Defamer
Dept Of Life Ruination
Posts Tagged “
mike darnell
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svengalis
Mike Darnell's Near-Perfect Batting Average Muffed By Passing On 'Big Brother: Muppet Edition'
Mike Darnell is the undisputed evil genius of reality TV, a fiendish Rumplestiltskin installed high atop a Fox tower, where he oversees day-to-day operations of that network's Dept. of Non-Scripted, Deluge-Summoning Entertainment. Ask anyone who has witnessed Darnell in action, and they'll describe how his mind never stops churning, processing the virtually limitless combinations of millionaires/ abandoned daughters/ homely women he can sequester on islands/ McMansions/ lie-detector-equipped soundstages, confident America will tune in to find out if they forget the lyrics/survive that reindeer attack/are dumber than a 5th grader. THR sat down with Darnell to find out what makes Satan's Primetime Minion tick:
Q: You're known for creating catchy titles. What do you look for?More »Mike Darnell: Something simple that grabs you. In the best cases, the title itself is enough to drive you to view the show with no footage and no promo...Length doesn't matter — I used to get in arguments about that all the time. All that matters is that it says what it is. [...]
family values
Mike Darnell Attempts To Make Amends For 'Moment' By Busting Deadbeat Dads
Just when we thought reality TV couldn't sink any lower, Fox has officially scraped the bottom of the cringeworthy barrel by ordering a JD Roth-produced pilot called Bad Dads. The series, originally titled Deadbeat Dads until Mike Darnell christened it with its new name, depicts divorced fathers who've refused to pay child support, ambushing them at their ritzy country clubs on camera and forcing them to pay up. Playing the Chris Hansen role is some guy from a child-protection agency, who will go so far as to "make their lives miserable - foreclose on their house...repossess their car...all for a noble cause"! Roth, the reality wunderkind behind The Biggest Loser and Beauty And The Geek, claims the series aims to provide "justice for women." Which sounds lovely, but how exactly will pointing out just how mean and "bad" men are week after week warm our hearts? More »
package-police brutality
'Moment of Truth' Creepily Obsessed With Dudes Who Stuff Their Shorts
Even if Fox's The Moment Truth never lives up to its Apocalypse-beckoning advance billing , the show will have provided a valuable service to the very society it's so far failed to destroy in exposing a disturbing deception far more widespread than we ever could have imagined: the artificial enhancement of male "packages" by means of designer jean/Dockers/mankini stuffing.
alternative programming dept
Fox's Evil Reality TV Mastermind Salivates At Very Thought Of Controversial Lie-Detector Show
In a mere two months, Fox President of Alternative Entertainment and Apocalypse-Beckoning Nonscripted Programming Mike Darnell will proudly debut his latest reality-TV abomination, The Moment of Truth, in which contestants are hooked up to a polygraph, asked a number of revealing personal questions, and then watch as their lives quickly disintegrate when millions of viewers listen to them sheepishly admit that they're no longer sexually attracted to their aging spouses. In an interview with TV Week, a giddy, tumescent Darnell shares that his naughty places haven't tingled like this since he tricked a mansion full of gold-digging women into believing that a dimwitted, part-time banana-hammock model was a filthy rich heir looking for a soulmate to help him enjoy his family fortune:
"Last time I felt like this was before 'Joe Millionaire,'" said Mike Darnell, sitting in his office wearing his trademark cowboy boots.More »
coming attractions
Japanese Still Leading Lagging American Networks In Reality TV Technology
Given envelope-pushing Fox reality guru Mike Darnell's recent contract extension and NBC rock star Ben Silverman's proven track record of repurposing the very best of foreign television for American audiences, we expect a heated bidding war for the rights to Japan's Joyous Marble-Smash Happy Funtime Challenge to begin momentarily. Our prediction is that Fox will prevail over the Peacock, and the late summer debut of the Jeff Foxworthy-hosted Can We Punch You In The Balls For A Hundred Dollars? will be an unqualified hit.
- Nut Shot Japanese Show [YouTube]
trade roundup
Zellweger To Be Sassy, Tough In Western
· Renee Zellweger will star with Viggo Mortensen and Ed Harris in the western Appaloosa, which we hope will provide ample opportunity for a spunky, bonnet-rocking Zellweger to fire a shotgun and exclaim, "You git outta my town, ya hear?" in the direction of the movie's "renegade rancher" antagonist. We love it when she does period gritty. [Variety]
· Fox's apocalypse-quickening reality TV guru Mike Darnell consolidates his power within the network by signing a new multiyear deal, officially giving him more autonomy to launch unscripted programming without the interference of other executives who believe that shows like Are You Smarter Than This Recent Massive Head Trauma Victim? might push the envelope a little too far. [THR]
· New Line's Russell Schwartz is ankling as the studio's head of marketing. We just hope that his replacement demonstrates a similar level of vision that will allow future, groundbreaking online promotions involving the performance of virtual cunnilingus on their movie heroes' wives. [Variety]
· Local news icon Hal Fishman, KTLA's anchor of more than 30 years, dies at 75. [THR]
· AMPAS is banning the mailing of For Your Consideration film score and song CDs, decreeing that the music needs to be evaluated in the context of the movie. Composers and studio music execs have begun the process of formally expressing their outrage, possibly by the mass burning of FYC screenplays in protest of the "out of context" principle that might limit voter access to their work. [Variety]
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