week let alone five and counting through at least mid-August.

Again, not Burstein's fault. But she is the one playing fast and loose with animation breaks, voice-overs, garden-variety teen angst and even an ending retrofit for a sequel if enough suckers fall for her schtick. That potential alone makes American Teen — or at least its opening-weekend numbers — worth watching; if TV is any indication, reality's never easier to love than when it's fake.

Anne Thompson had a first glimpse at the memo, which, as death warrants go, comes nowhere near the humane, chummy poignancy achieved in May by the executioners at Warner Bros. We guess they really are cutting back on everything, but at least they managed to promote their 2008-09 slate while they were at it. Stay classy, 'Mount. Follow jump for the full text.

TO: Paramount Pictures Employees
FR: Rob Moore and John Lesher
RE: Announcement
DT: July 24, 2008

As you know, we announced last month that we would be reorganizing the Paramount and Vantage marketing, distribution and physical production departments to maximize efficiencies. As part of that process, we analyzed areas of redundancies and today, we announced we would be eliminating about 60 positions across the company. Many of the changes were a direct result of the consolidation of these departments and some were the result of identifying additional opportunities to streamline the organization. The goal is to be strategic and disciplined about how we manage the business for the long term, and to take into account the dynamic nature of the challenging marketplace.

As we have rebuilt and grown the organization, Paramount has consistently looked to evolve in a way that best serves our filmmakers, their creativity and our consumers. We are so grateful for the immense contributions by so many Paramount and Vantage professionals who have been instrumental in our successes so far.

Moving forward, this new structure provides us with a solid foundation as we prepare for our upcoming slate of diverse films, including The Duchess, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Revolutionary Road, G.I. Joe, Star Trek and Transformers 2, to name a few.

None of our successes are possible without your continued support and hard work – we really appreciate it.

Best, Rob and John

###

UPDATE: An astute reader points out that the Paramount terminations are across the board, not solely at Paramount Vantage. This PR-massaged studio bloodletting can be so complicated!

You know we love you. We've seen everything you've done multiple times, once even all in the same day. Our hearts soared when Daniel Day-Lewis credited your "mad, beautiful head" for his Oscar triumph this year; his appreciation spoke for us as well. Sure, we have issues with Magnolia (OK, we hate it), but at least when the DVD came around we were able to make a little more sense of your passion and indulgence. That behind-the-scenes doc by Mark Rance? Fantastic. We'd have preferred the commentaries like those in Boogie Nights and Sydney (a/k/a Hard Eight), but hey. If you're going to charge us for two discs, you'd better make the second one worth our dime.

Which gets us to this new two-disc "collector's edition" of There Will Be Blood, which Paramount Vantage released April 8. Pardon us, but what the fuck is this?

We're sitting here with our favorite film of 2007, looking for your commentary. Nothing. We bust out the second disc. Photo clippings from your research? Three deleted scenes — only one of which features, you know, editing? And, finally, an exhumed silent short about the history of oil drilling? Really? $30 for two discs and all we get is a public-domain two-reeler from 1923?

Look, PTA, we know it's probably not your fault. There's probably a commentary sitting on some hard drive in Vantage boss John Lesher's office waiting for the precise moment when "collectors" will be ready to part ways with another $30 to hear it. There's probably behind-the-scenes footage with Scott Rudin arriving on location in Marfa, Texas, overdressed and throwing a BlackBerry at the assistant whose weather forecast turned out 15 degrees cooler than the actual temperature. We know there are interviews with you, Day-Lewis, Paul Dano and Ciaran Hinds floating around. We know because it's you, and we expect great things. Not... this.

So get with the fucking program already, PTA, and stop jerking us around with the most stingy, shabby, half-assed miscarriage of DVD justice since Mulholland Drive. You're not that pirate George Lucas, and we're not "collectors"; we're fans — true believers and dedicated followers who deserve better. And you're a candid visionary, so tell Paramount to fuck off and send us the real DVD already, for Christ's sake.

— Love, Defamer

They used the unusual, malt-based metaphor as the centerpiece of There Will Be Blood's internet suck-up campaign, throwing in for good measure a coupon for a free Cold Stone Creamery milkshake. It's precisely the kind of simple, ear-to-the-ground promotion technique that winds up getting noticed, and is far less injurious than their original plan of sending the media Blood-branded bowling pins designated for bludgeoning office rivals.

• Paramount Vantage Sends Free Milkshakes to Press [slashfilm.com]