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Prune Sex
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Olsen Twins
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Prune Sex
Fighting Fire With Fur
Meat Lover Jessica Simpson Becomes Latest Celebrity To Face Snarky Wrath Of PETA
No blog, talking head or alcoholic British songbird can compete with PETA when it comes to snark. For decades, the animal lovers have verbally beheaded countless starlets for their fur and snakeskin accessories, but only recently have their targets bitten back. After seeing a recent photo of plumper-than-usual Jessica Simpson sporting one of those so-last-season message t-shirts reading “Real Girls Eat Meat,” we wondered how many of her peers have boldly set themselves up for one of PETA’s trademark white powder massacres. Having called Nicole Richie “an incredible shrinking woman with the heart to match,” advising Ashley Olsen that “wearing fur does add 20 pounds, but if [she] wants to fill out her frame, we suggest using a fork instead,” and telling Lindsay Lohan “there's no road to recovery for the foxes who are anally electrocuted so that you can look skanky,” has PETA inspired any other starlets to publicly react just as vehemently? We take a look at the ongoing battles after the jump. More »
Beefs
PETA Wishes Olsen Twins A Very Hairy Happy Birthday
The long-running war between the celebrity-obsessed activists at PETA and the tiny fur-obsessed Olsen Twins makes Cruise v. Shields scrap look like the Anglo-Zanzibar War in comparison. In the past, we’ve tended to laugh along as PETA got huffy at the tiny millionaires every time they insisted on draping themselves in the former coats of lions, tigers and bears during August heat waves, but a statement from the borderline bestiality fan group released today has us wondering which is worse: designing a (generally critically praised) collection including fur, or catty threats viciously aimed at the pair:
”Thin-twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are about to get some publicity that will have them running away faster than if they'd spotted a calorie...As the Olsen twins prepare to celebrate their 22nd birthday this Friday, they'll be getting some unusual 'gifts' in the mail... from countless young people who object to cruelty to animals.”
What the Olsens’ birthday present(s) will be from PETA and why, after the jump.
More »
Say Prune
The Olsen Twins Teach Us The Powers Of 'The Prune'
Love them or hate them, the magical millionaire pixies that are the Olsen Twins have at least one confirmed talent: perfecting their trademark pose for the paparazzi. And unlike Keira Knightley’s "Don’t Hate Me Because I’m So Rich, Thin And Beautiful" pout or Lindsay Lohan’s dilated tipsy face (often accompanied by props like neon bras and knives!), the Olsens allegedly use a tactic called The Prune. We highly doubt we’re the only ones who’ve noticed the duo’s matching facial contortion on red carpets in which their doll-sized lips purse and their cheekbones struggle to break free from nicotine-drenched skin. Their secret? As a source tells OK!, “Every time they pose and smile, they say the word ‘prune.’” Genius! Examples of the sometimes-flattering, sometimes-horrifying technique, presented in our favorite Tipsy Face Bingo format, after the jump. More »
surprise hotties
Surprise Of The Year: The Olsen Twins Look Hot In Bikinis
We're fans of surprises here at Defamer, especially when they involve young female stars in bikinis. So when we came across these photos of Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen in their itty bitty swimsuits on Egotastic, we were admittedly shocked. Considering all those years-old anorexia rumors, coupled with endless paparazzi shots making the tiny twins look roughly 80 pounds combined, we'd expect a somewhat fear-filled reaction upon seeing MK and Ash undressed. But you know what? Hugh Hefner may not have been crazy after all when he decided the twins would be ideal candidates for his next Playboy spread. Even if the camera does add poundage, we're seeing muscle tone and curves. Take a closer look at the full gallery, up close and personal, after the jump.
More »
An Olsen twin is down! An Olsen is down! Thankfully, according to the rep for the Mary-Kate half (the one on Weeds, as you surely recall) of Hollywood's richest set of formerly conjoined twins, the just-announced hospitalization was for a "kidney infection," an explanation far less suspicious than the "exhaustion" and "dehydration" excuses forever tainted by flacks for the actress's more-troubled, serially rehabbing peers. [People]
separation anxiety
Better Know Your Premium-Cable Olsen Twin
It's been so long since our last viewing of New York Minute, the last big Hollywood project the then-still-conjoined Olsen Twins took on before electing for a controversial separation surgery that effectively ended their acting careers, that we'd forgotten which half of the duo we'd once believed to possess all their acting talent.
scars that will take time to heal
Sir Ben On How An Olsen Twin Brought 'Huge Energy' To Making Out With Him
Ranking at the very top of a list we keep of Celebrity Pairs We Hope To Never See Making Out—and beating out such unholy couplings as Peter O'Toole/Nicole Richie and Elizabeth Taylor/Haley Joel Osment—has long been Sir Ben Kingsley and either of the Olsen Twins, the subjects of one our most troubling recurring dreams. (We will spare you the details, no matter how fiercely you beg us to share them. Just know that a messy chocolate souffle is involved. We've said too much!) But thanks to the upcoming indie film The Wackness, we'll soon have the opportunity to see the much-unclamored-for Kingsley/Mary-Kate osculation outside of our fragile, obviously very damaged subconscious. Worse still is the way in which Sir Ben describes his co-star to Access Hollywood:More »
annals of regrettable publicity appearances
Jet-Lagged John Stamos Tries To Recall How Many Olsen Twins He Used To Work With
In a suspiciously incomprehensible promotional performance that recalls Paula Abdul's finest, power-napping junket work on behalf of American Idol, hunky TV doctor and former Full House "cool uncle" John Stamos slurred his way through an ER press appearance in Australia yesterday. The Daily Telegraph reports that the actor and his publicist jointly ascribed his inability to clearly articulate his thoughts on his still-vital relationship with the Olsen Twins to a brain-clouding cocktail of coffee abuse and jetlag, an explanation the paper cynically dismisses by noting that Stamos has "been in Sydney since Thursday." Through the magic of the internets, a worldwide system of info-tunnels through which images of a famous person's every misstep can be instantly disseminated, you can enjoy a clip of the interview, deciding for yourself whether the flack's diagnosis of Stamos's rare Delayed, Caffeine-Enhanced Time Zone Readjustment Syndrome is a valid one. More »
milestones
The Olsen Twins Turn 21, World Yawns, Wonders How Lindsay's Holding Up In Rehab
While the Olsen Twins' passage into civically recognized womanhood three years ago was a cultural event so significant that countdown clocks ticking down the seconds until their shared 18th birthday were erected in every corner of the internet and Barely Legal magazine famously sponsored a three-week party in a handful of major American cities commemorating the occasion, today's ascent to drinking age is passing with little, if any, fanfare. More »
short ends
· The trailer for Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's Grindhouse is circulating around the internets. And Rose McGowan has a machine gun for a leg. Not to get too reeled in by half a minute or so of teaser footage, but we might have to see this movie nine or ten times.
If looking at paparazzi photos of two Lost co-stars dry-humping (well, not-so-dry-humping) on the beach is something you've been waiting for, today is your lucky day,
This has always been one of our favorite New Pornographers songs, but now it has an even more special place in our hearts. And Bob Barker's too, we imagine. [via Fleshbot]
· Paris Hilton can't even get any respect on dirty, abandoned furniture.
· The Olsen twins move into the next phase of their corporate empire building, launching an e-commerce site where 'tweens can buy the same huge sunglasses and baglady-inspired fashions they themselves model on a daily basis. More »
Short Ends: We're Willing To Put That Ugly Finger-Sucking Incident Behind Us
· The trailer for Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's Grindhouse is circulating around the internets. And Rose McGowan has a machine gun for a leg. Not to get too reeled in by half a minute or so of teaser footage, but we might have to see this movie nine or ten times.
If looking at paparazzi photos of two Lost co-stars dry-humping (well, not-so-dry-humping) on the beach is something you've been waiting for, today is your lucky day,
This has always been one of our favorite New Pornographers songs, but now it has an even more special place in our hearts. And Bob Barker's too, we imagine. [via Fleshbot]
· Paris Hilton can't even get any respect on dirty, abandoned furniture.
· The Olsen twins move into the next phase of their corporate empire building, launching an e-commerce site where 'tweens can buy the same huge sunglasses and baglady-inspired fashions they themselves model on a daily basis. More »
nightlife
The Five (Thousand) Celebrity People You Meet At Hyde
Imagine a place so tiny and densely packed with scene-whores, celebrities, and assorted industry VIP types that not even light (or an agent who's suddenly run out of coke and needs to call his connection before the mactress he's keeping high gets tired of him) can escape. If you can picture such a black hole of pure Hollywood clusterfuckery, you have a pretty good handle on the scene at Hyde. Because we know there is little in this world more satisfying than knowing who you weren't hanging out with last night behind the velvet rope, enjoy these reports of who turned up at Hyde last night, according to a pair of operatives: More »
nightlife
Big Bust At Mood Doesn't Cuff Any Underage Celebrities
TMZ.com's web-enabled stalkerazzi have continued their crusade against the scourge of underage drinking at clubs in Hollywood Boulevard's storied Morality Corridor, capturing video of a bust at celeb-infested boozehole Mood late last night while trolling for evidence of the sub-21 celebrity set entering the bar. They did get footage of 19-year-old, famous-esque Laguna Beach personality Kristin Cavallari, as well as some of a 17-year-old (pictured at left) being led away in handcuffs for sneaking into the club with fake ID. Reports TMZ: More »
nightlife
Breaking! Underage Stars Party At Hollywood Clubs!
The web-enabled stalkerazzi at TMZ.com staked out Hollywood Boulevard, and after untold man-hours spent monitoring the comings and going of clubgoers, have finally blown the lid off one of the nightlife industry's dirtiest and best-kept secrets: Underage celebrities frequent establishments where alcohol is served. In addition to a (shocking!) photo of 18-year-old Jesse McCartney clutching a Corona (likely alcohol content: 4.5 percent), the site has (jaw-dropping!) video of some of your favorite teen stars brazenly patronizing bars: More »
short ends
Short Ends: Shining The Olsen Twins
· Britney Spears on: not being bitter, ambivalent police offers, doing great, missing the road and being on stage, boredom, and the lack of wow in pop. Yeah, that about covers it.· We find the Olsen twins a little unsettling in general, but now the Gilded Moose has figured out why their new modeling gig bothers us.
· Lisa Marie Presley marries, this time opting not to go with a child-actor-collecting, skin-bleaching, nose-hole-wheezing freak. Which, of course, means that we couldn't care less who the dude is.
· The pusher who started us mainlining unicorns insists that it's time we graduate to freebasing cuppycakes.
olsen twins
