jimmy kimmel
Yesterday, we noted a Gawker item suggesting that Molly McNearney, who swiftly ascended the Jimmy Kimmel Live! ranks from lowly Chinese Theater Chewbacca-wrangling assistant to that show's head writer, had been the woman who came between Kimmel and Sarah Silverman. A Defamer tipster who knows McNearny wrote us to say this couldn't be further from the truth:
She is absolutely NOT banging Jimmy Kimmel. She was promoted from assistant to staff writer, and then from staff writer to head writer. Where's the controversy there? That's kinda how it works in this biz.
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A day after the world learned that
Jimmy Kimmel would teabag Sarah Silverman no more, are we glimpsing the face of the
other woman? A tipster to Gawker writes: "Her name is Molly McNearney...and she's been promoted all the way (with one stop in between) from assistant to head writer for
Jimmy Kimmel Live!" The last time someone ascended from the trenches so quickly, it was Merv Griffin's topiary-manicurist, Ryan Seacrest. Which doesn't necessarily mean they are doing it—just that someone saw a great deal of potential in someone else, and made all the necessary arrangements. [
Gawker]
not fucking jimmy kimmel
We don't know how many more young Hollywood power-couple breakups our hearts can bear: Days after learning that Drew Barrymore would never again look the Mac Guy in his built-in iSights, cooing, "You're so unbelievably special and have a huge, amazing heart. You really do have the soul of a manatee—free and strong and beautiful," out of the side of her mouth, comes word now that Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel's open-fucking-relationship is no longer. (Sure, this seems like Matt Damon's perfect opportunity to swoop in and bag the potty-mouthed Jewess of his dreams, but we'd argue that it was the illicit nature of their mini-bar rendezvous that really fueled the affair. Now that she's available, we doubt we'll be hearing any musical odes to fat Damon moustache rides.) While their flacks would only offer, "Jimmy and Sarah will have no further comment," usmagazine.com spotted Silverman with "a male friend" at WeHo bruncherie Hugo's, where they obsessively chronicled her every menu choice, facial expression, and A-list tableside condolence:
"She really looked like she was in good spirits," an observer tells Us. "She was laughing and smiling. Very animated."
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democracy, brother
Say your prayers, eat your vitamins and vote for Barack Obama! Or so sayeth
Hulk Hogan, who suplexed and then leg-dropped an unsuspecting Clinton camp on
Jimmy Kimmel Live by pledging his allegiance and his vote to Obama. And although our experience in the art of campaigning begins and ends with our run for Student Council back in high school (which, we might add, was successful ... three times!), we're pretty darn sure that the Obama ticket could really benefit by awarding the Hulkster a spot on to their roster. Perhaps this is finally the way that Obama can silence the critics who claim he lacks experience in foreign diplomacy!
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britney's gays
Former 'NSYNC member Lance Bass popped by Jimmy Kimmel Live! to promote his memoir Out of Sync (opening sentence: "I've known I was different ever since I was five years old. For one thing, I had what I guess you could call innocent crushes on boys."). He relayed, for an extremely gay-curious Kimmel, the story of how he came out to Britney Spears back in 2004:
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friday morning sing-a-long
To celebrate the 5th anniversary of boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel's ascension to ABC's late night throne, Sarah Silverman decided it was time to come clean—in song, unsurprisingly—about the torrid, fuck-filled affair she's been having with secretly devious Hollywood Nice Guy Matt Damon, who's quietly been delivering carnal payback for years of being Kimmel's sign-off joke ("Apologies to Matt Damon, we've run out of time," etc) in the form of erotic pillow fights, up-against-the-minibar penetrations, and Scrabulous-enhanced trysts with the cuckolded host's longtime partner.
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couch swap
Finding it nearly impossible to land quality guests because of talent's maddening unwillingness to run a gauntlet of taunting, red-shirted WGA picketers just to spend six uncomfortable minutes trying to sound enthused about a movie they only took to make a weekend-house mortgage payment, Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel last night paid reciprocal visits to each other's star-hungry couches, hoping that chatting about their strike-related travails might be a diverting way to kill a few minutes of airtime.
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An operative who's currently over at
The Tonight Show's Burbank studios to witness the first leg of
Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel's couch-swapping stunt has helpfully informed us that staffers are still trying to fill about 50 seats for the taping, which is apparently not as hot a ticket as they'd hoped. We thought we'd pass along this information in case any readers in the area wanted to drop by and experience this landmark moment in late-night history in person; if nothing else, it might be interesting to see how much air-time the writerless hosts can fill by commisserating about how hard it is to book guests who are willing to cross a picket line.
the return of late night
Though we've already awarded victory in last night's Return of Late Night TV talk-show wars to Conan O'Brien, whose downy Strike Beard simultaneously displayed solidarity with his absent writing staff and offered comfort to millions of fans anxious about how Hollywood's labor unrest affects the Masturbating Bear's ability to release the painful tension in his ursine nether-regions, we think it's important that everyone be provided with an opportunity to make up their own minds about whether the jokes scripted by Guild scribes were actually more successful than ones delivered by hosts forced to generate their own material. To that end, Gawker Media video operative Richard Blakeley whipped up this montage (click the above thumbnail to view) allowing you to compare their parallel efforts at entertaining America. Enjoy.
the return of late night
Jimmy Kimmel Live started out with a bawdy jibe about fathering a teenage Spears lovechild—a gem likely polished to perfection while lying in a bathtub and staring at two hairy kneecaps protruding from the milky water—but then things took a serious and controversial turn: After offering his audience a primer on what it is strikers are asking for (free internet access), Kimmel said that he didn't want to "depart too much from the party line," then proceeded to board a Party Line Getaways Jet Tours Adventure, railing against "ridiculous" picket lines and SAG's blacklist bullying of potential guests, before demanding that the public "run down these weasel-faced Commies" until their "red insides fill your tire treads." Then he turned to deadpan security guard Veatrice for her take on the labor unrest.
For those of you whose DVRs lack the capacity to capture all of the action from tonight's much-ballyhooed Return Of The
Late Night Talk Shows, we've got you covered: In just a few short hours, we'll be posting clips from the monologues of each host frog-marched before the cameras—even
Craig Ferguson, probably!—to see how each handles the delicate matter of explaining to America why they're back at work while their writers are still outside on the picket line without actually using the words, "The network threatened to execute every below-the-line employee if I didn't come back tonight." (Or in the case of Letterman and Ferguson, we'll look at how they show off the competitive advantage that cutting a deal with the WGA affords them.) See you then for what promises to be a magically awkward evening! [Bearded Letterman photo: AP]
trade roundup
· Following NBC's
Monday announcement that it's sending Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien back to work without writers, ABC's
Jimmy Kimmel is the next late-night domino to fall, as he'll join his competitors in producing scribe-free shows on January 2nd. The now-obligatory "I support the cause but I don't want the rest of the staff losing their jobs" back-to-work statement: "Though it makes me sick to do so without my writers, there are more than 100 people whose financial well-being depends on our show. It is time to go back to work. I support my colleagues and friends in the WGA completely and hope this ends both fairly and soon." [
THR]
· Universal's
State of Play, which recently weathered an acting upgrade/heartthrob downgrade when Russell Crowe replaced a fleeing Brad Pitt, is now officially troubled™: Ed Norton has also left the project, and up-and-coming director Ben Affleck is now "in talks" to resume his acting career by taking Norton's place. [
Variety]
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Just when strike-related news seems at its
Longoria-kidnapping bleakest, a glimmer of hope arrives in the form of
yet another talk show host bearing morale-boosting snacks for his picketing compatriots, as a tipster reports from the Olive/Barham gate of the Warner Bros. lot: "[Was] walking the line with dozens of other writers and several SAG members (most recognizably, a very friendly Jon Cryer from
Two and a Half Men and
Pretty in Pink fame, when suddenly a white van pulls up and
Jimmy Kimmel and a few assistant-types jump out, set up a table and bring out A LOAD of food to feed the strikers. And not just any food, but tasty grub from a great Mexican place in the farmers market. Anyway, Kimmel was VERY friendly and seemed genuine in his support. Right on!"
another dick with a bee movie
We're going to have to give the cast of Jimmy Kimmel Live this year's Best Talk Show Costume trophy, with Jimmy, the band, and the security team decked out as every significant cereal mascot of the past 100 years (video here).
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trade roundup
· Viacom CEO Philippe Dauman prepares for the jilting DreamWorks partners David Geffen and Steven Spielberg may inflict upon Paramount, calling their potential departure for a new studio venture "completely immaterial" to his company's happiness and inviting the pair to "go ahead and fuck whoever you want, you disloyal little tramps, see if I care! My heart will go on!" [Variety]
ยท Jimmy Kimmel will host the AMAs* for an amazing fourth time. [*the American Music Awards, more popularly known as the "Retarded Grammies."] [THR]
· Happy news: AMC is about to pick up the awesome Mad Men for a second season, the network's tribute to the drinking—Scotch-in-the-office, secretary-banging heyday of the 1960s advertising world. [Variety]
· Eddie Haskell is mad as hell at SAG over undisbursed foreign Beaver residuals and not going to take it anymore [THR]
· It's Matthew McConaughey's Hollywood, and we're all just living in it: Jennifer Garner is in negotiations to star opposite a "charmingly womanzing" McConaughey in New Line's Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, and McConaughey takes Owen Wilson's place in Tropic Thunder, from which Wilson recently withdrew due to, um, "creative differences" or something. [Variety, Variety]
Defamer
