Diablo Cody Takes Us to Cafe Triste

Clint Eastwood Back In The Driver's Seat

· Clint Eastwood will direct and star in Gran Torino for Warner Bros. While details "are being kept under tantalizingly tight wraps," muscle car enthusiasts are hoping the grizzled star of Dirty Harry will be voicing the Laser Striped title vehicle. [Variety]
· Juno-seeder Michael Cera in talks to star in Universal's Scott Pilgrim's Little Life, an adrom (adventure romance) about "a young slacker (Cera) who meets the woman of his dreams but finds that he can only win her heart by battling and defeating her seven evil ex-boyfriends." [THR]
· Anton Yelchin is in talks to play the Michael Biehn role of Kyle Reese: Post-Apocalyptic Warrior in McG's meaninglessly titled Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins. [THR]

EW's Most 'Dateable' Small-Screen Players Make Us Swoon And Squirm

Every TV nut (well, isn't that all of us here?) has, at one point or another, spent a little time fantasizing about certain fictional characters on their favorite shows. These fantasies tend to be either soft-focus daydreams (say, dreaming up elaborate schemes in which they "bump" into you at a party) or something a bit more hard-core (picturing them while giving your significant other the old in-out). On that note, the clever list-makers over at EW decided to compile a Top 30 reader's choice collection of the small-screen boys and girls who most frequently make cameos in those illicit fantasies. But, with no offense to the site's readers, we have some serious vetoes to charge. After the jump, our picks for who falls under Strongly Agree (the predictable Jim Halpert) and those we brand as a Vehemently Disagree (four words: Bree. Van. De. Camp), as well as the most erroneous, mind-boggling oversight missing from the group:

Vince Vaughn Bundles Up For A Santa Monica Christmas

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Edward Norton looking so motherfucking gangsta at a RZA concert.

In today's episode: Vince Vaughn; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Edward Norton; Mandy Moore, Ryan Adams, Josh Kelley; Michael Cera and Maura Tierney; Ted Danson; Ellen Page; Robin Wright Penn, Tori Spelling, Scout Willis; Jason Schwartzman, Ron Livingston, and Elizabeth Reaser; Orlando Jones; Diahann Carroll; Wilford Brimley; Famke Janssen; Joel McHale; David Annable; Roma Maffia; Katherine Moennig; Sendhil Ramamurthy; Mystery and Alex Orbison. In England: Nicolas Cage.

No Country For Josh Brolin And Old Women In Wheel Chairs

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you secretly wished you had the balls of that creepy dude at The Grove Apple Store hitting on Gabrielle Anwar:

In today's episode: Josh Brolin; Al Pacino and Beverly D'Angelo; Jamie Lee Curtis; Michael Cera; Michael Keaton; Adam Brody and Scott Adsit; Faye Dunaway; Gabrielle Anwar; Joel Madden; Cynthia Watros; Becki Newton; and Rami Kashou.

Jake Gyllenhaal: Handsome, Soulful Astronaut

· Jake Gyllenhaal joins director Doug Liman on DreamWorks' Untitled Moon Project, in which Gyllenhaal is dispatched to populate a lunar colony with a super-race of dreamy-eyed pioneers. [Variety]
· NBC Universal is acquiring Oxygen Media, including the Oprahcentric Oxygen network, for $925 million, a piddling sum Winfrey will merely toss on the cash pile occupying much of her 25-acre Santa Barbara backyard. [THR]
· Pablo Escobar is the new Harvey Milk: Oliver Stone is producing his own biopic on the life of Colombia's most lovable drug-cartel kingpin, a project that will try to race into production ahead of the recently announced, competing Killing Pablo feature. [Variety]
· Lisa Kudrow joins the cast of "let's just squeeze in one more job before the strike" flick Hotel for Dogs, joining fellow speedy-paycheck-chasers Don Cheadle and Emma Roberts. [THR]
· Apatow Comedy College alumni Michael Cera and Kat Dennings sign on to star in a film adaptation of the novel Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. [Variety]

Apologetic Catherine Keener Tramples Fan At Wilco Concert

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Mike Tyson requesting earlobe-consistency mochi topping on his Pinkberry frozen dessert.

In today's episode: Catherine Keener; Leonardo DiCaprio and Kevin Connolly; Tommy Lee Jones; Jon Voight; Michael Cera and Mandy Moore; Ellen Barkin, Perry Reeves, and Eddie Kaye Thomas; Courteney Cox Arquette, David Arquette, and Powers Boothe; Kirsten Dunst, an Olsen twin, John Hawkes, Dayton Callie, Paula Malcomson, and Garret Dillahunt; Jonah Hill; Nicole Richie and Joel Madden; Adam Levine and Clea DuVall; Seth Green; Tim Meadows; Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart; Vanessa Williams and Rick Fox; Mike Tyson; Valerie Harper; Jeff Gordon, Dominick Dunne, and Rachel Zoe; and Suge Knight.

Fox Empowering Screenwriters, At Least Until It Figures Out New, Better Way To Screw Them

· These screenwriter people are so hot right now! Fox plans to offer the well-regarded members of the Writing Partners collective (including Ted "Pirates" Elliot and Terry "Of the Caribbean" Rossio, John "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" August, and others) a deal where they accept small upfront payments for their original specs in exchange for greater creative control and gross profit participation. It should be fun the first time Fox begs one the newly empowered writers to fire himself in favor of someone who can solve his third-act problems. [Variety]
· The Emancipation of Gigi continues apace: Gigi Levangie, the soon-to-be-former Mrs. Brian Grazer, will have her novel Maneater adapted into a Lifetime miniseries that the network hopes will put up numbers similar to the ones generated by her previous collaboration with USA on The Starter Wife. We hope we at least get another fun Wac-a-Mole-style game (Eat-a-Grazer?) out of it. [THR]
· The season three premiere of Weeds was the series' most-watched episode to date, boosting the fortunes of lead-out Californication, which became the highest-rated non-Kirstie-Alley comedy debut in Showtime's history. [Variety]
· Michael "George Michael" Cera, for whom we think virtually ever movie made should create at least a small role, will star in the adaptation of the C.D. Payne novel Youth in Revolt. [THR]
· Fox orders seven episodes of Nothing But the Truth, a gameshow in which contestants are hooked up to a lie detector and forced to answer humiliating personal questions as friends and family watch. Also, each detected lie will result in a Japanese man striking the unlucky dissembler in the genitals. [Variety]

Michael Cera's Inability To Take Direction Is Seth Rogen's Career Windfall