Gay Austrian In Sherman Oaks Looks Suspiciously Like Sacha Baron Cohen

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about how the sound of Mickey Rourke's loud snoring prevented you from getting any work done at the Santa Monica Public Library.

In today's episode: Sacha Baron Cohen; Adam Sandler and Richard Dreyfuss; Drew Barrymore; Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, Omar Epps, and Arye Gross; Hayden Christensen; Jason Schwartzman; Chad Faust; Kirstie Alley; Howie Mandel; Nick Nolte; Mickey Rourke; Heidi Klum and Kathleen Robertson; Dylan McDermott; Lauren Graham; Justin Long; Rob Corddry; Christopher Mintz-Plasse; David Boreanaz; Emily Deschanel and Zachary Quinto; Nicky Hilton, David and Jeff Katzenberg; Christopher Mintz-Plasse; Danny Bonaduce; Brooke White; Monty Hall and Gary Owens.

'The Insider' Sends Undercover Reporter Deep Into The Dangerous World Of 'Deal Or No Deal' Briefcase Models

An appalling four months after the brave Deal Or No Deal model-slave known only as Briefcase Number Two took to basic cable to expose the show's inhumane working conditions (particularly chilling was Two's showcasing of the scars Howie Mandel inflicted with a cat o' nine tails for her unacceptable fumbling with a lock on her assigned Zero Halliburton during a crucial moment), the mainstream media has decided to finally take up the mistreated mannequins' cause.

Ellen DeGeneres To Put 'Deal' Models In Sensible Lesbianwear

Ellen DeGeneres promises to liven up the Deal or No Deal proceedings when she makes a guest appearance on the hit NBC game show. But unlike past guests, like Donald "The Banker" Trump and Celine "Open Da Case!" Dion, the canine-regifter will join the show's Pyramid of Hot Briefcasemodels. TVGuide.com reports:

That's right: DeGeneres will be one of the 26 briefcase-toting, elegant, sparkly dress-wearing women who may or may not be holding the million-dollar bag.

As if the grief of this week weren't already about to swallow our heavy hearts whole, People rocks our world by demolishing our last shred of hope that good might eventually triumph. Charlize Theron, who so courageously uglied herself up to win an Oscar, is now reportedly locked in the jaws of an even more terrible monster: Howie Mandel. A poisonous, soul-destroying addiction to the Deal or no Deal video game has reduced Theron to hiding in her trailer, feverishly playing with faux-Howie, waving off director Paul Haggis's questions about a scene, and wantonly ignoring his unwelcome pleas for her to take the money and run.