In today's installment: Janice Dickinson, Quentin Tarantino, Ellen Page, Sarah Silverman, Jason Schwartzman, Scott Speedman, Gene Simmons, Kristen Bell, Rachel Zoe, Adam Levine, Mila Kunis, Seth Green, Stacy Keibler, Reggie Bush, Dave Holmes, Holland Taylor, Busta Rhymes, and Lil Wayne.

Tuesday, April 1
· Beverly Hills Post Office, Main Branch: Stacy Keibler in line ahead of me, and Holland Taylor in line just behind me. Both women were gorgeous in everyday makeup and neither seemed at all "above" standing in the ridiculously long line with the regular folks at the post office. I did notice that Ms. Taylor was sending a package to Martin Sheen; how adorable.

Friday, April 4
· 8000 Sunset, @ 9:30pm: Quentin Tarantino sits not inside the arthouse cinema but instead on the newly installed tacky "patio furniture" of the renovated plaza. Talks with a Lisa Loeb look-alike, but she has long black hair, and is not an actress type. They sit next to each other, but facing, on a park bench. Tarantino wears no hat, a black leather jacket, jeans, & black Asics soccer style low tops with white socks that I can see because of his awkward bench positioning. All I hear him say is a rat-a-tat-tat "Yeah, yeah, ..uh huh, of course" while jutting his chin out as Loeb-alike talks. Both hold paper coffee cups. The HQ for TMZ is in the same complex - I was hoping they would look out their window.

Saturday, April 5
· West Hollywood 7-11 on La Cienega and Holloway @ 5:50am: I ran into Busta Rhymes. He was riding shotgun in a red Cadillac CTX. (the 2 seater) His buddy bought a newspaper and he looked at a people magazine and contemplated buying batteries. I was buying Gatorade and coffee. I walked up to him and said "Bus a bus?" He did not respond for a second, I thought he might be talking to someone via Bluetooth. It was only him and I and the cashier. So I said "Busta of flipmode squad" He then turned toward me and laughed, said yes and gave me a bro's handshake then walked out.

Sunday, April 6
· Brewery Art Walk: Scott Speedman wandering about alone, looked confused, cute but much stockier in person than I would have expected. Still maintain Felicity should have ended up with Noel.

· Tampa International Airport @ 6pm: I had been to the NCAA Women's Final Four, aka Lesbian Super Bowl. I stopped to get a meal at TGI Fridays to help my hang over and lo and behold at the bar I see sex god (?) Gene Simmons! He was conspicuously leaning on the bar, facing out, scanning the restaurant. I couldn't get over his ridiculous hair.

Monday, April 7
· Hollywood And Highland: Treating some out-of-town relatives to the sight of other people's out-of-town relatives staring at the sidewalk, I took refuge at the Sephora. As weekend celeb sightings are rare, particularly at touristy places, I was a bit stunned to see Sarah Silverman browsing the skin care section. She looked just like she does on television, which is... or is not... a compliment.

· Beverly Center Chipotle @8pm: Reggie Bush. Short and stacked. Pretty sure the black on black Bentley in the fifteen minute parking was his. Unfortunately it can't compete with my '92 Subaru.

· Red Lion: Dave "I Wanna Be A VJ But for Some Reason Jesse Camp Won that Show but now he's working at a pet store or so I heard" Holmes was at Trivia Night (and even on the winning team). I don't know if they showed up especially for trivia or just happened to be there. He was with a group of about 12 completely average seeming people, including one guy that must have been his brother because they had the same vaguely smug but disarming look about them.

Tuesday, April 8
· Mani's on Fairfax @ 8pm: Saw Jason Schwartzman grabbing something to go from the bakery. Cute, short, almost as exciting as the delicious piece of cherry pie I was devouring mid-sighting.

· Graumann's Chinese Theater: I'm at Graumann's Chinese theater and I'm about 93% sure I am sitting behind Janice Dickinson. I have not seen her face, but she keeps yelling at the ads before the movie. Now I'm 100% sure. She keeps commenting loudly after every trailer. This was so worth the 11.50 per ticket. When she walked out of the theater she said "yawn" loud enough for pretty much everyone to hear. Awesome. Whore...she's also totally skeletal and ate two buckets of popcorn then left for a while. Bulimic coke whore...."

· WeHo Trader Joes, afternoon: i was in weho trader joes yesterday afternoon and i heard this woman on the phone talking loud and it bugged me so i looked and it was Rachel Zoe in the cereal section moving to the trail mix section stuffing her basket and talking but that wasn't the disturbing part, maybe she was feeding the homeless, not herself. but she was wearing this huge fur vest (i am not a activist but that vest could make me one) that looked like a bear was hugging her and these ridiculous shoes that she was trying to balance on and and her face was so well just so bloated looking.......people trust her to dress them?

· Hotel Cafe: Dancing With the Stars pros Mark Ballas and Derek Hough played with their band "Almost Amy." In attendance: The Cheetah Girls, Cristian de la Fuente, Cheryl Burke, Julianne Hough, Priscilla Presley, Kristi Yamaguchi, Shannon Elizabeth, Fabian Sanchez, Pasha (from SYTYCD). Derek and Shannon were looking particularly cozy after the show.

· Beverly Center Chipotle: None other than Weezy F Baby (Lil Wayne) in front of me after yet another Chipotle visit. He was in a Dodge Nitrosomething with 29s or 30s on it. I wanted to get out of my car and tell him what a huge fan I am but I was afraid of getting clapped.

Thursday, April 10
· Adam Levine, in a giant green cowl neck sweater, shorts, high socks and driving shoes; buying many spirits at Mayfair. He is slender and handsome enough to obviously not be drinking all that alone later.

· Was at the Forgetting Sarah Marshall premiere party last night, complete clusterfuck. Mila Kunis looked pretty and skinny. Kristen Bell looked pretty, skinny and really happy. Amber Heard.. skinny and wooden. Seth Green was short and friendly. The skinny guy from Superbad, the comedian with a gap in his teeth from Human Giants [Ed. Note - That'd be Paul Scheer]. Busy Phillips sort of channeling Anna Nicole. Paul Rudd - as dreamy as expected. Swoon.

Friday, April 11
· Hollywood Farmers Market: I saw Ellen Page at the Hollywood Farmers Market. She looked very Juno in a hoodie with the hood up. She was buying brussel sprouts or something similarly healthy. Good eating habits Ellen!

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

boomp3.com

Professional train wreck Janice Dickinson proudly displayed what made her one of the most in demand models in the 1980s. Unfortunately for Dickinson (but much to the delight of the paparazzi), she remained stuck in that position for the rest of the afternoon. Fortunately, though, this provided her with an opportunity to tell a long and rambling story about the situation reminded her of this one time she went to Studio 54 with David Bowie and Pia Zadora.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

"The only thing I injected her with was my fist," he joked. He also claimed Brigitte Nielsen was one of the "least crazy" women he's dated and that saucy redhead Angie Everhart was demented. Stern, who also dated Everhart, said she is "very nice."

Among the other topics of conversation: The Richard Gere gerbil rumor (apparently untrue, with Gere "desperate" to find its source); and a rundown of roles Stallone turned down over the years (Superman, Beverly Hills Cop, Die Hard, and Witness—phew). But it was the parade of unzipped ladies who stole his heart that took up the majority of the interview, with Dickinson in particularly leaving a bas taste in his mouth. Could these same bitter adversaries have ever been tender lovers, spending their nights shaving each other's bodies, slathering one another in cocoa butter, and flexing side-by-side in a floor-length mirror to the blaring music of C+C Music Factory? To listen to them now, it's almost impossible to believe.

• SLY SPOUTS OFF [NY Post]
• Stallone's fury at ex-love Janice Dickinson's steroid claims [Daily Mail]

It actually started off pretty promising, the Victoria Gotti/Donatella Versace look-alikes populating the crowed, vampy Bobby Trendy and his self-important crew trying to snag the absolute best seats possible and at this point, I must ask if you've ever seen the El Rey, because all the seats are basically the same. There were also a bunch of America's Next Top Model wannabes running around, probably hoping for a photo-op. I have to say that same of them were appropriately stunning. It's not that often that a woman can make me seem short and fat, but these chicks did impress. [...]

Janice came out over half an hour late, a nervous (I'm assuming), coked-up wreck. It was soooo not fun to watch. For whatever reason, they had tried to get Janice to memorize a script and she was freaking out because she kept forgetting the script, which was really frustrating to watch because SHE ACTUALLY LIVED IT AND COULDN'T REMEMBER HOW THE STORY WENT. After the first costume change, which came after about 10 minutes of Janice's nervous rambling, Kimberly Stewart and her crew RAN out, leaving their lame dj friend to fend for herself. Ha. I liked that part. After the second costume change, we jetted.

From what I understand Janice later fell.

Perhaps the bouts of memory loss and vertigo can be written off to opening night jitters. Who's at their best with a legendary theater critic like Bobby Trendy sitting a few rows away? But if you're feeling like a thrill-seeker, planning on being on some really good drugs yourself, or need to take a break from your nightly cutting, someone's giving away free tickets on Craiglist. A caveat: We can't guarantee that you'll have more fun than you would if you stayed home with the razor blade and some TiVo'd episodes of Top Model.

• Ouch...that's gotta hurt [Office Monkey]