Defamer
tongue wagging
Posts Tagged “
Kevin Federline
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tongue wagging
oops, she's doing it again
Britney Spears Shops Around Reality Show, Throws Wrench In Comeback Tour
Just as the Britney Spears Comeback Tour was picking up fuel with that promising role on HIMYM and a temporary absence from the tabloids, it appears that Spears may be regressing. The National Enquirer is reporting that Britney and her recently reunited manager Larry Rudolph are shopping around a reality show that would look, talk and walk far different from Chaotic: no K. Fed, two babies to feed, and no one to drug her and prompt intelligent conversation:
"She believes a reality show is a no-brainer. She can be herself and not have to study lines...Several production companies are interested in a Britney reality show and are willing to pay her millions."More »
hey big spender
Kevin Federline's Credit Card Charges Offer Glimpse Into The Life Of A Liquor, Ladies And Luxury-Loving Big Baller
As Dolly Parton famously said, "it takes a lot of money to look this cheap." But after learning what Kevin Federline spent most of his money on last year, that catchphrase now has an even more deserving owner. As Us reports, credit card bills recently released by an LA court reveal what K. Fed spends a good chunk of those Britney-given child support payments on: strippers, Las Vegas hotel rooms and plenty of bottle service at flashy nightclubs. The silver lining? When the strippers do their job well, Federline is a generous tipper:"At Scores strip club, he gave $2,000 on a $365 meal bill."What a stand-up guy. More details on Kevin's classy indulgences of choice after the jump. More »
short ends
· K-Fed's loving father, forgiving ex, and capable role-model game is ridiculous. [In Touch]
· Tonight, two of our very favorite animated things—South Park and Canadian sci-fi fleshcore classic Heavy Metal—are to be combined into one, brainmeltingly awesome new thing. (One can only hope.) [Vulture]
· Cajun chef Paul Prudhomme was grazed by a bullet on a Louisiana golf course today, upon which he instantly started hemorrhaging gravy. [USA Today]
· The only bad thing about the gigantic piano house is the 40-foot-tall Liberace who tramples the village to come play it every full moon. [Weird Asia News via Thighmaster]
Next Up On Port-au-Prince Action News: Your Weather
· We take three things from this video: One, Haitian Weather Guy is about the lowest-stress vocation on the planet. Two, some videos really do improve upon subsequent viewings. And three, if there's a Meaning of Life, Arthur knows it. [YouTube]· K-Fed's loving father, forgiving ex, and capable role-model game is ridiculous. [In Touch]
· Tonight, two of our very favorite animated things—South Park and Canadian sci-fi fleshcore classic Heavy Metal—are to be combined into one, brainmeltingly awesome new thing. (One can only hope.) [Vulture]
· Cajun chef Paul Prudhomme was grazed by a bullet on a Louisiana golf course today, upon which he instantly started hemorrhaging gravy. [USA Today]
· The only bad thing about the gigantic piano house is the 40-foot-tall Liberace who tramples the village to come play it every full moon. [Weird Asia News via Thighmaster]
defamer casting
Casting The Upcoming '90210' Spinoff
Break out your varsity jackets and teasing combs, because Beverly Hills: 90210 is getting a B12 shot in the ass. As THR reports this morning, the beloved fictional halls of West Beverly will be refurbished and re-populated with a brand new spinoff on the CW. Though a pilot has yet to be written by Veronica Mars producer Rob Thomas, and the tweeny network has yet to sign any papers, we'd like to prevent Aaron Spelling from rolling over in his grave by offering our own suggestions for who should play the new versions of Brenda, Brandon and their rotating group of bed buddies. Although we kinda doubt a marching band dusted with school spirit could help our Donna Martin graduate...
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Whooop! Whooop! Sound the denial alarm! A spokesperson for Kevin Federline (who sounds suspiciously like K-Fed talking with a ladylike British accent) told Extra that the rumors about the former couchhusband starring in Legally Blonde: The Musical on Broadway are "not true." Face it, UsMagazine.com: You've been pap'd. We smell Kutcher-stink all over this. Or, alternately, that the producers of Legally Blonde: The Musical decided they couldn't accommodate Federline's request that he rap the lyrics to all his numbers. [ExtraTV.com]
popojazzhands
Y'All Ain't Ready For K-Fed In A Broadway Kickline
As his far more successful ex-wife continues her seemingly infinite spiral towards a state of ubiquitous oblivion, Kevin Federline has continued to defy all odds and expectations (of which there were none), and secure himself steady—and even prestigious—showbiz employment. To wit: An UsMagazine.com report claims producers of Legally Blonde: The Musical (which we watched in its entirety on MTV over Thanksgiving break—an activity only slightly gayer than gathering around a baby grand with some of your closest, rainbow-bethonged friends for a Sondheim singalong) are circling around America's Formerly Most-Hated Pimp to possibly star in the production:
A source says Britney Spears' ex, 30, may be heading to NYC in September to make his Broadway debut in Legally Blonde, the Tony-nominated musical adaptation of the hit film, Us Weekly reports in its latest issue, on newsstands now.More »
After hearing last week that Britney Spears decided to give Sean Preston and The Other One haircuts on a rare visit with them, we worried the next pap shots of the doomed little pair would involve razors, tears, and bald babies bearing umbrellas. Fortunately, our worst fears weren't realized; The Package managed to gift the two with perfectly acceptable 'dos. But the most recent gift from Momma isn't quite as sweet. According to PageSix.com, the boys are so "confused" when they see their mother these days, that SP is having nightmares regularly, and even needs to hop into bed with huggy bear (now perfectly cushion-sized!) Kevin Federline. What is Britney doing that's so frightening? Apparently she sings them lullabies. We'd hop into our parents' bed too, no matter how long the plane ride, if we heard Mommy singing us "I'm A Slave 4 U" while drifting off to Never-Never-Land. [PageSix.com]
boys got back
'Us' Calls Out Fatties With Their 'Hunk To Chunk' Photographic Retrospective
For the first time in recorded history, we actually felt sorry for poor chubster Kevin Federline yesterday. After all, as those golfing pictures revealed, that he's now sporting a Buddha big enough to hamper his golf swing. But apparently the slideshow-happy folks at Us Weekly didn't share our sympathies; in the wake of the revelation of Fat K-Fed, they've posted a slideshow featuring other formerly thin celebs who've gone from "hunk to chunk" in recent years. But being the stubborn argumentative types that we are, we're going to have to disagree with their take on all of these pound-packers' alleged downfalls. Sure, Clay Aiken's no prize these days (was he ever?), and Alec Baldwin certainly looked sexier in Glengarry Glen Ross than he currently does on 30 Rock, but a few members of Us' Fatso Club actually look far hotter with some extra meat on their bones. Our rebuttals, with pictorial evidence, after the jump.
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dept of bellies
Report: K-Fed Fat
Having fallen victim to an extremely common pitfall for any parent locked in a protracted, anxiety-inducing divorce, closet stress-eater Kevin Federline was captured recently on a local fairway sporting a hefty paunch and a sprouting set of cankles. The implications, of course, are staggering, as the former couchhusband and background krumper will soon find that his newly zaftig frame will overwhelm his garment of choice, leaving this wife-beater-enthusiast with an enormous, virtually useless pile of skewed cotton tank tops. (That is, until a lightbulb moment lands them on eBay, billed as an exciting new line of slightly used K-Fed maternity wear.)
[Photo Credit: X17]
fashion smashion
Marc Jacobs Decides No Fashion Show Is Quite Complete Without Kevin Federline
Why would Marc Jacobs personally invite K. Fed to his impossible-to-get-into show tomorrow night? Because he's the cleverest fame-whore of them all, that's why! With Britney making more headlines than ever but, um, unavailable for public appearances at the moment, Marc knows something the other designers don't: the sheer presence of Kevin Federline will catapault his name into the headlines during what has been an unusually slow Fashion Week. The kicker? The appearance happens on the same day as, you guessed it, Britney 's bombshell profile in Rolling Stone hits newsstands! More »
pap smears
Britney's Paparazzo Paramour Tells All
At this very moment, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline (and Steve Carell, but let's not needlessly complicate things) are back at the L.A. County Courthouse for yet another custody hearing to determine what contingencies are to be placed on access to her own children. (You'll recall visitation rights were revoked following her recent Van Halen 5150-hold hospitalization incident.) Wait! A shocking development has played out in the time it took to type that last sentence:
More »
this can't be good for her case
Breaking: A Britney 'Under The Influence' Rushed To Cedars After Refusing To Relinquish Custody Of Sean Preston And The Other One
Here's a riveting turn of events in the ongoing Spears-Federline custody saga that's all but certain to push the name Jamie Lynn to the tabloid sidelines for a minimum of two publishing cycles: The "Gimme More" singer's stubborn refusal to hand over her two children to K-Fed's custody led to a four-hour police showdown at her home tonight, requiring the presence of several squad cars, firetrucks, a helicopter and an ambulance—the last of which carted her off on a gurney to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. (Footage courtesy of myfoxla.com, accompanied by running commentary from a cameraman whose gripes of having to "follow this frickin' thing to the hospital" suggest he may not have been entirely aware his audio was being broadcast throughout the internets.)
britney spears
Child Welfare Department To Try And Determine Exact Degree Of Britney Spears' Negligence
Truth be told, we're a little unclear on the details of the arrangements the court has established for the care of Sean Preston and Other One Spears-Federline during their parents' ongoing custody dispute; as far as we can tell, they're primarily under K-Fed's care, with Spears' visitation rights now temporarily curtailed to a single, heavily supervised visit a week, in which the children and their favorite toys are placed inside a protective plastic bubble while a court-ordered monitor observes every interaction between troubled mother and offspring through that impermeable membrane. Whatever the specifics, today brings news that Spears' parenting time could soon take another hit pending an investigation into "multiple child abuse and neglect" allegations by the L.A. County Department Of Broken Pop Star/Background Dancer Family Services:
InTouch Presents BlackBerry Evidence About Britney Spears' Rumored Knocking-Up
Music producer/aspiring Britney Spears babydaddy J.R. Rotem is learning an important lesson about how technology is changing the world of tabloid gossip, courtesy of his once-close friends at InTouch.
Music producer/aspiring Britney Spears babydaddy J.R. Rotem is learning an important lesson about how technology is changing the world of tabloid gossip, courtesy of his once-close friends at InTouch.
power lists
K-Fed Graces Cover Of Completely Meaningless 'Details' Power Issue
If you're wondering how Kevin Federline made it to the cover of The Details Power 50 issue ("Meet the most influential men under 45,") you probably need to first know that the magazine played fast and loose with their own definition—specifically the "men" part: "Zac Efron, Shia LaBoeuf, and the Disney Kids" come in at #1, the "other F-word" makes a completely baffling appearance at #9, and Iggy—not the punk rocker, but the mangy canine who precipitated Ellen DeGeneres's on-camera meltdown—came it at, we shit you not, #29. So breathe easy—K-Fed's influence still hovers somewhere between that of a Sonic Burger fry-cook's and Erik Estrada's.
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Apparently Britney Spears is not having the greatest day at family court. This landed in our inbox: "When asked by an Extra reporter in the hallway outside a Los Angeles Superior courtroom as to how she was doing, Britney Spears shouted out, 'Eat it, lick it, snort it, f*%k it!' Spears walked back into the courtroom crying." [Extra]
breaking
Watch Britney Lose Her Kids: Live!
If you've truly given up all hope of living a productive and meaningful existence, we guide you now to AccessHollywood.com's live feed from the court steps of today's Spears-Federline custody hearing, where you can spend the next hour or so listening in on Tony Potts and Girl with Star-Shaped Microphone submit to an explosive bout of verbal, Britney-speckled diarrhea. Once you've sated yourselves with their insights, you can then continue onto similarly fulfilling activities, such as follicle-by-follicle pubic depilatory sessions and seeing how many canned olives you can eat before puking.
- Access Live Stream: Spears-Federline Custody Hearing [accesshollywood.com]
