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short ends

Brad Pitt Getting Blown

· By the WIND, people. Get your minds out of the gutter! Bonus besteverness? Directed by David Fincher. [Creativity Magazine]
· Nerds rejoice! Guillermo del Toro has finally signed on to direct the long gestating LOTR prequel, The Hobbit. He will be spending the next four years (!!!) in New Zealand alternately shooting the film and polishing Peter Jackson's Oscars. [Variety]
· Speaking of hobbits, Elijah Wood's latest movie includes his first on-screen sex scene. Disturbingly, the scene involves spaghetti. No word yet if spaghetti sauce is also involved, but if it were, we hope they used Trader Joe's Organic Vodka Sauce. That's our fave. [Thighs Wide Shut]
· And since we've clearly got sex on the brain, here's video of a topless Mischa Barton straddling what looks to be the poor man's James Van Der Beek. The footage comes from some movie that, thanks to the magic of The Internets, you never have to actually see! [Egotastic]
· And lastly, Amy's Robot asks what could be the most important question of our times (or, at least, the last few hours): "Are you aware that Tina Fey's husband looks like this?" Actually, we did not. [Amy's Robot via Fimoculous]

5:40 PM on Thu Apr 24 2008
By Mark Graham
3,493 views, 4 comments

Latest by Benovite: That's her lawyer right? She's got a look on her face like 'yes believe it or not, one of the partners at a now defunct Queens law firm is in fact my husband.' Yikes! I love how David Fincher likes to more »

disaster of the week

'Valkyrie,' UA Not Just Another Cruise/Wagner Casualty, Say Cruise/Wagner

Michael Cieply's latest dispatch from the Tom Cruise beat inventories the wreckage from the mid-air collision that is Valkyrie and United Artists, including exclusive interviews with hobbled pilots Paula Wagner and Bryan Singer. For Singer's part, he's fine to let the film speak for itself if and/or when it's ever completed and released. But for Wagner, Cruise's UA partner and designated press scold, skeptics like us just! Don't! Get it! More »

11:30 AM on Wed Apr 23 2008
By STV
6,393 views, 14 comments

family feuds

Paramount, Showtime, CBS Spend Weekend Fighting in Grandpa Sumner Redstone's Sandbox of Death

While most of us fled the office to enjoy early spring, Sumner Redstone spent another relaxing weekend watching his corporate children at Viacom gouge each others' eyes out. And this time around he got his money's worth, with Paramount finally breaking free from CBS/Showtime to start its own pay-cable and VOD service with MGM and Lionsgate. It's an untidy, somewhat shocking scenario that we (and seemingly the rest of the Web) can't yet make sense of, but join us after the jump to parse the winners and losers at a glance. More »

10:00 AM on Mon Apr 21 2008
By STV
1,730 views, 2 comments

Latest by JacobFreeze: The Post [www.nypost.com] sees the evil hand of Philippe Dauman in this mess, but with Viacom and CBS stock prices collapsing since they split, it's probably more like the undead rehearsing for some kind of gruesome afterlife by biting each more »

the clip show

A Week Of False Terribles


As we put this week to bed, it's time to reflect, project, deflect and genuflect on the week that was...
· Big week for Gorgeous George Clooney. His passion project, Leatherheads,
disappointed at the box office (twice!), he was on the receiving end of a threatening phone call and his sand-loving girlfriend turned his bachelor pad into Yankee Candle outlet. Ah, who are we kidding? He can still pull digits with the best of 'em.
· Ellen Page butched it up on Leno and may (or may not!) have dissed Hanoi Jane.
· Certainly, Tom Cruise has had better weeks. MGM tried to spin Valkyrie's second release date pushback as a B.O. ploy, but we knew better.
· Artie Lange and Charlton Heston both had shitty weeks, too. Artie resigned from the Howard Stern Show and Charlton, well, he died.
· The hackiest hack that ever hacked, Uwe Boll, found himself on the wrong end of an online petition that might just end his career (fingers crossed!). Howevs, he was able to leverage the power of the internet to fight back ... twice!
· It was Musical Chairs week at Hollywood's biggest talent agencies. Bob DeNiro bolted from CAA (spurring a hilarious poison pen post from the Death Star), Nick Stevens led one of "the biggest agent migrations in years" when he bolted from UTA to Endeavor and a finch with a mean streak wreaked havoc at CAA shortly after Ashton Kutcher became the agency's newest client.
· Teri Hatcher and Clint Black learned that they're both better off sticking with their day jobs.
· After publicly (and somewhat shadily) announcing that he and his wife were victims of an alleged extortion attempt by his nanny, Rob Lowe displayed the keen ability to turn an adjective into a noun when he coined the term "false terribles."

7:00 PM on Fri Apr 11 2008
By Mark Graham
1,368 views, 3 comments

Latest by avocats: What exactly is wrong (shady) with Rob Lowe's anticipating and undercutting what certainly seems to be an opportunistic attempt to blackmail and harm him and his family? Seriously? Just because he's a celebrity, it's OK to attempt extortion? I don't more »

the day after

Tom Cruise's Career In Flames As 'Valkyrie' Melts Down

Yesterday, the troubled Tom Cruise/Nazi vehicle Valkyrie got pushed back — for a second time — from October to February 2009. MGM is painting the film's new release date as a golden holiday-weekend opportunity for the $90-million-plus historical drama, but it goes without saying this is beyond bullshit; no amount of spin from any of MGM boss Mary Parent's necktied monkeys can reclaim whatever traction Valkyrie might have had once upon a time. Its Cruise/Bryan Singer pedigree took its first hit when it was pushed back from summer '08 to fall ("Better Oscar chances!" we were told as Singer's reshoots pushed his budget and his star past their respective limits), and it now threatens to overtake Charlton Heston as this week's highest-profile celebrity casualty. "Valkyrie is dead," wrote David Poland at The Hot Blog. "There is no such thing as a good movie that gets moved from summer to fall to spring."

More »

10:30 AM on Tue Apr 8 2008
By STV
11,487 views, 31 comments

Latest by waitinformyman: But, really, why would they speak with a German accent? In reality, the events depicted in the film took place in Germany. So the people depicted would have spoken in German. Neither English with a German accent nor English without more »

release date shuffle

Delayed Flight of 'Valkyrie' a Good Sign, Says MGM

The craziest movie star in America is playing a Nazi colonel with one eye, one hand, and three fingers who tries to bomb the Fürher and take over the Third Reich, but instead kills everyone in the room but Hitler, and eventually dies by firing squad. What more could America want on PRESIDENTS' DAY WEEKEND?

We assumed when MGM first pushed back the July 4th release date of Valkyrie, the historical bore-ama directed by Bryan Singer, it was because they came to their senses about releasing a Nazi film on our country's most patriotic day. But the new date, October 3rd, was just so predictable. After all, that's when all the good dramas start coming out. And MGM wants no part of that crowd. After the days of damaged footage, injured extras, and endless re-shoots, the best thing for Valkyrie would surely be to push its release once more, right?

More »

5:45 PM on Mon Apr 7 2008
By Paula Dixon
3,099 views, 7 comments

the prodigal son

Tom Cruise Lunches With Sumner Redstone, Calls Dibs on DreamWorks' Parking Spots

In a rumored attempt at brokering the type of fragile, public peace not seen since the Camp David accords 30 years ago, Tom Cruise and Sumner Redstone apparently had lunch together Thursday at the Beverly Hills Hotel's Polo Lounge. Or so report spies for The Wall Street Journal and Page Six, alluding to the star's blockbuster drought since leaving Paramount. We didn't believe it at first, but when you think about it, wouldn't those soon-to-be-vacated DreamWorks offices at the 'Mount make a decent home for Cruise's fledgling United Artists revival?
More »

7:42 AM on Fri Mar 28 2008
By STV
2,936 views, 4 comments

Latest by spanktastic: Did they kiss and makeup? more »

parent trap

Boyter Flees New Line as MGM Bulks Up For The Future

The first New Line refugee has officially landed at MGM, where new president Mary Parent hired ex-NL development exec Cale Boyter to help iron out the resurgent studio's forthcoming production slate. The move signaled the latest hint that MGM chief operating officer Rick Sands — whose short-lived emphasis on library outsourcing and new media development was made essentially irrelevant by Parent's own recruitment two weeks ago — is himself looking for a new gig. More »

11:29 AM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By STV
637 views, Comment

walk of fame

Finally, The Munchkins Get Their Star

How in the great and powerful Oz's name it took this long to get the Munchkins a star on the Walk of Fame is beyond us, but today, that wrong was reversed, as seven of the nine surviving diminutive residents of Munchkinland were finally granted their rightful plot on Hollywood's legendary urine-stained road. (They've been especially busy around town lately, with three of them—Jerry Maren, Mickey Carroll and Karl Slover—handing out Dunkin' Donut Munchkin hole treats along with their support to WGA picketers outside NBC.) More »

5:45 PM on Tue Nov 20 2007
By Seth
2,271 views, 13 comments

Latest by redmanlaw: @padraigin: Munchkins are notoriously long lived, but I think that is true of anyone from Oz according to the original Baum books. I don't know whether mortals such as Dorothy, her aunt and uncle, Button Bright and the Wizard, more »

trade roundup

Breakout Spartan Gerard Butler Keeping His Agent Really Busy

· Gerard Butler, still red-hot following his career-making, washboard-ab-spotlighting turn in 300, will join Jodie Foster and Abigail "Im in Dakota's career, steelin her rolez" Breslin in the family adventure film Nim's Island, based on the popular children's book. [Variety]
· Out-of-work and aspiring comedy writers, it might finally be time to pull the ripcord and float to the safety of law school: the networks ordered precious few comedies for the new season, are terrified of the expense of still-faddish single-camera shows, and want to squeeze the life out of established sitcoms for fear of a writers strike. Get out while your LSAT scores are still valid. [THR]
· MGM is dangerously close to getting into the Rob Schneider business. [Variety]
· ABC declined to pick up their Mr & Mrs Smith adaptation, triggering a contractual option that will allow studio Regency TV to start shopping the Alphabet's sloppy pilot seconds to other networks. [THR]
· Mexican filmmaking BFFs Alfonso Cuaron, Guillermo del Toro, and Alejandro Gonzales Inarritu have signed on to do five movies with Universal and Focus Features, establishing a production company called (really) cha cha cha. [Variety]

1:20 PM on Fri May 18 2007
By Mark
1,303 views, 8 comments

Latest by phil anderson: @Everybody Likes Pandas: Yeah, I did some research myself. Apparently in the book its open-ended as to whether or not there's romantic involvement. I doubt any will play out in the film version only because it's Jodie Foster. If more »

trade roundup

Trade Round-Up: Busy Mom Leah Remini To Juggle Family, Cellphones, Cheap Shampoo

· ABC acquires the rights to a "special" described as a "real-life version of The Queen" drawn from "hundreds of hours of footage" of the monarch and royal family, or as such a project was once called, a "documentary." [Variety]
· King of Queens' Leah Remini will star in the "groundbreaking" web series In the Motherhood, the story of three mom girlfriends who struggle to find novel ways to incorporate the fine personal grooming and telecommunications products of joint sponsors Suave and Sprint into their hilarious adventures in advertainment. [THR]
· Var rounds up how the various networks reacted to yesterday's Virginia Tech massacre, including the fact that an unexpectedly sensitive Fox has yanked a new Bones episode that dealt with "human remains being uncovered on a college campus." [Variety]
· Hollywood Out of Ideas, Irene Cara Edition: MGM will sink $25 million into a remake of Fame, hoping that a generation being raised to believe that success is achieved through serial vagina-flashing and assiduous nightclub attendance can relate to an old-fashioned story about people trying to achieve recognition through actual talent and hard work. [THR]
· Dancing with the Stars: One-Legged Tango Edition and The Bachelor: Another Boring, Horny Guy Who's Never Going To Marry Any Of These Fame-Hungry Skanks lead ABC to a Monday night Nielsen win. [Variety]

1:28 PM on Tue Apr 17 2007
By Mark
1,274 views, 3 comments

Latest by Miss d: If the networks were at all responsive to 'sensitive' events... they'd be all broadcasting test patterns... I give it a week before someone starts scripting a based on 'real-life' TV movie "The Quiet One - the Virginnia Tech massacre" Or maybe they more »

rocky balboa

Stallone: Jesus Is My Co-Writer

While Sylvester Stallone's efforts on behalf of Rocky Balboa have so far been mostly comprised of guilting potential audience members into seeing his movie by asking them to give an old, broken down action star a second chance at success in a youth-obsessed Hollywood, he's now taking his pandering in a new and potentially lucrative direction. Writes an operative, who for reasons unknown to us was watching The 700 Club earlier today: More »

1:48 PM on Tue Dec 19 2006
By Mark
247 views, 10 comments

short ends

Short Ends: Promise Of Free Food Lures Out-Of-Work Actors To 'Rocky Balboa' Premiere

· At last night's premiere of Rocky Balboa, star Sylvester Stallone and pals Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Patrick Swayze, Dolph Lundgren, and Christian Slater briefly gathered by the bar to share a few laughs about the good old days, but quickly scattered when Slater began his pitch for a six-way buddy comedy about a bunch of past-their-prime actors who enroll in the Police Academy together. [Note to MGM: We will sue if you put this into development.]
Q: "What has seven legs, male and female reproductive organs and nub antlers?" A: We don't know, but didn't it just get into Eddie Murphy's car on Santa Monica Boulevard? [via Boing Boing]
Amy Poehler's breasts are now a matter of public record, but at least her baby factory is still locked down.
We're going to be really depressed if this amazing video turns out to be some kind of viral ad for Famima pork buns. Which, we might add, are totally delicious. More »

6:31 PM on Thu Dec 14 2006
By Mark
1,215 views, 12 comments

Latest by Bon Jour, Pee Wee: Call me crazy, but I'd still 'hit it' with Bruce. more »

sylvester stallone

Stallone Guilts The Public, Part II: Going Back For Seconds And Thirds

A couple of weeks ago, Sylvester Stallone appeared in the pages of the NY Times to guilt fans into going to see Rocky Balboa by framing their ticket purchase as a message sent to Hollywood that it can't dispatch him and his contemporaries to the Faded Action Stars Retirement Home before they're good and ready to go. Stallone now reappears in the new issue of Newsweek with more heartstring tugs meant to loosen moviegoers' purse strings: More »

6:59 PM on Mon Dec 11 2006
By Mark
236 views, 8 comments

Latest by WaldoFeathers: I love Sylvester Stallone. He needs to work more because he deserves to. But he might want to stop talking about why he isn't and why he assumes others don't think he is. more »

weinsteins

Holiday Release Schedule Shocker: Harvey Weinstein To Put Out Christmas-Themed Slasher Movie On Day That Makes Good Marketing Sense

On her blog, the LA Weekly's Nikki Finke unloads both barrels on the Weinsteins and MGM for their decision to open Yuletide-themed horror movie Black Christmas on Christmas Day, a crass attempt to corrupt the purity of the holiday by luring teenagers away from their families and into the multiplex, where Hollywood expects them to celebrate the miracle of Jesus' birth by watching the evisceration of nubile sorority girls instead of unwrapping next-generation video game consoles. Says Finke: More »

11:02 AM on Mon Dec 11 2006
By Mark
342 views, 21 comments

Latest by Brad: It's nice to see this movie flopped. Not because of when it was released, and not because it offended Christians, but simply because it was a lousy movie barely worth Torrenting, and releasing it on Christmas Day was a last-ditch more »

trade roundup

Trade Round-Up: Disney Animators Getting Pinkslips For Christmas

Disney announces that it lay off 160 employees from their feature animation unit (Pixar workers are safe) in the next couple of weeks, generously offering newly superfluous employees an opportunity to spend much more time with their families during the holidays. [Variety]
Comedy Central orders six episodes of the Amp'd Mobile-originated animated comedy series Lil' Bush: Resident of the United States, a move that will surely send basic cable copycats scrambling to misguidedly snatch up the rights to whatever wallpapers and ringtones they find on their children's cellphones. [THR]
Foreign audiences once again prove they're not interested in seeing any film (not even the one with the rats going down the toilet!) but Casino Royale, which takes the international box office crown with $44.7 million, raising its worldwide total to $312.4 million. [Variety]
CBS extends David Letterman's contract through 2010, ensuring that Letterman will remain on the air longer than Jay Leno, who will be replaced on the The Tonight Show by Conan O'Brien in 2009 unless he discovers a way to quietly dispose of his youthful usurper. [THR/AP]
· Kevin Spacey finds a leading man for his MIT card-counting pet project 21, relative unknown Jim Sturgess. Spacey will produce, and may opt to play the lead's mentor himself. Please, no "Spacey mentors up-and-coming actor" jokes. You're far too classy for that. [Variety]

11:24 AM on Mon Dec 4 2006
By Mark
573 views, 6 comments

Latest by The Gen X Eurotrash Jetsetter Club: Can I at least make a Kevin Spacey playing someone he shouldn't in one of his own projects jokes? And does the mentor sing? more »

sylvester stallone

Stallone Tries To Guilt Public Into Seeing New 'Rocky' Movie

MGM and Revolution Studios have devised an inspired strategy for marketing Rocky Balboa, the sixth, not exactly long-awaited installment in the saga of cinema's most celebrated, cauliflower-eared pugilist: dispatching Sylvester Stallone to influential media outlets equipped with quotes depressing enough to both distract potential audience members from the ridiculousness of a premise involving a sexagenarian boxer making a comeback based on an X-box fighting simulation and to recast his participation as a valiant struggle against an industry that forces early retirement upon its aging stars. A melancholy Stallone tells the NY Times, in hopes of inspiring some guilt-induced ticket purchases: More »

1:58 PM on Tue Nov 21 2006
By Mark
808 views, 14 comments

Latest by boxing_helena_montana: I think he's probably talking about the Cleveland Steamers that he used to drop on Bridgette. more »

trade roundup

Trade Round-Up: New Line Prepared To Throw Hobbit Movie Into Hottest Volcano In Mordor

Producer New Line, distributor MGM, and Peter Jackson are locked in an epic battle over who has control over The Hobbit after Jackson declares that he's not willing to talk about directing the film until New Line coughs up the Lord of the Rings profits they've allegedly screwed him out of, while New Line counter-threatens to press on without him, a move that would almost certainly result in global fanboy riots. [Variety]
At the International Emmys, "very concerned" parent Steven Spielberg warns that semen-splattered corpses on CSI and people being sliced in half on Heroes might not necessarily be the best things for children to watch. [THR]
Heroes puts up the best 18-49 demo ratings that NBC's seen all season, throwing a spotlight on the momentum-stopping performance of Studio 60's Very Special Episode on the evils of product placement. [Variety]
· Nearly three years later, the FCC and CBS are still fighting over Janet Jackson's nipple. Thanks a lot, Timberlake. [THR]
Anne Hathaway is "close" to signing on to play Agent 99 to Steve Carrell's Maxwell Smart in Get Smart adaptation for Warner Bros. [Variety]

12:36 PM on Tue Nov 21 2006
By Mark
157 views, 1 comment

Latest by raincoaster: Please not Hathaway. PleasenotHathaway. PleasenotHathawayPleasenotHathawayPleasenotHathaway more »