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paging brad pitt
Jennifer Aniston And Cameron Diaz Exchange Sloppy Seconds
Just when Hollywood has seemingly runs out of ideas, it appears that the city of Los Angeles has also run out of dateable men. Two of Tinseltown's most eligible bachelorettes, Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz, have searched far and wide for the right arm candy, only to wind up scraping the bottom of the boy barrel. And their respective plights have gotten so dismal that the "sex-obsessed" blonde and "clingy" brunette are now swapping leftovers. As we already know far too well, Aniston has been gritting her teeth through this summer's most mysterious celebrity relationship with John Mayer, one of Diaz's former flings. And rumors earlier this month linking Diaz to a certain cokehead model have gained credibility after the actress was photographed out and about with the pretty-but-pretty-dumb Paul Sculfor. But the tale turns even more tragic: yet another sorry excuse for a man has nailed both A-listers, and managed to walk away the winner: More »
Power Lists
These Are Your Gods Now: Forbes Announces Its Celebrity 100
Having teased us already with a Celebrity 100 "drop-offs" list that included some of the brightest and most bankable names in the entertainment universe (they. did. not. just. say. Tom. Hanks—omgzyestheydiiiiddd), anticipation for the actual Celebrity 100 list—your annual ranking of the The World's Most Powerful Celebrities™ as verified by a team of accredited powerologists at the Forbes Institute for the Advancement of Obscene Wealth and Judgment-Summoning False Idolatry—was higher than ever. As always, Oprah Winfrey sits comfortably at the very top of the list, her $978 trillion empire affording her the luxury of purchasing everyone else in the top 100 for distribution among audience members as one of those "personal celebrity slaves I simply can't live without" on her next Favorite Things episode.
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When Hacks Collide
Jay Leno Is Totally Gay For Jessica Biel
Jay Leno is going through a sexual identity crisis. After getting in trouble with the gays for Ryan Phillippe GayFaceGate, it seems as though all the apologies and gay wedding attendances have him worried his flyover state fan base may have lost faith in his man’s man, Harley-riding rep. And in an effort to clean up that potential mess, he’s resorted to eagerly provoking Justin Timberlake into pervy chatter about the improvisational humor-challenged song and dance boy’s girlfriend Jessica Biel. To prove his macho prowess, he leaps suggestively into a tale about meeting Biel on a Jaywalk when she was just 15 or 16, and insists (twice, in fact) that all sorts of very heterosexual thoughts went flooding through his head. As uncomfortable as this clip makes us, Timberlake finds the entire ordeal a (quite literal) thigh-slapper. The pair’s respective desperate attempts at humor and machismo, after the jump. More »
Manboys
In Honor Of Ryan Seacrest's 'Momma's Boys,' We Salute Hollywood's Greatest Oedipal Wrecks
In light of the news that Ruler of the Universe Ryan Seacrest will soon be hosting a show on NBC called Momma’s Boys, we’re both delighted that the highlighted wunderkind has decided to ignore all the inevitable backlash, and disappointed that the show will be using mere mortals as contestants. Of all the male celebrities out there, Ryan is undoubtedly one of the most clear-cut examples of how we imagine our worst nightmare of a "Mother May I?" type to be, but he’s certainly not alone. Below, we nominate a few of our own submissions to the casting call printed in Backstage this week for “candidates who should be ready to be humiliated,” in celebrity form of course:
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Shut Up And Dance
Justin Timberlake Thinks 'Madge Or Whatever She Calls Herself' Isn't Nearly As Hip As He Is
Apparently Justin Timberlake and Madonna’s time spent collaborating in the studio was far from the sexy joy ride in needle park we originally envisioned. As Timberlake tells the altar-bound Ellen in this clip, the pair actually spent most of their time butting their beautiful heads over song lyrics. As surprised as we were to learn that either one of them actually writes their own lyrics in the first place, we were just as unsurprised by Timberlake’s continuous failed attempts to prove how funny he can be without cue cards. Sounding both desperate for a laugh and downright mean for daring to put down the vocally challenged but still iconic Madonna, we think the trouser snake should give up his comedy routine schtick for good. More »
when celebrities attack
Top Five Classic Celebrity Paparazzi Attacks (As Inspired By Sienna Miller's LAX Handbag Assault)
Casual nudity enthusiast Sienna Miller became an official card-carrying member of that elite group of celebrities who unleash their hate of paparazzi by way of physical assault. As the Daily Mail reports, Miller swung her pricey purse at one pap's face yesterday at LAX, possibly because he was a resident of Pittsburgh, or maybe she simply mistook him for Jude Law (as the pictures show, there is a resemblance to the nanny-loving baldie). But Sienna's moment of outrage prompted us to recall our all-time favorite When Celebrities Attack moments in time, from Woody Harrelson's caught-on-tape choke-hold to Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz's romantically executed freakout years ago. Our five top picks after the jump: More »
frenching the french
Madonna Slips Female Fan Some Tongue On Stage, Lourdes Asks 'Is Mommy Gay?'
Madonna can pretty much do whatever she wants at this point and the world will shrug its shoulders, whether she's assaulting Justin Timberlake with needles or spreading her soon-to-be-50-year old legs on album covers. But the vocally-challenged icon has taken her recent trip down memory lane as a pansexual nympho to new heights by inviting a female fan on stage during her concert last night and pulling a repeat performance of Madonna And Britney Spit Swap. Why? As she put it, "Why do I have this relationship with France? I'm always drawn to working with French people - and frenching French people...Vive la France!" A closer look at the kiss step by step, plus suddenly gorgeous daughter Lourdes' reaction, after the jump. More »
boy crazy
Cameron Diaz Spotted Leaving Party With Second Most Famous 'Entourage' Cast Member
Going through a tough breakup is never easy, but the subsequent tendency to canoodle with every available bachelor in town on a weekly basis rarely helps ease the pain. Case in point: Cameron Diaz, who has most recently been spotted "holding hands" with Entourage star and professional party-goer Kevin Connolly. And it seems like only yesterday when Diaz made out with Jason Patric on a beach, and only last week when Diaz was linked to 300 star Gerard Butler. And the list has gone on and on — Criss Angel! Djimon Hounsou! — ever since long-term boyfriend Justin Timberlake headed for curvier pastures last year. We take a closer look at the self-professed "boy-crazy" Cameron's evening with E after the jump. More »
trade roundup
Rob Thomas Finally Eclipses Rob Thomas
· En fuego producer Rob Thomas sells his third pilot of the season, this one to ABC. (He already sold them Cupid, and sold The CW the 90210 spinoff.) Based on a Kiwi show, Outrageous Fortune follows "matriarch of a family of criminals [who] decides it is time for her brood to go straight when her husband ends up in the clink for five years." Your move, Matchbox 20's Rob Thomas! [THR]· FremantleMedia is bringing Family Feud to primetime for the first time in its 30 year history, where it will air along with American Gladiators on NBC's "For The Love of All That is Holy, Just Pick Up A Book Already" summer programming block. [Variety]
· Elizabeth "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" Banks has been cast as the First Lady in Oliver Stone's Bush. Stop your snickering! [THR]
dick in a box
Justin Timberlake Is Only Funny When He Puts His Dick In A Box
We have some troubling news to report: contrary to popular belief, Justin Timberlake is (spoiler alert) not funny. According to Radar Online, that masterful introductory speech JT recited at the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame on Monday night was more than just a fun series of anecdotes about Madonna's B12 shots and Britney putdowns. For those on the scene, it was a painful series of awkward silences and lame attempts at humor, made even more painful by Justin's Norton-like tries at improvising some jokes of his own:"Timberlake's attempts at humor flopped, and breaking into a falsetto sing-songy funnyvoice after botching a scripted line didn't help...When he finished, the NSYNCsman was asked by one of the producers if he 'felt good about the speech.' 'Yeah. I mean, how is everyone else's [speech]?' Timberlake replied nervously."More »
validation
Asses, Shoes, And E: Just The Good Parts Of Madonna's Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction
As we noted earlier, living pop icon Madonna, who was once nailed to the disco-cross for our voguing sins, was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last night at New York's Waldorf Astoria Hotel. She was first introduced by recent collaborator/turning-out-victim Justin Timberlake, who warmed up the crowd with an amusing anecdote about the time Madonna injected his SexyBack with a B12 vitamin shot. (At least that's what she told him she was doing, though we suspect that syringe was pulling in the opposite direction, drawing the necessary genetic matter for a longer-term project that involves melding two generations of pop superstars' DNA together into a single, hybrid host body for her cryogenically preserved brain.)
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sex drugs and vitamins
How To Get Justin Timberlake Naked: A Bedtime Story By Madonna
At last night's Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame ceremony, Justin Timberlake reignited some long-dead interest in Madonna's sex life by revealing one of her current flirting tactics. And while it doesn't compare with a simulated blow job, it may be more effective in today's health-concerned times. It seems that when Justin and Madge got together to work on her next album, Hard Candy, she dipped into her bag of tricks and fetched a liquid-filled syringe. And even though the injections in question didn't contain GHB or roofies, they did have this desirable effect on Timberlake:"I don't know what you say to that, so I immediately dropped my pants. She gave me a shot in my ass and looks at me and says, 'Nice top shelf.' That was one of the greatest days of my life."More »
trade roundup
'The Departed' Gang Back For A 'Chaser'
· Warner Bros. snapped up the rights to South Korean hit The Chaser, with The Departed writer William Monahan set to write the adaption, and Leonardo DiCaprio and the Really Obvious Departed Rat "circling to star." [Variety]
· John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph will star in an untitled "relationship comedy" written by Dave Eggers and his wife Vendela Vida, bringing Eggers one terrifying step closer to writing a Matthew McConaughey-Kate Hudson vehicle. [Variety]
More gratuitous male shirtlessness! Golden Boy of the Century Justin Timberlake is in talks to be the new face of Givenchy men's cologne. Touted to come in an eye-catching, hand-sculpted dispenser bottle handsomely wrapped in sleek packaging, Dick dans une Boite pour Homme is sure to be the hot men's fragrance seller come Christmas time. [Marie Claire]
hollywood privacywatch
Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong Enjoy Intimate Man Date At Cut
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time Andy Dick asked if he could Adrian the Grenier out of you.
In today's episode: Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong; Justin Timberlake; Susan Sarandon; Kiefer Sutherland; David Beckham; Courtney Love; Lindsay Lohan, Balthazar Getty, Taryn Manning, Avril Lavine and Deryck Whibley; David Spade and Verne Troyer; Anne Heche; Adrian Grenier; James Cromwell, Jeremy Sisto, Lake Bell, and Dita Von Teese; Kyle MacLachlan, Chad Lowe, and Bridget Moynahan; John Mayer; Andy Dick; Christina Ricci; Greg Germann; Ian Ziering; Enrico Colantoni, Judy Reyes, and Curt Smith; Scott Caan; Wanda Sykes; Diablo Cody; Greg Grunberg; Daniel Baldwin; Jason Segal; Zoe Bell; Vanessa Paradis; Nathan Fillion; and Adnan Ghalib.
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stinky and pinky
