Defamer: late night with conan o'brien

Kate Hudson Teaches 'Boobies Obsessed' Son Why Everyone's Always 'Rubbing Up Against Each Other'

Molly Friedman — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 17:30:00 PDT

After seeing Kate Hudson's appearance on Conan last night, we have a feeling that her surfer-haired son Ryder is destined to be quite the Hot Perv On Campus. Apparently that whole birds and bees discussion that every parent dreads has not only started far earlier at Casa Hudson than most households, but little Ryder is already pursuing an advanced degree in female anatomy by studying his mom's breasts. And after hearing what life was like for Kate as a kid living with kooky king and queen of long-term unmarried celebs Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, we’re not surprised that the 9-year old Ryder is already “obsessed” with things like boobies and the all-important, very profound question of why everyone “rubs up against each other.” The premature nympho chatter around Kate’s house makes perfect sense — Goldie and Kurt were those kinds of parents. Hear for yourself after the jump.

You see, when Kate was just a wee one herself, Kurt and Goldie's idea of maintaining an "honest household" was to blab and on about how incredibly awesome their sex was. Oddly enough, picturing the young and horny Goldie and Kurt going at it is far less disturbing than trying to figure out how Ryder knows so much about this "rubbing" business. Is Kate leaving the door open during her dalliances with rumored paramour one ball wonder Lance Armstrong? Has Owen Wilson reenacted the events which led to his Butterscotch Stallion nickname? Either way, we have a feeling that we'll be seeing young Ryder wreaking havoc on the Young Hollywood dating scene in no time flat.

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN [NBC]

Stifler Latest 'American Pie' Star Relegated To The Dustbin Of History

Mark Graham — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 16:30:00 PDT

Ah yes, we fondly recall the halycon days of the summer of 1999, when a fresh-faced batch of no-names captured the zeitgeist by bringing the carnal pleasures of beating off to webcam porn and fucking pastry items to the big screen. Yes, that's right, American Pie was a surprise hit that summer, grossing over $100 million back in the days when that threshold still meant something. It went on to launch the careers of a whole handful of marginally talented actors and even managed to spin off not one, not two but FIVE sequels. The intervening years, however, have not been kind to the cast. Some ended up in rehab (Tara Reid, Natasha Lyonne), some were exposed as having no talent (Jason Biggs, Chris Klein), and some found themselves twirling around dancefloors in silly costumes on utterly banal reality television programs (Shannon Elizabeth). Of the lot, only Alyson Hannigan and Seann William Scott are still in a position where people actually return their phone calls. At least that's what we thought until we saw Stifler out himself on last night's Late Night With Conan O'Brien by confessing that his Q Rating with the millenial set is somewhere south of Carrot Top's. Good luck, Alyson — now you're the last counselor left at Band Camp with any cred. [Late Night With Conan O'Brien]

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'Done Deal': Jimmy Fallon To Replace Conan O'Brien In '09

Molly Friedman — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 17:10:00 PDT

Rumors that notorious SNL line-flubber Jimmy Fallon might replace Conan O'Brien following his move to The Tonight Show have been floating around for over a year now. But today, Fox News adds some real substance to all the chatter by boldly reporting that "it's a done deal." Debates will inevitably and endlessly ensue regarding Fallon's ability to fill the shoes of everyone's favorite red head (with all apologies to the late Lucille Ball), especially considering Fallon's lack of experience as a writer or improviser. More details from Fox on how Fallon is handling the news and when we can expect an official announcement, after the jump.

While Fox's Roger Friedman is wildly optimistic about Falllon's upcoming arrival behind Conan's desk, his enthusiasm strikes us as a bit too gushy. As he puts it, "He's the perfect successor to Conan and should have just as big an audience when he takes the reins. Fallon is one of those great underrated performers." True, Fallon was at one time a favorite of ours, partly because he was the cutest cast member at the time, and partly because of his dead-on Barry Gibb impression. But as Tracey Morgan and other cast members infamously said, most of Jimmy's laughs were the result of messing up his lines almost every Saturday night. Understandably, Fox notes that Fallon is "said to be thrilled and ready, if not a little scared." In any case, an official announcement from NBC is reportedly scheduled for May 11th or 12th, when NBC unveils its 2008 schedule to advertisers in New York.

[Photo credit: Wireimage]

JIMMY FALLON CINCHES CONAN'S JOB [Fox News]

Sarah Jessica Parker Does Not Want To Talk About Sex, Baby

Molly Friedman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:55:00 PDT

We were always a bit confused when Sarah Jessica Parker touted her no-nudity clause throughout all six seasons of Sex And The City, considering how often her character would appear in three-inch long skirts and see-through tops that left nothing to the imagination. Despite being the only actress out of the four leads who never technically revealed any T&A, we still walked away from the show with a near-perfect idea (unfortunately) of what SJP looks like naked. So why break out in a rash and put on earmuffs at the very mention of the word "sex," a word that's come to define her entire career, in this clip from last night's Conan?

When we heard the Smart People star uncomfortably discussing how incredibly uncomfortable "intimate" talk and even hearing the word "sex" spoken aloud makes her, our confusion overwhelmed us yet again. How could someone so prim and proper have spent years chatting about blow jobs and even more years dating someone like Robert Downey Jr.? She doesn't like "the tone" or "the subject" of conversations involving sex? Learning that the executive producer and star of the HBO show would never even watch it hardly increases our appreciation for a program whose legend is based around the open dialogue it created for women to air their opinions about the "vulgar"ities of intimacy. Are we the only ones?

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN [NBC]

Martha Stewart Is No Lush, But She Sure Loves Getting Talk Show Hosts Trashed

Molly Friedman — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:05:50 PDT

After gleefully watching along as Martha Stewart doused Conan O'Brien with all sorts of lush-inducing cocktails, from Guinness to gin to mystery concoctions, we put on our thinking caps and sorted through our clip-clustered memories. After we cleared the cobwebs a bit, we remembered that this wasn't the first time Martha shared her love of liquor with television hosts. Loyal Defamer readers will recall her 8am rise-and-shine mixers with Meredith Vieira on The Today Show last month, and insomniacs will certainly remember her booze-on-the-brain appearance on The Late Show last week (in which she listed at least four indecipherable drinks she calls her "favorites"). But her fondness of ladylike cocktails doesn't stop there. Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer put together a burp-filled mashup of our favorite Professional Housewife's alcohol-drenched appearances of late; as always, video is available the jump.

Whether she's introducing her audience to the magic of whiskey sours, or waxing enthusiastic about her love of vodka to Mer, or simply listing every single drink imaginable to poor perplexed Dave (um, did she really just say "wine spitzer"? We knew she had a funny bone, but among all the Luv Guv-related scandalicious terminology thrust at us from every media outlet we tune in to, that's gotta top our lists), Martha is no longer just the Queen of napkin-folding and flower arrangements. We're hiring her to bartend our next birthday party.

THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW [Official Site]