Jessica Alba Is Pregnant, Hungry and Unwilling To Wait In Line

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week (depending on volume), so send them in early and often—without them, we'll surely be forced to endure another Pellicano trial! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Jessica Alba cut in the breakfast line at the Griddle Cafe.

In today's installment: Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, Kiefer Sutherland, Jay Leno, Goldie Hawn (with Oliver Hudson), Adam Brody, Cheryl Hines, Ali Landry, Davy Jones (singing karaoke, no less!), Casey Affleck, Traci Lords, Marlee Matlin, Dog The Bounty Hunter, Chris O'Donnell, Adam Carolla, Romany Malco, Scott Caan, Dee Snider, Ms. Jay, Robert Culp and more!

'Done Deal': Jimmy Fallon To Replace Conan O'Brien In '09

Jason Segel Changes Story Just In Time For Last 'Sarah Marshall' Interview

As we put this week to bed, it's time to reflect, project, deflect and genuflect on the week that was...
· Big week for Gorgeous George Clooney. His passion project, Leatherheads,
disappointed at the box office (twice!), he was on the receiving end of a threatening phone call and his sand-loving girlfriend turned his bachelor pad into Yankee Candle outlet. Ah, who are we kidding? He can still pull digits with the best of 'em.
· Ellen Page butched it up on Leno and may (or may not!) have dissed Hanoi Jane.
· Certainly, Tom Cruise has had better weeks. MGM tried to spin Valkyrie's second release date pushback as a B.O. ploy, but we knew better.
· Artie Lange and Charlton Heston both had shitty weeks, too. Artie resigned from the Howard Stern Show and Charlton, well, he died.
· The hackiest hack that ever hacked, Uwe Boll, found himself on the wrong end of an online petition that might just end his career (fingers crossed!). Howevs, he was able to leverage the power of the internet to fight back ... twice!
· It was Musical Chairs week at Hollywood's biggest talent agencies. Bob DeNiro bolted from CAA (spurring a hilarious poison pen post from the Death Star), Nick Stevens led one of "the biggest agent migrations in years" when he bolted from UTA to Endeavor and a finch with a mean streak wreaked havoc at CAA shortly after Ashton Kutcher became the agency's newest client.
· Teri Hatcher and Clint Black learned that they're both better off sticking with their day jobs.
· After publicly (and somewhat shadily) announcing that he and his wife were victims of an alleged extortion attempt by his nanny, Rob Lowe displayed the keen ability to turn an adjective into a noun when he coined the term "false terribles."

Ellen Page Mans Up On Leno, Forcing Jay To Actually Come Up With A Few Of His Own Jokes

Sherri Shepherd's Crush On David Beckham Makes Everyone Uncomfortable

• WATCH VIDEO

Jay Leno Offers Audience His Most Apologetic Look

"In talking about Ryan's first role, I realize that what I said came out wrong. I certainly didn't mean any malice. I agree it was a dumb thing to say, and I apologize."

Once Upon A Time, There Were Three Little 'Charlie's Angels' Who Hated Each Other's Guts, Recalls Conan O'Brien

An Open Call For 'Gayest Looks' Showers Jay Leno In Fabulous Middle-Finger Salutes

Hollywood's highest-paid scab Jay Leno's recent solicitation of Ryan Phillippe's "gayest look" for his cameras, part of a longer, excruciatingly unfunny and offensive bit about the actor's role as TV's first gay teen on One Life To Live, has now spawned a website, called My Gayest Look For Jay Leno: It invites people to send in their gayest looks, which seem to involve a great deal of creative bird-flipping. The site was co-created by Avenue Q playwright Jeff Whitty, who previously penned an open letter beseeching The Tonight Show host to stop making homophobic jokes in his monologues. Leno apparently called him up for a half-hour talk about Whitty's concerns, but has since returned to his egregious ways. We fear it's time to call in Ross the Intern to mediate what is quickly growing into an ugly and contentious affair between Jay and the Gays.

• Our Raison D'être [My Gayest Look For Jay Leno]

Jay Leno Tickled By Ryan Phillippe's Former Role As Gay Teen

Leno Made To Feel Like Prettiest Ousted Late Night Host In The Room By 'Tonight Show' Competitors

Seemingly unstoppable late night force Jay Leno has already demonstrated that he needs no writers to conquer his time slot: Audiences looking for non-addictive insomnia cures and lovemaking soundtracks clearly prefer Leno's middling presence and chirpy joke-delivery over his more cantankerous competitors. For whatever reason, however, the management at NBC decided four years ago that Leno required an expiration date, unfeelingly stamping the host on the forehead with a "BEST BEFORE 2009" notice, and designating Conan O'Brien as his successor. Now, a full two years before his contract expires, rival networks and studios are unfurling their green, high-currency plumage, and doing the late-night mating dance for the still viable talk show host. The NY Times reports:

Senior executives at ABC and Fox said that their networks had discreetly gotten the message to Mr. Leno that they were waiting eagerly for the time when they would be able to make official overtures. [...]

Steve Martin Uses Patented Tongue-In-Cheek Technology To Rip Strike Scab Jay Leno A New One

The decade's best Oscars host Steve Martin (we still cherish his Best Actor intro line, "gay poet, crazed artist, a shipwrecked victim, a roman gladiator....but enough about me...") stopped by the Late Show with David Letterman last night to catch up with his old friend. Touching upon the topic of the writers strike, Martin, like so many of his fellow scribes, suddenly found himself with an abundance of free time, which he chose to fill by "writing movie scripts and TV pilots...and then I would sell them to the studios."

Martin saves his more sardonic barbs for Letterman's scab-encrusted nemesis—after the jump!

Resourceful Jay Leno Hangs On To Audience Through Shameless Recycling Of Old Material

Despite seemingly insurmountable handicaps—the loss of his striking writers, an inability to find guests willing to risk being considered WGA-undermining picket-line crossers, and a hated timeslot nemesis working at full strength due to his own Guild side-deal, Jay Leno has, amazingly, continued to win the battle of late night since everyone returned to work in early January. Today's NY Times attempts to unlock the secrets of Leno's crazy-making success, noting that despite the lower quality of available seat-fillers, he's been able to do the same show he's always done by maintaining his usual output of tepid monologue jokes. Asked about Leno's ability to crank out dozens of gags per night without the benefit of his absent staff, defenders cite his impressive talent for passing off his stale, unfunny material as fresh:

Conan Buys In Brentwood, Dropping Subtle Hint To Leno To Get The Hell Out Already

Viewers Stubbornly Refusing To Abandon Writerless Leno

· For at least their first three nights back on the air, the writerless Jay Leno has triumphed over WGA-sanctioned rival David Letterman in the Nielsen wars. In another sign that the TV apocalypse may finally be upon us, shows like Wife Swap, Supernanny, The Biggest Loser, and Celebrity Apprentice are so far either posting the same numbers as or outperforming the scripted shows they've replaced for their networks. [Variety]
· Walden Media deems High School Musical star/naughty nudie-photo-scandal victim Vanessa Hudgens still pure enough to employ, signing her on to their coming-of-age dramedy Will. [THR]

Kimmel, Leno Commiserate About Life As Strike-Plagued Talk Show Hosts

Finding it nearly impossible to land quality guests because of talent's maddening unwillingness to run a gauntlet of taunting, red-shirted WGA picketers just to spend six uncomfortable minutes trying to sound enthused about a movie they only took to make a weekend-house mortgage payment, Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel last night paid reciprocal visits to each other's star-hungry couches, hoping that chatting about their strike-related travails might be a diverting way to kill a few minutes of airtime.

Strike Turns Jay Leno And Jimmy Kimmel Into Unlikely Couchfellows