I cringed when I read the denigrating remarks made about two wonderful actors, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro.

One of the most important industries in our country is the film industry. Our movies reach out to every corner of the world. Our stars are appreciated everywhere.

Al Pacino and Robert De Niro are two of our very important stars. They have made movies that will never be forgotten. I think you owe them an apology.

Kirk Douglas
Los Angeles

Indeed, one might presume that seasoned film biz columnist Patrick Goldstein would know this about our "most important industries," not to mention the global repercussions for his having dinged the decrepit duo. Having now upset both the industry's delicate economic balance and Kirk Douglas, we expect Goldstein's apology should be forthcoming any minute now. Meanwhile, we hear an angry Bruce Willis is drafting a retort to the letter directly preceding Douglas's, which namechecks Ashton Kutcher and Hayden Christensen as low-rent contemporary analogues that cement the Pacino/De Niro legend. This industrial indignity cannot stand.

• Putting in a good word for Pacino, De Niro [LAT via MCN]

As the elderly thespian was placed upon a stretcher and carried out of the auditorium, a stunned Travolta sheepishly explained, "I thought he was banging his fist on the podium like that because he was really into it. Sure, his mouth got a little dry two minutes in, but that didn't necessarily mean something was wrong. He's old, you know? These things happen."

[Photo: Getty Images]

• Pucker up Kirk because I'm feeling lucky [Scotsman]
• Previously: Don't Get Excited, Captain Travolta Greets All Of His Passengers This Way [Defamer]

In his new memoir, "Let's Face It - 90 Years of Living, Loving and Learning," due in April from Wiley, the cleft-chinned Oscar-winning star of such pictures as "Spartacus" and "Gunfight at the O.K. Corral" recalls a fling with a "big, tall blond" German airline stewardess who liked to be disciplined in bed. During their enthusiastic sex sessions, "she would scream, 'I'm a Nazi!' - which was his cue to slap her, which he did, Douglas writes.

While we'd like to think we're open to the introduction of creative twists into old-fashioned lovemaking, something about Douglas's "fascist tormentor vs. Warsaw ghetto upriser" role-playing game might be a little too kinky for our tastes. Far be it from us to moralize about the pleasure-seeking behaviors of two consenting adults, however, just so long as the two rough-sex participants agreed on a safe word—perhaps a sonorous "Juden Raus!"—in case the Nazi-slapping fun ever got out of hand.

• KIRK'S SLAPPY-NAZI SEX ROMP [NY Post]