Defamer
Joshua Kelley
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The Cling
John Mayer Having A Hard Time Deciding Whether The Cameras or 'Clingy' Jennifer Aniston Is More Important
Sadly, not all girly song-writing musicians are as easily whipped into shape as Joshua Kelley Heigl. And Jennifer Aniston is discovering this pesky factoid the hard way. In an attempt to gather some overseas materials for her inevitable post break-up scrapbooking sesh, Aniston reportedly spent much of John Mayer’s Hyde Park concert “snapping pictures,” tapping her foot and showering him with over-enthusiastic embraces and forced PDA as soon as he got a moment to relax. In short? “Clingy” Jennifer is back, and it only takes one photo frighteningly reminiscent of Ben Affleck’s passion-void camera-centric “kiss” to Jennifer Lopez in 2003 to signal trouble on the horizon. More details surrounding Aniston’s steadily approaching familiar descent towards relationship desperation after the jump. More »Swindlers, Sex Tapes And Coreys
· Things we learned at the Los Angeles Film Festival this week. School Of Rock 2 isn't a pipe dream. Guillermo del Toro isn't going to milk The Hobbit. Women deserve equal talk show hosting rights, too. Nobody wanted to make Animal House. Chris Carter is as secretive as ever. Did somebody order stake?
· The battle between the Paps and the Surfs was kinda like the Greasers versus the Socs, only with the newly blackberry-less Matthew McConaughey playing the role of Dally. But what of the rematch?
· Mini-Me showed the world his mini-me, which should help him knock down that large tax debt.
· Raffaello Follieri, Anne Hathaway's sketchball ex, got pinched for attempting to defraud God. A judge set bail at $21 million, but who's gonna take care of the dog?
· Mary Kate Olsen de-pruned herself long enough to convince Dave Letterman that her old arch enemy Spencer Pratt is, indeed, a prat.
· No one was safe as we counted down the Hollywood's Top Ten Worst Kissers.
· Wall-E manged to get fatties and Republicans up in arms without saying a word.
· Whoa, who raped the Coreys? One mystery solved, one to go.
· AC Slater found himself embroiled in Chesthairgate.
· The Emasculation of Joshua continued, as Katherine Heigl used her whipped husband as an ashtray and made him curl her hair. Joshua did not escape unscathed.
· You can ongratulate Jason Bateman on the impending Arrested Development movie, but be sure you don't bring up pregnant teens.
· We had a dream. We had an awesome dream. Mainly b/c it was filled with lesbian werewolves.
·: Noted blog-hater Patrick Goldstein entered the blogosphere. We can only guess how many of his 1,100 pageviews came from his IP address.
· Which groovy comedy superstar is openly courting other men to touch his monkey? Perhaps they should frequent the Fox and Sony lots?
· Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits. We'll miss you, George.
Love Hurts
Joshua Kelley Just Won't Shut Up About Curling Katherine Heigl's Hair
After a whirlwind month of snubbing her fame-enabling Grey’s Anatomy writers, the entire Academy of Television Arts & Sciences and anyone unlucky enough to get a whiff of her second-hand smoke, Katherine Heigl is somehow still idolized and worshiped by her emasculated husband Joshua Kelley. As we noted yesterday, Heigl spent most of Kelley’s weekend gig at Hotel Cafe shouting out requests for songs, songs which have all been recently altered to include the name Katie in place of any other girl’s name. But most disturbingly, the “rocker” reportedly overshared the fact that he had “curled her hair” before the show. And just how important is it that Kelley spend his pre-show time grooming his pompous pony? So important that he’s suffered third-degree burns and dehabilitated his ability to play the guitar, all in the name of love. The excruciating details, after the jump. More »
Nic Fits
The Smokey Bunch: Young Hollywood Just Can't Quit Cigs
Loose-lipped Jack Black has recently decided to abandon his pre-married man habits like staying up too late with “beer” and “dudes,” but by far the most impressive habit Black claims to have kicked is smoking. Though we don't really immediately picture a carton of cigarettes when thinking of the Brangelina baby blabber, there are more than a few stars who we see smoking so often we automatically reach for a cancer stick whenever we see them on-screen. So who are the smokiest chimneys in Hollywood these days? We put together a list of the newbies and their predecessors, all of whom we feel should be notified that Joshua Kelley, no matter what Heigl has told them, is not, in fact, an ashtray: More »
Freebird!
Katherine Heigl Barks Set List Instructions To Hubby During Rousing 'Emasculation Of Joshua' Concert
Katherine Heigl's constant bids to control her husband Josh "Call Me Joshua" Kelley's A.D.D. addled life is truly the gift that keeps on giving. Whether it's explaining to David Letterman that the house that the newlyweds live in is most certainly hers or confiding to Oprah that she's not even really sure if she'll like Joshua once she gets to know him, we are firmly settled into Month Six of what's come to be known as "The Emasculation Of Joshua" tour. However, just when you thought that she would tone things down a smidge, Heigl's controlling ways took new life when her not-at-all-whipped "rocker" husband took to the stage at Hollywood's Hotel Café on Friday night. According to a tipster for People:
More »Katherine Heigl was front and center at [Joshua Kelley's] intimate gig. The Grey's Anatomy star sat with a girlfriend, and shouted out requests for songs.
In Katherine Heigl's World, Joshua Kelley Is But An Ashtray
Move over Norma Desmond — Katherine Heigl is here. After Heigl's baffling antics over the past few weeks, namely snubbing her Grey's Anatomy fame enablers and any fan who may have actually enjoyed her pretty neurotic mess of a character on the show, this clip of Heigl voicing her disgust with "writers?!?" proves just how big Heigl's nicotine-scented head has grown. And to make matters worse, the images awaiting you after the jump of Heigl vacationing with emasculated husband Joshua Kelley, in which her emasculated servant is used as both her kickboxing target and ashtray give new meaning to Desmond's infamous diva-turned-delinquent madwoman trajectory. Catch Heigl at her heights while you can before the inevitable backlash to the backlash to the backlash begins, after the jump: More »
katherine heigl
Katherine Heigl Seeks Escape From Doomed 'Grey's' In Search Of Big-Screen Stardom
We've been poking fun at Katherine Heigl for months now, and with good reason: she just can't stop saying the darndest things about her emasculated husband Joshua Kelley, she is completely lacking gaydar ... frankly, this list could go on for hours. But after hearing the news that Heigl is pushing for an escape from the ratings-challenged Grey's Anatomy following a fiscally successful contract renegotiation later made public, we're inching towards Team Heigl for the first time. As a source tells MSNBC: More »
the emasculation of joshua
Not Only Does Katherine Heigl Wear The Pants In Her Marriage, She Also Wears The Boxer Briefs
As we've come to learn over the past few months, Katherine Heigl wears the pants in her relationship with crooner Josh "Call Me Joshua" Kelley. She's made it clear that when it comes to baby-making, attracting gay men and winning Hollywood over, Heigl will have us know that she pretty much outperforms her hubby in every way. And just to prove her point that much further, Josh's beloved Katie will soon appear on the big screen wearing a very tight pair of tighty whities. And putting our strained relationship with "the next Julia Roberts" aside, we must say she's about to give Tom Cruise a run for his money.
More »
gaydar love
Katherine Heigl Doesn't Understand Why Any Guy, Gay Or Straight, Wouldn't Want Her
Not only does Katherine Heigl lack the sensitivity gene when it comes to her marital bliss, but she's also missing a hefty dose of gaydar. Before her Grey's Anatomy co-star T.R. Knight was sweetly outed by since-fired Isaiah Washington, Katie apparently had a big ol' schoolgirl crush on him during the first season. And in standard Heigl fashion, she simply couldn't comprehend why T.R. wasn't showering her with affection after weeks of batting her lashes and sending out ostentatious signals. As The Sun quotes Katie:
"I was getting nowhere and I was super-confused. I was like, 'Hello? Do I have something hanging out of my nose? Why aren't you paying any attention to me?"More »
Katherine Heigl continues to ever so subtly remind her husband Josh "Call Me Joshua" Kelley that she does, and always will, wear the pants in their frightening relationship. This time, domestic issues are going beyond proving her social dominance or explaining on national television that their marriage would likely dissolve should they be forced to spend two consecutive weeks together. No, now Katie's moved on to the touchy topic of having Heiglets. And unsurprisingly, she plans on having them when she wants them, no matter how unready Joshua may be. As she puts it, "I think he'd prefer to wait a little more time, but I kind of wouldn't." [People]
