Defamer: Meredith Vieira

Martha Stewart Is No Lush, But She Sure Loves Getting Talk Show Hosts Trashed

Molly Friedman — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:05:50 PDT

After gleefully watching along as Martha Stewart doused Conan O'Brien with all sorts of lush-inducing cocktails, from Guinness to gin to mystery concoctions, we put on our thinking caps and sorted through our clip-clustered memories. After we cleared the cobwebs a bit, we remembered that this wasn't the first time Martha shared her love of liquor with television hosts. Loyal Defamer readers will recall her 8am rise-and-shine mixers with Meredith Vieira on The Today Show last month, and insomniacs will certainly remember her booze-on-the-brain appearance on The Late Show last week (in which she listed at least four indecipherable drinks she calls her "favorites"). But her fondness of ladylike cocktails doesn't stop there. Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer put together a burp-filled mashup of our favorite Professional Housewife's alcohol-drenched appearances of late; as always, video is available the jump.

Whether she's introducing her audience to the magic of whiskey sours, or waxing enthusiastic about her love of vodka to Mer, or simply listing every single drink imaginable to poor perplexed Dave (um, did she really just say "wine spitzer"? We knew she had a funny bone, but among all the Luv Guv-related scandalicious terminology thrust at us from every media outlet we tune in to, that's gotta top our lists), Martha is no longer just the Queen of napkin-folding and flower arrangements. We're hiring her to bartend our next birthday party.

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW [Official Site]

Martha Stewart and Meredith Viera Jumpstart Their Day With Booze For Breakfast

mollyf — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:15:19 PST

Why the Today Show waited so long to combine massive martinis, Meredith Vieira and Martha Stewart into a segment is beyond us. After watching two of the most regal small screen dames tip back an early morning stiff one, we're ready to hand the producers a Daytime Emmy. The festivities began with Martha calmly asking Meredith if she'd prefer gin or vodka in her martini (no Cosmos for these boozehounds), Meredith got all flustered and said, "Uhhhh, whatever you recommend?!" Martha's suggestion? "I like vodka!"

Moments later, a pacified Meredith takes a look at a big ol' bottle of Bombay and announces, "I love the blue bottle!" Aging daytime diva antics aside, look out for an eerie moment when Martha's shaky robotic hand "chills" the martini glass. This is the first time we realized that not everything she touches turns to stone. Make sure to catch the end, when Meredith (are we sure she didn't down at least three of these things before taping?) utterly fails Straining 101, spilling ice cubes all over the set, herself and a visibly perturbed Martha. Shudder.

Report: NBC Paying $1 Million To Record Paris Hilton's First Post-Jail Crocodile Tears

Mark — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 08:50:15 PDT

It feels like only yesterday that Paris Hilton was re-jailed after one magical night of luxuriating in the freedom of home-imprisonment, but the moment when she finally emerges from an unjust incarceration and shines as a Mandelaesque beacon of hope to all of those affected by Los Angeles County's oppressive system of celebutardtheid is nigh. And when Hilton exits the Century Regional Detention Facility sometime next week, she will need to be greeted by a television camera and a friendly face to ease her transition into her new role as Goodwill Ambassador for Stuff She Cares About Now.

According to a report in today's NY Post, that friendly face will belong to Today show personality Meredith Vieira, who in addition to lending a sympathetic ear to the tale of Hilton's harrowing, weeks-long confinement, will be carrying a burlap sack filled with $1 million in cash. This news should certainly come as a shock to family friend and confidant Barbara Walters, the vessel through whom Paris so memorably transmitted the story of her jailhouse conversion from "dumb girl" to God-fearing, compassionate fabricator of playhouses for sick children. As we write these words, an enraged Walters is cashing in some favors to get a personal message delivered to the disloyal inmate, who will discover that today's bologna sandwich is slathered in a special broken-glass mustard and comes with a note reading, "You are fucking with the wrong bitch, little girl. We'll be exclusively seeing you on The View very soon, or that million bucks won't even cover the repairs to that pretty face of yours."

In other Hilton news: Paris's menagerie continues to be ill-tended in her absence, and she's keeping busy in prison by corresponding with her fan.

NBC'S $1M DEAL FOR PARIS CHAT [NY Post]
Previously: WeHo Residents Girding For Next Week's Hilton-Related Media Invasion [Defamer]