David Letterman Still Pretending To Give A Fuck About Whatever It Is Paris Hilton Is Yammering On About

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See Heidi Swat Lauren: A David Letterman 'Hills' Primer

Judy Greer Forced By Movie Producers To Dye Her Hair In Deference To Jennifer Aniston

David Letterman Wants To Tear The Clothes Off Of Blake Lively

Dave Letterman has a long history of getting flirty with his guests. From Madonna to Drew Barrymore, from Julia Roberts to any one of the countless number of leggy supermodels he's talked to over the years, Diamond Dave has never been one to shy away from batting his proverbial lashes at his guests. Depending on his mood, this flirtatiousness generally takes shape in either a slew of complimentary bon mots or, when he's feeling aggressive, a subtle graze of the knee. But when Gossip Girl Blake Lively showed up on the set on Friday night proclaiming that Dave was one of her "childhood crushes", the sexual tension between the two was not only palpable, it approached the level of David Addison and Maddie Hayes.

Vince Vaughn Fights Roid-Raging Ralphie!

· On last night's Late Show, Dave and Vince Vaughn hopped into the Career Wayback machine and revisited the time Vince nearly got his ass kicked by a steroid-enhanced Peter Billingsley. An after-school special classic!
· Amy Winehouse will miss the Grammys because she been denied a U.S. visa; the Embassy fears she might attempt to use her bloodstream to smuggle enough drugs into L.A. to kill everyone in the Staples Center. [rimshot]
· Wisely, John Mayer knows that all bloggers must be allowed no closer than 30 feet to him, even on supposedly safe cruise ships.
· Hey, unicorn! [via our favorite unicorn pusher]

David Letterman Welcomes Paris Hilton Back To Discuss Her Important 'Hottie or The Nottie' Promotional Charity Work

Paris Hilton's last appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman was, in no uncertain terms, one of the greatest moments in U.S. television history, to go up there with the moon landing, the final episode of M*A*S*H, and the entire run of Joe Millionaire in the annals of essential road-markers tracking the rise, fall, and eventual obliteration of a once-promising colonial social experiment.

Julie Chen Shares The Story Of Sean Young's Drunken DGA Awards Meltdown With Millions Of 'Late Show' Viewers

Sean Young's bravura, Julian Schnabel-taunting performance at Saturday night's tragically untelevised DGA Awards is now officially the stuff of Hollywood legend; not only was the incident immortalized on Variety's party-monitoring V-page today (a "spirited moment" of "tipsy heckling," giggles the trade paper!), but it was openly shared with millions of David Letterman's viewers Monday night by Big Brother host and Les Moonves trophy wife Julie Chen, who didn't require any arm-twisting to cough up the name of "the well-known actress" who caused the now-much-discussed disturbance, or to take a game stab at recreating the slurred outbursts that led to Young's ejection from the event.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Recalls Being Upstaged By Better Dressed, Weepy Eva Longoria During 'Housewives' Picketing

Yes, we realize that critiquing picket-line chants is so early November '07, but Julia Louis-Dreyfus's recollection on last night's Late Show of her time marching with her WGA brethren transported us all the way back to those early moments of the strike, when each day brought tales of the new and exciting ways writers were communicating their Guild's message.

Leno, Conan Win First Round Of Late-Night Ratings Fight Without Writers

· Overcoming the apparently mild inconvenience of putting on shows without their striking writers, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien still triumphed over fully staffed talk-show rivals David Letterman and Craig Ferguson in Wednesday night's Nielsen battle. In fairness to the WGA-approved programs, however, it should be noted that many viewers might have chosen to tune in to Leno out of irresistible curiosity about how unfunny the host would be on his own. [THR]
· Though the Golden Globes briefly harbored hope that the Writers Guild might give them a waiver for their rapidly approaching awards show, the WGA isn't going to cut them a break and still plans to picket. [Variety]

WGA-Approved Vs. Writerless Talks Shows: A Video Showdown

Though we've already awarded victory in last night's Return of Late Night TV talk-show wars to Conan O'Brien, whose downy Strike Beard simultaneously displayed solidarity with his absent writing staff and offered comfort to millions of fans anxious about how Hollywood's labor unrest affects the Masturbating Bear's ability to release the painful tension in his ursine nether-regions, we think it's important that everyone be provided with an opportunity to make up their own minds about whether the jokes scripted by Guild scribes were actually more successful than ones delivered by hosts forced to generate their own material. To that end, Gawker Media video operative Richard Blakeley whipped up this montage (click the above thumbnail to view) allowing you to compare their parallel efforts at entertaining America. Enjoy.

• The Return of Late Night Coverage [Defamer]

David Letterman's Back-To-Work Monologue: Hillary Cameos, Hiker Beards, And Picket-Line Dancers

Sporting an intimidating beard meant to show the effects of his difficult, two-month-long, tragically scribe-deprived hibernation, David Letterman symbolically crossed a twirling line formed by his Eugene V. Debs Picket Dancers and returned to work, bolstered by the full services of his newly contracted Guild writers. We haven't seen Jay Leno's opening yet, but we're going to assume he won't be doing a self-effacing version of the picket-line bit, wary that the saboteurs who've previously feasted on a vulnerable Carson Daly might have infiltrated his dance troupe, ready to paddle him with "Shame on You, Jay!" signs for going back to work without his striking staff.

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Letterman Prepares His Viewers For The Writers Strike

As nearly every article we've read to date on the possible impact of the writers strike has pointed out, the first victims of the walkout will be late-night talk shows; without the script lead-times enjoyed by sitcom and drama productions, their hosts will immediately be pushed in front of the cameras without material produced by their absentee writing staffs, forced to read from cue cards offering no more detailed commentary on the day's events than [NEXT THREE MINUTES: RIFF UNCOMFORTABLY ON HOW YOU HAVE NO ONE TO WRITE JOKES ABOUT WHATEVER IT WAS THAT BRITNEY SPEARS/GEORGE BUSH/HILLARY CLINTON DID TODAY.]

Softballed Baldwins, Homeless Chairys, and Mannish-Woman Types

David Letterman's New Screen Saver

· Just for the proverbial shits n' giggles, here's another clip from Dr. Phil's Late Show appearance last night. Panties, or the lack thereof, are discussed.
· The LAT gets to know Hoboken Beach Diet Guy, with whom you're already probably pretty well acquainted by now.
· Leave Britney Alone Guy gets his Gallery of the Absurd moment. Also, his Howard Stern moment. And his ABC News moment.
· Ben Affleck's Gone Baby Gone might not become a huge hit in the UK.

Serving Up Tough Love On Letterman, Dr. Phil Says Britney Spears' Vagina Isn't Cute Anymore

Bruce Willis Unwisely Creates Bomb Association For New 'Die Hard' Sequel

Lindsay Lohan Survives Letterman Softballing