this is your brain on drugs
Today's after-school special comes, as most do these days, from YouTube. Though recently 5150'd Jackass star Steve-O currently has bigger things to worry about than who's hacking into his account and putting these frightening home videos up in his absence, we certainly get a bitter taste of just what those things are after viewing this clip. After revealing a Winehouse-ian nostril dusted with white powder in the first ten seconds, Steve-O spends the next four minutes attempting to show us how to juggle in his backyard. But he's noticeably, uh, distracted, and spends most of that time ranting about the war in Iraq, all the spacial dimensions that go ka-boom, and saddest of all, ruminates on this question: "Who cares when you die?" The most surefire way to teach your kids why drugs are bad, after the jump.
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After what feels like decades spent snorting wasabi and chugging live goldfish, time has finally clocked out on
Jackass star Steve-O's sanity.
Star reports that Nicole Richie's ex has been placed on the ever-popular
5150 hold popularized by fellow bipolar sufferer
Britney Spears. Steve-O was sent to Thalians Mental Health Facility (the same place Owen Wilson once graced with his presence back in the Stallion's sick days) after emailing suicide notes to friends and allegedly putting cigarettes out on his body. But Steve-O has more than straitjackets and a daily rainbow of pills to look forward to; he's also been officially
charged with cocaine possession, a charge dating back to when he assaulted a neighbor while high. We personally think Thalians should begin work on an annual yearbook, just so all these celebs who waltz in on one drug and out on another can KIT! and XOXO! each other after the misty water-colored memories fade. [
Star]
trade roundup
· On Monday, the studios will start unwrapping the Yuletide gift they've given themselves by halting negotiations until an indeterminate point in the new year and removing the possibility of holiday-saving miracle deal: the activation of the force majeure clauses that will allow them to cancel pricey, unwanted talent contracts. We'll say it again: Merry Strike Christmas! [Variety]
· The always-daring Jackass gang will release the next installment of their incredibly popular adventures in genital mutilation and flatulence inhalation, Jackass 2.5, online. [THR]
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balls
As part of our ongoing commitment at Defamer to bring our readers as many balls as possible, we follow up Tuesday's offering of Project Runway contestant Jack Mackenroth's Bobbsey Twins with a link to this handsome photo-suite of Jackass star Steve O getting into the Family Jewels premiere spirit by baring his own on the red carpet.
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jackass
We somehow missed this when they originally posted it yesterday (we blame Yom Kippur for no good reason at all), but TMZ.com shared this photo of a theater in Orange City, Iowa, where—irony alert!—locals raised more of a stink about the ass-bearing title of
Jackass Number Two decorating the marquee than about the movie's ass-baring content, and whose new, ostensibly sanitized title—double irony alert!!—is far more offensive than the original. If nothing else, the Holland Plaza Theater's
Jackbutt Two brainstorm has taken the creative challenge out of what the inevitable gay porn version will be named, and which will detail the erotic, CBT adventures of stars Johnny Coxxville and Bottom Margera.
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jackass
The
Best Week Ever blog has video of Steve-O's
Jackass Number Two premiere red carpet wee-wee-trickling misadventures. (Those hoping for a glimpse of the Pecker-O will be disappointed to find a dancing
BWE logo obfuscating the oft-punished goodies, but you can always go back to our original
photo post for an unobstructed view.) Co-star/walking Budweiser billboard
Johnny Knoxville seems completely over the proceedings, saying, "You're on your own, kid," with a thought bubble magically appearing above him a moment later reading, "I shoulda ditched these retards for the Wilson brothers a long time ago."
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box office
Remove your shoes and soak your feet in a tub full of the warm, soothing waters of the weekend
box office numbers:
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jackass
Sure, the premiere served up all the
old school Hollywood glamour we've come to expect from the bow of a Paramount Pictures production. But not even Steve-O, Bam, and Wee Man overpowering and then relieving their bowels upon Billy Bush before entering the Chinese Theater could have turned
Jackass Number Two into a critical success: The movie would have to earn that on its own. The reviews are in, however, and based on a random sampling of the nation's film critics, what it lacked in narrative and character development, it made up for in its visceral, puke-inducing formal elements. A round-up:
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steve-o
At last night's premiere at the Chinese Theater,
Jackass Number Two star Steve-O, subtle master of physical comedy, sensed that having a baby alligator chew his scrotum or allowing one of his co-stars to attack his genitals with a jackhammer would be too showy a display of the playful irreverence that is the troupe's trademark, even on such a special occasion. Instead, he opted for the simple, elegant act of urinating on the red carpet, much to the delight of the throng of fans, wire service photographers, and tourists transfixed by every drop of his golden stream.
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jackass
The Smoking Gun has
obtained the mugshot of corpulent-uncle-to- the-
Jackass-stars Vincent "Don Vito" Margera, which we've reproduced here for your nightmare-eliciting convenience. While sitting for his booking photograph, Don Vito keeps one eye firmly trained on the door at all times, steadfastly maintaining complete innocence of having
fondled two teenage girls at a Colorado autograph signing. His famous nephew, Bam Margera, stands by him—eventually—saying in a
recent interview with Skateboarding.com that it was a "bad move" on his uncle's part, having merely "tapped a boob during a photo," but then quickly downgrading it to "no tappage happening" after an unidentified male voice's off-camera protests managed to convince the moron nephew that he wasn't doing his uncle any favors with his potentially incriminating version of events.
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mtv
Vincent "Don Vito" Margera, frequent victim of nephew Bam Margera's merciless pranksterism and an ideal candidate to be stuffed-canneloni'd to death by a
Se7en-inspired serial killer, was
formally charged today with "two felony counts of sexual assault on a child," after a boozy appearance Friday at an autograph signing event in Colorado resulted in allegations that he
groped two underage fans:
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jackass
Paramount has much riding on
Jackass: Number Two, with the hit-hungry studio praying audiences will show up for another heaping serving of its particular brand of inter-rectal Hot Wheels fun. Director Jeff Tremaine—whose face became familiar to West Hollywood locals when
Jackass star
Johnny Knoxville put it on a billboard promoting a fictional gay cruise line—spoke to MTV.com about his unwitting participation in the
viral marketing prank:
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paramount
Collider noticed the billboard looming over the corner of Palm and Santa Monica in West Hollywood, which rather boldly touts something called "Rainbow Cruise Lines" and directs curious, prospective vacationers to
check out the company's website. Gay shuffleboard enthusiasts will undoubtedly be disappointed to discover that the seafaring come-on is just a stunt advertisement for
Jackass: Number Two, and that the movie's web presence is completely devoid of
Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O's signature mututal cock-and-ball torture, adding to the sting of the promotional subterfuge.
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party reports
We'd never expect an event for
Jackass to attract anyone in the alphabetical neighborhood of the A-list, members of which generally don't have a very high tolerance for the stapling of genitalia to stationary objects or the show-offy chewing of broken glass. But when
nearly all of the wire photos of the night include pornstar/recall gubernatorial hopeful Mary Carey, things are not good. According to this report from an operative unlucky enough to have turned up to the party, the planners had a problem luring warm bodies of any kind to fill the venue, even with the promise of booze and food:
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