Defamer
Matthew McConaughey
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The Infamous Matthew McConaughey Flip-Flop Losing Incident: The Video!
It was the tribal rump-humping that would incite a beach-dwellers' Civil War. (OK, maybe not directly, but dotted-lines can be drawn.) In its path—a thousand Nicaraguan signoritas' hearts, mashed into a fine pulp. Of what do we speak? Why, Mashew McDonauhdgrl's flip-flop displacing Firewater Demon Dance of Handsy Pasión, of course! And thanks to the fee-meeting blurry-cellphone-video-producers at TMZ, we can finally catch the glimpse of the star of 8000 forgettable romcoms, caught red-handed as he...uh...kinda shakes his butt to the beat, sweats profusely, and doesn't come into direct contact with anyone else. Sssssscandalous.Swindlers, Sex Tapes And Coreys
· Things we learned at the Los Angeles Film Festival this week. School Of Rock 2 isn't a pipe dream. Guillermo del Toro isn't going to milk The Hobbit. Women deserve equal talk show hosting rights, too. Nobody wanted to make Animal House. Chris Carter is as secretive as ever. Did somebody order stake?
· The battle between the Paps and the Surfs was kinda like the Greasers versus the Socs, only with the newly blackberry-less Matthew McConaughey playing the role of Dally. But what of the rematch?
· Mini-Me showed the world his mini-me, which should help him knock down that large tax debt.
· Raffaello Follieri, Anne Hathaway's sketchball ex, got pinched for attempting to defraud God. A judge set bail at $21 million, but who's gonna take care of the dog?
· Mary Kate Olsen de-pruned herself long enough to convince Dave Letterman that her old arch enemy Spencer Pratt is, indeed, a prat.
· No one was safe as we counted down the Hollywood's Top Ten Worst Kissers.
· Wall-E manged to get fatties and Republicans up in arms without saying a word.
· Whoa, who raped the Coreys? One mystery solved, one to go.
· AC Slater found himself embroiled in Chesthairgate.
· The Emasculation of Joshua continued, as Katherine Heigl used her whipped husband as an ashtray and made him curl her hair. Joshua did not escape unscathed.
· You can ongratulate Jason Bateman on the impending Arrested Development movie, but be sure you don't bring up pregnant teens.
· We had a dream. We had an awesome dream. Mainly b/c it was filled with lesbian werewolves.
·: Noted blog-hater Patrick Goldstein entered the blogosphere. We can only guess how many of his 1,100 pageviews came from his IP address.
· Which groovy comedy superstar is openly courting other men to touch his monkey? Perhaps they should frequent the Fox and Sony lots?
· Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits. We'll miss you, George.
Party Beast
More Details On Matthew McConaughey's Boozy Nicaraguan Nights: Did A Late-Night Tryst Turn Ugly?
As we sadly noted earlier this month, soon-to-be-dad and LA’s resident surfing community iconoclast Matthew McConaughey had quite the rambunctious stay in Nicaragua earlier this month, “dirty-dancing” his way through every girl at a bar and drunkenly diving into sewage ditches searching for his beloved flip-flops. But more details about the chest-baring rabblerouser’s boozy nights are now coming out, and despite his endless attempts to kiss and “put the make on every woman in his path,” McConaughey reportedly wound up going home with two male bar buddies instead. And his two new guy pals in question made it all the way to his hotel room. What happened once the threesome got there, after the jump. More »
Beach Wars
When You're A Pap, You're A Pap All The Way
100 years from now, history buffs will return to the Paradise Cove beachhead decked in period-appropriate costume, thrilled to recreate that region's legendary battle between the Paps and the Serfs. It was a war that began, like so many others, over the honor of an object of astonishing beauty: In this case, that would be Matthew McConaughey—their flip-flop-misplacing Helen of Troy. The surfing battle wages, having migrated online:
A cyber-rumble has erupted on the Web site of the X17 photo agency, where video of the attack was posted. More than 1,000 angry back-and-forth comments between the lensmen and the surfers have been logged, including one urging paparazzi to "rendezvous next Saturday in the same spot. 50 paps are going to meet u there. Good luck and enjoy the high waves.More »
Battle At Paradise Cove: Matthew McConaughey's Surf-Toughs Pummel Beach Paps
The heat, a killer surf, and a clear shot of Hollywood's favorite shirt-eschewing leading man was a recipe for disaster this weekend. Having returned from his recent Nicaraguan escapades a proud flop-owner in search of his missing flip, Matthew McConaughey combated our city's punishing heat wave by hitting the tasty breaks of Malibu's Paradise Cove. It was there that several upstanding members of our city's paparazzo community—hoping to catch that elusive, $1 million photo of McConaughey hanging toes to the nose while clutching his newborn—were confronted, and ultimately assaulted, by an intimidating and unruly mob of board-shorted surfing henchmen. From the LAT:"They formed a semicircle in front of his camera and they said they didn't want him to film," said Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve Whitmore. "They got into an argument, and he indicated that he received injuries. . . . [They] took the video camera and threw it in the water." [...]More »
Wastin' Away Again
'Ahm Mashew McConauhdgrl--Ahm Gonna Be Daddee!!!'
We once pledged that impending fatherhood would do nothing to tame the mighty, freespirited party-beast that is Hollywood's most sought-after torsobitionist, Matthew McConnaughey. Loath as we are to deliver a pinky-flinging, double-shaka "we told you so" sign—well, we told you so:
More »The Fool's Gold star was in San Juan Del Sur, Nicaragua, on June 6 drinking himself into a near-stupor at the Iguana Bar, while groping and hitting on a number of women, Star has learned.
Stunt Dating
Three Reasons Why We Don’t Buy The Kate Hudson And Lance Armstrong Love Story
Only days after rumors surfaced that the on-and-off relationship between Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson had switched back to Off, the Stallion was seen preying on new anonymous blondes in New York City while lovelorn Kate was allegedly recuperating from the split. So naturally, the news that Hudson picked herself back up and found a new paramour in the fit form of one-ball wonder Lance Armstrong is slightly comforting. But after reading the details surrounding the pair’s so-called dates and blooming “romance,” we aren’t biting. The three clues in particular that leave us seated while others jump to conclusions, after the jump. More »
There’s no shortage of sleazy surprises in the world of baby picture pimping. Today, TMZ reports that soon-to-be-dad Matthew McConaughey and his model girlfriend Camila Alves have hired an actual agent to auction off photos of their upcoming newborn’s visage to the major glossies. And the “brand agent” in question, Todd Shemarya, has quite a record — he’s the man behind Brangelina’s record-setting deal with People, and Christina Aguilera’s far less pricey cover with the same weekly. As disturbed as we are that such a man exists, we’re more saddened to learn that former nude bongo player and hairy beach hippie McConaughey would cash in on his first kid. We're actually starting to miss the hobo doing push-ups outside a trailer we'd grown accustomed to. Then again, the $1MM that he's reportedly been offered by three separate spawn-obsessed mags can buy a lot of t-shirts. [TMZ]
hero overdose
'Ant-Man' Cometh, and More Fallout From 'Iron Man''s Golden Weekend
Gosh, Marvel Studios, just take a minute to chew your food, would you? Less than 24 hours after its debut picture Iron Man finished a $100 million opening weekend, studio boss David Maisel was all over town announcing Marvel's forthcoming slate — through 2011. As we noted yesterday, an Iron Man sequel is naturally to follow on April 30, 2010, while an adaptation of Thor will drop that same summer on June 10. It gets fairly outrageous from there: The First Avenger: Captain America appears May 11, 2011, followed by The Avengers — combining Iron Man, Captain America, The Incredible Hulk and Thor a mere two months later. (The studio says its sitting out 2009 as a result of a development lag left over from the writers strike.)
And there's more: "Ant-Man also is in development," notes Variety, "with Edgar Wright attached to write and direct, but that project has yet to be dated." And some fucking crackhead fanboy just started a rumor that Matthew McConaughey leads the candidates to portray Captain America. And then, after the jump, there's the Iron Man Oscar hype. Jesus Christ — stop the Marvel gossip mill already, we want off.
More »
nice bongos
Kate Hudson's Dress Makes Londoners 'Seasick', Matthew McConaughey Horny
Despite the fact that only a couple of fools went to see Fool's Gold when it opened Stateside back in February, stars Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are still dutifully promoting the film over in London. And McConaughey is still dutifully making a fool of himself. The dad-to-be didn't strip down and play naked bongos on the red carpet, but he did have trouble keeping his eyes off Hudson's satin-clad new curves. Curves which managed to leave everyone feeling "seasick" due to her green gown clashing with a gimmicky blue carpet. Kate's solution? Revisit those Lessons We All Learned In College and maneuver into a new dress in the confines of a "loo" stall! More »
technical issues
Kate Hudson Latest Recipient Of A Digital Boob Job
Shocking (shocking!) news has surfaced that yet another flat-chested actress was deemed not voluptuous enough for her movie poster. The lusty marketing team behind Fool's Gold are not fools; they realized that Kate Hudson's no Lindsay Lohan in the breast department. To that end, The Daily Mail is reporting that Hudson's natural A-cups were boosted up to Bs in promotional pictures for the film, possibly in an effort to give Matthew McConaughey's pecs a run for their money. But Kate's not the only cleavage-challenged actress that's been digitally bazoomed on a poster. Anyone remember the titular tales behind Keira Knightley, Jessica Alba, Emma Watson and yes, even Lindsay Lohan's digital enhancements? We do!
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endorsements
Nothing Gets Between Matthew McConaughey And His Shirtlessness Except Dolce & Gabbana Cologne
When you think about it, there was really nowhere else for Matthew McConaughey to go with his career besides fragrance pitchman. Having already drained Hollywood of every last romcom spec requiring frequent toplessness of its male lead, the Texan matinee idol is now veering into entirely new multi-million-dollar payout realms to further explore his torso-exposing art.
More »
monday morning box office
Matthew McConaughey Removes Shirt, Earns Top Spot At Box Office
As the fuzzy memories of drunkenly shaving MAMA into the back of your head following Kanye West's moving Grammy tributes to his mother slowly come into focus, have a look at the weekend box office numbers:
1. Fool's Gold - $22.010 million
Though the reunion of How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days co-stars Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey did healthy business over another slow, pre-Oscars weekend, we feel like it's time that the onetime Sexiest Man Alive leave easy-money gigs like Fool's Gold behind and start seeking out more ambitious projects that better utilize his staggering gifts.
snake stories
