Stars Choose Sides as SAG Strike Apocalypse Descends

Everywhere we've been around the LA Film Festival this week, the chatter du jour is either oversexed studio minions or how folks plan to spend their off-days during the increasingly inevitable-looking SAG strike. The latter conflict came into even sharper relief today in Variety, which published a SAG-AFTRA Bullshit Scorecard (hardly an improvement over our SAG Strike Mad Libs™, but whatever) breaking down the lies, celebrity endorsees and various other spin the unions are wielding in their steel-cage labor war:

As SAG begins its 38th day of negotiations with the majors today, the pro-AFTRA forces have added Alec Baldwin and Kevin Spacey to their list of several hundred endorsers, led by Tom Hanks and Sally Field. ...

That Can't Possibly Be Lara Flynn Boyle, Can It?

After seeing these photos of Lara Flynn Boyle signing autographs at Mr. Chow last night, we're honestly wondering whether or not those fans even knew whose John Hancock they were requesting. Boyle, mostly remembered either for her crazy skin-and-bones years while dating Jack Nicholson or that flouncy ballerina dress she wore to the 2003 Oscars, is now under suspicion by the weeklies of going under one (or seven) wild surgery procedures. And while our before-and-after photos after the jump make their assertion difficult to protest, we're also wondering if this new look has anything to do with a little film she just completed called Life Is Hot In Cracktown.

Meet The Two Minds Behind That Creepy Jack Nicholson Spot For Team Hillary

If you haven't yet seen the bizarre Jack Nicholson ad for the Hillary campaign, well, feast your eyes on the video above, sure to be studied as the ultimate example of celebrity endorsements gone wrong by generations of poli-sci majors enrolled in "Hillary '08: Sketches In Failure." In it, a variety of trademark Nicholson psychopaths mumble vaguely pro-Clinton lines of out-of-context dialogue. (Good thing, too, as the line pulled from A Few Good Men, Gawker point out, is followed by the very un-presidential rumination, "Promote 'em all, I say, 'cause this is true: if you haven't gotten a blowjob from a superior officer, well, you're just letting the best in life pass you by.")

Jack Nicholson Admits That His Golden Starlet-Nailing Era May Be Drawing To A Close

Talking to AARP The Magazine (the #2 periodical for readers over 65, after Kirk Douglas's Senior Moments), veteran Hollywood horndog Jack Nicholson conceded he may, at the ripe age of 70, have begun to slow down in his legendary panty-chasing ways:

"I can't hit on a girl in public like I used to," he says. "I never thought words like 'undignified' would come into my own reflections on myself, but I can't do it anymore."

Jack Nicholson Admits To Have Spreading Himself A Little Thin

It's often in this relative slow-news stretch before the holidays that some of the most astonishing celebrity revelations come to light: Perhaps, with New Year's resolutions right around the corner, they feel the time is right to relieve themselves of something weighing heavily upon their conscience, such as, say, the 9000 illegitimate children they've roughly calculated to have sired throughout their four-decade reign atop Hollywood's Perennial Bachelor Mountain.

Jake Gyllenhaal And Reese Witherspoon Comfort Each Other Before Flight To Burbank

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Jeff Garlin at an "Up With Kirk!" rally.

In today's episode: Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon; Jack Nicholson and Ice Cube; Hayden Christensen; Dax Shepard; Richard Edson; Pierce Brosnan; Lindsay Lohan; Bill Nighy and Alicia Silverstone; Beau Bridges; Sandra Oh; Marcia Cross; Hayden Panettiere; Jeff Garlin; Anton Yelchin; Ashley Tisdale; Dean Cameron; and Dave Annable.

Artist Celebrates The Imagined Moments Of Their Celebrity Lives

Elevating the fun of celebrity lookalikes to the level of coffee-table art, photographer Alison Jackson poses the rent-a-doppelgängers in a wide variety of scandalous and humiliating poses in her book Confidential (examples include "Brad Pitt shaving Angelina Jolie's legs; a jailed Paris Hilton paying another inmate to scrub her toilet bowl; and a masked Michael Jackson putting lipstick on a crying baby," reports Page Six). We particularly enjoyed the above image, pulled from the book's website, imagining Jack Nicholson taking full advantage of his Hurricane Harbor family pass. It's just the sunny, festive tonic we all could use during these cold days and nights of placard-wielding strife. The uncensored picture can be found at Taschen.com.

• FAKE CELEBS, REAL POSSIBILITIES [Page Six]
• Alison Jackson [Taschen]

Jack Heads North

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Sarah Connor at a 7-11.

In today's episode: Jack Nicholson; Patrick Swayze and Heath Ledger; Jake Gyllenhaal; Keanu Reeves; Halle Berry; Paul Rudd; Thomas Haden Church; Helen Hunt; Linda Hamilton; Jemaine Clement; Michelle Rodriguez; Eric Dane; Hanson and Frankie Muniz; Dylan McDermott; Dita Von Teese and Ashley Hamilton; Wood Harris and Gloria Alred.

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On Miss Golden Globe Day, Nicholson's Daughter Rewarded For Being Suitably Attractive Product Of Her Father's Famous Loins

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