As SAG begins its 38th day of negotiations with the majors today, the pro-AFTRA forces have added Alec Baldwin and Kevin Spacey to their list of several hundred endorsers, led by Tom Hanks and Sally Field. ...

SAG announced Tuesday it had added high-profile supporters including Jack Nicholson, Ben Stiller, Josh Brolin, Ed Harris, Amy Madigan, Viggo Mortensen, Nick Nolte and Martin Sheen. It's also amped up its PR campaign via print ads.

The SAG-AFTRA brawling also raises the key question of clout. SAG has blasted the notion of the AFTRA deal serving as a template, because AFTRA's last primetime contract generated $40 million for members while SAG's last three-year feature-primetime pact generated $4 billion over the same period. Observers say the argument makes little sense, because SAG has so many more members working in the primetime and film arena.

Elsewhere in the paper, the AMPTP gets the backhanded benefit of the doubt: "Studios could stop haggling over pennies, but that's sort of like telling an insurance company to quit low-balling you. That's just what they do — relying on any sane person to give up first." Which suggests to us there's only one solution — a fun, unscripted, winner-take-all slugfest that would conveniently circumvent any potential work stoppage following AFTRA's ratification vote next month: Ladies and gentlemen, let's play the Feud!

• SAG, AFTRA in Spin Cycle [Variety]
• SAG Misses its 'Norma Rae' Moment [Variety]

The images on the left were taken over the weekend, and it's hard not to notice how different Lara looks now as compared to the two on the right, taken in 2006. Her cheeks are a bit more bloated, her lips a little poufier, normally signifiers of collagen and some kind of cheek implants. But...

A quick breeze through her upcoming projects reveals the fact that Lara recently completed work on Life Is Hot In Cracktown, which is based on a book that details several characters' experiences with crack use in the inner cities. Instead of jumping on the plastic surgery assumption bandwagon, we're gonna give Lara the benefit of the doubt here and assume this new get-up is all a part of some grand Kutcherian plan. At least, we're hoping it is.

[Photo Credits: Getty, Barcroft]

• LARA FLYNN BOYLE'S CHANGING FACE [Star]

From where could such a misguided act of campaign desperation have originated? Why, Hollywood, of course! Towleroad spoke to the "two gay filmmakers" responsible for it, screenwriter/director John Krokidas and producer Bruce Cohen:

Towleroad: How do you respond to those who might twist it into a negative thing?

While the piece does profess real reasons we believe Hillary to be the stronger Democratic candidate for president, it is also a satire of your typical politics-as-usual campaign endorsement ad. We have Jack Nicholson, the iconic bad-boy of Hollywood, standing up and voicing his support for a presidential candidate. How can you not make a spot with him that doesn't reflect all of his devilish charm and wit?

While the Nicholson ad probably sounded more fun on paper than in execution, an increasingly desperate Clinton campaign is thrilled with the attention it has received. Hoping for more unsettling celeb endorsements, they've reportedly been courting Ellen Page aggressively to tape a spot in which she expresses her long-held desire to hug the first female candidate for President of the United States with her legs.

• Anatomy of a Viral Video: Who's Behind the Nicholson - Clinton Ad? [Towleroad]

"I can't hit on a girl in public like I used to," he says. "I never thought words like 'undignified' would come into my own reflections on myself, but I can't do it anymore."

Nicholson, whose past flames include Anjelica Huston and Lara Flynn Boyle, explains: "I feel uncomfortable. I don't think anybody cares what I do in these areas, but it feels a little bit off to me."

Of course, we all know Jack was lying to the reporter, fully aware that their geriatric readership would be crushed to learn that the septuagenarian actor is still ably nailing dozens of hot 20-year-olds per week, and plans on doing so until the very last one dismounts his cold, grinning corpse to run off and dial 911.

• Nicholson: 'Can't hit on a girl' like before [cnn.com]

One can't help but wonder what ever became of that shit-grinning, Gucci-tortoiseshell-wearing generation, a diaspora of mini-Jacks and Jills that spreads from the Hills of Hollywood as far as the shores of Mozambique and beyond.

• I'm Jack the dad of 9,000 [The Sun]

In today's episode: Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon; Jack Nicholson and Ice Cube; Hayden Christensen; Dax Shepard; Richard Edson; Pierce Brosnan; Lindsay Lohan; Bill Nighy and Alicia Silverstone; Beau Bridges; Sandra Oh; Marcia Cross; Hayden Panettiere; Jeff Garlin; Anton Yelchin; Ashley Tisdale; Dean Cameron; and Dave Annable.

· Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon were on my flight from SFO to Burbank Monday afternoon. They sat very far away from the gate and of course, kept their sunglasses on the whole time. At one point, I saw him put his head on her shoulder while she stroked his back. Once everyone was on-board except for us stragglers, they snuck in through the United VIP line. Honestly, with no bodyguards or hangers-on, they made more of a production of themselves, looking completely sullen and put-upon in that totally obvious "Don't you dare look at me, I'm famous" way. Like, one girl recognized them and didn't really seem to care, and most people just wondered who the tools in the sunglasses were. Once I was in line to board, I got stuck behind Jake as he tried to load his bag in the overhead bin. But once he saw that a girl in her 20s was standing right behind him, he totally dropped the bag, sat down, and kinda covered his face.

· Last Friday at the Laker game, I had the obligatory Jack Nicholson sighting. Way more fun was Ice Cube in one luxury box and photographer Michael "I filmed Kim Kardashian's mom naked" Segal in another.

Saturday I saw Richard Edson (the guy who takes Ferris' car and says, "Trust me. I'm a professional.") at Café 101. (Thanks IMDB!)

Today I saw Hayden Christensen at Runyon Canyon in all his shirtless hiking glory. Was not wheezing like Darth Vader. Then I saw a very freshly-tattooed Dax Shepard at Starbucks in Studio City on my way to work. Very tall and surprisingly cute.

· I saw Pierce Brosnan yesterday Nov 12 on the 3rd st promenade. looking surprisingly together, like he had stepped off the set of of the thomas crown affair 2, or something. I thought who is that handsome guy with all the shopping bags who looks like Pierce Brosnan. oh, fuck, it IS pierce brosnan! ha.

· 11/8 - Had my first paparazzi swarm sighting since moving here almost 2 years ago (weird, I know) at Bossa Nova on Sunset, caused by none other than Lindsay Lohan and her giant boobs, accompanied by an older model Lindsay (Dina?) and bodyguard. What kind of town is this where even a fresh-out-of-rehab former child superstar can't eat her moderately priced Brazilian/Italian fusion cuisine in peace?

· Friday, 11/9 - Saw Alicia Silverstone & Bill Nighy meeting up over snacks and tea at the Newsroom in BH. Strange (platonic) pair, until my friend reminded me that they were in a movie together not too long ago. He looked like he always does: natty, though slightly frumpy, glasses, adorable; she looked cute as a button and like she hadn't aged since Clueless. If being a vegan makes your skin look that good, I'm switching to that team pronto.

· While in the 15 or less (maybe 10?) check out line at the Ralphs in Malibu on Saturday, spotted Beau Bridges behind us. Among his purchases was a bag of green colored fruit - not limes. Wearing a forest green t-shirt and baggy gross navy blue sweatpants, he ignored all us fellow non D plus celebrities. When my friend had to leave the line to get an extra item he didn't complain, but did slapped down a People and Us Weekly magazine in a huff to add to his purchases. Overall pleasant demeanor but a little ragged looking. Perhaps that's the Malibu look? He has crazy eyebrows.

· 11/15 - La Poubelle — Sandra Oh having dinner with a small group of friends. None of this "please don't let me be seen by the masses" crap for her. Oh no, she was sitting at the first table inside the door, clearly enjoying the food and the company. I get the feeling that she goes there often since not a single person (but me) paid any notice she was there. Telling a story of some kind that required lots of waving and arm movements, but everyone was enthralled. She looks EXACTLY like she does on TV but with a bigger head; but that could have been the poufy hair.

· Saw Marcia Cross getting off the LAX flight in JFK last night (11/14). That woman's cheekbones could cut glass. Seriously, anyone snogging with her needs to be careful. She could slice your jugular while administering a hickey.

· Waiting for my virgin america flight to sfo on the 16th and just saw hayden panettiere the dolphin saver walk by me with 2 of her friends to their nyc flight. Also walking by are the victoria secrets angels to board the nyc flight. Tsa was going crazy opening a dedicated line for them to pass through.

· Captain's Log, Stardate 3958.8 (11/15/2007). Jeff Garlin spotted in top row at Century City AMC, heartily enjoying 7:30 showing of "Star Trek: The Original Series" two-part episode "The Menagerie". He adorably yelled out "Boo!" in the darkened, tension-wrought silence before the show (after the initial promotion for the Star Trek HD DVDs), which got a good laugh—quite a feat, considering the audience was filled with grade-A, uncut, pure Columbian nerd. Myself included, I guess. (I was one of the few female specimens in attendance, I might add. Surprising? Not really.) Of course, no PrivacyWatch™ sighting, no matter how Garlin-y, can compete with Shatner's glowing smirk, which sparkled on the silver screen that evening. Captain, you can board my vessel anytime.

· 11/10 - Anton Yelchin was playing a mean harmonica at a jam party that I got invited to at Beer City Studios in Van Nuys. There was a cute young blonde girl who came with him but I couldn't tell if they were bf/gf.

· Wednesday Nov 14th - while enjoying a cheap but leisurely manicure at the Nail Garden in Studio City during my lunch break, spotted Ashley Tisdale of High School Musical fame getting her feet done. I guess she missed the big SAG rally at Universal by a day and decided to get a mani/pedi instead...

· He was an A-lister when I was 15 and think a few out there may appreciate. Monday night during "corey-oky" at Happy Endings I spy Dean Cameron (Francis 'Chainsaw' Gremp of Summer School fame) leading the 3 man Corey band. These sightings are more fun then any present day A-lister, unless of course they are running over a photographer or are Keifer Sutherland.

· 11/15—Dave Annable out with a friend at CAA-sponsored "Young Hollywood Party". An actor must always support his representation, right? Especially those young Death Star leaders in training.

• FAKE CELEBS, REAL POSSIBILITIES [Page Six]
• Alison Jackson [Taschen]

In today's episode: Jack Nicholson; Patrick Swayze and Heath Ledger; Jake Gyllenhaal; Keanu Reeves; Halle Berry; Paul Rudd; Thomas Haden Church; Helen Hunt; Linda Hamilton; Jemaine Clement; Michelle Rodriguez; Eric Dane; Hanson and Frankie Muniz; Dylan McDermott; Dita Von Teese and Ashley Hamilton; Wood Harris and Gloria Alred.

· 8/15. 2ish. Jack Nicholson. On Coldwater Cyn. Driving North. Why, in this heat would anyone be driving into the 818? But if Jack can do it, I sure can. But I was driving South and almost crashed into the church when I saw him in his hip ass convertible silver car. Didn't catch the model and make because he looked so cool in his sunglasses and aforementioned car. He is so cool that he may not have melted today in the 818...

· heath ledger was blonde and ponytailed at the spindrift show on 6th street tuesday night. whatever... he was unobtrusive and acted like a normal person, blah, blah, blah, but who cares about boring heath ledger when patrick fucking swayze shows up in pink pants a black and white tiger-print seventies-collared shirt and a platinum blond mullet of a wig? (a costume probably? he was filming next door.) anyway, he couldn't have been cooler, laughing and posing for pictures and signing autographs and doing a couple dirty dancing wiggles and a roadhouse kick for the ladies. then he waved and disappeared like a some kind of magical leprechaun who'd given us a pot of awesomeness. fuck yeah, patrick swayze. you rule!

· Aug 16 Hey, so my friend and I were enjoying the tasty delights of Loteria! (I can't figure out how to make my keyboard do the upside-down exclamation point) in the Farmer's Market and who should ALSO decide to partake but Heath Ledger, soon to be AKA The Joker, along with some pals and dragging a sleeping infant which assumedly was his. Dude was approximately 7 feet tall and in regulation gear (torn jeans, cool-guy shirt, bed-head), looking Lurch-like yet handsome. After lunch he proceeded to spend an inordinate amount of time in the sticker store next door.

· I know this is late but I was out of the country. I saw the gorgeous and talented Jake Gyllenhaal at the Academy's Samuel Goldwyn theater on Saturday August 4th for The Bourne Ultimatum screening. He had on a baseball cap, flannel shirt and jeans. He looked yummy and tried to be inconspicuous. He was met by a cute blonde. He stayed to the end of the credits as protocol requires at the Academy. Go Jake!

· Tuesday 8/14—Keanu Reeves on the corner of Sunset and Vine, heading towards Magnolia or Bowery Bar. He was graciously having his picture taken with squealing tourists, while wearing his official uniform of ill-fitting black blazer, scruffy beard, and motorcycle helmet.

I saw Halle Berry today (Aug 14) with her tall, gorgeous, hunk of boy toy boyfriend. They came into Pink Taco at Century City mall for lunch around 1:30pm. He was in jeans, a white t-shirt, baseball hat and very scruffy unkempt, unshaven look.

She looked gorgeous, long hair and in a deep brown baby doll top which made her look preggers. My friend and I both said at the same time, "Halle Berry! Is she preggers?" jinx

No one in the restaurant seemed to recognize them or even look up. They were escorted to a booth in the far back corner and had a quiet lunch.

· finally made it to Mozza last week, 8/8. saw PAUL RUDD with his wife, and another couple. we were waiting at the front for our table when they walked in. they also had to wait, but were very cool about it. no drama, no hollywood hissy fits. his wife is pretty, but sort of plain, in a mid-western/girl-next-door way. always liked him. like him even more now, knowing he likes 'regular' girls.

· Hi guys, 8/12 saw Thomas Haden Church at the Good Earth in Studio City. Wearing a light blue denim shirt which men with blue eyes should always wear. Dude is BIG - tall and built. He could use Tobey Maguire as a tooth pick. Nice deep rumbly voice, too. Was alone, looked like he was going to grab a bite and read the paper.

· Spotted: Helen Hunt, crossing Arizona St. in Santa Monica at about 8pm with a tall blond man (her husband?) on Wednesday, August 15th. She was wearing sandals, loose pants, and a sweater over a tank top. She looked too thin, with sunken-in cheeks. Oy! I remarked to my boyfriend, "Forget the homeless people in Santa Monica...somebody get HER a sandwich!"

· Thursday, 8/9 10pm - Stopped in to the 7-11 on Santa Monica Blvd/Overland the same time Linda Hamilton walked in. Wearing dark leggings and a cream colored zip up, no makeup, hair pulled back, over thin and over blonde, but didn't look too bad for being 50. She was chatty with the clerk and the guy next to her in line. Seemed fairly normal and nice.

· Gelson's in WeHo is celeb sighting central. In the past I've seen Amanda Bynes (at the salad bar, barely helped herself to anything), Macaulay Culkin (several times, one time walking home with bags) and now, two days ago (Aug 13) - JEMAINE CLEMENT, of "Flight of the Conchords"! I actually don't watch the show but hear it's hilarious. Mostly I just dig that guy's accent and look, very unique. Jemaine was using the ATM near the booze section. I'm telling you, if you have out of town guests who are dying to spot someone famous, the WeHo Gelson's is just the ticket.

· Friday, Aug. 10: Saw Michelle Rodriguez at Dominick's on Beverley, with a male companion. She looked put-together and was very low-key, except for her distinctive laugh and the fact that she looks like she could kick your ass without much trouble, even while smiling. Also, girl is definitely not concerned about the tendency of low rise jeans to create a plumber's crack situation while sitting on a bar stool. Whatever, my view could have been much, much worse.

· The garden at the Chateau, Thursday night. Across the patio sat Eric Dane, with what looked like business associates, including a Zaftig blonde in too tight clothes and a Gay suit. Rachael "raisen-face" Zoe held court at a center table doing her wrinkles no service with the endless ciggies and scowls.

· Aug 15: I am at the Hanson show (don't ask) at the viper room. At eleven (their supposed set time) the opening band was just going on stage. Pissed, I walk out to buy cigarettes at the liquor store two doors west, where low and behold Hanson is PRACTICING in a corner. The best part of this sad little story? Little Frankie Muniz is hanging out with them, sporting an equally small mohawk and a goatee.

· Saw ex-Practice star Dylan McDermott arriving at LAX Saturday morning (August 11) looking hot as hell in jeans and a button up shirt. He was wearing sunglasses of course (might as well have written I'M SOMEBODY on his forehead)....but he still looked damn good! Isn't he in his forties? Wow. Even cuter, he ended up standing behind me in the security checkpoint for Southwest Airlines! I guess he doesn't mind saving a buck or two - or going sans first class. He was with his adorable daughter and he had no problem carrying her pink roller suitcase. He was super sweet, acting enthusiastic about her fascination with airport security.

· Aug 15 Patio of the Chateau. Dita Von Teese out for a night with the girls. And, wow, while Ms. Teese looked amazing with ivory skin that glowed, perfect hair and a demure, yet sexy outfit, her five "girls" were kinda' plain, looking like mid-market Sherman Oaks wives at best. Little style and ver vanilla. Completely shattered by fantasy. Shouldn't she be surrounded by a pack of adoring Suicide Girls at all times? Also in the garden, a more than grown-up Ashley Hamilton, looking kinda' like John Taylor with tattoo sleeves. Ash, of course, paid his respects to Dita, but left alone five minutes later.

· Thursday, August 16, 10:50 pm Wood Harris at the 7-11 on Sunset and La Brea, buying Smart Water and Vitamin Water. Friendly and down-to-earth. He could've retired after Above the Rim and still been a legend: "I'm a mothafucking soldier!"

· I spotted uber lawyer Gloria Alred in line at the Fox Sponsored Boston Legal Panel at the Writer's Guild Theater on August 14. She looked great in a pink suit. The best part? She was waiting patiently in the long line with all of us commoners!

In today's episode: Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli; Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson, Steven Spielberg, Kate Capshaw, Rob Reiner, and Sandra Oh; Arianna Huffington; Jack Nicholson, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Carson Daly and Joey Fatone; Mark Wahlberg; Luke Wilson; Lily Tomlin; Richard Lewis; Courteney Cox and Laura Dern; Mandy Moore; Johnny Knoxville; Jonathan Rhys Myers; John Krasinski; Hugh Laurie; Adam Brody; Quentin Tarantino; Molly Shannon; Michael C. Hall, Thandie Newton and David Leisure; Kirstie Alley and Sally Struthers; Brad Grey; Paul Dooley; Meredith Baxter, Tom Morello, Joe Simpson, and Slash; Elisa Donovan; Zachary Quinto; Kim Kardashian; Neil Flynn; Andrew Dice Clay; Monica Keena, Rachel Boston, Diane Delano, and Joel Michaely; Eric Benet; Haley Marie Norman; and Marc Horowitz.

· I was perusing the cheap put-it-together-yourself-and-maybe-die-in-the-process furniture at the Burbank Ikea and came across a baseball-capped Leonardo DiCaprio and his very attractive, though extremely young looking, girlfriend Bar Rafaeli . They were looking at mock room set-ups and shelving units. Wouldn't you think he would make enough per picture to afford ACTUAL furniture and not Swedish particle-board?

· Attended the star studded (?) premiere of "Distracted" at the Taper. Saw Tom Hanks with his improbable hair and extended family supporting wife-unit Rita Wilson (who was great). Also saw Sandra Oh, looking older than I thought. Rob Reiner, looking like Magic Mountain in a black suit, and Steven Spielberg wearing the same camel-colored corduroy jacket your science teacher wore and some seriously dirty shoes. Didn't have enough time to figure out whether this was a deliberate look, or just too-rich-to-care. Shiksawifeunit Kate Capshaw was skinny, but had a surprisingly natural, motile and attractive face. Hate her.

Arianna Huffington was there. Were she still with the gay husband he might have told her that peplums should skim the hip. Higher up they are doilies.

· Went to the Laker game on Sunday 3/25. The usual Hollywood hugging and million-dollar smiles. Sat in the B-lister section right behind Carson Daly and his two buddys. He later found Joey Fatone further down the row, they embraced and fondly remembered the glory days when they ruled MTV and teenage girls. Also viewed Jeffrey Katzenberg in the front row looking very upbeat despite his profits being flushed away. Andy Garcia walked in front of us with his daughter, he was dressed like it was a Knicks game...outdoors. Jack Nicholson's hair has grown in since the Oscar telecast. The guy next to me just returned from Iraq and got his seats as a gift. Glad he could enjoy an entertaining game.

· Mark Wahlberg having an early Friday lunch at Matsuhisa. Not that having lunch before noon is unusual but his cell phone certainly was. When was the last time you saw anyone in Hollywood with an old school cell that you pull out the antenna before you answer the phone? You can take th boy out of New England but you can't take the....

· Saw a ridiculously hot looking Luke Wilson last night (3/25) at Musha in Santa Monica. He sat at the sushi bar with a lady friend and another gentleman. They were all super nice and looked like they were having a good time.

· Hey Defamerites— Lily Tomlin was on my Souwthwest flight home to Burbank on Saturday (03/24). She looked stunning, sexy, and classy. With Tom Waits on the cover of Southwest Spirit magazine, there was even a little Short Cuts reunion to be had. Alas, Mr. O. Russell was not on the plane. too bad, because I'd have liked to see Lily kick his ass.

On the way home from the airport, we saw Richard Lewis being interviewed outside of the Laugh Factory. Everyone was in black, so we assume it was a memorial for Richard Jeni.

· This sunday we saw Courteney Cox, Coco, and a bunch of either friends or nannies taking up the big back table at Patrick's Roadhouse. They all seemed to be having a pleasant time with an elderly lady friend... who my wife later told me was Laura Dern.

· Sunday PM, LAX, heading to NYC on American. Mandy Moore in the security line with a bearded fedora-wearing hipster type. Hard to tell if they were 'together.' She looked great in no make-up and a simple cotton dress. Very 'normal sized' (aside from being tall) and hot. Sadly, she was not at Lotus when I went there after landing. Even more sadly, I was.

· 3/22- I'm about 90% sure that I saw Johnny Knoxville driving down Bundy in West LA. He had his typical tousled hair, cop shades, and the "I don't mind putting strange things down my pants or getting hit in the nads for a living" look. The only reason there was the 10% of unsureness (word?), is that he was driving a really nice Mercedes. Not exactly what I pictured him driving for some reason.

· 3/25, 4 pm. Saw Jonathan Rhys-Myers in his black Audi [A6 or A8] making a left onto Genessee from Hollywood Blvd. Made eye contact when making his left turn; hypnotic stare

· Spotted Jonathan Rhys-Myers last Thursday morning at Crunch in the locker room... but sadly, I didn't get close enough to report back on the important statistics. Nonetheless, I was having thoughts about cancelling my membership to Crunch— now I'm not cancelling it anytime soon.

Then yesterday evening (Sunday) at the Arclight, I went to see "Reign Over Me," as did John Krasinski (with a girl, but I couldn't tell if it was Rashida Jones or not, and quite frankly, I wasn't paying attention)... I kept craning my neck in his general direction whenever BJ Novak came on screen (who, by the way, is the best part of an otherwise manipulative, crappy movie).

· 10:30 Friday morning, westbound on Melrose and spotted him on a motorcycle pulling out of a gas station and it made the trip to Hollywood Chamber of Commerce breakfast worth it. One of the joys of living in LA is seeing 6' 3" of pure sex in the form of Hugh Laurie gaining on you in the rear view mirror. On his black Triumph and even handsomer in person. I rolled down my window for a good look and resisted the urge to jump on the back of his bike as he passed. My passenger thanked me.

· Saturday night, 24 March: An extremely Seth Cohen-esque Adam Brody was at HMS Bounty on Wilshire with a broad shouldered and brunette lady friend. No one seemed to notice him, despite his flamboyant hand gestures, and I concluded that the other patrons there couldn't have cared less about the vague celebrity in our midst. However, my companion had a clear view of the stairway leading to the building next door and said that every single person freaked out once out of his view.

· 3/25, Four Season around noon. Just finishing their delicious and insanely overpriced brunch ($140 for two people? Really?) when I saw Quentin Tarantino getting out of a white car. I should have paid more attention to exactly what kind of a car it was but he wasn't driving. Wearing an ugly green hospital shirt and horrible green jacket. Does he dress like that on purpose or does he really not know any better?

· Molly Shannon, baby Nolan, and nanny on JetBlue flight from JFK to BUR today (3/26). Flight attendant cornered her in the back of the plane to talk about "career choices." She seemed to be genuinely engaged in conversation with the attendant. Then later, she was knocked out in her aisle seat catching some major z's (mouth wide open). I'll admit it wasn't the most glamorous moment, but 30 minutes prior I know I looked the exact same way.

· a friday afternoon triple play 3.23 around 1:45 on my way down Beverly saw a very dark haired Michael C. Hall pacing in front of Shelter, was he thinking about how much things cost in there? Then on Fairfax turning into the grove Thandie Newton in a red porsche, top down looking amazing with no make up, yes i was that close to her. Then getting the car from the valet at the Grove (it is just worth the 8 bucks) getting into a lexus was David Leisure...what no Isuzu for Joe Isuzu!

Saturday, 3/23 - Kirstie Alley spotted at the WeHo Target at the intersection of La Brea and Santa Monica. She was in the bedding section with some woman who appeared to her assistant. She looked so-so.

· 3-24 Who spent part of her 30th birthday at Targay? I did! And so did Stunning (size 16 if she's a day) Kirstie Alley and Save the Children's Sally Struthers. I couldn't look away... from ether of them. (snap! I said it! owwwwww!) (I'm not a total freak, I just really love target!)

· Two very odd sightings that may not exactly make the top of your list, but hey, there's always the bottom of the page that needs to be filled. Saturday night (3/24) saw longtime TV veteran guest star/best-John-Hughes-movie-dad ever Paul Dooley coming out of Reign O'er Me at the Arclight. Couldn't tell if the one actor who appeared in Death Wish, Shakes the Clown and Strange Brew (thanks, IMDB!), but was still forced to take part in Employee of the Month enjoyed the Sandler flick, but hey, he was wearing overalls and holding hands with his wife, so all must be right with the world.

Saw Brad Grey of all people the next morning (3/25) racing his bicycle down the bike path that runs along the PCH from the edge of Malibu to Venice. Decked out in Tour de France-style blue Lycra from head to toe complete with helmet and wraparound sunglasses, I wouldn't have recognized him except that I'd seen him a couple of times in person here and there and you never forget the man who had so much faith in Norm MacDonald that he executive produced both Screwed and Dirty Work.

· Hi! A little bit late, I know, but I was at LAX on Thursday the 15th on my way to Austin for SXSW. While walking to my gate I saw Meredith Baxter, the mom from Family Ties, walking away from the gate next to mine and looking kind of annoyed.

While at my gate I spotted Tom Morello smiling and talking with fans who had approached him. I then got on the plane and passed by Joe Simpson and SLASH in first class. Slash was looking like, well, like Slash. Joe Simpson looked a little too creepy for me to do a double take.

· Bottle Rock wine bar in Culver City, Saturday 3/24: Sitting at an outside table was Sandra Oh, with a table of six or so, including Amber from Clueless (Elisa Donovan). Had no idea Sandra and Ambular were friends...

· Saturday night at a photo "gallery showing" at a trendy Hollywood coffee joint, I saw Syler from "Heroes" aka ZACHARY QUINTO. IMDB says homeboy is 30 - no way! On the show, I always thought he looked late 20s/30-ish, but in person he looks baby-faced and about 24. He was prepster/hipster cool sportin' a sweater and black horn rimmed glasses and seemed to be at this thing with a girl/date. Zach clearly knew the photographer, who I also believe is usually an actor type himself. This sighting made me totally anxious for "Heroes" to come back from hiatus!

· 3-25 Paris pal Kim "Oooh baby I'm gonna cum" Kardashian at Casa Vega in Sherman Oaks. Huge boobs hanging out of a low cut dress, heavy makeup, waiting for a table like everyone else. Maybe if Paris was there she would have been seated faster!

· A very tall Neil Flynn from Scrubs wandered in to the Robin Hood Pub in Sherman Oaks, just before midnight on Friday. He was with a contingent of other "very tall" guys. Could of fielded a competitive basketball team!

· The DiceMan Cometh to 24hr FItness in Sherman Oaks. Just clocked funnyman manque Andrew Dice Clay bellying up to the reception with his long-haired semi-surly son. Nice 'tude, tubs. They are soon to be reality stars, no?, like the Osbournes and Hulk Hogans. Whatever the comeback format, he looked way (whey?) burly with huge out-hanging shirt and amusingly frazzled hair and sideburns, now streaked with grey. Here's hoping to a meeting of comic titans when he bumps into gym regular Jay Mohr.

· Marix, Saturday 24th March — there was a huge party going on on the patio, pink balloons, drunken guests, the whole 9... sitting in the corner in a little celebu-pod was an odd mix of folks, including a sweatshirted Monica Keena, pigtaled and ginghamed Rachel Boston, animated Diane Delano, and slick-haired Joel Michaely. It looked like everyone was having a gay old time with a set of big blonde twins.

· Today I saw Halle Berry's ex, Eric Benet is Claremont, CA. He was entering the Some Crust bakery with 2 young girls when I was leaving. Both he and the girls were dressed super-hollywood-y; he's quite attractive though, and a decent height (since people seem to care about that kind of thing). The girls had on Harajuku Lovers tees and handbags, and True Religion jeans. He was wearing some sort of crazy-painted Vans shoe, jeans, and blazer. And I think embroidery on either his shirt or the blazer. They were all just a whirl of graphics. That's what I mean by super-hollywood-y, who else can afford to be so very trendy?? My friend and I figure he was in town to visit Ben Harper or something since Some Crust is a block or so away from Ben's parents' Folk Music Center. Woo hoo. Yes I know, not very exciting.

· Saw Haley Marie Norman from Deal or No Deal at Miceli's in Universal City. I have never seen the show, but people I was with recognized her. I just thought when I walked by her, "Wow, that is a gorgeous woman." You'd have to be gorgeous to pull off that 'do, and she does. One of the guys I was with wanted to go up and ask her if he could see inside her 'briefcase'. Hilarity ensued!

· [Ed. note: Since recent media appearances have featured a cleanshaven Jon Heder, we strongly suspect the following sighting was of accidental Heder impressionist Marc Horowitz.] finishing up brunch at Dusty's in Silverlake this Sunday, we caught Jon Heder of Napoleon Dynamite and Blades of Glory fame getting on his bike. He appeared heftier than I thought he would be and looked like a total stoner, long scraggly hair and full on beard. Isn't he a Mormon? He didn't look like a Mormon. Anyway, it could've also been his twin brother, Dan Heder. Oh and he was totally nice.

Our initial disappointment that this video didn't deliver its promised clip of Gwyneth Paltrow talking about the YouTubes at last night's Oscar ceremony quickly gave way to awe as we realized what we'd actually stumbled upon: Some cameraphone footage smuggled out of VF's legendary Morton's bash, in which a newly bald Jack Nicholson proves once and for all that he only shaved his head to play the part of a terminal cancer patient and not because of any mysterious malady of his own, demonstrating his incredible health by removing his shirt and jumping repeatedly into a hastily constructed bonfire. The audio's garbled to the point of incomprehensibility, but we could swear we hear him say, "Now bring me Reese Witherspoon. All that bouncing around's got me all revved up!" after his final tumble through the flames.

• Gwyneth Paltrow talks about youtube in oscars 2007 [YouTube]

In today's episode: Bruce Willis, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Kevin Pollak, David Arquette, Jason Bateman, Jack Nicholson, Rob Reiner, Lou Adler and Jeremy Piven; James Woods and Ashley Madison; Lindsay Lohan; Quentin Tarantino; Ron Howard; Billy Bob Thornton; Val Kilmer and Aida Turturro; Chloe Sevigny; Jenny McCarthy; Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley; Mike Tyson; Zach Galifianakis; Rob Zombie; Amy Smart and Fabio; David Hockney; Molly Stanton and Jeffrey Jones.

· Seen courtside at what was undoubtedly "boys' night out" at last Friday's [pathetic!] Lakers/Bobcats game:

Bruce Willis sitting between Jeffrey Katzenberg and Kevin Pollak, all wearing baseball caps for obvious reasons; David Arquette looking surprisingly cute in a Ryan Gosling sort of way, in the company of non-famous friends; Jason Bateman, also surprisingly handsome, also with civilians; fixture Jack Nicholson (really bald and old) with Rob Reiner and Cisco Adler's dad Lou Adler; and apparently the only famous guy there out on a date (with a very nondescript brunette woman), Jeremy Piven, who, just like alter-ego Ari, spent half the time on his cell. And it wasn't even a boring game (well, not until the 4th quarter)!

· Thursday, jan 25th, urth cafe on melrose, jeremy piven rubbernecking in his 'rover—funny enough that was a day or two after i caught his appearance on the Regis and Kelly show (defense: I WAS ON THE TREADMILL AT THE GYM!), where he prefaced a statement with "this is probably the most pretentious thing i'll ever say,....blah blah blah"...uh, jeremy, really, somehow i just don't think it will be.....

· On 1/24 @7:30pm, The Grove Theater, a super close encounter: My companions and I were in line at the concession stand when we noticed a rather sullen James Woods standing next to our group, with a very young, skinny, tall blonde girlfriend in tow (Ashley Madison). He literally has a big head. What is it with celebs and their huge noggins? He was complaining (not rudely, but rather vocally) that the automatic concession order stations were not working properly. Many wisecracks about modern technology and stupid corporate exectutives were spewed. Picture a scene from Shark or Casino; now I know for certain that James Woods basically plays himself in every movie. The girlfriend, who did not speak one word during his tirade, was trying unsuccessfully to hide two black eyes and a splint from a very recent nosejob under a baseball cap.

· Lindsay Lohan eating dinner at Koi on Thursday night. If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it! She was there with a few girlfriends, and that guy she takes everywhere, Mike Heller. Then later on closer to 10:30, two gay guys joined her table. She came in and out the back door. She didn't seem to be trying too hard to hide, it was like everything was normal. What the fuck kind of rehab lets you go to Koi for dinner!? She probably got kicked out of rehab. I have heard of a lot of rehabs where you get to do things like use your cell phone, or once-a-week attend outside AA, etc., and those rehabs are considered "easy." I want to know what doctors put their stamp of approval behind dinner at Koi as a healthy therapeutic activity.

· saw Quentin Tarantino at Virgin Megastore on sunset today (around 3:15pm) taking a break from editing Grindhouse. nice guy.

· 1-27 Love the Arclight. In line getting tickets, is Ron Howard.

· Sun, 1/21 - This is coming a little late, but I thought it was worth mentioning. Last Sunday afternoon, I was walking out of the Century City mall food court when out of the corner of my eye I spotted Bad Santa himself in full-on "don't f-ing look my way" Bad Santa mode,looked away and kept walking because I respect his craft and am a tiny bit scared of him. He was several feet away and shielded in a cap and sunglasses, but you know that Billy Bob Thornton mug when you see it. He was with a woman who, even from quite a distance and judging from the back, I could tell was likely too close to his age to be a date.

· First time out on the town since the surgery, I spotted batshit-crazy Val Kilmer on the patio of Il Sole on Sat night (1/27). Dining with an older female, looked businessy. About an hour later Iceman was gone but Tony Soprano's sister (Aida Turturro) was sitting in the same spot, gabbing to a group of friends. Must be the designated celebrity seating area, which is odd because it's probably the most visible table in the place - you basically HAVE to walk by it to get to the host stand. On second thought, maybe that's on purpose. Bob Gersh was there too, but nobody cares about agents, right?

· chloe sevigny showed up for karoke at cha cha last night. so pretty! so normal! I'd tell you more, but drank far too much to collect any further details.

· Tues., Jan. 30 - Jenny McCarthy in the lower-level lingerie department at Saks in BH. Accompanied by an uber stylish Amazonian blonde woman. Jenny cazh in jeans, but tiny and also kind of a tiny head. No lollipop girl there, I'll tell ya.

· saturday, january 27 saw avril lavigne and deryck whibley emerging from the mac store with two parental figures. they are really small in person. also saw the el pollo guy at h&m the same day. the people that work at the store were pretty stoked to see that guy.

· Saturday night, 8:30PM, Borders on La Cienaga (I'm married). Brushing past me on way out... Mike Tyson. At a book store. On Saturday night. Seemed nice enough (?), but never in a thousand-million years would you want to fight that man.

· Saw horror faux-teur Rob Zombie and his wife (?) Sheri in Larchmont Village on Saturday. He needs a bath.

· 1/28, 12:30 p.m. Saw the heavily hirsute, somewhat underachieving Comedians of Comedy stalwart Zach Galifianakis leaving Joni's Coffee Roasting Cafe in Marina Del Rey. He got into a green Subaru with a brunette who was entirely too hot for him. No leftover Sunday brunch was immediately visible in his ChiaBeard.

· 1-28-07 My boyfriend and I were at the Whole Foods on Fairfax and Santa Monica to pick up some dinner. As soon as we walked in, my boyfriend went crazy over a stringy, tapered-jean-wearing, thin-haired girl who appeared as if she hadn't seen a bottle of conditioner in three weeks. Excitedly he grabbed my arm to come look at Amy Smart, however, I was extremely underwhelmed. Standing before me was a cancer patient with over-processed, unnatural black witch hair. She looked like a waif in a ratty sweatshirt picking out string beans (apparently it's the new south beach diet). Anyway, she was nothing to write home about. The cash register boy said it best himself, "Yah, she comes here all the time... she looks like shit". As a side note, while we were checking out, I offered to pay for our meal as Fabio turned to me squinting in his tight LA Choppers jersey, high cut washed out Levi's, and his very 2005 cowboy boots. I don't know about you, but I can believe it's not butter.

· leaving a lunch meeting at Hugos yesterday 1-25 around 2pm i was walking down to the parking lot next door and i saw a cute old guy standing with a group of young cute guys i had to walk through them and i looked up to see David Hockney smoking with his little cap on and that wonderful voice. I hadn't seen him out in a long time, looks older, but oh so amazing!

well that is my first sighting comment...........by the way my meeting sucked.

· Everything around me in the strip mall was in Spanish. I was terrified, and trying to find The Good Chiropractor (flying cross country 8 million times in a middle seat is rough). Ray of sunshine, even at 9am on a Saturday, Molly Stanton — the hetero twin from Twins (way back when we still had the WB), holding an icy Starbucks, like a vision, bounded in to the office. People who can move freely should not be chipper around grouchy, non-Starbucks anointed people who just want caffeine and an adjustment.

· Yesterday (1-24) saw Jeffrey Jones dining at Chan Darette, on Pico in West LA. He is ginormous and looks really...bad, to be frank. I guess he's old now. My dining companion remarked, didn't he suffer from some health issues recently? I didn't recall that, but I do remember something about him being busted for downloading underage porn. Classy! Jeffrey dined with two older male companions, they looked like they were having a good time.

BEST ACTOR
Leonardo DiCaprio, "The Departed" (Leo nominated for "Blood Diamond" instead)
Sacha Baron Cohen, "Borat"
Hugh Jackman, "The Fountain," "The Prestige"
Derek Luke, "Catch a Fire"
Edward Norton, "The Illusionist," "The Painted Veil"
Ken Watanabe, "Letters from Iwo Jima"

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Jack Nicholson, "The Departed"
Michael Sheen, "The Queen"
Ben Affleck, "Hollywoodland"
Adam Beach, "Flags of Our Fathers"
Michael Caine, "Children of Men"
James McAvoy, "Last King of Scotland"
Brad Pitt, "Babel"
Stanley Tucci, "The Devil Wears Prada"

While it's easy to write off Jack Nicholson's The Departed performance as unbridled scene-chewing, we'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone of the amazing supporting performance of his strap-on co-star, who should have a legitimate beef with Warner Bros.' publicists for an unfortunate snubbing; had the studio simply sent out some replica dildos with their pre-nomination For Your Consideration packages, the veiny, intimidatingly large prosthetic would undoubtedly be celebrating alongside Alan Arkin, Mark Wahlberg, and Djimon Hounsou this morning.

• Who Oscar snubbed: 'Dreamgirls,' Brad, Jack . . .[The Envelope]

Martin Scorsese's gangster film "The Departed" received nominations for best film, best director, best actor (Leonardo DiCaprio), supporting actor (Jack Nicholson), best acting ensemble, best writer (William Monahan) and best composer (Howard Shore). [...]

Also competing for best picture are ["Babel," "Little Miss Sunshine," "Dreamgirls,"] "Blood Diamond," "Letters From Iwo Jima," "Little Children," "Notes on a Scandal," "The Queen" and "United 93."

Joining DiCaprio for best actor are Ryan Gosling for "Half Nelson," Peter O'Toole for "Venus," Will Smith for "The Pursuit of Happyness" and "Forest Whitaker for "The Last King of Scotland."

Competing for best actress are Penelope Cruz for "Volver," Judi Dench for "Notes on a Scandal," Helen Mirren for "The Queen," Meryl Streep for "The Devil Wears Prada" and Kate Winslet for "Little Children."

Also worth nothing is their singling out of Ben Affleck for his turn in Hollywoodland—a role that had garnered positive reviews and a Venice film fest award when the movie was released back in early September, but that might have otherwise gotten lost in the awards shuffle—and the lack of a nomination for former bromance partner/better-career-decision-maker Matt Damon's work in The Departed. It remains to be seen if this might herald a reversal of fortune for the duo, with Damon unexpectedly entering a semi-retirement of taking care of his newborn and making well-photographed Starbucks runs, while Affleck, even more astoundingly, finds himself no longer the object ot tabloid ridicule as he embarks on a string of well-received movies.

• Broadcast Film Critics announce noms [The Envelope]

In today's spectacular episode: Jessica, Ashlee and Joe Simpson, Taylor Hicks, John Mayer and Rex Linn; Jack Nicholson; Hilary Swank and John Campisi; Kirsten Dunst and Shirley MacLaine; Mark Foley; Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, Brett Ratner, Guinevere Van Seenus, Kirsty Hume, Adam Levine and Marcellas Reynolds; Mark Wahlberg; Halle Berry; Maria Shriver and Jamie Lee Curtis; Larry David; Bridget Marquardt; Debra Winger and Arliss Howard; Michael Pena; Tyler James Williams; Dennis Rodman; Sissy Spacek; Forest Whitaker; Queen Latifah; Bob Barker; Dominic Purcell; Jason Bateman; Sean Hayes and Liza Weil; Scott Baio; Nicky Hilton and David Katzenberg; Jay Leno; Chris Parnell and Tom Greene; Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna; Jesse Metcalfe; Gary Busey; Adrian Pasdar and Ian Ziering; Dwight Yoakam; Robert Sean Leonard; Warren Christopher; Jane Lynch; Bruce Vilanch; Simon Helberg and Jason Ritter and Patrick Stump.

· It was a celebrity bonanza at the LAX Admirals Club today (Wednesday before Thanksgiving) as the stars scattered to other parts of the country to spread their People magazine worthy holiday cheer.

First off saw Rex Linn (CSI Miami) hanging out with Taylor Hicks talking about Texas football. Then John Mayer wandered by casually scouting out the Admirals Club Dressed in a hooded sweatshirt, very casual, and precisely what you'd expect him to be wearing. Didn't see where he went, but when I went in search of him I discovered not just Jessica Simpson, but Ashlee Simpson as well. Thought the Simpson sisters looked far better in person than I ever expected them to, and Ashley's beauty has certainly surpassed Jessica's (except in the boobs department) thanks to whatever work she had done on her face. Note: did not see Mayer & Simpson together.

· The Simpson clan was seated in the last row of first class on my flight from LAX to Austin on the day before Thanksgiving. Jessica was wearing a cape/shawl type coat and her hair really needed a hot oil treatment. Ashlee looked as plastic as you would expect, and all the surgery was not offset by the Vans/fedora/wide leg pants ensemble she was sporting. Joe had a big fat diamond stud in his ear like he was Nelly or something and got up about five times during the flight to check something in the overheard bin. Mom (Tina I think?) looked normal, but irritated. Bitchiness aside, Jessica was very nice to the one young girl who approached her for an autograph at baggage claim.

· Was at the Coliseum on Saturday night for SC and ND and who should be seated four rows in front of me? (Sec. 6 row 26) Jack Nicholson and his Michael Hutchence-haired kid that's who. Didn't leave his seat once during the entire game; in fact fans were passing in front of him on the way to the toilets on more than a few occasions, oblivious as to who the dude in the white Yankees cap was. Tis' a sight I seldom saw back in college at Ohio State. Can't wait for Jack's Trojans to tangle with my Buckeyes. GO BUCKS!

· Saturday night while I'm cursing having to work instead of getting drunk and watching the Trojans play, Hilary Swank and male friend (the agent she's allegedly dating?—John Campisi) walked into my store on Main Street in Santa Monica. Dressed very casual, both wearing baseball hats, khakis (her), and sweats (him). They looked around for a bit and then wandered out... not very exciting at all but it brought a sliver of interest into my otherwise decrepit evening.

· Last Saturday, at the afternoon showing of Bobby at the Arclight:

Kirsten Dunst and two other girls, all wearing the tight jeans/flats ensemble. Her hair was short and she looked okay. When the Arclight guy came out to introduce the movie, he was listing the extensive cast and when he said Lindsay Lohan one of Dunst's friends said "yeah!" (very sarcastic) and they all started to
giggle. They ducked out right as the credits started.

On the way out, we found out that Shirley MacLaine was apparently in the same showing! They had the clothes from Bobby on display in the lobby and Shirley stopped to look at them, which was adorable because she's been in like ten thousand movies but she was still down to check out some show biz paraphernalia. She was with two men and looked great, totally gorgeous in real casual jeans and a sweater.

· Dull, but true: Chief Protagonist of the midterm's "Cocktober Surprise" and disgraced former Congressman Mark Foley having Sunday brunch with a woman (no preteens in sight) at Doughboys on 3rd.

· While having dinner at Chateau Marmont; Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen at a table of 7 eating. There was a chunky guy that I think was Brett Ratner. Models Guinevere Van Seenus and Kirsty Hume joined them later. Marcellas Reynolds and Adam Levine from Maroon 5 were both wearing scarves. It was cold out, even with the heaters. They were at a huge table drinking and talking. It was very cool.

· 11/19 Marky Mark Wahlberg in a silver Mercedes on Crescent and SM Blvd. I stared at him to confirm identity so I didn't get a good look at his female passenger. He just sort of looked back at me (on my bike), as if to say, yes, it's me. Then he zoomed off.

· 11/21 Was in the very crowded Bristol Farms in BH this afternoon when I spotted Halle Berry in a check-out line, looking really cute in jeans, baseball cap and ponytail, was friendly to everyone around her. Little-to-no-makeup and even prettier in person. At first I wasn't sure it was her so I asked my friend with me what he thought. He craned his neck as discreetly as possible, seeing her from a side view at the check out and replied, "Yep, it's her, I know that a** anywhere". Having been one of the few dozen people that saw CatWoman I don't doubt his expertise.

· Banner day at Barney's on Tuesday! Okay, literally stopped into Barney's for like 10 minutes after lunch to see if they had these Marc Jacob boots in stock that I wanted (they didn't) and discovered it was take-your-daughter-shopping-day. In the "junior" shoe department on the 3rd floor? California First Lady MARIA SHRIVER and one of her daughters (or do she and Govenator only have only one daughter? I know they have multiple off-spring, just not sure of the genders). Maria was looking good, very slim. The daughter is TALL. Then on the way out, saw JAMIE LEE CURTIS and daughter in the jewelry department! Jamie Lee looks hot. Manly, but hot. Funny thing too because my friend and I were, by chance, talking about "For Your Consideration" as we walked by Jamie Lee — as we all know, her husband Christopher Guest directed it! Wonder if she heard us? (We were actually talking about how much it sucked. Which is especially sad since "Waiting for Guffman" is pure genius. Sorry if that's a spoiler for anyone reading this!).

· Last Sunday I was people watching outside the AMC on the Promenade waiting for a friend. A pair of beautifully shaped breasts somehow caught my attention and when I looked up I realized it was Hugh Hefner Girlfriend # 3: Bridget Marquardt. She was wearing the standard, huge, paparazzi-blocking sunglasses, but after a minute I was sure it was her and was thrown back by how much hotter she is in person.

-A little late, but two Saturdays ago I was walking around Fred Segal when I heard a familiar voice, I turned around and realized it was Larry David, wearing the standard sneakers, khakis, and baseball cap that he dons as a "costume" on his show. He was browsing around and making jokes with his wife and from their body language I could have sworn that I was watching an episode of Curb.

· veritable cornucopia of celeb sightings this past holiday weekend....

wed 11/22 at the apple pan on pico... amid the throngs of last-minute pie shoppers hoping for a pecan or pumpkin for the holiday was a placid debra winger, enjoying a burger with much-less-famous husband (boyfriend?) arliss howard and a youngster who was probably her/their kid. just acting like regular folks, aside from the digital snapshots debra was taking of her son chowing down...

wed 11/22 at prizzi's on franklin, none other than michael pena (thanks, imdb!), locksmith from "crash," nic cage buddy in "world trade center" and army to "shield" watchers. he was casually dressed, but talking shop. something about millions for screenplays sold to bruckheimer...

sun 11/26 young tyler james williams, chris from "everybody hates chris," checking out the morning show of "casino royale" at the grove with what looked like siblings and father. sadly, dad appeared to be nowhere near as funny as tv counterpart terry crews. also, a lack of chris rock narration of the unfolding events made the movie trip seem somehow drab.

· I was at The Abbey about 10 pm Thanksgiving night. Dennis Rodman was there with some female arm candy. He was clearly inebriated (or something), but was also in control, *very* friendly and nice, chatting with patrons and behaving in general the way celebrities used to. It was refreshing to see a celebrity who didn't turn into a racist/antisemitic/homophobic monster after a few appletinis. There is hope after all.

· - Friday Nov.17 - Saw Sissy Spacek and a young woman I can only assume was her daughter (red hair, same nose) browsing the sweaters in the JCrew store on the 3rd Street Promonade (friend's comment: "She looks just like my mom" — she did; she looked just like a mom). The next day saw Evan Handler at the Whole Foods on 3rd and Fairfax — looks just like you'd think but thinner; man has no ass.

· My sister and I just got back from Macy's in Sherman Oaks and saw Forest Whitaker shopping with a gorgeous woman and beautiful child, maybe her, (their) pre-teen daughter? Anyway, we were compelled to go up to him and tell him how amazing he was in The Last King of Scotland. He responded with genuine thanks, almost seemed embarrassed by the compliments...all three smiled and thanked us for our comments and we walked away hoping he wins the Oscar! What a nice guy.

· Tuesday night, 8pm: Queen Latifah walks into the Whole Foods in Beverly Hills, engaged in a heated conversation on her cell phone. Though she picks up a hand-basket for food, it remains unfilled for at least twenty minutes as she walks from aisle to aisle trying hard to keep her voice down. She has a wonderful strut.

· Bob Barker at Mayfair Market on Franklin. Wearing a black track suit and Wayfarers inside. Not with a Barker's Beauty, but being dragged around by (younger than him, older than me) blonde.

· 11/21) saw dominic purcell (lincoln burrows) of prison break outside an elementary school in woodland hills...picking up one of his four kids, obviously.

what was i doing there? passing by on my way to mom's to help prep for turkey day. clad in a leather jacket, jeans and boots, and sporting the shaved head and permanent scowl, he looked as just as badass as he does on the show.

· Friday 24 November: Jason Bateman at the 5:30 showing of "For Your Consideration", looking both taller and older than I thought he would.

· Must be Supporting Comedic Foil Week: Sunday, 11/19, saw Liza Weil from Gilmore Girls (also star of the awesome indie Whatever) dining with a friend at the pizza bar. Mozza is overrated but Liza Weil is not. She's tiny and very blonde and pretty, but she looks tiny and blonde and pretty on GG, so this was not surprising. Monday, 11/20, Sean Hayes dining with a male companion at BLD on Beverly Blvd. We were with a bunch of parents in from out of town, so this was a particularly good spot because they all knew who he was (except for my mom, who "does not watch TV," more proof that I might be adopted).

· last night...7:45 showing of Casino Royale at the Pacific Theater in Sherman Oaks Galleria. Scott Baio walks in with a "regular" looking guy friend and they go sit in the back. I didn't hang around after to see where they went, because honestly, who gives a fuck? probably the lamest "sighting" ever. i'll try and have at least a B-celeb in my next report.

· Nicky Hilton and David Katzenberg at Teddy's on Saturday night. All the reports are saying that they're dating, but although they were in the same group, they didn't really seem to be paying attention to each other. Plus, he hit on a girl there and it looked like they exchanged numbers. So either they're not together, or he's just a cheating ass....

· This is a month old now, but pretty odd, I think (but I don't live in LA, so who knows).

Saw Jay Leno trying to enter traffic in residential Burbank (near the Woodbury campus). I didn't notice him at first, because his vehicle was the attraction. It was an ancient, buggy-type car (think is was a car, anyway) that looked as though it should have been pulled by horses. It would not have attracted attention in a parade, but sure did in Burbank. Part of his car collection, perhaps?

· Sat. Nov 18th -

There were a couple of out-of-work comedians at Saturday's Tenacious D concert at the Gibson Amphitheater (which will always be called The Universal in my heart.) Former SNL-er Chris Parnell was walking around the pit with two women. He was happily posing for pictures with fans, which was awesome until I realized that a year ago, he was being paid to NOT spend Saturday nights in L.A. Then I just felt bad for him, because he seemed nice. Then during the (intentionally awful) 2nd opening act (Neil Hamburger, a sad knock-off of Kaufman's Tony Clifton), former MTV star-turned internet obscurity Tom Greene and his entourage failing to get access to the pit. I imagine that will just turn into a segment on his internet talk show. Please note: I hate myself for knowing he has an internet talk show.

I spent Sunday afternoon at The Commons in Calabasas, and mid-sentence of a story I lose my train of thought as I see Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna walk right by us— well more specifically, the leathery skin and unbelievable gigantic lips (bigger in person) of Lisa Rinna and the bad spray-on tan of Harry Hamlin.

· Gabrielle Union sitting windowside in a booth with friends at Mexicali Wednesday night.

· 7:30 p.m.-ish Tuesday, 11/21 Saw Jesse Metcalfe (couldn't help but notice the eyebrows first) perusing the wines at Cost Plus in the Farmer's Market. He was dressed in a casual button-down shirt and jeans - nothing special. He didn't seem to attract any attention until he walked up to the register. The clerk gushed uncontrollably, and a couple patrons nearly sustained neck injuries from all the craning.

· Friday night Southwest flight, Phoenix to LAX: Gary Busey, preboarding and sitting on the aisle in the first row, thus forcing every weary weekly business traveler to inch around his massive teeth and crazy eyes. He had a huge metal briefcase full of cassette tapes and travel guides. He got up at one point and poked his head into the cockpit, making the other passengers nervous...especially the ones who recognized him. Dude is batshit.

· While lunching at Gabi's Mediterranean Cafe in Marina del Rey:

Adrian Pasdar of "Heroes" jogging by, but not flying. And hey, any guy who snagged Natalie Mains of the Dixie Chicks is a hero in my book...

...and a few minutes earlier, Ian Ziering — nee Steve Whosits of "Beverly Hills 90210" — trying to impress the waitresses and the girl at the skate rental shop across the street. Best overheard comment: "He used to be on TV or something, but that's a really nice bike." He was with a cute, young blonde lacking his ex-wife's unnatural endowments.

· After the Grove turned off the fake snow and hosed the babies off the singing fountain, a cool celebrity showed up - Dwight Yoakam and his cowboy boots took in a late night movie.

· Friday night, Formosa Cafe. Spotted Robert Sean Leonard, late of "House", with some friends. He's very tall, had sort of a tragic sweater on, and didn't set off my GayDar (which surprised me). I couldn't help but get excited—he was in "Dead Poet's Society"!!!!!!!!!!!! And he's a little hotter in person...Oh Captain, my Captain indeed!

· 11/18 at Century City Mall... weirdly spotted former Clinton Secretary of State Warren Christopher near Ann Taylor. Another passerby asked me who he was and was supremely disappointed that he was a former cabinet secretary and not some actor who might've played a stodgy neighbor on an old sitcom...

· "For Your Consideration" star Jane Lynch buying a ticket (solo, alas) to "Shut Up and Sing" at Laemmle 5 at noon on Thanksgiving Day. Really wanted to offer to share my floor tickets to Friday's Dixie Chicks concert at the Staples Center, but I thought that might be a bit too stalkerish.

· Monday, November 27 noon, the Beverly Hills Public Library. Because that's how I roll.

I enter the reference "study tables" section in search of a place to plug in my laptop. I find a table where only one other person is sitting. A morbidly obese person, but, hey, there's still plenty of room for me.

As I get plugged in, his wheezy, labored breathing begins to distract me. I look at him and realize its none other than noted fat Awards Show writing hack Bruce Vilanch, red glasses and all. He's wearing a green "What Wouldn't Jesus Do?" T-shirt and reading - wait for it - "The Devil's Guide to Hollywood," by Joe Eszterhas. As I moved tables to get away from the wheezing - dude seriously needs another season of "Celebrity Fit Club"- and began working on my own crappy script I smiled, buoyed by the reminder that my own mediocrity might not prevent me from making it big someday. Well, not as big as Bruce. Nobody else will ever be that huge.

· Saturday (11/25), a friend and I were in line for the 8 p.m. Upright Citizens Brigade show when my friend moved away from the line in order to smoke a cigarette. As he did so, a tiny fellow approached those of us in line and very earnestly asked if we had a light. None of us did, but I said, "That guy does, over there," pointing to my friend. The little man got a light from my friend and all was well. After a moment, my friend and I traded places so that I could finish his cigarette (I'm a casual user), and I was standing a few feet from the small gentleman when a couple of passersby stopped to tell him they enjoyed his work. This baffled me, as I did not recognize him as being famous. Perhaps they meant his work smoking cigarettes outside of black-box theaters. The mystery was solved some 20 minutes later, inside the theater, when the UCB folks introduced him as a guest performer: Simon Helberg, of "Studio 60." The wee, skinny, adorably large-nosed character is one of the performers in the fictional sketch series. I recall pegging him as Studio 60's Jimmy Fallon, though I cannot now recall any impressions he has done on the show, nor any sketches during which he inappropriately giggled.

In the audience at the same UCB show was Jason Ritter, son of famed stumblebum John Ritter. He was short, though not nearly as petite as Simon Helberg, and was accompanied by a few friends, male and female, all in their early to mid-20s like himself. Seating at UCB is first-come first-served, but of course Jason Ritter had arranged to have seats taped off for him and his friends. He laughed heartily throughout the show, including the parts about the Holocaust, cancer, and Holocaust cancer. (You had to be there.)

· I was stuck in traffic on Melrose on Friday and glanced into the Toyrobot store and saw Patrick Stump the lead singer of Fall Out Boy. Slightly hipster but not trying too hard. Just shopping like a normal person, not one person seemed to recognize him! Actually I think he was trying to get the attention of the salesperson. Awesome!

At Defamer HQ, there is hardly an event more breathlessly anticipated than Miss Golden Globes Day, in which the Hollywood Foreign Press announces which teenage celebrity offspring will be plucked from relative obscurity, momentarily paraded on stage during their alcohol-drenched awards ceremony in an extravagant gown, and then immediately returned to a life of languishing in the shadow of their famous parents, left with little more than the fleeting sensory memory of the overpowering whiskey fumes rising off slurry presenter Harrison Ford. At a ceremony taking place earlier today, Lorraine Nicholson (the 16-year-old daughter of multiple Globe-winner Jack, should you not be familiar with her work), like every Miss Golden Globe that has come before her, emerged from a twenty-foot-tall, gilded vagina representing "Mother Hollywood" (modeled, legend has it, on the ladyparts of pioneering actress Mary Pickford), a powerfully symbolic entrance dramatizing the honoree's glorious rebirth into the show-business community. Please join us in recognizing young Nicholson on this special day, then in looking forward to the profoundly uncomfortable moment in which daughter and proud, scene-chewing Dad appear together onstage, when Jack will find himself unable to resist the temptation to tick off the names of each of Lorraine's predecessors with whom he's enjoyed a sexual relationship.

[Photo: Getty Images]

• Lorraine Nicholson Selected As 2007 Miss Golden Globe [HFPA.org]
• Previously: Golden Globes Hangover: Melanie Griffith Clings To Her Daughter, Past [Defamer]

In today's spectacular calvacade of stars: Jack Nicholson; Aaron Sorkin; James Woods; Lindsay Lohan, Mandy Moore, Minnie Driver, and George Lucas; Sumner Redstone, Brad Grey and Emeril Lagassi; Bruce Willis; Steve Carell; Michael Cera; Nicole Richie; Jules Asner and Steven Soderbergh; Jessica Simpson; Kurt Russell, Goldie Hawn, Val Kilmer, Garry Shandling and Tom Morello; Thomas Schlamme; Helen Mirren; Danny DeVito, Kirsten Dunst, Toni Collette; Elijah Wood; Johnny Galecki; an Olsen twin; Sandra Oh; Jeffrey Sebelia; Scott Wolf and Kelley Limp; Zach Braff; Wes Bentley and Carson Daly; Geoffrey Rush and Corey Haim; Mischa Barton; Jerry Stiller and Ann Meara; Peter Dinklage; Leslie Bibb; Slash and Stockard Channing; Charlotte Rae; Michael Bolton; Michael Emerson; Paris Latsis, Stavros Niarchos, Travis Barker and Fabio; Kevin Richardson; Mike "Boogie" Malin; Billy Connolly; Jeffrey Jones and John deLancie.

· Saw Jack Nicholson last night (10-8) walking out of the Grove theater around 7:30 p.m. No young slut(s) on his arm—he was alone. Perhaps he took in the 5:30 p.m. showing of "The Departed?" Always nice to see your own head projected on a massive screen.

· OK, I've held this back, but with all the Sorkin references lately... A couple of months ago, I was in first on a Continental flight from Newark to LAX. Having been a former NBC exec, I knew it was Aaron Sorkin sitting ahead of me, and quietly mentioned so to my wife, who's a big fan. But then, he started laughing, shockingly hard, at the movie, which was "Ice Age the Meltdown." And I told her that I must be mistaken, as we all know comedy writers might quietly say "that's funny," assuming it was, and I'm assuming this film wasn't, but loud guffaws? Since seeing all the publicity photos, it's now clear that I was right — it was him. Maybe he can move onto wacky talking animal animation when Studio 60 gets 86'd.

Oh yeah. And James Woods looking bored also at the Grove eating dinner with some blonde at that lame restaurant across from the theater.

· Last night (Sunday 10/8) saw Lindsay Lohan, Mandy Moore, Minnie Driver, and The Grizzled One (George Lucas) at the Grove. Minnie Driver and Mandy Moore were in line at the Mexican place at the Farmers Market. Minnie was wearing this stripey black and white top with jeans tucked into boots and this light blue cashmere throw. She was there with another English girl, and a guy. Minnie was very conspicuous and was telling some story about some fan who came up to her and couldn't get her name right, and she kept saying "Its Minnie." Mandy Moore was in line with this nebbishy looking guy, but they looked to be friends. No canoodling to speak of. We saw Lindsay at the 10:30 showing of "The Departed." She was rocking an Elvira/Leather Daddy look. Black leggings, black leather jacket, long black hair and pale skin. There was nothing notable. We shared a brief moment in which we made eye contact with my eyes saying "Lindsay? Is it really you?" And her eyes saying "Yup, lets not make a thing out of it. Just a normal night, wearing some leather daddy outfit. Its cool." And then finally, we spotted The Grizzled One walking towards the parking garage, by that fake Paris bistro part of the Grove. He was walking hurriedly, and then just as he was about to get on the elevator, this dude called out his name and started following him.

· Sumner Redstone & wife with his pet midget, Brad Grey:

Just as I was walking into the Grill On The Alley, coming right at me is the God Emperor of Viacom with wife in tow.

Where it came from, I don't know, but I just said in the most jovial of tones, "Hi Sumner!" which he replied probably equally as impressed that a tiny piss ant like myself would even speak to him. Seemed like a really nice man, and common sense got the best of me from saying, "Way to fire that faggot! Good job!"

I was so busy admiring Sumner's dye job that Brad Grey, whom Sumner was obviously dining with, slipped by behind him. I didn't even see him, he's that small. They weren't ten feet past me when my friend told me I almost stepped on Brad, he's that small, and I'm only 5' 8"!

Ten minutes later, Emeril Lagassi came walking into the restaurant with his entourage.

He looked like he was ready to fall asleep into his Oysters on the half shell and what looked like soft peel shrimp. I wanted to go over to the table and scream, "wham!" and wake him up, just like he does every time I 'm napping during one of his segments on the Food Channel.

Thumbs up on The Grill though, a great place with great chow. Much better then Emeril could ever come-up with.

· 10/9 Saw Bruce Willis powering through the bread aisle at Bristol Farms on Beverly/Doheny, followed by some grungy-looking Cisco Adler type carrying his stuff. (Not sure Cisco Adler deserves boldface.)

· Michael Cera (George Michael from Arrested Devlopment) with his cute girlfriend at Detour last night.
Steve Carell (!!!!) at Gelson's in Studio City buying baby food and diapers Sunday at 6:30... had to gushingly tell him how much my boyfriend and I love everything he does- he was super nice!

· Two pretty good sightings while waiting to buy food within in two days. First, Saw Nicole Richie consuming food (Pinkberry) last friday, 10/6 at the West Hollywood location, Her weave was a little ratty and her skin is a very strange color from all the spray on tanning. Her and the two friends held up the line and were obnoxious, Nicole somehow managed to juggle texting on her Treo throughout the ordering process while wearing her supersized shades. She was with that girl DJ that is very 'boyish'...(a Ronson I think) and just when we thought she was done, NR handed back her yogurt (small cup) for extry fruity pebbles (no joke) and got them! Then Saturday, 10/7, saw Jules Asner (hot) and Steven Soderbergh (not so hot) buying jumbo bucket of popcorn to share for the first screening of 'The Departed' at the Chinese. Guess they must have been out to support buddy Matt Damon. They were cute together and very low key and didn't seem to mind the long concession line. (p.s.— the movie rocked!) (p.p.s.— don't worry, I'm going on a diet!)

· So skinny minnie Jessica Simpson in dark skinny jeans and a light blue flannel plaid long sleeved shirt is grocery shopping in Gelson's at Westfield Century City. She was wearing her sunglasses when she was first shopping (you know, so no one would recognize her) but took them off halfway through the store. I think she's wearing clogs, but maybe boots. Her hair is in a pony tail and is short and she really needs to get her roots done. She and her assistant went down every single aisle. Jessica is cute but who is that assistant/girl and why is she wearing the ugliest horizontal striped dress ever??

· I spent Sunday evening(10/9) at the Hollywood Bowl taking in Rogers Waters performing the Pink Floyd classic "Dark Side Of The Moon." About four boxes behind me were Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn talking to Val Kilmer. Goldie and Iceman in the same box. What are the odds? Then a few boxes to the left was none other than Garry Shandling. He didn't look high. Shocker. Then directly in front of me was Tom Morello from Rage Against The Machine. How did he have better seats than Kurt and Goldie or me? Audioslave blows. Bring back Rage!

· Double sighting on Monday, 10/9. On the way to the Arclight for a screening of "Man of the Year," I passed by the Hollywood Palladium, which has been redressed to serve as the main theater for the tragically underperforming "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip." Across the street, they were setting up for an evening shoot; no stars visible but I did see Thomas Schlamme cutting it up with a crew member. Later, around 9:15 p.m., after getting out of the movie (not great, but pretty good, btw), I saw a white-blonde lady walking toward me with a younger man in a black suit by her side; upon second glance, I confirmed it was future Oscar winner Helen Mirren. They were having what looked to be a guild-sponsored screening of "The Queen" at the Arclight; I assumed Dame Helen was going there for a meet-and-greet following the movie. That may have explained the slightly pained look on her face, as if she was rushing for an appointment; still, she looked longer than her 61 (!) years - regal but still mellow. She so rocks.

· Sufjan Stevens concert at the Wiltern LG, October 9th

Danny DeVito - Someone shouted out "Danny Devito!" and someone else yelled "He's here!"
Kirsten Dunst
Toni Collette, leaving the theatre fast
Michael Cera (George Michael Bluth from Arrested Development) hanging out with fans, laughing

· I saw Kirsten Dunst at the Sufjan Stevens show at the Wiltern. It was amazing.

· 9:15am, Thurs, 10/15-Corner of Sunset and Fairfax, Elijah Wood walking east from The Coffee Bean with blended drink in hand. I, myself was walking to the pharmacy on the corner as he approached sporting black hair, black buggy sunglasses, black suit. What initially struck me was how Polly-Pocket small he is...and then I started to shudder thinking of his turn in Sin City. Little man is just creepy. He kept walking east down Sunset probably to eviscerate someone.

· September 26-Obscure sighting, ran into Johnny Galecki (Darlene's boyfriend David on Roseanne) mailing a letter on Sunset across the street from Sunset Plaza. He had on the "Please don't notice me" baseball hat / shades combo. I wouldn't have looked twice if not for the weird dye job. He's got terrible bleach-blonde hair for who the hell knows why. I only thought to mention because my 12 year old self thought he was such the art school rebel. Now, yeah...he was better on tv. Taller too.

· Just got back from Bed Bath and Beyond at the Beverly Center, where a tiny Olsen twin (which one has blonde hair now?) was loaded down with a cart full of bags. She checked out the same time as a friend and I, and we watched as a stack of cheap looking dishes were wrapped for her. A second sales associate was called to help her move the cart to her car. Apparently her brittle arms couldn't handle the weight of a full shopping cart. Wouldn't have noticed her, if not for the giant sunglasses covering her eyes (in the store, mind you), the spandex pants, weird looking tap shoes, and diamond on her finger as big as my arm. Seriously, the diamond was worth more than my life.

· Thursday 10/5.
Saw Sandra Oh getting in her prius outside of Luna Park around lunchtime. Sexy, that one.

...and I blocked this one cause he's a turd but saw Jeffrey "can I buy a chin" Sebelia of Project Runway fame on Glendale in SilverFake. He was driving a crappy Crown Vicky (cop car) and had a woman and two kids in tow. Hopefully he isn't breeding. Not that he was going to win with his constant 80's rocker rehash but he would've had a better car if he did. They win one right? This was on Sat 10/30

· friday, 06 oct - the NINE's dreamy jeremy kates (played by *scott wolf*), having an early lunch at jumpin' java in studio city with a STUNNING blonde (i believe it was his wife, former mtv: real world cast member kelley limp). he's not as big as i thought he'd be, but they were both real pretty.

Quite a Sunday for celeb seeing in Hollywood.

· 10-8 I hardly have an item of mention but I figure I have an obligation to all three of those who may care (that includes me!).

Saw Zach Braff at Greenblatt's Deli on Sunset. On his phone at the deli counter (something to the effect of "did you tell her that I was going to fly her out?").

Looked like he just worked out/woke up, did some stretching move and pulled up his t-shirt to expose a taught indie-belly. Bailed and got into a Toyota Tundra. Serious cred...

· Sunday October 8th

Wes Bentley and Carson Daly (separately) watching NFL at Hollywood Billiards Sunday afternoon.

Later Sunday night I saw Geoffrey Rush and Corey Haim (again separately) taking in Roger Waters at The Hollywood Bowl.

Corey looked very healthy and normal with his beautiful wife, while Geoffrey looked bitter and confused.

· Mischa Barton at the Malibu inn to see Fishbone.
Her: Actually very pretty.
Her Boyfriend: very, very ugly.
wtf?

· Totally banner weekend of celeb sightings. Saturday night I went to see comedy readings at M Bar (not as painful as it sounds) and JERRY STILLER and ANN MEARA were there! I guess maybe a friend was doing one of the readings? I couldn't help but to think of (and involuntarily chuckle at) the "Man Bro" episode of SEINFELD. That's pretty much one of my faves. But after the show, the best part happened - Ann Meara spoke to me! She literally just came up, but her arm around my waist, and butt into our conversation! My friend actually chatted her up for a few minutes about writing. Ann seems like she may have had a few too many but so did I so who am I to judge? Then on Sunday in the parking lot of Sav On (or is it Rite Aid?) on Larchmont, I saw PETER DINKLAGE! He was driving, which is pretty cool (I suppose he has those special handles that press the gas and brakes)...a very small car. Love the irony. Some Toyota or something. Nothing fancy. I called my boyfriend in a tizzy. I LOVE Peter Dinklage, I think he's so hot. I told my boyfriend that I might dump him if Peter would give me the time of day. Alas, he drove on by...

· Sighting- ricky bobby's hot wife, carley (leslie bibb) a bloomingdales in sherman oaks. Hot, blonde, tall and not all emaciated.

· Saw Chris Robinson (Kate Hudson's husband/ex) speeding west on Sunset (through Brentwood) in his black Dodge Ram (decorated with one, solo Grateful Dead sticker). This was like at 8:00am. He looked like sh*t. Then again, he usually does.

· Slash and Stockard Channing (but not together) at Hungry Cat last night (10/03).

· friday, oct. 6, The 'Ho. Whilst lunching at little hole in the wall, Mason Jar, my lunch mates and I sat next to Tootie's Bong holder, Charlotte Rae, aka. Mrs. Edna Garrett and her lunch mate. She was super sweet and chatted with us about the restaurant (seriously, it's a great place). She even offered us some of her salad. I didn't mention the bong episode or if they were ever going to expose Jo as a carpet muncher. She did talk with her mouth full and was kinda surly when we gave her directions, but it was kinda cool to know she's still alive.

· Reporting this a bit late, but on 9/29 saw MICHAEL BOLTON lunching at the Belvedere restaurant at the Peninsula. He's rapidly aging into quite a JAMES CAAN look.

· Saturday night at the Bounty Bar on Wilshire, I saw the guy from Lost who plays Henry Gale (Michael Emerson) holding court, possibly having a book club meeting of his own. Also spotted was veteran character actor Keith David. I don't think either was with the Korean girl in a wedding dress.

· 10/4 at Madeo's - Saw Paris Latsis and was embarrassed that I recognized him immediately (that US Weekly subscription is truly rotting my brain). This alone in my book would not be worthy of a privacy watch sighting, but Stavros Niarchos walked in 5 minutes after Boy Paris left. I was waiting for Travis Barker and hoping maybe to witness Round 2 of Moakler vs. Hilton, but no such luck. I did see Fabio, though.

· Around 9 am today (10/10) I was on Larchmont getting a Starbucks when I noticed a blonde lady walking a huge, slobbery white dogs. I love dogs so I almost missed the fact that his human companion was JUDY GREER. I love her! She was fantastic on ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Oh, poor ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, RIP. Anyway, Judy had no make on, dressed down, you know, walkin' the dog. Looked totally normal. She must live close by to Larchmont, I saw her there once before in the Mailboxes Etc. store.

· On my flight today (Monday, 10/9) from Vegas to Burbank:

- Kevin Richardson (late of the Backstreet Boys) and his pretty wife - she was sitting on the floor reading a tabloid, he was making phone calls and looking busy;

- Mike "Boogie" Malin, "winner" of Big Brother All-Stars, with some male friends (one of whom bore a striking resemblance to K-Fed, but alas - no such luck!) He was wearing a t-shirt pimping one of his Hollywood restaurants (Les Deux) and looks like even more of a troll-doll in person than on TV.

· Last Saturday my husband and I went to Nick's Cafe on Pico. Upon entering and I immediately recognized a gentleman facing the door in a booth with funky L.A. Eyewear-style glasses on but could not place him. We sat at the counter where he was right behind us. When I heard his accent I realized who it was Scottish actor/comedian Billy Connolly having breakfast with some unknown guy. My husband leaned to me and asked, "Why is his hair so yellow? Does he smoke a lot?"

· Saw Jeffrey Jones at the WeHo Trader Joes. Much taller and fatter than I would have guessed. But, I was there with my young son, so I just got the hell out as quickly as I could

· Seen at the Grand Ave Festival (10/7): John deLancie (Q) of Star Trek: the Next Generation Fame, wearing what looked like a robe stolen from a Lord of the Rings set.

We sat in front of Keanu Reeves for a screening of The Departed, on 10/6 at the Mann Village in Westwood. He was with a very talkative lady (not the same one he was with when he was spotted at Il Sole a few weeks back) who could not shut the hell up through the movie. Considering the field in which Mr. Reeves makes his living, it was strange to us that he could abide by the behavior. He stayed pretty silent throughout the film except for one key moment in the film when he made a snarky comment about Jack Nicholson's acting choices. That's right, Keanu Reeves is our generation's Lee Strassberg. Whoa.

While they considerately avoided identifying the key moment so as not to spoil any surprises, we're almost certain the scene in question was the infamous strap-on dildo scene, which, while it did make the final cut, was hardly the kind of buzzworthy latex-sex-toy performance that is remembered come awards season. Reeves must have noticed the over-the-top, scenery-chewing manner with which Jack dangled the molded appendage in co-star Damon's face, thus causing him to involuntarily blurt out, "Nicholson forgets that acting is reacting. I could have won that big, black cock an Oscar!"

• an infernal movie date [JohnnyHongKong Says...]
• Previously: Jack Nicholson's Strap-On To Take Next Step In Its Promising Career [Defamer]

Scorsese ended up whacking the prosthesis from the hooker scene. But it survives in an episode where Nicholson flashes Matt Damon's character in an adult theater.

What's more, Nicholson told us, "I'm planning to market a line of them on the Internet - in Day-Glo colors!"

We asked if he might call it the "Jack Nicholson Signature Model," sort of like Jack Nicklaus' golf clubs.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that," he said.

This is Hollywood, after all, so don't be surprised if the strap-on's agent convinces it to unsentimentally sever ties with the legend and seek out a younger partner. "Nicholson's an old man!" new rep Ari Emanuel of Endeavor will whisper. "Let's get you hooked up to someone hotter and edgier. With one phone call I can get you attached to Sacha Baron Cohen. By the end of Borat 2, all anyone will be talking about is how you stole every scene from the foreigner with the funny mustache."

• The tools of Nicholson's trade [Rush and Molloy]
• Previously: Jack Nicholson's Strap-On Ready For Its Close-Up [Defamer]