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Katie Holmes

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The Clip Show

The Lost Boy


· Corey Haim spent an entire segment of The Two Coreys surfing the Defamer comment section and walked away emotionally damaged. But darker days are looming ahead.
· Angelina Jolie gave birth to the Chosen Twins! No wait, it was just another false alarm.
· McLovin and some starlets, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes some little McLovins in a baby carriage! But wait, watch out for that lightning storm!
· Madonna's frosty marriage to Guy Ritchie came thisclose to breaking down this week when reports surfaced that she's been fielding grounders from New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez. And Lenny Kravitz has something to do with it.
· Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA. But don't fret! There's a Friends movie on the way (maybe).
· We wished the happiest of happy birthdays to Lindsay Lohan and Tom Cruise.
· We busted out our long lost graphing calculator and got all scientific on your asses by examining the comedic rise and fall of Mike Myers.
· Nude Nicole Kidman vs. the fully clothed Katie Holmes proved to be an uneven fight.
· Fanboys from sea to shining sea creamed their collective jeans when Megan Fox dumped Brian Austin Green. Brett Ratner called dibs and already has some erotic literature ready for their first date.
· Denise Richards carefully explained to her 13-year-old nephew exactly what a threesome is.
· At long last, anal lubricant got the recognition it so justly deserves.

And with that, we are out. Have a happy and safe Fourth Of July, we'll see you on Monday!

5:45 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By Mark Graham
1,573 views, Comment

Self Sabotage

Why Tom Cruise Is To Blame For Katie Holmes' Box Office Failure On Broadway

It didn’t take long for Katie Holmes to prove she cannot compare to Nicole Kidman when it comes to Broadway appeal. Months before she even sets foot on stage, Tom Cruise’s replacement wife is striking out at the box office, managing to sell only $1 million worth of advance tickets to her September theatrical effort in All My Sons. That may sound like a decent take in the world of steadily declining Broadway sales, but it doesn’t even come close to Kidman’s number, which was $4 million. So why the distant gap in interest between seeing Holmes hack through Arthur Miller and Kidman feign sex live? It’s not just a matter of full-frontal cartwheels... More »

6:05 PM on Wed Jul 2 2008
By Molly Friedman
7,679 views, 12 comments

Latest by "Good" Crazy...: .. and that was my first post after account approval, bless you Defamer Overlords, songs of your greatness shall be sung late into the night in these halls. more »

Broadway Babies

Josh Hartnett Latest In Long List Of Celebs To Make Ill-Fated Decision To Dabble In Theater

Radar reports that our favorite box office trailblazer, Josh Hartnett, has finally given up hope of nailing zingers on 30 Rock or appearing in a mildly successful movie and moved on to simpler pursuits: the London theater. In a role that will certainly pay homage to Tom Cruise’s former career as an actor, Hartnett will appear as Rain Man’s Charlie Babbit opposite a less-heartthrobby Brit filling Dustin Hoffman’s pigeon-toed shoes. Most interesting of all? Hartnett manages to say, “It has always been my intent to work on the London stage,” without laughing. But the bigger question remains (ahem, Katie Holmes): why do movie stars assume tackling the theater will be a breezy little side-job guaranteed to build acting cred? The track records of Julia Roberts, Denzel Washington, and David Schwimmer beg to differ, after the jump. More »

5:25 PM on Tue Jul 1 2008
By Molly Friedman
2,669 views, 7 comments

Latest by Oxycontinmoron: (PRODUCT PLACEMENT ALERT!) Hartnett manages to say, "It has always been my intent to work on the London stage," without ... clarifying that he meant waxing the boards with Murphy's Oil Soap. more »

Slim Fast

C-Listers Reveal Their Scarily Obsessive Weight Loss Methods

At this point we’re far more informed than we’d like to be when it comes to all the freaky diet methods celebrities use to shed pounds and pull off that whole homeless glam look Colin Farrell’s currently sporting. But while A-listers tend to either keep mum on the subject (like Katie Holmes and Renee Zellweger) or blab endlessly about being “obsessed with potato chips!” and eating “fried food every day!” (Catherine Zeta-Jones and Angelina Jolie), the press-hungry lesser-knowns have yet to learn the rules. In the upcoming issue of TV Guide, ten small-screen stars commit major overshares about how their body obsession is weighing on their mindgrapes. Find out who dropped major pounds just because TMZ published pictures of her “very, very soft” stomach, who only vacuums in heels to tone her calves, and which former “fat baby” admits to working out for over an hour every day, after the jump. More »

5:40 PM on Tue Jun 24 2008
By Molly Friedman
9,196 views, 10 comments

Latest by n/a: Yeah, osteoporosis due to lack of calcium in the diet is so sexy, although I don't think exercising for one hour a day is a problem. I don't watch The Hills but I DO want to see a photo of Audrina more »

Play For Pay

The Barely Dressed Beckhams Just Can't Resist Stripping Down For Cash

This may come as a shock, but we have some troubling news to report: it seems that the Double Dating, Non-Eating foursome of Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and power duo Posh 'n Becks differ in one key regard. As opposed to TomKat's demure sartorial choices, from their first public motorcycle ride to their wedding attire to Katie’s current desire to wear dresses with hemlines as long as possible, their British counterparts just love showing us some skin. As People reports, frosty-locked David has been confirmed to appear in yet another glossy ad campaign for Armani, in which the soccer star will continue to contort his Adonis body into poses highlighting his too-good-to-be-true physical assets. Since the new pictures coincide with recently released oddball shots taken of permanently deadpan wife Victoria Beckham for Marc Jacobs’ Spring/Summer print campaign, we took a nostalgic (and arousing) look back at just how many times the Beckhams have admirably sold their bodies for bundles of cash. Enjoy the various real and fake body parts belonging to Britain’s most rare creation: a real live hot couple. More »

10:30 AM on Thu Jun 19 2008
By Molly Friedman
3,926 views, 15 comments

Latest by kit10indublin: @Transuranic: TOATLLY AGREE. When I look at him all I see is VANILLA, yawn, boring, now I'm looking at my watch, my cuticles, the floor .... If you want hot Euro football player in boys knickers look up Freddie Ljungberg more »

a call to the bullpen

As Long As I Wear These Glasses, Nobody Will Be Able To See Me

More »
slim fast

Britney Spears Joins Katie Holmes As A Disciple Of Posh Spice's Starvation Diet

Despite having apparently cleaned up her boozy gurney act, finding a new boyfriend who doesn’t wear wifebeaters and even spending quality mini-SUV-riding time with Sean Preston and The Other One, Britney Spears has still been getting flack from the press. Why? Namely because she’s been seen looking slightly less svelte than usual while covering her belly (which, of course, leads to unwed-mom pregnancy stories). But comeback number infinity is still chugging away! Last week, we reported on her planned string of “flashy” shows in Vegas, and now we learn that Spears has reportedly undergone a rapid weight loss using none other than the Victoria Beckham starvation method. Details on what Spears has been replacing her Cheetos with, how she's comparing to Posh these days and the exact dimensions of her new dress size (you know you want to know) after the jump. More »

9:20 AM on Mon Jun 9 2008
By Molly Friedman
10,594 views, 19 comments

Latest by n/a: Poor Brit! I've never been a huge fan but when you feel the need to turn to the Living Skeleton / Posh for dieting tips, something is seriously wrong. Anyway! Don't get me started...I think I'll go have my Frappucino more »

young love

Which Celebrity Spawns Are Dating Before Their 10th Birthday?

We’ve been wondering for a while now when all these obsessed-over spawns of celebrities would finally grow up and start canoodling already. With all the “wombwatching” and “bump” updates screaming at us from the newsstands, all we really want to know is when Lourdes is going to start dating James Wilkie Parker Broderick (oy), or when Suri will link eyes with the matching-haircut, age-equivalent Maddox. But thank the pervy Hollywood heavens above, the wait is now over. As the NY Daily News reports today, two youngsters with very famous A-list parents are currently “dating,” and “poised to take Hollywood by storm…and they have a combined age of 18!” Well! That’s slightly disgusting but also beyond intriguing! The new hot couple on the schoolyard revealed, after the jump. More »

4:00 PM on Thu Jun 5 2008
By Molly Friedman
7,058 views, 14 comments

Latest by n/a: can we go back to discussing grown-ups now? more »

If You Can Make It There, You're Almost Home Free

Katie Holmes Poised To Make Her Broadway Escape In 'All My Sons' Revival

Cindy Adams, the sole-surviving specimen of an age when Gossipsaurs ruled the Earth, has scored an interview with theater impresario Eric Falkenstein. He's the man behind the all-star revival of All My Sons soon to hit Broadway, which stars John Lithgow, Dianne Wiest, Patrick Wilson, and, most notably, Tom Cruise's billion-year war bride Katie Holmes. Falkenstein explains how their decision to go with Katie had everything to do with talent, not ticket-sales: More »

9:50 AM on Wed Jun 4 2008
By Seth
2,700 views, 13 comments

knights of hubbard

Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Throw Bash For Everyone In Hollywood Who Secretly Hates Them, Including Suri

When the Count and Countess of Scientology throw a party, they do not set out plastic lawn chairs and serve crustless honey-drenched finger sandwiches. No, when TomKat decide to invite all of their friends and frenemies (and even some enemies!) over for a daytime soirée, the Knights of Hubbard throw the kind of party that puts everyone from the Royal Family to Donatella Versace to shame. On Saturday afternoon, TomKat decided to congratulate themselves on purchasing yet another of their many torture chambers loving households in Beverly Hills by hosting the likes of Kirstie “I Should Be Dead” Alley, Oprah “Never Forget” Winfrey, Victoria “Posher Than Katie” Beckham, and Jennifer “Marc Is Sick Again” Lopez. And putting aside Suri’s adorably Croc-like sandals and her ongoing tendency to appear just as frightened of her father as the rest of the world, this A-list party’s most impressive attributes were the pimped out rides. After the jump, a collection of the invitees in their modes of transportations, and a sampling of just how much security goes into protecting their Friends and Foes from Xenu’s ominous Orwellian eye: More »

1:55 PM on Mon Jun 2 2008
By Molly Friedman
5,592 views, 5 comments

Latest by n/a: I am wondering why Tom decided to throw this party on the EXACT day that CO$ was having a huge bash in Pasadena. Does anyone know if this was deliberate, or if Master Tiny Pants managed to attend both functions somehow? more »

Did you mean: Thom Creed?

Tom Cruise Image-Reclamation Campaign Targets Baby Stores, Google Users

With his dreams of an eye-patched, SS-uniformed Oscar statuette slipping through his Hitler-hunting fingers, and his billion-year war bride having successfully sanded through her reinforced-leather ankle restraints and hightailed it to the Great White Way, Tom Cruise has responded to the steady unraveling of his meticulously constructed, intergalactic Camelot in the only logical fashion: by attempting to reclaim his own image. Beyond the "Take Back The Tom" campus marches planned around the country (ours meets at the Celebrity Center quad at 10), the NY Daily News is reporting that reps for the UA minimogul have fired off a Scary Hollywood Lawyer letter to millionaire-baby-outfitter Petit Trésor. Claiming they told Life & Style that the couple bought Suri $400,000's worth of high-thread-count swaddling cloths and ruby-encrusted platinum rattles (or enough to feed, heal, and clothe every child in Africa until 2069), the letter asserted that the sum was "simply false," "violates our clients' rights of privacy," and that the couple would therefore "request that you no longer use our clients as part of your public relations and marketing efforts."

More »

10:32 AM on Fri May 23 2008
By Seth
2,250 views, 10 comments

Latest by Lala11_7: If Mr. Cruise keep making movies that supremely suck...he won't have to worry about his privacy...because nobody will give a fuck... What he NEEDS to do is get back with Rebecca (the woman who broke his heart and started him on more »

Despite his best attempts, Tom Cruise has officially failed his mission of keeping wife Katie Holmes off Broadway and out of New York. As we learned earlier this year, the escape-hungry Holmes was offered a role in this fall’s Arthur Miller play All My Sons, giving her a chance to remind the industry she was once an actress. But Cruise was rumored to have squashed the idea, punishing his true love by sending her off to Scientology boot camp. But Us is confirming that Holmes has signed on anyway, meaning the tight Cruise clan will be spending autumn in New York. We can only hope NBC successfully woos Jerry Seinfeld into a deal by then, lest TomKat’s previous recruitment plans for the comedian remain a high priority. [Us]

7 comments

a call to the bullpen

Katie, I Think Suri Is Broken. Either That Or The Batteries Are Dying.

More »
defamer photo essay

Katie Holmes' Attempt To Flee The Scientology Kingdom: A Tragedy In Three Parts

Looks like it’s time to reopen the case of Suri Cruise and the Toxic Scientology Bottles. After seeing this photo of Katie Holmes and her tiny dancer, we couldn’t help but notice the presence of an actual sippy cup. Why is this news so glorious? You see, most babies tend to go from nipple to bottle to sippy cup to the wine glass you’re currently holding. But Hubbard's Parenting Book tells Scientology moms like Holmes to rot their kids' teeth with honey instead, a method Holmes had been following obediently. But before we could celebrate Suri's freedom and Katie's long-awaited rebellion against Overlord Tom and his disco-dancing minions, Cruise suddenly descended on their escape attempt clutching an asbestos-stuffed rabbit that made Suri cry. The dramatic series of events, in pictures, after the jump. More »

3:30 PM on Fri May 16 2008
By Molly Friedman
11,097 views, 12 comments

Latest by Tenno: That's an ursine creature you fool! Teliptandantional! Or whatever. It's Monday. more »

knights of hubbard

Tom Cruise Gifts Beckhams With One-Way Ticket To Hubbard's House Of Horrors

Hello Magazine is reporting that Tom Cruise was plum out of ideas for what to get recently drifting BFF David Beckham for his birthday. So instead of a fruit basket or a lifetime supply of Tom Cruise Purple, the Hubbard-loving Clear decided to treat both Posh and Becks to a private weekend getaway at one of Cruise’s favorite romantic spots in Napa Valley: his very own home!

”They wanted [Posh] and David to make use of their property [and] insisted that it should be just the two of them and that they should thoroughly spoil themselves.”

But after hearing more details on just how Tom planned this so-called “private” getaway, we’re worried the Beckhams are about to be abducted by a Xenuphobic SWAT team...

More »

3:10 PM on Wed May 14 2008
By Molly Friedman
4,261 views, 15 comments

a call to the bullpen

Tom Cruise Rewards Daughter For Baby Bottle Sobriety

More »
Baby's First Crush

Suri Cruise's Favorite Things: Toxic Bottles, Boys Named Brooklyn And High-Kicking Has-Beens

We hate to rain on Tom Cruise’s purity parade, but it seems his bundle of Hubbard Formula-chugging joy, Suri Cruise, has gone seriously gaga for two older men. And she’s got the giggles to show it. While babysitting for all three Beckham boys as David bent it like...well, lost to the visiting team, Tom and Katie brought finger-nibbling Suri along to watch. But the blanketed Cruiselette only had eyes for one guy: and he goes by Brooklyn Beckham. Tom did seem more interested in setting up Suri with the littlest Beckham (Cruz Beckham! Just picturing future Scientology couple Suri Cruise and Cruz Beckham likely made Tom's removable head spin with possibilities), Suri couldn’t keep her eyes off 9-year old Brooklyn. But earlier last week while still in NY, TomKat attended Suri’s favorite musical, and we have a feeling fellow Scientologist John Travolta’s role in the movie version had nothing to do with her ear-to-ear grin while leaving: a certain song-and-dancing Efronabbe got her all shook up... More »

9:46 AM on Mon May 12 2008
By Molly Friedman
5,129 views, 8 comments

Latest by poltergeist: @SanFranBetsu: I did miss it and now that I briefly looked at the link I'm glad I did. And to think that people believe my kids are screwed up, I'm going to have to forward that story to feel more »

scientology

Are Scientology Moms Katie Holmes And Leah Remini Feeding Their Kids Toxic 'Hubbard's Formula'?

We've become just about as well-versed as we want to when it comes to the bizarre practices of Scientologists, which run the gamut from silent birth to e-meters. But after hearing that Katie Holmes' precious little Suri is still on the baby bottle even after turning 2 years old, and that fellow Scientologist mommy Leah Remini's "sweet witty pain in the ass" 3-year old Sophia still drinks six bottles a night, we discovered some disturbing tales from other members of the cult religion who used "Hubbard's baby formula," only to wind up with "thin and colicky" toddlers that had their "baby teeth destroyed" and "screamed themselves to death." But as the defiant Remini says in this clip, "I could see her drinkig a bottle 'til she's 16." More details on Hubbard's toxic formula that was developed using methods from Ancient Rome (!!!) after the jump. More »

12:00 PM on Thu May 8 2008
By Molly Friedman
90,658 views, 90 comments

Latest by sundaeg1rl: You know how people are creeped out by people who breastfeed? I'm creeped out by those who don't, and in fact think breastfeeding is disgusting and unnatural. THAT'S criminal! Has anyone ever read the 'Tales of the Unexpected' 'Royal Jelly' story more »

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