Have you ever experimented with a woman?
Yes, I had my rite of passage. I was 16, and I wasn’t really in control of the situation, if you know what I mean. It was much more about a male fantasy of seeing two women together. But I loved the girl a lot; she was one of my closest friends. I think falling in love is actually more about falling in love with an individual. We’re all potentially bisexual; it all depends on your circle, your upbringing, and all kinds of things. Or maybe I’m just talking about myself. I could’ve easily fallen in love with a woman over a man. My husband Ol’s kind of a man-woman. Look, I once loved Tim Curry, so there you go.

Upon reading Newton's interview, Oliver Stone immediately scheduled reshoots for an elaborate lesbian dream sequence to accompany George W. Bush's 2002 preztel-choking incident. "Laura, Condi, why don't you root out each other's infidels. No, I'm just gonna hang back. I'm the Decider."

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Big Gay Following [The Advocate]

[W]e were turned down by everybody for money, including your Aunt Gertrude. It was humiliating. I make no bones about it. I think this is a great subject. I don’t think I have a bad track record. I needed a star, though, and Josh Brolin was not a star. Originally I went for Christian Bale. We did some rigorous prosthetic tests and spent a lot of dough—thousands and thousands of dollars—and then Christian said, “I just don’t feel like I can do it.” I met Josh and liked him. He was more rural Americana. But man, he was scared shitless. ...

[Bush] is a different man; he’s not as dark or deep as someone like Nixon. The style is a time trip through three different eras, to give you a sense of young, middle, and old. It’s light. [...] [I]t has to be done with an ebullience and a certain fun, because the guy is goofy. He’s a goofball! And I think he endeared himself to people because he couldn’t get anything right. Kubrick was an idol of mine. I grew up on Strangelove and movies like Network, and they made a big impact on me. So yeah, W. is a satire.

Yeah, whatever — again, we knew that. But what "rigorous prosthetic tests" must Bale have gone through to try out for President Bush? And how lucky is Stone to have went with the guy who got locked up for sassing the police and not for allegedly assaulting Momzo the Clown? Maybe this whole thing is meant to be after all.

• Bush Gets Stoned [GQ]

• Bush Gets Stoned [GQ]

If Brolin comes off as a good ol’ boy, he’s actually a Hollywood scion, the vigorous sprout of a six-foot-four tree named James Brolin. “My dad is probably one of the handsomest guys ever,” says Brolin. “I was making a joke and I said, ‘If I was a chick, I’d f—- you.’ He was like, ‘You can’t say that! Shut your mouth!’”

While we admire the younger Brolin's candor, we hope he left his paternal fixation at the palatial Streisand residence instead of bringing it onto the set of W. The audience appetite for two more hours of George W. Bush may be further diluted by a scene in which W., high on peyote and aroused by a marathon session of brush-clearing at his Crawford ranch, places a late-night, naughty call to his father, whispering, "How'd you like to make a preemptive strike against my Fruit of the Looms, Poppy?"

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Josh Brolin [W]

1. Brad Pitt will win an Academy Award. We know the post-Toronto establishment has all but engraved Mickey Rourke's name on this year's Best Actor Oscar (hell, even Rourke has engraved his name on this year's Best Actor Oscar), but taking both The Wrestler (release date TBD) and Pitt's epic The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (12/25) sight unseen, we'll take the aging-backward-on-other-people's-bodies gimmick over the gritty indie comeback 10 times out of 10. Not that it won't be close: Brad Grey will spend more on his old pal's campaign than Fox Searchlight is probably ready to drop on Rourke's, but Rourke will be the more accessible nominee to the media. Look for dark horse Sean Penn (Milk) to split the field late; Focus Features won't settle for another 0-fer in '08.

2. W. (10/17) will tip the election to the GOP. Opening less than three weeks before Election Day, the film will be too muddled to move the Democrats yet irreverent enough to galvanize the Republican base against Hollywood one more time before voting. Oliver Stone will be recognized as the new Ralph Nader.

3. You're going to miss Don LaFontaine a lot more than you think. Otherwise execrable trailers like this one for The Haunting of Molly Hartley (10/31) acquired bittersweet relevance overnight:

4. The Weinstein Company will muscle its way back to prominence. Harvey had a relatively hemorrhage-free summer, closed out by his $16 million-grossing (and counting) Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Meanwhile, Zack and Miri Make a Porno (10/31) left Toronto with goodwill to spare, the LA immigrant saga Crossing Over (10/24) has Harrison Ford, Sean Penn and others channeling Crash, and the company bumped up The Reader for Kate Winslet Oscar consideration. (NB: The Rourke Factor also reportedly inspired Harvey to finally slot his long-shelved Killshot on Nov. 7.) The Weinsteins being the Weinsteins, of course, the operation could crash at any time, but at least the ensuing conflagration promises Hindenberg levels of spectacle. That's our Harvey.

5. Owen Wilson will emerge from, return to hiding after explaining the trailer to Marley & Me (12/25). That is all.

6. The Soloist (11/21) will be better than it sounds. But it sounds great, right? Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx, directed by Pride and Prejudice/Atonement helmer Joe Wright? Alas, the logline: "A schizophrenic, homeless musician from Skid Row, Los Angeles dreams of playing at Walt Disney Concert Hall." Based on a true story, natch: Downey Jr. plays the real-life LAT reporter who befriends him, warning Foxx behind the scenes about the perils of going full-schizo. All things being equal, we like their chances.

7. Charlie Kaufman's Synecdoche, New York (10/24) will be this year's unlikeliest tearjerker. Not just for its devastating, beautiful final act, but also for the probability that Sony Classics will weep red ink when it makes about five cents at the box office.

8. Twilight (11/21) will only be the second-best vampire movie released this fall. You won't find Let the Right One In (10/24) on the cover of EW, but you'll find the Swedish export in a lot of festival juries' hearts since last spring. Half coming-of-age romance and half vengeful horror epic, it picks up the story of a bullied 12-year-old boy whose sweet new girlfriend next door ends up being several thousand years older than she looks — and behaves accordingly. Genre distributor Magnet Releasing might only get this on a hundred screens, but watch the word-of-mouth and top-10-list acclaim bump it into sleeper status by the end of the year.

9. Extreme Movie will open to a $0 gross after viewers confuse it with the other, less-illustrious Movie franchise. But you can be prepared: Extreme Movie is the teen sex comedy starring Michael Cera and Frankie Muniz; Disaster Movie et. al. are the ones whose auditoriums smell faintly of piss. Know the difference!

10. Daniel Craig will miss 2006. Casino Royale was a surprising, sporadically brilliant reboot, but the honeymoon is over: Quantum of Solace's trailer isn't dazzling anyone; the title is stillborn; Sony couldn't settle on a US release date (it finally chose 11/14); and unfairly or not, franchise obsessives want nothing to do with new director Marc Forster. And all this after the Bond curse cost Craig part of his finger. It's a cruel world, but not as cruel as it'll seem after Defiance (12/12), the WWII Jewish resistance drama in which he and screen bros Liev Schrieber and Jamie Bell fight off Nazis during the invasion of Poland. Among the last of Paramount Vantage's orphaned prestige titles, and opening opposite Doubt, an expanded Frost/Nixon and The Day the Earth Stood Still, it's bound to knock Craig back to stardom's second tier for a while to come.

11. Beverly Hills Chihuahua (10/3) will astonish and amaze. But you already knew that.

• Access Hollywood [via Hollywood Elsewhere]

• 'W. 'Gets Misunderestimated With New Posters in Denver [Film School Rejects]

According to police called to the Stray Cat at 2 a.m., the actors and four other crew members "interfered" with the other's arrest:

A Brolin insider told the Daily News that the actor was not involved in a physical scuffle, as several news outlets previously reported. "He was released very soon after the incident," the source said. "It was not a bar fight. It wasn't a physical situation."

Brolin was released from jail after paying $334 bail; Wright wasn't listed in police booking records as of Saturday evening.

Nevertheless, there's Wright's mug shot, boosting Team W pride just in time for the Vanity Fair delegation reportedly en route to visit the principals that day. And what a scene that would greet them: No different than any authentic Bush kegstand, really, with four squad cars, bike cops and a canine unit arriving to squelch the fun. We can't wait to see what carnage ensues if these guys actually do premiere before election day — in character as Dick Cheney, Richard Dreyfuss alone is good for at least a couple overhead beer-bottle smashes before he breaks out his shotgun.

[Photo credit: Josh Brolin, Jeffrey Wright, others on Oliver Stone film arrested [NYDN]

• "Bush," "Colin Powell" Nabbed In Bar Fight [CBS]

DRESSED IN a suffocating Rangers warmup jacket earlier on that scorching June day, Brolin kept running into an outfield wall, trying to make a heroic catch as part of the film's baseball-oriented fantasy framing device.

Oh boy. While this is neither the first nor certainly the last time that Stone has sprinkled a bit of his patented blend of cinematic crazy into one of his scripts, this framing device sounds like it might have been concocted during an acid flashback that ended with Stone huddled in a corner of a room watching video of Willie Mays' miracle catch on ESPN Classic. Bonus points to Stone for showing a dirty and bloody Bush (pictured above), but if the film ends with Josh Brolin making a leaping catch in centerfield (scored, of course, with John Fogerty's "Centerfield") interspersed with documentary footage of the statue of Saddam Hussein falling down in Baghdad, we'll be the ones leading the charge to petition a judge to toss Stone in Movie Jail and to throw away the key.

• Oliver Stone and 'W.,' a story of President Bush [LAT]

And why not? His nasal-y, insistent deadpan is a fine match for zingers like, "Anyone can go to Baghdad. Real men go to Tehran," and his tightly wound, liberal Jewish disposition should dovetail seamlessly with the Wyoming native's unbridled Republican blood lust. Nope, no stunt casting here! What — Cate Blanchett wasn't available?

• Richard Dreyfuss heads to the White House [THR]

Page 10 on Bill Clinton: "My mother waddles faster than that larda - -." Page 11: "We'll move these terr'ists to Guantanemera." Cheney: "Guantanamo." Bush: "Right." Then Bush to Cheney: "Vice, when we're in meetings I want you to keep a lid on it. Keep your ego in check. Remember, I'm the president."

Flashbacks have college-boy W. boozing, slacking off from work, in jail, calling his then-congressman father "Poppy." Sr. praising Jeb, castigating Jr., asking if he's "knocked up" a girl named Susie, complaining, "You never kept your word once . . . you're only good for partying, chasing tail, driving drunk . . . You deeply disappoint me." Repeat father and son arguments. Father: "I've had enough of your crap." Son: "I've had enough of you for a lifetime." Mama Barbara breaking up the near fisticuffs with announcing Jr. just made Harvard and Sr. responding, "But who do you think pulled the strings?" ...

Page 42. Checking a map, being told it passed "Humint," whereupon the President of the United States asks, "What's 'Humint' again?" and being told "It's Human Intelligence." A scene in which, auditing an Iraqi intercept, W. asks, "Wolfowitz, got any Maalox on you? . . . and while you're at it, trim your ear hairs." And Cheney checking his heart pills.

Then it struck us: Cindy Adams's distillation is W's shooting script. How else could we expect Stone to turn the film around in five months? And anyway, if it's not the script, then it should be; pair this up with the Uwe Boll Movie Challenge (Jeb Bush could be the requisite "little brother") — instant classic! In any event, we'd gladly crew up for any filmmaker with the vision and wherewithal to commit this to celluloid or tape. We promise not to tell the WGA.

• FILM HAS A FEW WORDS ABOUT OUR PRESIDENT [NYP]

"We don't really know much about Mr. Bush beyond the controlled images we've been allowed to see on TV. This movie's taking a bold stab at looking behind that curtain," Stone said in a statement. "I'm real pleased that Lionsgate has the independence necessary to bring this provocative story to an American audience."

Distribution deal was made by Tom Ortenberg, Lionsgate president of theatrical films. , who said, "With W, (Stone) again demonstrates his creative vitality and genius for speaking to our times."

Hence the W rumor mill once again whirring into action, deploying hints and whispers from the Louisiana set that Stone would probably "just play the son-of-a-bitch Cheney [himself]." He has alleged this could be his first comedy, after all, and it couldn't hurt to try on one of his films' quintessentially terrible hairpieces and take one for the team in the interest of time. Our democracy evidently depends on it.

• Lionsgate books Oliver Stone's 'W' [Variety]

W didn't just make studios nervous; the script gave lots of movie stars cold feet, too. Stone denies rumors that Robert Duvall turned down Cheney. And he won't comment on reports that he's talking to Paul Giamatti about the part. But casting has clearly been challenging. ''You'd be amazed how many male stars of a certain age in Hollywood are Republicans,'' says Bill Block, CEO of QED, one of the film's producers. ''I'm not going to name names, but a lot of them just didn't want to have anything to do with it.''

According to Stone, even some of the town's young Democrats couldn't be persuaded. ''They hate Bush so much, they can't understand why I'd want to make a movie about him,'' he says. ''They hate him so much, they can't even imagine themselves playing him or playing anybody around him.''

We agree Giamatti would make a decent Cheney, but we're for a little more adventuresome casting to wash out the flat taste of the script (the recently distributed version of which, EW also notes, is at least a couple of drafts old). On one hand, Woody Harrelson would seem to fit the bill with just enough irony to hold us over to the closing credits, but a Stone/Val Kilmer reunion would be truly Earth-shattering. Or, no! Get Javier Bardem, who conveniently just quit Rob Marshall's Nine and is Brolin's BFF anyway. Maybe Robert Downey Jr? Cate Blanchett? Hurry!

[Photo Credit: Entertainment Weekly]

• First Look: 'W,' Oliver Stone's Bush Biopic [EW]

boomp3.com

Famed filmmaker Oliver Stone threw a party for himself and a few friends over the weekend to celebrate his anticipated comeback to Hollywood. After a couple of glasses of wine, Stone opened up to anybody who'd listen about how great his upcoming George W Bush biopic is going to be. He later added that the name Oliver Stone will no longer be remembered for bloated period epics, crackpot political theories and forced stylistic flourishes; no, the Stone name will once again be a great name. He then proceed to pound another glass of wine.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

"It leaves you with the impression that the White House is run as a fraternity house with no reverence for hierarchy, the office itself or for the implications of policy," said Robert Draper, author of Dead Certain: The Presidency of George Bush. "Everybody calling everybody else nicknames and chatting about whether to go to war as if they were chatting about how to bet on a football game really misses the mark of how many White Houses, including this one, are run." ...

"The problem here is it goes to this notion of Bush as being the passive receiver of policy and the White House being run by (Dick) Cheney, (Donald) Rumsfeld, (Karl) Rove and others," Draper said. "Bush's adversaries have been ill-served by this belief that Bush is an observer to his own presidency. This notion that his schedule is driven by what's on ESPN is ludicrous."

Damage control is underway at Stone's office, where the director immediately summoned behind-the-scenes dirt for his rewrite of the protracted Bush/Rove World Series of Poker standoff of 2006, which ended with Bush turning off an episode Rove hadn't seen, thus planting the seeds for Rove's resignation and prompting a verrrrry high-stakes, all-night Texas hold 'em bender with visiting Pakistan president Pervez Musharraf.

• Bush biographers mixed on script for Oliver Stone's 'W' [THR]

We Think We Buy: "When his father cries after losing to Bill Clinton in 1992, Bush sticks it to his dad by telling him that he would have won if he'd ousted Saddam at the end of the first Gulf War."
Bullshit, Right? "When he hears about French Prime Minister Jacques Chirac's desire to give weapons inspectors 30 more days to work in Iraq, Bush explodes: 'Thirty days! I'd like to stuff a plate of freedom fries down that slick piece of s—'s throat!' "

We Think We Buy: "Before the invasion, he tells a shocked British Prime Minister Tony Blair about alternative plans such as baiting Saddam by painting a U.S. spy plane in U.N. colors and assassinating the Iraqi leader."
Bullshit, Right? "In one scene, Bush practices his parachute landing in the White House pool but forgets to properly release the harness and sinks to the bottom."

We Think We Buy: "At one point, Bush describes giving up sweets as 'my personal sacrifice to show support for our troops.' "
Bullshit, Right? "Bush explodes in a profanity-laced outburst , 'Did you tell her I don't like motherf— who gas their own people! Did you tell her I don't like a— holes who try to kill my father! Did you tell her I'm going to kick his a— all over the Middle East?' "

We Think We Buy: "But the film also strives to paint a humanistic portrait of the commander in chief, with Bush once telling the Rev. Billy Graham that 'there's this darkness that follows me.' "
Bullshit, Right? "During the planning of the war, Bush and his top advisers are shown locking the war-wary Powell out of a room, erupting into laughter when they finally let him in."

So wait — it's a comedy? Try as we might, we cannot envision an Oliver Stone so out of touch with reality that SNL-grade practical jokes would elude broad editorial snips. That said, we've also long suspected the Animal House qualities of the Bush 43 Cabinet, and at the end of the day (even April Fool's Day) we can't imagine ABC foisting a gag this political on its readers. Did we miss a clue somewhere that gives this away, or are we actually supposed to be looking forward to this?

[Photo Credit: ABC News]

• Daddy Issues, War Lust in Oliver Stone's 'W' [ABC]

· More Oliver Stone's Bush (it's actually called W) casting news: James Cromwell and Ellen Burstyn are attached to play George Herbert and Barbara. [Variety]
· Elisha Cuthbert returns to primetime, maybe, as she was cast as the lead in CBS pilot Ny-Lon, playing the role of the "bohemian New York record store clerk" originated in the UK version by Rashida Jones, who got screwed over by signing herself over to that crappy Farrelly sitcom on Fox. [THR]

*We're informed by someone well-versed in Disney princess castles that Cinderella's Castle is in Orlando and Tokyo, while Anaheim is the home of Sleeping Beauty's Castle. We apologize for any castle confusion.

· Seeing a golden opportunity to clear their development docket of pilot stinkers, CBS has killed 20 projects, trotting them out single file to an abandoned studio on the Television City lot, where they were doused in gasoline and burned alive, with only their scorched brads left behind as proof that they ever existed at all. [THR]
· Penelope Cruz's voice talents have been secured by superproducer Jerry Bruckheimer to play Juarez, a literal guinea pig, in live-action/CG film G-Force. You read correctly: No face, no boobs, just her voice. [THR]

· Steve Guttenberg goes dark, taking on the role of a father whose son goes missing in the middle of a divorce in The Well, a film that should make everyone quickly forget he just went slumming with Jessica Simpson in Major Movie Star. [THR]
·SNL's staff is put on "unpaid hiatus" until the resolution of the strike; in the meantime, the writers and cast who put on Saturday's UCB version of the show are donating the proceeds of that benefit to their laid-off co-workers. [Variety]

HOLLYWOOD director Oliver Stone has shocked a celebrity crowd with an off-colour joke about the murders of five suspected sex workers in eastern England, as it was reported women's clothing had been found near where some of the bodies had been dumped. [...]

"It's great to be back in England. I feel like Jack The Ripper days are back. Nothing ever changes here."

The stunned crowd responded with jeers, gasps and boos, with one audience member quoted as saying the remark was in "unbelievably bad taste".

Are we going soft if we feel kind of badly for the guy? Mere hours before World Trade Center is completely shut of the Golden Globes, Stone manages to draw jeers from a huge crowd gathered for the express purpose of celebrating laughter. In England. Luckily for Stone, Sacha Baron Cohen was the next presenter, and the waves of hysterical laughter generated by his in-character Borat monologue about how the fashionable clothes of murdered Kazahk prostitutes are always taken home for use by their sisters quickly drowned out any memory of the director's shocking gaffe.

• Serial killer joke stuns crowd [News.com.au]

In today's episode: Oliver Stone; Ashton Kutcher; Kiefer Sutherland and John Mayer; James Woods; Patrick Dempsey; Chloe Sevigny; Cuba Gooding Jr.; Tommy Lee and Hayden Panettiere; Fergie; Travis Barker; Steve Kmetko and Demetri Martin.

· Hey... saw Oliver Stone + 2 women come out of East-West gay bar on Santa Monica Blvd. around 1:30 am [12-8-06]... No height surprises, just as what i envisioned 5'11, dark suit, with 2 drunk women... holding both women's waists as they were exiting the door; bumped into one of the girls coming in... He kissed one girl on the street on the way to their car, while the other looked on.

· 12/06- Spotted Ashton Kutcher at American Rag (Is the "Cie" really necessary?), sporting a navy blue sweatshirt and a terrifying trailer park molestache. He's pretty tall, but with bad posture, and seemed friendly, chatting for a bit with a generic gay man who was fawning over him. He may have been an aquaintance, but I wasn't listening closely enough to tell.

· Kiefer Sutherland chilling at the VH1 Save the Music party Fri night at some mansion off Mulholland in BH. Talking to what looked like business associates, and not even drinking, which is sad because I was hoping he'd go another round with a Christmas tree. Probably there because that lame band he manages was playing. Speaking of lame, John Mayer was there, and that eastern european guy from Rockstar Supernova who I think lost in the final round.

· 12/3 - After noticing the James Woods and "niece" age blonde sighting at the Beverly Hills Hotel on Saturday, I thought I'd mention that I saw the same except the two were standing outside the L'Ermitage on Sunday. Not sure if it's the same young blonde. Some may say, "Good for you, James Woods." I say, "Ick."

· Disney/ABC/Buena Vista Pictures films sitcoms and what not on Thursdays and Fridays on the lot. Everyone always sees famous people except for me (though I have seen the guy from 'What About Brian' in the commissary but I think the work "famous" would be a stretch). Well....today I go to the Disney Employee Store on the lot to pick up a few things for the holidays and who looks straight in my eyes while i'm waiting at the register?? Patrick Dempsey. I couldn't tell if he was dressed casually as part of his "costume" (b/c it kind of looked like the stuff he wears on the show) or if he just came by to pick stuff up. He was shopping for little girl clothes.

· Saturday night at Silver Lake's Edendale Grill, the best restaurant that used to be a firehouse that I've ever eaten in, a dining companion nearly choked on her salad when she realized that we were in the presence of hipster royalty, as Chloe Sevigny was holding court with several friends a couple of tables over. I calmly informed her that I was not in the least impressed, as I have previously seen brighter lights like Ashley Olsen and Maura Tierney at this particular establishment, the celebrity-sighting benchmarks by which all others will forever be judged.

· Two not-very-exciting Valley sightings. I know, I know, all the cool people live on the other side of the hill.

A casually dressed Cuba Gooding Jr. was at Henry's Tacos in Studio City on Tuesday afternoon, December 5. A woman (blonde, perhaps—hard to tell through the tinted windows) stayed in their massive SUV while he jumped out and ordered. Either she's more famous than he is or he's a gentleman.

And last night (12/7), John C. Reilly slipped into a chauffeur-driven town car after shopping at the Longs drugstore at the corner of Ventura and Laurel Canyon. He looked exhausted (and was dressed sloppily in jeans and an untucked plaid shirt) but was very pleasant as he asked the driver to take him home.

· 12/2 8:00pm-ish: I saw Tommy Lee at the VH1 "big in 06" event layin' his rap on Hayden Panettiere (aka. the cheerleader) during a trip out to his car for some "refreshments" with the other supernova members. All were in good spirits on the return trip to stage 30, when Tommy helped the Cheerleader over some dangerous ground clutter in a most gentlemanly fashion. I wonder if this means we will see Hayden going to the ER for "exhaustion" anytime soon? And I hope she has on some panties when she gets out of the car.

· I saw Fergie at the airport in Las Vegas on Sunday afternoon, talking about a missed flight on her cellphone. She looked way better in person than I expected...

· black friday: saw travis barker walking down Wilshire blvd in santa monica holding several baby gap bags. what a rebel.

· Saw Greg Louganis' ex, former E! News Daily host Steve Kmetko, having breakfast (12-6) at my favorite spot (name redacted lest it be overrun with Kmetko-stalking pancake lovers) in Silver Lake. He was sitting with a group of middle-aged gay dudes. I wasn't really listening, but I couldn't help but overhear when he yelled, "It's when the stewardesses have to take their seats that you say to yourself, 'Shit!!!'" To be honest, I barely recognized him—he's put on a whole lot of weight since his on-camera days. Bet Greg's still rockin' the diver's body. Burn!

· Thurs Dec 7, 1:00ish, Third Street Promenade, standing outside Le Pain Quotidien after a lovely lunch. Spotted the adorable Demetri Martin exiting the Tower Records store. He was wearing a blue Disney sweatshirt with Mickey Mouse on it, and did not appear to have purchased anything. But he was sporting a Discman instead of an Ipod. Rock on with your old school self, Demetri!

[Ed. note: There has been some debate in the comments recently over perceived "planted" sightings. We can assure you, every PrivacyWatch submission goes through a rigorous, 28-step quality control process, upon which any sighting deemed not to meet our high standards is published anyway. The following sighting, however, is only being posted as an example of the kind of sightings we don't want to receive: Not only did it occur in Australia (just a smidge out of our required region of the greater LA area), it's pretty much the most blatant plug for two sound guys the world could care less about we've ever seen.

· Kate Hudson (on location in Port Douglas, Queensland Australia filming "Fool's Gold" for Warner Bros) seen having dinner with American sound engineers Brian McCarty & Jeff Wexler at Sea Temple Resort. McCarty & Wexler are preparing the Coral Sea Studios project for high end music and post-production recording. Wexler was sound mixer on Hudson's breakthru picture "Always Famous".

In today's episode: Bryan Singer; Jake Gyllenhaal; Clint Eastwood; Orlando Bloom; Oliver Stone; Lindsay Lohan and Monica Keena; Drew Barrymore; Rosario Dawson; Sandra Bullock and Jesse James; Patrick Dempsey; Kanye West; Thom Yorke; Bill Maher; Danny Masterson, Santino Rice; DJ AM and Nicole Richie; Tori Spelling; Ian Somerhalder; Anderson Cooper; Bryce Dallas Howard; Vincent Gallo; BJ Novak; Diedrich Bader; Jesse Spencer; Zelda Rubinstein; Marcellas Reynolds and Mr. And Miss Jay.

· Thursday, October 26 at about 11am
-Bryan Singer with a cadre of barely legal looking, skinny, baggy pants and t-shirted boys at Hugos in West Hollywood. I swear to God, there were a couple of them who didn't look a DAY over 15. It didn't make sense; as far as I know it IS a school day.

-Just as Singer was arriving with the boy caravan, Jake Gyllenhaal was just finishing up breakfast at Hugos. Not sure if they greeted each other.

· Tuesday, October 24th at Orso. Clint Eastwood in the back corner of the patio dining with a producer type. Very low key. Very classy. When a couple came up to him after he had finished his meal, he was very gracious, took time to talk to them and even gave them an autograph. Even my typically unimpressed boyfriend was slightly ga-ga over this sighting.

· Thursday night late @ Little Door on 3rd in Hollywood. Love this restaurant it's cute. So it must have been date night. Jake Gyllenhaal was seated next to a short sexy brunette @ a big table of friends. The two of them talked all night and were the last to leave. Marcellas Reynolds came in and joined a big table and made out all through dinner with an older German guy. My wife and I could tell he was German because all night long they spoke German and French @ the table while laughing and taking tons of pics.

· As I was leaving the Decemberists show at The Wiltern (10/21), I passed by a crowd of guys mostly in black, I kind of recognized one of them so I kept staring hoping one of them would look familiar. And lo and be hold I recognized the short greasy one: Orlando Bloom. He was wearing a fedora and chatting with some brunette, he looked pretty much the same as he does when he's 14 feet tall(minus the height).

· Just saw Oliver Stone on my elevator in non-descript building in Santa Monica. Looked typically rumpled in a "mad professor" kind of way—sport coat and glasses perched on his head. Couldn't tell if he was working on any conspiracy theories about the floors the elevator stopped on...

· Minding my own beeswax on Saturday afternoon, trying to work off the work out with a pomegranate margatini, I noticed Lindsay Lohan (dark hair, back from fashion week, apparently) and Monica Keena sitting on the patio at Basix. At the same table (not at the same table as me).

· saw drew barrymore at fred 62 in los feliz on sunday, rosario dawson sitting outside of the restaurant on monday.

· Watching the Ducks embarrass the Kings yesterday afternoon at Staples (10/22) we got to see Sandra Bullock and Jesse James smooching on the jumbotron during the famous "Kiss Cam" moment. Their on-screen kiss was tame, but once the cameras were off Bullock was in Jesse's lap for more romance.

· While on my daily commute from Santa Monica to Studio City, at about 8:45 am on Oct. 26, I merged from the 405 onto the 101 next to Dr. McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey) driving alone in his McDreamy silver sports car. He looked well put together in baseball cap, white button-down shirt and dark sweater vest. My wife and I (we were carpooling) followed him all the way down the 101, jockeying for a better view, which we got repeatedly (the wife has a giant crush on McDreamy; mine is only slightly less giant). He was talking and laughing on a cell phone most of the way. I don't know if he was headed into work or not, but he seemed blissfully unconcerned about any impending rendezvous with McChokey.

· Walking around The Grove today (10/22) I expected to see some celebrity sightings. I didn't go there for that reason, I just wanted to waste a Sunday afternoon and check out all the beautiful women that the warm weather would surely bring out. I was not disappointed on both accounts. Not long after I got there I spotted Kanye West on his way out. I'm 6' tall and of course expected him to be a bit taller but he was just an inch or two shorter than me. He walked past me with a friend of his and after he passed I did a 180 and sort of followed him, just to make sure it was him. When I caught up to him he was taking cell phone pics with some kids that recognized him. Seeing that he's from the South Side of Chicago and I had my White Sox baseball jersey on I thought he might give me some mad caucasian props but I was sorely mistaken. I didn't feel like approaching him like any other fan so I just looked at him, he looked at me and continued on. He got his Mercedes (McLaren SLR) from the Valet and zoomed off. Maybe next time I'll say something to him, and maybe next year my White Sox will make the playoffs.

· I don't know if this counts because I'm not sure that the celebrity in question is lame enough to be included in this. But, my husband and I had lunch at this hole-in-the-wall trattoria in Florence on 10/21. After about twenty minutes, I look up and realize that Thom Yorke from Radiohead is at the next table. He was with a British woman and a small girl. I assume that it was his partner and daughter because the little girl looked just like him. He seemed to be a pretty friendly, down-to-earth guy. We felt really bad because we had been eyeing their food trying to figure out what they had ordered before we even realized he was at the table! (Well, it looked good and it IS Italy, after all!) He must have thought we were staring at him the whole time. No one else in the place seemed to have any idea who he was, except for a few of the younger waiters, who shook his hand on the way out. . . .And for those of you who are wondering, he is just as googley-eyed in person.

· went to see 'The Departed' last Saturday night in Culver City. we were told that it was a sold out show, and there weren't many seats left. as we walked into the theater, i saw Bill Maher walking out. guess he didn't want to sit in the front seats. he had a beautiful African-American lady with him. not sure if it was a date, or a 'date'. was kind of surprised to see him in Culver City. maybe that's where his 'lady friend' lives? and even though i know he's on the short side, still surprised by his shortness.

· Danny Masterson, Santino Rice, and DJ AM and Nicole Richie on opposite sides of the room at Mickey Avalon's free show at Dragonfly Monday night, around 12:30am

I saw Tori Spelling coming out of A Pea In The Pod one block off of Rodeo Drive, with her husband looking one step away from K-Fed style greasiness. She also looked totally pregnant, and was totally showing it off in a cute maternity top. (10/19)

· Ian Somerhalder at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market last Sunday. He is sporting Boone's newer, longer hair 'do and he has extremely skinny legs. He was walking around with a regular-looking female and seemed to go unnoticed.

· Even though this sighting was in LA it's kind of more Gawker/Wonkette but I'll go for it — this morning at breakfast at the Peninsula hotel (how fancy am I?) saw ambiguously handsome Anderson Cooper. He had on a green t-shirt, jeans and boots and his shockingly gray hair was perfect. He's really cute, not that tall and was asking the front desk for something. I told the Belvedere hostess that we wanted to sit with him and she just gave me a blank stare. No sense of humor there but since their entire staff is on the National Enquirer payroll she was probably mad that I recognized him and was going to give the scoop to defamer first.

· A very pregnant Bryce Dallas Howard. at last Friday's 8:30 showing of "Flags of Our Fathers" at the Arclight.

· While waiting for a table at Hirozen on Monday night I saw Tyne Daly (but not Sharon Gless, sadly) with a table of much younger and more attractive people. Apparently I was the only one in the restaurant whose interest was remotely piqued by the thought of Det. Mary Beth Lacey (I admit I had to look that up on IMDB) chowing down on raw fish.

· Vincent Gallo ordering a Pink Berry frozen yogurt in West Hollywood/Huntly Drive - Saturday, Oct 21st. In jeans and a tank top t-shirt. Had scruffy hair and beard. Don't get why he can't seem to find the time to do a little grooming. About 5ft 10in. with pasty thin arms. The guy could use a little color.He's definitely got the "New York" guy type of body and not a California or certainly not a West Hollywood build. Don't really want to pick on him. He seemed a little alone and believe it or not...a bit lonely looking. I know that it's not a description that's normally applied to him. He was very low key. Okay..okay...I know the guy is off his rocker but for about two minutes I have to say he did appear vulnerable. Alright for fuck sake..once the drugs wear off I'm sure my perception will clear up.

· Tuesday, 10/17 at Taiyo (the little sushi restaurant on that section of Franklin Ave west of Bronson), BJ Novak (writer and co-star of the fabulous show The Office) dining with friends. He looked up at me as I walked by with the same deer-in-the-headlights expression that his character Ryan so often wears.

· Saturday, 10/21 at Whole Foods at 3rd and Fairfax, Diedrich Bader (I know he did something post-Drew Carey, but I can't think of it just now) with his son in the freezer section. The boy, blonde and adorable, was searching through the ice cream section for his mom's favorite flavor.

· Jesse Spencer at the CD/album release part for the "Evil Bong" soundtrack at Boardners last night. The cover gave me nightmares all night.

· Saw Zelda Rubenstein, on a booster seat, in my favorite Hollywood lunch spot, The Good Neighbor on Cahuenga West, on Wednesday the 25th. I've gotten twenty five years older, but she looks exactly the same.

· Due to its proximity to The Vivid Production Centre, I'm sure there are oodles of porn queens there all the time, but didn't seem to be any that day, not that I would know...

· Shopping @ the Beverly Center on Friday afternoon and who walks by but Marcellas Reynoldss and the 2 Jay's from America's Next Top Model. Marcellas was laughing with Miss Jay but Mr. Jay didn't seem to friendly.

• Paramount Sues Over Hijacked WTC Film [TSG]

Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 5:10 pm Post subject: Who hacked this forum over the weekend? I can't wait to see the conspiracy kooks tackle this one. So, what's your "theory?" Who hacked this board and why? Who is "turkman_69" and what are his/her motives/intentions? Who has a vested interest in shutting down this board? Who doesn't want us to see (let alone discuss) the upcoming United 93 movie? Discuss:

Since the poster is inviting "conspiracy kooks" to hold forth with their theories (not so fast, Charlie Sheen!), we'll float the idea that Paramount's crack viral marketing team is behind the defacement, and that translating the "Turkish" on the hack page yields the message, "Oliver Stone's World Trade Center promises to be both a more visceral and more compassionate treatment of the tragic events of 9/11. In theaters August 11th!"

• United 93 [united93movie.com]

• Courtney Love Reportedly Fails Drug Test [AP]
• Oliver Stone Enters Plea in Pot Charge [AP]

• Colin Farrell's Nutsack & Dick NSFW! [Queerclicks]

We love pop quizzes!

• Will 'Alexander' be greater on DVD? [LAT]

He's a former rising star with a Jack Nicholson jones, out to prove that when you've been hitting the bottle and feeling a little grab-assy in the Big Apple, no career is too cold for a public arrest.

He's West Coast. He's East Coast. Somehow, they've both given Smokey the slip, and during a hilarious mix-up at a Missouri truck-stop, they've been handcuffed together with only twenty-four hours to clear their names.

EXT. TRUCK STOP-DAY
Stone and Slater come tearing out of the greasy spoon and almost immediately find a nearby classic Mustang idling outside, the keys inexplicably left in the ignition. Stone heads for the driver's seat, but Slater yanks the cuff and stops him in his tracks.

SLATER: I think I'll drive.

A blonde hottie with legs up to her neck strolls by. Slater licks his lips and his hands reflexively snarl into ass-grabbing claws.

STONE: Not now.

They exchange knowing smiles, hop in the car, and peel rubber as they hit the open road.

They're Palz on the Run, and they're coming to a theater near you next summer. McG to direct (with every absurd camera angle second-guessed by Stone).

• Director Accused of DUI, Drug Possession [LAT]


• Christian Slater arrested on sexual harassment charge [CNN]

• Alexander: Bad Buzz Reaches Crescendo [Defamer]


• Jack Valenti Shares His Thoughts On Politics, Elves [Defamer]

• punk kids from Sweet VAL-ley High! [Hello Smithers Livejournal via Waxy.org]


• Alexander's Tragic Buzz Taints Angelina Jolie [Defamer]

"An accent that seems to have been borrowed from George Hamilton in 'Love at First Bite' … " (Associated Press, referring to Hamilton's Dracula role)

"Some sort of Germanic accent." (Indianapolis Star)

"Some wacky Natasha Fatale accent." (Long Beach Press-Telegram, alluding to the Russian secret agent of TV's "Rocky and Bullwinkle")

"Part Yiddish mama and part Natasha." (New York Times)

Interesting theories all. Our best attempt at describing Olympia's puzzling accent is, "Half-Russian, half-Afrikaaner galley wench midway through a peyote vision quest. Also, she spent a semester studying in London."

• Angelina Jolie's Latest Movie Role: Accent on the Inscrutable [LAT, reg. req'd.]


• Alexander Fallout: Colin Farrell Hated On In Blogosphere [Defamer]

"Nobody ever wa