rants

The Wachowskis Still in Hiding as 'Speed Racer' Circles the Drain

For all its confectionery imagery, Christina Ricci scene-stealing and the few other things Speed Racer gets right, it still faces a box-office false start that could make Leatherheads look like a hit in comparison. We sketched a few of the hurdles here yesterday (number one being its own studio's resignation to its underachievement), but at this point there's only one that counts: Larry and Andy Wachowski need to climb out of their hole.

It might be self-serving of us to suggest they publicize their films, and in a way, we empathize with their reclusion; Larry Wachowski has been the subject of sex-change and dominatrix-dating speculation since a feminized version of himself — earrings, plucked eyebrows, manicure — showed up on the Matrix Revolutions red carpet in Cannes five years ago with mistress Ilsa Strix (née Karen Winslow) on his arm. The siblings later sneaked into the New York premiere of V For Vendetta (which they wrote and co-produced), and last week in Los Angeles they went positively presidential with subterfuge at the debut of Speed Racer. "They did not do the red-carpet press line at the Nokia Theatre on Saturday, and were well-camouflaged during the after-party," wrote Borys Kit in The Hollywood Reporter. "Photographers were sworn to secrecy as to their whereabouts, and Warner Bros. assigned handlers the mission of keeping journalists off the scent."

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hollywood genderwatch

Update: Larry Wachowski Probably Still A Dude

Yesterday, the internets were ablaze with rumors (well, really, one rumor) that allegedly gender-shuffling Matrix co-director Larry Wachowski had finally completed a long-whispered-about sex change, opting to spend the rest of his life as a woman named Lana who would haunt the dreams of every embattled publicist unlucky enough to be assigned to subsequent Wachowski Family films. Troubled by the swiftly spreading report, Fox 411's Roger Friedman put in some calls, and today is satisfied that Larry is still happily beschlonged:

On Wednesday, I had lovely chats with people at the sound studio in Germany where the Wachowskis have been making the live action version of the Japanese cartoon "Speed Racer." The folks I spoke to got quite a kick out of the whole thing.

I asked one man in building operations, "Have you seen Larry lately? Does he have breasts now, as rumored? Is he wearing a dress, wondering if it's making him look fat?"

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hollywood genderwatch

Catching Up With Larry Wachowski. Or Lana Wachowski. We're Not Exactly Sure. (UPDATED!)

We have no idea if the "newly released photo from a rare public appearance earlier this year" posted in an item at Rated-M.com (as excavated by Cinematical) is evidence of anything but reportedly transgendering Wachowski brother Larry's predilection for dangly earrings and sassy bandanas, but the blog claims that his much-rumored journey towards womanhood is now complete, a transformation that has obvious implications for hopeful 2008 summer blockbuster Speed Racer and the way the directing duo's names will be listed on its one-sheet. Says Rated-M:

The duo will now just be known as "The Wachowskis", dropping the "brothers" part of their name. It is expected that Larry, now called Lana, will actually speak to the press about this for the first time, but not until after the Speed Racer film is out. The current feeling is that his sex change could hurt the family image the Speed Racer film is going for.

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warner bros

Rolling Stone On Wachowski Weirdness

The upcoming Larry Wachowski Rolling Stone expose referenced a few posts ago has been conveniently posted today to their website. The article, not surprisingly, is as utterly bizarre as would befit a tale of a Hollywood wunderkind who decided to have a sex change and form a civil union with his dominatrix. But with virtually every paragraph chock full of quotes from scorned, mangina-having lovers, envious, dishing dominatrixes (and we all know how mean they can be), and anonymous Hollywood insiders weighing in with career advice ("Lose the estrogen, kid."), we must admit, we were left at a bit of loss as to where to begin. How about the Marcus Chong (Tank from The Matrix) SAG arbitration? More »