honest to blog
Having flirted with dangerous levels of underexposure since winning her Best Screenplay Oscar a little over a month ago, Diablo Cody is back with a double-barreled blast of creative miracles. First up, The Hollywood Reporter notes that Cody's long-rumored comedy series The United States of Tara — starring Toni Collette as the title character afflicted with multiple personalities — is nearing a full-season order from Showtime. We can handle this without much difficulty — and by "handle" we mean "believe," because the second project has the calendar-conscious skeptic in us praying for an April Fool's Day revelation:
"Juno B-Sides: Almost Adopted Songs," a 15-track collection boasting a ditty performed by star Ellen Page, will debut exclusively through iTunes for a suggested list price of $9.99 on April 8, distributor Rhino Records said. Page performs 'Zub Zub,' a song written by the film's Oscar-winning screenwriter, Diablo Cody, for a scene that was eventually cut for time. Page's character bemoans her fate with such lines as "he filled me with baby batter, then we ate some orange tic tacs after."
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honest to blog
When Ellen Page strutted onto the stage of Studio 8H to deliver her monologue on this week's episode of SNL dressed like one of the Sweathogs, we didn't pay it much mind. With the benefit of hindsight (and after having seen this skit), maybe our eyebrows should have risen ever so slightly. But, at the time, we were too busy enjoying Andy Samberg's impression of Diablo Cody to wonder about the Ellen Page Sexuality Sweepstakes. While all you bloggers and froggers out there will likely concur that his Diablo didn't quite reach the level of the Diablo impersonator in the Funny Or Die video, we did love the calvacade of blog references that he managed to mix into his impression. The video, along with a complete list of all of the blog-related catchphrases in the making follows after the jump:
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pole position
As the bra-burning women's rights activists etched into our heads, being a feminist means having a choice: you can either choose to bake pies alongside June Cleaver, or you can choose to spray whip cream on your tits and shake your moneymaker in front of salivating men. But whichever path you choose to trek, you can always win an Oscar! Just like Diablo Cody (the artist formerly known as Brook Busey-Hunt, aka Candy Girl)! As you might expect, Diablo's triumph is proving to be an inspiration for aspiring pole dancers everywhere. As one stripper wrote on her blog, "I can't tell you how excited I am by [Cody] being shot out of the fame cannon and into the dazzling sky." Us too! But just in case Diablo's win wasn't enough to inspire these lacy ladies to put away their chaps for good, just wait til they read Cody's MySpace response to Tuesday's nudie pic revelations:
"I personally put my vag out there with pride, ladies and gents. And you bet your ass I'd do it again if the Beef Council would cough up the proper endorsement money."
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diablo cody
It's quite the week of firsts for
Diablo Cody. She won her first Oscar, she became
embroiled in her first red carpet scandal and now, the
first nude pictures of her have hit The Internets. Probably not surprising, considering her famed and well-marketed history as a stripper turned blogger turned screenwriter. A few of the more SFW pics, including her faithful recreation of Ali Larter's whipped cream bikini shot from
Varsity Blues (somewhere, a
Vanity Fair photog is kicking himself for not thinking of this idea first), appear after the jump.
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oscars
Was Oscar Winner™
Diablo Cody just being an indie snob when she
chose not to sport those infamous million dollar shoes or is she beyond cool for refusing to act as some designer's publicity stunt? After reading her MySpace message in response to
designer Stuart Weitzman's offering, we're inclined to go with the latter. Plus, silver shoes decked out in diamonds worth more than
her tacky dress would be overkill even for Miss Busey-Hunt. As she put it:
"I must have somehow missed the part where my shoes cost a MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS and my 'choice' of footwear would be publicized nationwide. I honestly thought they were just sparkly shoes. Mr. Weitzman did mention that the diamonds were real when I tried them on, but I'm not Nancy Rockman, Expert Gemologist."
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While it remains to be seen whether or not
Diablo Cody will be joining the likes of Cameron Crowe and Woody Allen on the list of Oscar-winning writers, one thing is certain: she'll be
wearing Million Dollar Shoes to the Academy Awards on Sunday. Tacky tastemaker
Stuart Weitzman's infamous Kwiat diamond-encrusted shoes will adorn the
Juno scriptess's feet as she walks the carpet. We are proud to report that this news marks Brook's official jump from Former Stripper to Rental Footwear Prostitute. [
SF Gate]
honest to blog
Hipsters can complain about it all they want, but America has fully embraced the Junoverse. Not only is it the most popular of this year's Best Picture nominees (
$125 million and counting), it also has an excellent chance of pulling off a
Crash-style upset come Sunday. While we seemingly hear the phrase "it's the closest Oscar race in years" each and every awards season, this year it might actually be true. No one movie stands out as a frontrunner.
No Country For Old Men is confusing,
There Will Be Blood is looooong and grim, 6 people saw
Michael Clayton and
Atonement feels like an afterthought. That leaves
Juno. Just because you sit in your little Silverlake apartment hating on all that overwritten dialogue doesn't mean the rest of the country didn't find it utterly charming.
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honest to blog
Although we did recently declare a temporary moratorium on burger phone jokes, it is worth noting that a blogger who goes by the handle of Big Ross recently got his hands on a copy of Diablo Cody's first post-Juno script, entitled Jennifer's Body. Megan Fox (Transformers) and director Karyn Kusama (Aeon Flux) are attached to the horror/thriller about a cheerleader who somehow becomes possessed by a demonic spirt which compels her to start offing all of the dudes at her high school. And while we haven't actually seen the script ourselves, from what Big Ross describes, we feel pretty safe declaring that Diablo's streak of consecutive Oscar nominations will come to an end at one.
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Although
Juno's biggest B.O. weekends appear to be in the rearview mirror, that doesn't mean that America's appetite for all things
Juno has fully subsided. In addition to the soundtrack's strong performance (currently
#2 on the Billboard charts), there appears to be overwhelming demand on the black markets for
Hamburger Phones! Or, rather, overwhelming supply. There are currently
over 50 listings on eBay for hamburger phones, some of which utilize a hand-crafted MS Paint montage that includes Diablo "Call Me Brook" Cody's
now-famous shot of her talking on her very own Hamburger Phone. With that in mind, we're using all of the money in the Defamer piggy bank to corner the market on orange Tic-Tacs. You know, just in case the
Juno ancillary markets continue to grow. [
Pop Candy]
"I heard that films are structured around the male orgasm, the way they climax. Though, if it were modeled on the male orgasm, it would just immediately cut to black." — Hamburger Phone enthusiast turned stripper turned blogger turned screenwriter turned Oscar Nominee turned aspiring standup comedienne
Diablo Cody, from an interview with the
Times Of London [
Page Six]
honest to blog
In the
second entry of her new(ish)
Binge Thinking column for
Entertainment Weekly,
Diablo Cody wisely decides not to use the column space to discuss how homeskillets really need to shut their gobs when using burger phones to discuss doodles that can't be undid. Rather, she (perhaps
unwisely) decided to fall back on a tried and true journalistic crutch for churning out a piece without actually having to formulate that strong of an opinion on something ... she makes a list! Sort of. Her innovatively (
or not) titled thesis, "Heroine Chic", revolves around "killer onscreen heroines who weren't too cool to care about their hair, complexion, or wardrobe." Like Andie from
Pretty In Pink and Uncle Jesse from
Full House. Yeah, we're kind of lost, too.
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Defamer
So many doodles that can't be undid
