takedowns

Liveblogging The 2008 MTV Movie Awards: Who Invited Us, Anyway?

While the summer time is traditionally even more barren for awards shows than Jennifer Aniston's lonely, lonely womb, we can always count on the MTV Movie Awards to satiate our seasonal cravings for celebrity carpet walking. What this award show lacks in prestige, it usually makes up for in star power. After all, what star with a summer movie to plug would turn down a virtually risk-free opportunity to accept an award for "Best Same-Sex Tongue Kiss" while reminding millions of viewers to remind them of their film's release date? This year's awards, hosted by Mike "The Love Guru Opens June 20th!" Myers, will feature appearances from Adam Sandler (who is receiving the coveted "Best Actor With A Movie Opening Next Week" award), Will Ferrell, Sarah Jessica Parker, Ed Norton, Liv Tyler, Robert Downey Jr., Mark Wahlberg and more. While the show will have a tough time eclipsing the bar that Sarah Silverman set last year (her teardown of famewhore Paris Hilton elicited universal acclaim from everyone but Paris herself), we here at Defamer will be doing our best to puncture the cloak of celebrity using the best tool we have available — a liveblog! Yes, that's right, we'll be coming to you live from the red carpet — we don't have any clue how we got on the list, either — of Universal Studios beginning at or around 3pm PST on Sunday afternoon and going straight on through until whenever the show ends. We hope you'll join us, it ought to be exciting. [MTV Movie Awards]

We made it! After months of tooth-gnashing and tuxedo-vest-rending, Hollywood's Greatest Night has arrived, and we're here to capture every significant moment for you, in easy-to-digest, timestamped morsels. We've done everything in our power to make sure that things run smoothly, but as always, mishaps do happen. (We're reminded of the tragic 63rd, when Lorraine Bracco's seat-filler inexplicably caught fire.) On the E! pre-show alone, Jennifer Garner's conversation with Ryan Seacrest was interrupted by a shocking neck-smooch attack perpetrated by a possibly candy-flipping Gary Busey. What cameras didn't capture was the fact that the actor was naked from the waist down. No matter. Garner is quarantined, under observation, and seems OK. And you're in the comfort and safety of your own home, where no slobbery Buseys can ever reach you.

Without further ado...let the games begin! (And—not that you asked—but we're in vintage Sweet P, bag by Trader Joe's.)

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oscars

Oscars 2008: Liveblogging The Red Carpet

Welcome to Defamer's Fourth Annual Hollywood Christmas Party — aka, our Oscar Liveblog! This year, we'll be splitting our barbed coverage into two robust and equally exciting halves. Seth will be handling the coverage of the (potentially ratings challenged) ceremony itself (separate post to follow at approximately 5:30pm PST), while your Uncle Grambo will be taking the reins for the pre-show. Stick with us, it's gonna be a rip-roarin' old time!
UPDATE (5:30pm): Looking for the Oscar liveblog? Look no further!

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liveblog

Golden Globes ... To Liveblog or Not To Liveblog?

10:01pm: ABC, hope you were taking notes. If any of your ideas for The Oscars resemble any of the ideas that NBC utilized tonight in their sham of a "press conference," your federal broadcasting license will be revoked. Herbert Eugene Ives would've been ashamed of your performance tonight, Silverman. You should go to sleep knowing that. More »

oscars

Liveblogging The Oscars: Here We Go Again

Welcome once again to our Oscars liveblog, where for roughly the next four hours and seventeen minutes (adjust your Oscar pool tie-breaker answer accordingly), we'll be huddled over our laptop, offering alcohol-delayed commentary on the very things you're watching on your TV at home. And because we're not afraid of the kind of cutting-edge innovations that will be on display in the Academy Awards telecast, this year we'll be blogging from inside a Lucite tank that will slowly fill with refreshing, liver-perforating pink André champagne; should the show exceed four hours, we'll perish by drowning unless our quick-thinking Sober Intern can fish us out before our lungs have completely filled with affordable sparkling wine. Should we not survive, embeddable YouTube video of our grisly demise will be made immediately available. More »