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dirt sandwich
Lindsay Lohan And The Case Of The Fur Burglar
You know what sounds good right about now? No, besides a few glasses of Glenmorangie. Yep, that's right, a mouthwatering Dirt Sandwich. Defamer's resident Sandwich Artist, Molly McAleer, spent all week combing through oodles and oodles of high-caliber celebrity infotainment programming in search of the tastiest ingredients this side of a fresh crop of salvia. This week's installment features Prince William's rapidly eroding hairline, TMZ's (imagined) kidnapping of Paris Hilton, David Foster's truly brutal verbal pummeling of Idol reject Jason Castro and, of course, Lindsay Lohan's minknapping incident (which, naturally, Dina Lohan chalks up as part of the vast media conspiracy against her eldest daughter). Enjoy!
scientology
cult religion who used "Hubbard's baby formula," only to wind up with "thin and colicky" toddlers that had their "baby teeth destroyed" and "screamed themselves to death." But as the defiant Remini says in this clip, "I could see her drinkig a bottle 'til she's 16." More details on Hubbard's toxic formula that was developed using methods from Ancient Rome (!!!) after the jump.
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Are Scientology Moms Katie Holmes And Leah Remini Feeding Their Kids Toxic 'Hubbard's Formula'?
We've become just about as well-versed as we want to when it comes to the bizarre practices of Scientologists, which run the gamut from silent birth to e-meters. But after hearing that Katie Holmes' precious little Suri is still on the baby bottle even after turning 2 years old, and that fellow Scientologist mommy Leah Remini's "sweet witty pain in the ass" 3-year old Sophia still drinks six bottles a night, we discovered some disturbing tales from other members of the
drunk girls
Next On 'Tyra': Dr. Drew's Drunken Slut Intervention!
Night sweats? Crippling depression? Physical incapacitation? Yes, you're probably experiencing Celebrity Rehab withdrawal systems. To help ween you off the sweet high of a season spent freebasing Dr. Drew and his ragtag gang of Pasadena Recovery Center misfits, Defamer videographer Molly McAleer brings you outtakes from today's Very Special Tyra™, an episode devoted entirely to the behaviors and mating habits of the drunkus slutticus, more commonly known as the urban party girl. What the girls didn't see coming—not even the one who casually relates the time she totally forgot about the hookup-dampering tampon she was harboring—was that Dr. Drew himself was on hand for a Dr. Drew® Intervention™. With him, his lovely assistant Mary Carey, who saw in these troubled, ladies-of-the-ladies'-night a version of her own, formerly hammered self. Whether they chose to heed her warnings, fearful of a fate in which they too find themselves regaining consciousness on an unfamiliar bathroom floor (a scenario rendered all the more disconcerting once you crawl out of the stall and notice the row of urinals lining the wall) is really up to them. [Tyra]
still lonely
I Believe In You And Meep: Celebrating The Bachelor's Amanda
Last night brought us the always anticipated The Bachelor reunion show, and while it didn't come close to reaching the dramatic heights of last season's stunning confrontation between hunky-faced Brad Womack and the shunted women he so callously tossed aside like used bedside facial tissue, it did feature some satisfying moments. Absent from the proceedings was finalist Shayne Lamas, scion of the Lamas Family Acting Dynasty, who, despite what her father might tell you, is truly, madly, deeply in love with What's-His-Face from London Town. More »
dirt sandwich
Which Star Just Told Us She Has A Fake Butt?
If you are on the hunt for comfort food for your brain, look no further than this week's flavor-packed installment of Dirt Sandwich. Each week, our superstar videotrix Molly McAleer puts her very sanity on the line for you, the loyal Defamer reader, as she pours through over a dozen hours of infotainment shows looking for moments of high camp from TV journalism's lowlifes. This week's episode features only the hottest of hott topics, including Miley Cyrus' initial reaction to Annie Liebovitz's now controversial Vanity Fair spread ("Annie took, like, a beautiful shot"), Donny Osmond's nationwide manhunt for a gentleman caller willing to date his sister, Harvey Levin drooling over some new Halle Berry pics and, of course, the appearance of a cow on the set of Extra. And no, we're not talking about Dayna Devon. Enjoy!
beautiful and damned
Does Landing The Cover Of People's 'Most Beautiful' Issue Come With A Curse?
Today, People has revealed that Kate Hudson will appear as the cover girl for their 2008 Most Beautiful People issue, and we'd certainly like to send out a hearty congrats to the recently divorced single mom who's currently nursing Owen Wilson back to health. But after taking a look back at the list of stars who've previously nabbed the annual issue's cover spot, we fear there may be a curse accompanying the glossy honor. Sure, Leonardo DiCaprio (1998) and Julia Roberts (2000, 2005) haven't slipped up since having their smiley visage top the list, but a sizeable chunk of the winning alumni eerily saw their public and private lives undergo a downward spiral following their appearance on the issue's cover. We took a closer look at the possible curse-laden honor after the jump: More »
dirt sandwich
Brad Pitt's Chilling 911 Bear Attack Call
How quickly the week rolls by when we know a brand new Dirt Sandwich—Defamer videographer and part-time, uncredited massage therapist Molly McAleer's attempt at making some condensed sense of the week in tabloid television—is waiting for us at the end of it. Today's 6-inch treat comes served on freshly baked jalapeno cheesy bread, overstuffed with slutty Mileys, drunk Lindsays, bear-attack 911 calls, and Brad Pitt in head-to-toe leather undies (kinky!). Most amazing of all, however, is one anonymous TMZ staffer's cracking of the Cheryl Burke Bangs Code, a complex theorem linking the angle of the Dancing with the Stars regular's hair to her blood alcohol level. Watch and learn!
fierceness
Gwyneth Paltrow's Fetish For Kinky Shoes Reveals Her Inner Bad Girl
We've always tended to label the polished, well-spoken Gwyneth Paltrow as one of those overly perfect women you want to hate but, irritatingly, can't muster up any good reasons to. But thanks to her recent habit of promoting Iron Man across the globe while wearing some of the most fierce, outlandish, downright kinky pairs of shoes, we officially have no desire to hate the girl anymore. From Rome to London to New York, Paltrow's wildly varied kickers range from towering 7-inch beauties to strappy lace-up ankle booties. And we (well, I) want 'em all. A closer look at Gwyneth's racy choices after the jump. More »
seeing what sticks
While all three of these spots appear after the jump, we thought it would be fun to enlist Defamer's videographer par excellence Molly McAleer to cut a commercial for the film that would play to all the thrill-seeking teens who have made Prom Night one of this spring's surprise B.O. hits (above). Feel free to use our cut, Universal marketing team — all we ask for is a link in return. Enjoy! More »
Marketing 'Baby Mama': Universal Tries The Kitchen Sink Approach
Ever since Mean Girls became a runaway success back in 2004, Tina Fey has been riding a wave of near universal acclaim. Her ability to ride that tasty wave of popularity for the last four years without succumbing to any nasty wipeouts has arguably turned her into the Laird Hamilton of the Writers-Turned-Performers circuit. But when Baby Mama hits theaters this weekend, all of that cred that she has built up will be put to the test. Not only has Variety's Todd McCarthy gone on record calling it "exceedingly predictable", but Videogum has been trumpeting the notion that "Tina Fey-Tigue" is about to set in for the last week and some change. Recognizing that this film doesn't exactly fit the mold of traditional studio comedies (namely, in that it stars two female protagonists), Universal has been throwing a bunch of dollars at Baby Mama television advertising over the last few weeks, alternately positioning the film as a Tina Fey Vehicle, a film In Which Amy Poehler Steals The Show and, gasp, as something that even sports-loving, beer guzzling men will dig (specifically, by scoring the spots with The Cars' dude-friendly power pop anthem "Just What I Needed").While all three of these spots appear after the jump, we thought it would be fun to enlist Defamer's videographer par excellence Molly McAleer to cut a commercial for the film that would play to all the thrill-seeking teens who have made Prom Night one of this spring's surprise B.O. hits (above). Feel free to use our cut, Universal marketing team — all we ask for is a link in return. Enjoy! More »
girl powers
Whither Our Superheroines? An Outraged Culture Demands To Know
In all the drama surrounding Edward Norton's Hulk trouble and Iron Man star Robert Downey Jr.'s gloriously checkered past, we've overlooked one of the more conspicuous problems afflicting this summer's superhero glut. To wit: Where are all the women? Are there any comics featuring female heroes whom some studio will take a chance shepherding to the screen? At least one commentator shares our concern at Vulture, and the prognosis isn't looking good: More »
dirt sandwich
Deborah Norville As Titillated As You Are By Sight Of Heather Locklear In A Bikini
It's time once again for Dirt Sandwich, the brain-smoothing snack that simulates the experience of Being Pat O'Brien—if only for a few fleeting minutes, before dumping you out unceremoniously somewhere near the Nevada Turnpike. This week's episode, lovingly pressed by Defamer's own master videologist (and part-time FBI forensic psychiatrist who only has 88 minutes to solve her own murder!) Molly McAleer, is chock-full of as many deli-meat shockers and condiment exclusives as we could cram between two slices of bread: Christie Brinkley's bearded mystery man! Someone screaming at a white Mercedes! And two varieties of cancer! And for just $1.49 more, you can make it a combo with chips and a drink. So what are you waiting for? Dig in.
interviews
Exclusive: 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' Director Gives Us The Most Penis-tastic Interview Ever
Nicholas Stoller is having a very good year. After being taken under the mighty wing of Judd Apatow, his hilarious-yet-touching directorial debut, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, opens today. Not only that, he and star Jason Segel are currently making the new Muppet movie. Clearly, it's time to learn a little more about this guy before he becomes too much of a big shot. Since they're old friends, we asked our frequent guest-blogger Nick Malis (who contractually required us to plug Malis in Wonderland and Cute Things Falling Asleep) to interview Stoller. What follows is a fascinating portrait of a young artist at the dawn of his career. Also, he talks about penises a lot. Stick around after the jump to hear Stoller opine on the homoerotic world of Judd Apatow's office, seeing Kristen Bell naked, and what Richard Roeper is like in bed.
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fractured friendships
Did Tom Cruise Successfully Oust Katie Holmes From Victoria Beckham's VIP Club?
Victoria Beckham and her razor-sharp cheekbones celebrated her 34th birthday last night alongside soon-to-be Yeshivite husband David, and two new female friends: Eva Longoria and Kate Beckinsale, both of whom were dressed to the nines in order to live up to the immaculately glamorous appearances Posh and her cronies tend to exhibit. But were Longoria and Beckinsale also trying to fill the stilettos of Beckham BFF, a role Katie Holmes has filled for so many years? Favored dining, uh, dieting companions Tom and Katie were noticeably absent from the festivities. Did Tom Cruise's wishes to keep Katie away from the bobble-headed Brit come true so quickly? More »
exclusives
Exclusive: Debunking The Marilyn Monroe 'Sex Tape' Hoax
Yesterday, news broke that an ancient sex tape allegedly showing Marilyn Monroe giving a blowjoy to an unidentified male had not only surfaced, but had also been sold to an anonymous New York collector for $1.5 million. The NY Post's Hasani Gittens broke the story after interviewing Keya Morgan, a memorabilia collector who claims to have brokered the sale of the 15 minute reel. However, what the Post failed to mention in their story is that Morgan is well-known within the tight-knit circle of Marilyn Monroe memorabilia collectors for being a sycophantic, press hungry namedropper (check out his likely self-penned IMDB bio) whose main objective is to promote himself and the Monroe documentary that he is working on. Not only has he been known to casually claim that he has dated both Mariah Carey and Renee Zellweger, he has thus far refused to disclose either the names of either the seller or buyer of the tape; additionally, he has not been able to provide evidence that this alleged sale even occurred.
To that end, Defamer worked with a trio of Marilyn Monroe experts in an effort to get to the bottom of Keya Morgan's outrageous claims. The team of Mark Bellinghaus (one of the foremost Marilyn Monroe experts/collectors in the world), Ernest W. Cunningham (author of The Ultimate Marilyn) and freelance journalist Jennifer J. Dickinson to put together the following piece. It's one of the longer pieces that we have ever published at Defamer, but we think that it's well worth your time. And with that, please enjoy. — MDG
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baby fever
Topping Kate Hudson's Shopping List: Men, Babies And Pretty British Boys
Even though she's only 28 and has already spawned one mini-me, Kate Hudson has baby fever. In an interview with London's Sunday Times, the smiley actress unloaded some very Cameron Diaz-esque baggage, including the fact that she's oh-so-ready to get knocked up as soon as possible. And apparently, Hudson has figured out the elusive secret to determining whether a potential suitor is a "man" or a "boy." But when it comes to dating, Hudson just needs a pretty pair of lips:"I need to find that 18-year-old in me again, who was way more adventurous when it came to kissing boys...I would love nothing more than to have a good, honest make out sesh."How Owen made the cut, and which Brit actor may be competition after the jump. More »
spoilers
Three Things You Know You Want To Know About 'SATC: The Movie' (Even Though You'd Never Admit It)
Despite all the photos we've seen from the Sex And The City movie set, and all the rumors circling around about plotlines and marriages and dream sequences, fans of the show are still in the dark regarding what lies in store for the four aging heroines. And expressing any interest whatsoever is somewhat embarrassing, since caring about the futures of Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte has become slightly de rigueur as each passing year post-finale makes SATC episodes look more and more ancient and silly. But for those of you who feel no shame in wondering what happens in the big-screen version of the girls' lives (at least in the privacy of your own cubicle or home), the NY Post has provided a few spoilers to satisfy your curiosity. More info after the jump; warning, it's spoiler heavy.
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dirt sandwich
