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Mark Wahlberg
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Mark Wahlberg Skips Premiere Party, Would Rather Watch Hoops Than 'The Happening'
Call it a midlife crisis, queasiness or just sheer boredom, but good soldier Mark Wahlberg may have finally reached his leading-man saturation point with The Happening. It was bad enough that the gossips attribute his persistent new jitters to his work with "that scary motherfucker Manoj" Night Shyamalan, or that the actor fled Tuesday's premiere and afterparty to watch his Celtics battle the Lakers in the NBA Finals. But no on-screen spookiness could prepare him for the terrifying onslaught of questions about his past with the Funky Bunch:
What about a reunion with the Funky Bunch who are also reportedly getting back together? "Not a f—ing chance," he told me.More »
manojwatch
'The Happening' Finally Screens For Critics And The Results Are Not Pretty
ManojWatch has been underway at Defamer long enough to know that the director's latest, The Happening, faces a bit of an uphill climb when it reaches theaters at last this Friday. But while previously we'd only had one anonymous review and a pair of introspective pre-mortems with the "press-shy" Shyamalan — the latest appearing yesterday in the LA Times — the film officially screened for press for the first time on Sunday evening. Naturally 20th Century Fox lost our invitation (and thus, we suppose, instructions for a review embargo — we'll never know!) in the mail, but we heard from a reviewer who was there and has new word on Manoj's Folly:
The only big observation I would add to the earlier review it is that The Happening doesn't deserve as many words as the tipster gave to it. The film fails in every respect, but it's also really, really boring. The conflict follows such a simple outline and the plot structure dissipates after a few minutes, and you're left with a bunch of people on the road fleeing an invisible force for the rest of the running time: Little Miss Sunshine as a horror film. It's bad, but not even ambitious enough for viewers to enjoy the stinking muck.
Yikes. More spoilerrific details, including background on Shyamalan's First! Ever! R-rating! after the jump.
More »
Whether it's the work of just one Manosh-targeting vandal or a number of copycat subway saboteurs, the one thing we know about The Happening adbusting is that we find it fucking hilarious. After New York public transit patrons were left wondering what twist and turns lay at the end of The Penis (spoiler alert: balls!), they now have a whole new slew of questions regarding a Friday the 13th release called, chillingly, The Crapening. [copyranter]
turkeys in the making
Ego Consumes M. Night Shyamalan in Latest, Not-So-Twist Ending
Antipathy toward Manoj Night Shyamalan was easy after Lady in the Water, but the slip-sliding trajectory of his upcoming eco-thriller The Happening has our hearts suddenly and surprisingly enlarged with pity. After a while, there's only so much you can hold against a guy whose actors' line readings are scarier than his plot, who unironically claims he's got something on The Exorcist and whose latest double-shot of bad buzz suggests Shyamalan's days as Genius Autocrat Brat are spiraling to a close. For starters, the flagging Manoj Mystique™ gets the point-counterpoint treatment in today's NY Times: More »
famous last words
What's the Last Thing You'd Say if M. Night Shyamalan Killed You Off?
From last week's revelations about his new "90-minute paranoia film" The Happening to his latest disclosure to USA Today that the movie is "terrifying," M. Night Shyamalan is full of surprises for the first time in years, The concept, that is — not necessarily the execution. And as usual, his enticements have us asking all kinds of questions from the womb-like remove of our Manoj-free sanctum:
"It is an extremely scary movie. This is meant to scare you," the Indian-born director told reporters Monday. ... Mark Wahlberg plays a schoolteacher on the run from a natural disaster that threatens the entire world.More »
the full monty
Jason Segel Enters Exclusive Full-Frontal Male Nudity Club In 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'
Judd Apatow has fulfilled his promise to "shake Americans from their squeamishness about male anatomy in movies" by featuring Forgetting Sarah Marshall star Jason Segel completely nude in the movie's pivotal break-up scene. And as the LAT pointed out yesterday, Segel's manhood provides the film's "most captivating screen presence" (sorry, Kristen Bell). But Apatow and his cool comedy clique aren't the first ones to boldly focus their cinematic lens on male actors' full frontal displays. We took a look back on Segel's predecessors to showcase other (pun intended) ballsy big-screen cameos by the likes of Bruce Willis and Ewan McGregor after the jump. Just a warning, this is NSFW. More »
Remember all the "creative differences" this, and "he got way too fat" that flying around after Ryan Gosling abruptly left The Lovely Bones? That was all much ado about nothing, says he! It was simply yet another example of the director having gone too young: "I think, people are making it a far more interesting story than it actually is," he says. "The age of the character versus my real age was always a concern of mine. Peter and I tried to make it work and ultimately it just didn't. I think the film is much better off with Mark Walhberg in that role. Peter Jackson is an incredible filmmaker and I'm here to tell you that he has things up his sleeve that are going to blow peoples' minds. I'm going to be the first person in line to buy tickets." Do the bones dance? Is there a giant-ape/T-Rex battle? Who cares! We're there! [Parade]
inside the creative differences
'Lovely Bones' Shocker! Ryan Gosling Accused Of Eccentricity
Sensing that there might be more to yesterday's announcement that Ryan Gosling's sudden departure from Peter Jackson's The Lovely Bones adaptation than a friendly disagreement over competing visions for the film, the sleuths of Page Six dig deeper into this new Hollywood mystery, unearthing disturbing allegations of personality clashes and actorly eccentricity. Egads, we say!
THOSE old "creative differences" are to blame for director Peter Jackson's firing of Ryan Gosling from "Lovely Bones." "Peter couldn't stand Ryan," said one source.More »
trade roundup
Brad Pitt To Form Ab Dream Team With Mark Wahlberg
· It's a Hollywood abs-off! Extravagantly six-packed superstar Brad Pitt is in talks to replace Matt Damon and appear opposite famously washboarded former underwear model Mark Wahlberg in the Darren Aronofsky boxing drama The Fighter. Shirts will be doffed, and stomach muscles menacingly flexed! [Variety]
· NBC orders four episodes of the Christmas-themed reality show, Clash of the Choirs, in which celebrities return home to assemble armies comprised of their towns' best amateur singers, then pit these muscial warriors against each other in a primetime TV deathmatch. [THR]
· In perhaps today's most touching news, Katherine Heigl options the rights to adapt bestseller Lost & Found, a project she will produce with the very same mother who didn't believe she would win that Emmy. [Variety]
· Light-fingered sometime actress Winona Ryder joins the ensemble cast of the big-screen adaptation of novelist Bret Easton Ellis's The Informers. [THR]
· And this one is going right on our Season Pass list: VH1 is planning the series Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, where the Loveline physician will help former reality stars get off the drugs and back to dealing with their semifame in a more healthy manner. [Variety]
cannes
Breaking: Shipping Hollywood To French Resort Town Ridiculously Expensive
It should surprise no one to discover that launching a film at the Cannes festival is an absurdly expensive proposition, as the overseas export of Hollywood's auto-fellating promotional machinery requires the transport, lodging, and constant pampering of scores of entitiled executives, talent, and hangers-on pressed into movie-pimping duty. (Publicists and other support staff, of course, sleep 30 to a motel room and subsist only on the croissant crumbs they brush off their betters' tuxedo lapels on the red carpet.) In looking at the costs associated with properly debuting at Cannes, the LAT notes that at least one maverick studio is doing what it can to halt the budget-destroying insanity: More »
hollywood privacywatch
Sean Penn Cruises Near Beverly Hills Real Estate Boom Casualty
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about how you're still recovering from catching a glimpse of Courtney Love's midriff on a Hollywood sidewalk. More »
leonardo dicaprio
Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Leo DiCaprio And Israeli Goddess Shop For Affordable, Consumer-Assembled Swedish Furnishings
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you spotted foul-mouthed movie set mutineer Lily Tomlin on your Southwest flight into Burbank. More »
mark wahlberg
Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Wolfgang Puck Eatery Cited For Celebrity Infestation
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about Gwyneth Paltrow's passive aggressive way of saying that you and your kid are taking too much time at the candy counter. More »
trade roundup
Trade Round-Up: Damon And Wahlberg, Together Again
· Paramount will enable the on-screen reunion of The Departed's Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon, who will star as pugilism-loving, Massachusetts-native half-brothers Micky and Dicky Ward in the boxing drama The Fighter (if they like the script), though it's unclear from the story which actor will be the "Rocky-like" boxing champion and which the "boxer-turned-trainer who rebounded in life after nearly being KO'd by drugs and crime." [Variety]· VH1 and BET are jointly developing the hip-hop drama series Wifey; if picked up, the show would air at the same time on both networks through its first season in an attempt at "broadening the audience," an unusual arrangement transparently aimed at sparing white viewers the inconvenience of having to find BET on their cable channel guides. [THR]
· Jennifer Hudson's not the only discarded Idol contestant to shake off the public humiliation of rejection and do something with her life. [Variety]
· American Idol and House win Tuesday for Fox. Sure, we could just copy and paste that blurb in every Tuesday trade round-up item for the remainder of the television season, but we prefer to marvel anew each week at Idol's ritualistic Nielsen humiliation of its doomed competition. [THR]
· Michael Bay screens footage of Transformers in NY for attendees of a toy conference, noting to an impressed crowd that the movie's plot was derived entirely from the copy on the back of the original toys' packaging, and even going so far as to explain that Bumblee's dramatic arc was constructed to demonstrate a character of 8 Intelligence and 10 Courage. [Variety]
oscars
'Yoicks!": Oscar Nominees React
Only slightly less joyful than discovering who's been tapped on the shoulder by Oscar's golden finger on nomination morning is reading the nominees' reactions. (We sometimes wish the snubbees were approached for comment, too, though processing endless sentiments along the lines of, "How do you think it feels? It sucks!" might drain some of the giddiness from the proceedings.) A round-up of some of the more memorable responses:· Mark Wahlberg: "I was able to put my real-life experiences with the Boston Police to good use after all. After all the torture I have put [my parents] through, to know they cried happy tears today. I'll think about that for a while." [Variety]
· Al Gore returned to his robotic ways, saying he was "so grateful to the entire team and pleased that the Academy has recognized their work. This film proves that movies really can make a difference." [ABC/AP]
· Stephen Frears on the Achievement in Directing field: "If you get put in a list with those guys you've done pretty well.'' [Guardian/AP]
· Peter O'Toole closed his eyes, and, after a long pause in which he carefully formulated what he wanted to say, replied, "If you fail the first time, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again. Yoicks!" [USA Today] More »
awards
Awards Round-Up: 'Pan's Labyrinth' Wins Fantasy-Nerd Film Critics Society's Hearts
· The National Society of Film Critics have a few surprises, including naming Guillermo del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth as their best picture, and awarding best supporting actor to Mark Wahlberg for The Departed—rendering that creepy thing with eyeballs on his palms crushed for being overlooked once again. [Backstage]· The Visual Effects Society Awards announced their nominees, with Best Single Visual Effect of the Year category going to sequences from Children of Men, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Poseidon, X-Men: The Last Stand, and Borat's nude wrestling scene, which, suprisingly, was accomplished by placing thousands of mapping nodes all over Sacha Baron Cohen and actor Ken Davitian's naked bodies, then later adding folds of hairy, lifelike manflesh through cutting-edge CGI techniques. [THR]
· The Palm Springs International Film Festival cannily presented an "ensemble" award to the cast of Babel, meaning for the price of one award, they got a Brad Pitt, a Cate Blanchett, and a Rinko Kikuchi and Adriana Barraza thrown in free of charge. [Desert Sun]
· The Online Film Critics Society named United 93 best picture, Helen Mirren and Forest Whitaker best actors, and Little Children's Jackie Earle Haley and Little Miss Sunshine's Abigail Breslin rounding out the supporting categories for their pedophile/pageant-princess-pedophile-bait roles. [Variety]
· The National Board of Review will award Deepa Mehta their vaguely named Freedom of Expression Award tomorrow for her film Water. [CBC.ca]
