In today's installment: Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, Kiefer Sutherland, Jay Leno, Goldie Hawn (with Oliver Hudson), Adam Brody, Cheryl Hines, Ali Landry, Davy Jones (singing karaoke, no less!), Casey Affleck, Traci Lords, Marlee Matlin, Dog The Bounty Hunter, Chris O'Donnell, Adam Carolla, Romany Malco, Scott Caan, Dee Snider, Ms. Jay, Robert Culp and more!

SUNDAY, APRIL 20
· Saw Jay Leno getting out of his ride at the Comedy & Magic Club in Hermosa Beach before his weekly appearance there every Sunday evening. Practically side-swiped the driver next to me while gawking at Jay's car. Didn't get the make and model but I can confirm that it looked very silver, very fast and very expensive.

FRIDAY, APRIL 25
· Spotted Marlee Matlin and her Dancing With the Stars partner (?) at the valet at Forever 21. Can't figure why they were there together as I heard they were voted off the show earlier in the week. Don't ask how I know that. Anyway, she is tiny and he..... not so tall. She drove them away in a huge gas quaffing SUV.
· Yesterday saw John Ennis (Mr. Show and Walk Hard) at the Nature Mart in Los Feliz.
· Saw Perry from Make Me A Supermodel at Vons at Sunset/Virgil @ 7pm. Tall, thin, wearing a wifebeater and looking FINE. With some dressed down chick, not sure if it was his gf. She manned the cart of course, Perry was too busy struttin'.
· I saw Dog the Bounty Hunter (and wife) 4am Friday at LAX. Dog was wearing an American Flag windbreaker.

SATURDAY, APRIL 26
· I had dinner at El Compadre tonight, where I waited for our table next to Ms. Jay from ANTM. Then, I went with some friends to the Sly & the Family Stone concert at the House of Blues. We found a good spot near the stage, and I turned around to see Daryl Hannah. She was with a younger couple, and really beautiful - laid back - in person. She was sporting a Marvin Gaye T-shirt and a belt made out of the pop-tops from soda cans...
· First, on Continental #65 from Newark to LAX on Saturday, Cheryl Hines was in first class. Very hot and very tiny in person, also very polite and low-key. She even walked to the parking garage with the car service driver from baggage claim.
· Was hanging out at my favorite Saturday night spot, Britannia Pub in Santa Monica, for karaoke (technically, Starraoke™) when we got word that none other than our childhood hero, Davy Jones, was at a table in the back. (Attention youngsters, I'm talking about the singer from The Monkees, not the character from Pirates of the Caribbean.) A quick trip to the ladies' room confirmed it, so one of my friends signed up for "Daydream Believer" in his honor. No more than a bar of music went by when Davy came bounding up from the back room, grabbed my friend and the mike and proceeded to perform the whole song with her, with the whole bar singing along (when they weren't snapping pics with their cameraphones). Mark it down as one of my favorite LA moments so far.

SUNDAY, APRIL 27
· Then, Sunday afternoon at the Hollywood Farmer's Market, bumped into Casey Affleck quickly making his way out of the crowd of hipsters. A couple hours later, saw Jonathan Togo (CSI Miami) at the WeHo Whole Foods, also moving through the store very quickly.
· While attending the Indian Film festival at the Arclight, I sat about three seats away from Nancy Kwan, who only looked about ten years older then she did in The World of Suzy Wong. On the way home I saw Robert Culp (I Spy) buying bananas. He's ambulatory and buying produce on his own at 10pm on a Sunday, which is pretty good for pushing 80.

MONDAY, APRIL 28
· Last night after the She & Him show (awesome!) at the Vista — Adam Brody having Amstel Lights at the Good Luck Bar, with a mystery blond that kinda looked like Arielle Kebbel, but I don't think it was her and shouldn't start rumors... or did I just do that?

TUESDAY, APRIL 29
· I spotted Chris O'Donnell by a Delta baggagae carousel at LAX. Navy blazer/jeans. Very preppy. Flew in from Atlanta. Such potential that one...
· Today was the highlight of my week, no make that my month. Saw Kiefer on Ventura Blvd/Balboa coming out of CHILI MY SOUL. He was clearly in great mood. He posed for pics with a couple of heavy set gals...one even got him to say damm it in to her cell phone. The Kiefer looked awesome, very skinny! Tennis shoes, jeans and blue t-shirt. He left with a pretty brunette who was dressed in of all things blue scrubs. DAMM IT my cell was in the car!
· I went to the Fox Hills Mall in Culver City yesterday for lunch and was blocked from using the newly reopened escalator by JC Penny by a PA with a serious God complex. The escalator was only for actors who were shooting on location. Well, it turns out the actors were Steve Agee (from The Sarah Silverman Program) and Adam Carolla. Carolla was sporting a huge fake Amish beard, Agee looked exactly the same as he does on Sarah Silverman.

THURSDAY, MAY 1
· Was having dinner at Mi Piace in Pasadena on Thursday evening when the crowd parted and I beheld Jerry Springer. How's that for a weird one? He sat with his back to the window on Colorado and ate alone quite peacefully. No chairs were thrown.

FRIDAY, MAY 2
· Near-fatal Goldie Hawn sighting. Driving up to my cousin's place in Pacific Palisades, saw a large group of seeming-hippies communing in the middle of the street. One of them appeared to be holding a baby up in the air, sort of bizarrely baptismal. Get closer, baby-holder is Goldie, hot son Oliver Hudson is next to her, and I think the baby in question is Oliver's. As I drive by, Goldie gives me a big smile and waves hello.

SATURDAY, MAY 3
· Saturday night I saw Romany Malco (Weeds / Baby Mama) with a cute lady friend playing cards at Stir Crazy coffee shop on Melrose.
· In front of Larchmont Wine & Cheese, I spotted a squat Scott Caan — first spotted because he was wearing that hat — was sitting with his dog and a group of dudes that looked as you would expect a bunch of dudes eating with Scott Caan to look. as it goes with these kinds of things, he was shorter than expected.


Later on in the afternoon, was driving down melrose when I see a family crossing the street, complete with an olderish blonde with oversized breasts. My first thought was, "her husband must be a real d-bag." I scan the rest of the family until I see Dee Snider. I immediately feel bad for assuming he would be a d-bag [Ed. Note - Why? I think you hit the nail on the head.] and continue driving, hoping he hadn't heard my inner monologue.

· While trying to see Iron Man at Century City, I see Titan from American Gladiators, who stands about 7 feet tall (plastic coif included) and 3 feet wide.
· During another interminable wait for food at the Griddle Cafe, i see Jim Parsons from the CBS show Big Bang Theory. He had to wait for a table, just like the rest of us civilians, unlike...
Jessica Alba, who walks right in and sits at a booth. Didn't see her body but her face definitely looks fuller. Still looked good. Cash Warren walked in a little later and was appropriately unassuming.

SUNDAY, MAY 4
· Dorito Girl Ali Landry at the Alcove on Hillhurst for a late lunch. With her cute Mexican director husband and adorable baby girl. She's amazingly gorgeous in person, throwing Doritos into washers or whatever it was she did in those commercials did not do her justice.
· Traci Lords at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market this morning, with a friend and adorable baby. Looked very happy and healthy. I had to suppress the urge to say hello and tell her how awesome I think she is.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 7
· Walked by Adam Goldberg on Little Santa Monica on Wednesday around lunch time. He was by himself waiting to cross the street. I always thought he was maybe cute but didn't get confirmation until I was standing
right next to him. He was looking cuddle worthy in a black hoody, dark jeans and cool espadrille type Vans.
· I saw Clea Duvall and Zach Quinto at Brently Heilbron's show at Tangier tonight.

THURSDAY, MAY 8
· Spotted a couple celebs in Beverly Hills on Thursday afternoon. Kathy Hilton and not surprisingly
very happy looking Stan Lee were strolling past Jack 'n Jill's. Don't worry, they were not together.

In today's installment: Alec Baldwin, Miley Cyrus, Seth Rogen, David Spade, Amanda Bynes, Ellen Page, Lawrence Fishburne, Anthony Kiedis, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Mena Suvari, Michael C. Hall, Marilu Henner, Holly Marie Combs, Tempestt Bledsoe, Clea Duvall, Heidi Fleiss and both Rancics, Giuliana and Bill.

APRIL 13
· Just saw Seth Rogen at the Whole Foods at Fairfax and Santa Monica. He was being toted around by his quite attractive yet non-actress brunette girlfriend. She obviously wears the pants so to speak. Seth looked like he normally does; schlubby and definitely not light on his feet.

APRIL 15
· RFD is sort of like shooting vegans in a barrel, but this was too good to pass up. Tuesday, 4/15, there was a near-miss "American Pie" reunion when the kid who played Finch (imdb says, eddie kaye thomas; now appearing on the delightful "til death") left just before Mena Suvari arrived: tramp-stamped, be-wifebeatered, braless. Adjourned to the bathroom for several minutes, came out snuffling and nose-wiping. Hope nobody told her that these days they cut llallo with ground kitten bones.

APRIL 17
· Sid-ibum-Bid-ibum-Do-Me-Til-I'm-Well-Done...Anthony Keidis, looking very tan, well-groomed and happy leaving Blue Plate on Montana with his tall young bride.

APRIL 18
· I went to the 11:10pm screening of Forgetting Sarah Marshall at the Cinerama Dome and who was there but Amanda fucking Bynes! She was wearing black short shorts, gold high heels, and looked a little too young for me to be attracted to her without it being creepy. Amanda seemed to enjoy the movie though, and when she exited the theater she was being followed by an enterprising paparazzo with a video camera.
· GULAGER ALERT! Saw Clu Gulager trying to cross Fountain Ave on Friday, April 18th. Normally I try to hit people that don't use a crosswalk, but the Gulag can walk wherever he damn well pleases.

APRIL 19
· After a few weeks without a celebrity sighting to report, I can happily add not one, but TWO sightings to my favorite Defamer feature! Yesterday (4/19), my friend (who hears 4 times a day that talks just like Juno) and I were at the Hollywood Farmer's Market, when who should walk by but Ellen Page. I saw a lot of greens coming out of her giant reusable bag (could have been lettuce or the tops of carrots). And she wasn't wearing any sunglasses either, unlike Marilu Henner, who was with a hoarde of kids (maybe she was doing a scavenger hunt like Teri Hatcher). Props to Ellen for keeping it real and for helping to save the environment (she says as she goes back to the 90s).
· We saw Alec Baldwin tonight walking by himself through the food court at the Woodland Hills Promenade Mall. He was wearing blue shorts and workout jacket, seemingly oblivious to the crowd around him. He went up to the AMC theater ticket window and seemed to be grilling the cashier about something. We left and came back 10-15 minutes later and he was still there, but this time with another man I didn't recognize. That's the last we saw of him as we headed out to our car.
· Saw Miley Cyrus in the Barnes and Noble at The Grove around 11:15am holding a book called Puddlejumpers and looking at other books in the kids section. She had on giant dark glasses, but nothing else about her was incognito. She went directly to the check-out when a couple of 8-year-olds recognized her. Yeah, a superstar in the kids book section. Wild.

APRIL 20
· Yesterday, while at Swinger's cafe, Michael C. Hall (Dexter / Six Feet Under) and Jennifer Carpenter (Dexter) came to have a post-work out lunch after sweatin' it at Easton's gym across the street. Justin Kirk (Weeds) was also brunchin' it. After my delicious Swinger's lunch I headed over to Target where I saw my favorite funny lady, Ashley Jensen (Extras / Ugly Betty). I really love her! So cute in person too!
· Scariest celeb sighting: Suge Knight was on my flight to Vegas on Saturday afternoon. I guess he's fallen on hard times if he's flying Southwest but his diamonds would say otherwise.
· At the Hollywood Farmers' Market around 11 a.m., Zooey Deschanel was looking very happy (and great looking, without makeup). Her glow might have had something to do with the rave review that the NY Times gave her singing sidebar She and Him.

APRIL 21
· I was at Granville's in Burbank for my buddy's birthday[Happy Birthday Chris!]. We were all hanging out and laughing when someone realized that the girl sitting next to our table was no other than Tempestt Bledsoe a/k/a Vanessa Huxtable. She was having a quiet dinner with a girlfriend. We decided not to bother them but you know The Cosby Show was the show that I associate all these fond memories so my friend and I eventually approached them for a photo [after most of our group had gone home]. Tempestt was very gracious but declined taking a picture because she wasn't in the frame of mind. We accepted that and told her it was a pleasure meeting them. I was a little bit disappointed but my life is complete! I met Vanessa...now if I can met Rudy, life will be just sweet!
· Saw Holly Marie Combs of Charmed fame at Disneyland. Was with son, nanny type, and husband(?) She looked gorgeous, very natural looking without make up, sat on the tram with the rest of us common folk.
· Was at Koi last night, taking the parents (who are visiting from Georgia and were hoping to spot a star) out for dinner. Our party of six, which included my seven-year-old niece, was seated in the table adjacent to David Spade. He was dressed in t-shirt and a huge army green trench and trucker hat, speaking loudly enough to be heard for several tables. If that's not obnoxious enough, he dropped the "F-bomb" several times... fortunately it went right over my niece's head, but we did move her to the other side of the table so she was no longer back-to-back with Potty Mouth. He was with three male friends and kept talking about his career and how "I don't want to spend more than $3,000," presumably on dinner, but who knows. In fairness, he did say "Excuse me," and step aside allow my girlfriend to pass him on her way to the restroom, so maybe he's a gentleman every now and then. The evening left me even further confused about how he landed Heather Locklear, though...

APRIL 23
· Apparently Ventura and Sepulveda is the Beverly and Melrose of C-listers. Two days ago I saw Lawrence
Fishburne at said intersection, dressed in a plaid button down shirt, aviators and ill-fitting jeans. He
was alone and waiting to cross the street towards the Sherman Oaks Galleria. The next day I saw Stephen Root
(thanks IMDb), Mr. I-Believe-You-Have-My-Stapler of Office Space fame, going into the Marmalade Cafe not 1/2 a mile away.
· This one is for all my fellow gay girls out there. Spotted Clea Duvall and Leisha Hailey with two friends at the Tegan and Sara show at The Glass House in Pomona (ew). Two dykons walked right into the heart of a hotbed of lesbians! They were low key and adorable as all hell. Squee-age was kept to a minimum.
· I was having an early dinner (circumstances, not my age) at La Scala in Brentwood (the eggplant is to die for) and who should be in a wall booth facing the entire rest of the surprisingly busy restaurant, she in her giant while sunglasses, he under his giant bowler hat, but Ms. Paris Hilton and true love of the moment Benji Madden. No fanfare, no paparazzi, no idea why they would be having dinner at 5:30 in the afternoon (or perhaps it was lunch?), but drinks and actual food appeared to be consumed in a completely civilized manner, and the parting smile as she brushed against my shoulder on the way out will fuel my pathetic fantasy life for way too long.
· Lo and behold, who comes weaving and stumbling down Hollywood Blvd at 12:45 in the afternoon? None other than former madame Heidi Fleiss. She was decked out in all-white carrying a plastic bag. From a block away, I thought she was a drunk, homeless person. I felt like running to her father's office to demand an intervention.
· As I was pulling up into the parking lot of the Albertons at Hillhurst & Los Feliz at 6:45pm, I immediately noticed a woman exiting the store with huge blonde hair, tiny mini skirt and tight shirt. It's my first Angelyne sighting! Angelyne gets into a pink Corvette with personalized custom tags. Maybe I have low standards, but I thought she actually looked pretty hot for being 100 and I even had my glasses on. However, she must have a pound of make up on. Definitely a G.I.L.F. Oh, another thing. She looked like she didn't want to be bothered but why do you look like that when you are eldery and drive a pink corvette if you are trying to shun attention?

APRIL 24
· Giulianna and Bill Rancic jaywalked in front of my car on La Cienega. Looked like they were heading to Stone Fire Pizza Company. Though I am not sure how G's skinny legs hold her up, they looked cute together, holding hands as they crossed the street.
· Was at the Soup Plantation at the Beverly Connection on Thursday night and saw everyones favorite Goth Labrat, NCIS star Paulie Perrette. She looked really good and had a hairy bearded rocker guy in tow. I gotta learn to play guitar!

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

In today's installment: Russell Crowe, Drew Barrymore, Kiefer Sutherland, Teri Hatcher, Matthew Perry, Chris "Mr. Big" Noth, Chrissie Hynde, Jemaine "Flight Of The Conchords" Clement, Mindy Kaling, Samantha Mathis (with Keith Carradine!), Werner Herzog, Dax Shepard (with Bradley Cooper!), Cedric Yarbrough and Professor Cornell West.

APRIL 10
· Another Matthew Perry Trivia sighting at Barney's Beanery in Pasadena on Thursday. His team of 4, "Dos Dedos", only contained one dressed-up young lady this time, and most likely took first right in front of the antagonistically-named "Bing's Bingers". I say "most likely" because I left before they announced my losing score...

APRIL 11
· Standing in line with all the middle aged punkers at the X reunion show at the Henry Fonda Theatre was Chrissie Hynde...She looked great and didn't look like she's had any work done...couldn't believe she had to wait in line with the rest of us!

APRIL 12
· Drew Barrymore was at the Derby Dolls roller derby on Saturday night April 12th. Here is some photographic evidence.

· I was having lunch at Cafe '50's in Sherman Oaks around 1pm. I couldn't help but notice that every 10 minutes or so, a group of girls ages 7-12 (?) wearing colored bandanas (different colored than the last group, not different colored from each other) with an assigned parent or guardian would come in and have their photo taken by the jukebox (I heard one mother saying it was a scavenger hunt). After 2 or so waves of bandana-wearing tots, Teri Hatcher came in leading the Pink Bandana group. She wasn't wearing much makeup and politely asked for the someone to take the group's photo (that's a switch) by the jukebox. Then they were off, presumably to find 12 bottlecaps or some such that was next on the scavenger list.

APRIL 13
· Russell Crowe with his wife and boys strolling around the Century City mall on Sunday afternoon. They looked like every other family suffering from heat exhaustion.

· Mindy Kaling from The Office having a brunch at Joan's on Third. Met up with some (nonfamous) friends, looked cute and casual, drives an adorable Mini Cooper.

APRIL 14
· Samantha Mathis and Keith Carradine (don't think they were together but stranger pairings have happened in this town) at the Arclight on Monday night. I assume they were there for the special screening that little me wasn't invited to because I didn't see them at my screening of The Visitor. Just before the movie, as I was exiting the ladies room I passed Carradine entering the men's room undoing his pants several feet before the doorway. Note to guys: ick.

· Today at approx. 5:00 PM at the Starbucks in Dana Point, Chris Noth and his girlfriend walked into my Starbucks and ordered a drink. Chris ordered a Chai Tea Latte and his girlfriend had a chop chop pasta salad. They were not with the baby. His girlfriend seemed very very nice. She actually asked for a fork from me and I told her where they were but we were out so I went to the back to get some and brought back one to her and handed it to her and she said thank you and was very nice about it. However, Chris was sort of a dick. Not really a dick to me but a total dick to his girlfriend. Anyways, I thought this was a notable celebrity sighting..

APRIL 16
· could have sworn i saw Jack Bauer at Dan's Subs in the Valley. He even had the arm tats, looked great clean shaven ...he was not with the woman from ny. He had his arm wrapped around a different raven haven hair chic. Much more busty and shorter. at one point he called her Janet (or maybe Janice). He was very happy and relaxed.

· Today at the Koo Koo Roo on Wilshire I saw Cedric Yarbrough, Jonesie from Reno 911. He was hanging out by himself eating lunch listening to something on his earphones. I don't want to say anything bad about him being there or being lame or anything like that because I LOVE Reno 911 and my boyfriend doesn't, so there.

· Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords waiting to cross Los Feliz Boulevard at Hillhurst. Had to look twice because, although that block of the street is not so lousy with hipsters, Clement was blending in with his surroundings. Is he staying in one of the big-ass apartment buildings on the north side of Los Feliz?

APRIL 17
· Saw Werner Herzog at Hollywood Video on Westwood Blvd. ask the clerk if they had a used copy of 'Jungle 2 Jungle' on VHS. [Ed. Note - Really?]

APRIL 18
· Odd couple Dax Shepard & Bradley Cooper (Nip/Tuck, Wedding Crashers) at Katsuya in Studio City.

APRIL 19
· Toast on 3rd Street, today. Was putting my name on the host's list, when I saw an older man in a black suit out of the corner of my eye. I told my friend, "Huh, that orthodox dude looks like Cornell West." And It WAS Cornell West! He was having lunch with a more casually attired Tavis Smiley. The PBS whore in me was totally freaking out.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

In today's installment: Janice Dickinson, Quentin Tarantino, Ellen Page, Sarah Silverman, Jason Schwartzman, Scott Speedman, Gene Simmons, Kristen Bell, Rachel Zoe, Adam Levine, Mila Kunis, Seth Green, Stacy Keibler, Reggie Bush, Dave Holmes, Holland Taylor, Busta Rhymes, and Lil Wayne.

Tuesday, April 1
· Beverly Hills Post Office, Main Branch: Stacy Keibler in line ahead of me, and Holland Taylor in line just behind me. Both women were gorgeous in everyday makeup and neither seemed at all "above" standing in the ridiculously long line with the regular folks at the post office. I did notice that Ms. Taylor was sending a package to Martin Sheen; how adorable.

Friday, April 4
· 8000 Sunset, @ 9:30pm: Quentin Tarantino sits not inside the arthouse cinema but instead on the newly installed tacky "patio furniture" of the renovated plaza. Talks with a Lisa Loeb look-alike, but she has long black hair, and is not an actress type. They sit next to each other, but facing, on a park bench. Tarantino wears no hat, a black leather jacket, jeans, & black Asics soccer style low tops with white socks that I can see because of his awkward bench positioning. All I hear him say is a rat-a-tat-tat "Yeah, yeah, ..uh huh, of course" while jutting his chin out as Loeb-alike talks. Both hold paper coffee cups. The HQ for TMZ is in the same complex - I was hoping they would look out their window.

Saturday, April 5
· West Hollywood 7-11 on La Cienega and Holloway @ 5:50am: I ran into Busta Rhymes. He was riding shotgun in a red Cadillac CTX. (the 2 seater) His buddy bought a newspaper and he looked at a people magazine and contemplated buying batteries. I was buying Gatorade and coffee. I walked up to him and said "Bus a bus?" He did not respond for a second, I thought he might be talking to someone via Bluetooth. It was only him and I and the cashier. So I said "Busta of flipmode squad" He then turned toward me and laughed, said yes and gave me a bro's handshake then walked out.

Sunday, April 6
· Brewery Art Walk: Scott Speedman wandering about alone, looked confused, cute but much stockier in person than I would have expected. Still maintain Felicity should have ended up with Noel.

· Tampa International Airport @ 6pm: I had been to the NCAA Women's Final Four, aka Lesbian Super Bowl. I stopped to get a meal at TGI Fridays to help my hang over and lo and behold at the bar I see sex god (?) Gene Simmons! He was conspicuously leaning on the bar, facing out, scanning the restaurant. I couldn't get over his ridiculous hair.

Monday, April 7
· Hollywood And Highland: Treating some out-of-town relatives to the sight of other people's out-of-town relatives staring at the sidewalk, I took refuge at the Sephora. As weekend celeb sightings are rare, particularly at touristy places, I was a bit stunned to see Sarah Silverman browsing the skin care section. She looked just like she does on television, which is... or is not... a compliment.

· Beverly Center Chipotle @8pm: Reggie Bush. Short and stacked. Pretty sure the black on black Bentley in the fifteen minute parking was his. Unfortunately it can't compete with my '92 Subaru.

· Red Lion: Dave "I Wanna Be A VJ But for Some Reason Jesse Camp Won that Show but now he's working at a pet store or so I heard" Holmes was at Trivia Night (and even on the winning team). I don't know if they showed up especially for trivia or just happened to be there. He was with a group of about 12 completely average seeming people, including one guy that must have been his brother because they had the same vaguely smug but disarming look about them.

Tuesday, April 8
· Mani's on Fairfax @ 8pm: Saw Jason Schwartzman grabbing something to go from the bakery. Cute, short, almost as exciting as the delicious piece of cherry pie I was devouring mid-sighting.

· Graumann's Chinese Theater: I'm at Graumann's Chinese theater and I'm about 93% sure I am sitting behind Janice Dickinson. I have not seen her face, but she keeps yelling at the ads before the movie. Now I'm 100% sure. She keeps commenting loudly after every trailer. This was so worth the 11.50 per ticket. When she walked out of the theater she said "yawn" loud enough for pretty much everyone to hear. Awesome. Whore...she's also totally skeletal and ate two buckets of popcorn then left for a while. Bulimic coke whore...."

· WeHo Trader Joes, afternoon: i was in weho trader joes yesterday afternoon and i heard this woman on the phone talking loud and it bugged me so i looked and it was Rachel Zoe in the cereal section moving to the trail mix section stuffing her basket and talking but that wasn't the disturbing part, maybe she was feeding the homeless, not herself. but she was wearing this huge fur vest (i am not a activist but that vest could make me one) that looked like a bear was hugging her and these ridiculous shoes that she was trying to balance on and and her face was so well just so bloated looking.......people trust her to dress them?

· Hotel Cafe: Dancing With the Stars pros Mark Ballas and Derek Hough played with their band "Almost Amy." In attendance: The Cheetah Girls, Cristian de la Fuente, Cheryl Burke, Julianne Hough, Priscilla Presley, Kristi Yamaguchi, Shannon Elizabeth, Fabian Sanchez, Pasha (from SYTYCD). Derek and Shannon were looking particularly cozy after the show.

· Beverly Center Chipotle: None other than Weezy F Baby (Lil Wayne) in front of me after yet another Chipotle visit. He was in a Dodge Nitrosomething with 29s or 30s on it. I wanted to get out of my car and tell him what a huge fan I am but I was afraid of getting clapped.

Thursday, April 10
· Adam Levine, in a giant green cowl neck sweater, shorts, high socks and driving shoes; buying many spirits at Mayfair. He is slender and handsome enough to obviously not be drinking all that alone later.

· Was at the Forgetting Sarah Marshall premiere party last night, complete clusterfuck. Mila Kunis looked pretty and skinny. Kristen Bell looked pretty, skinny and really happy. Amber Heard.. skinny and wooden. Seth Green was short and friendly. The skinny guy from Superbad, the comedian with a gap in his teeth from Human Giants [Ed. Note - That'd be Paul Scheer]. Busy Phillips sort of channeling Anna Nicole. Paul Rudd - as dreamy as expected. Swoon.

Friday, April 11
· Hollywood Farmers Market: I saw Ellen Page at the Hollywood Farmers Market. She looked very Juno in a hoodie with the hood up. She was buying brussel sprouts or something similarly healthy. Good eating habits Ellen!

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

In today's episode: Al Pacino; Matthew Perry; Val Kilmer; John Krasinski; Vince Vaughn; Spencer Pratt; Heidi Montag; Chris Evans; Simon Rex; Kathie Lee Gifford; Stephen Cojocaru; Dee Snider; Danni Minogue; Mel C.; Randall Kleiser

Wednesday (4/2) Polo Lounge lunch: Al Pacino, in a group of older, possibly producer/artiste-types getting shitfaced.

3/31: At the Fox and Hounds pub in Studio City when who should walk in to sit at a nearby table but Mr. Chandler Bing himself, Matthew Perry. He proceeded to sit at a table surrounded by 4 or 5 girls dressed more for a night of clubbing than for trivia, but I guess someone knew their stuff because their team came in second overall. Matt got up for the joke round and proceeded to tell a tale involving elephant penises (was too drunk to remember the actual joke).

Val Kilmer was on my Virgin America flight from JFK to LAX yesterday (4/1) with his two kids. He's looking hot again, with some highlights and less weight than those unflattering photos of him from last summer. He kept walking up and down the aisles, presumably so people would notice him.

Last night (4/2) at LAX John Krasinski cut in line like he's some entitled uber-celebrity and not just 'that jim guy from the office who couldn't pick a decent movie script if his life depended on it'. Old people were in that line, including my nanna and poppa, and that's never okay. He had a tall chick in tow.

I just got home from watching 21 at the Arclight in Hollywood (04/03 at 10:30pm). Vince Vaughn was walking out in front of us. He looked happy, smiling, and well fed. He was with another guy who could have been a foot shorter than Vince and looked like George Costanza.

4/4: I was just stuck in traffic driving down sunset and a dirty black bmw pulls up next to me. a guy with dirty blonde hair is driving so i look over to see if he's cute or not and OH MY GOD it's spencer pratt. dear lord, why?!? he leans forward and heidi is sitting there in the car with him.

4/2: Chris Evans and Simon Rex at Stone Rose - Evans is hot in a fratty way, but still shorter than you'd expect (I remain shocked by the height challenges of Hollywood stars), kept randomly dancing about and running into people. Rex doesn't look nearly as wrecked as you would expect from someone who has gotten down with P. Hilton, but he genuinely dances like he's mentally incapacitated.

Tuesday (4/1) Polo Lounge sighting (admittedly extremely ho-hum) was Kathie Lee Gifford, loudly "look-at-me, I'm actually working again after ten years of humiliation and shame, eat me Katie Couric" singing songs from some album she announced was some kind of teen thing (yeah, the kids just love KTG!).

Cojo at the Beverly Center Macy's on April 2nd in the early afternoon. He was filming some sort of spring fashion segment about the color yellow, in a very loud grating voice.

4/2 PM: Dee Snider eating dinner at SimonLA looking exactly like he looks in every picture you've ever seen of him, chatting with Kerry Simon himself.

4/1: I was roped into going to the Dancing with the Starstaping yesterday at the CBS studios. Sat a few down from Danni Minogue who was there to see her sister sing. Kylie kept looking at her sister throughout the performance. After both songs she would make faces at her poking fun at her own outfit and dance moves. Actually seems like they have good senses of humor about themselves and are close. Other sightings included Mel C.

Runyon Canyon last Saturday afternoon (3/29) with a bunch of friends. We were on the way down and spotted a passel of older gay gentlemen, one of whom was shirtless and quite leathery. Upon closer inspection, the shirtless man turned out to be Randall Kleiser (director of Grease and The Blue Lagoon). The dude must be 60 but he's still fit... just leathery as well.

In today's episode: Quentin Tarantino; Keanu Reeves; Michael Rapaport; Giovanni Ribisi; Ray Liotta; Peter Berg and Henry Winkler; Chris Noth; Anthony Kiedis; Billy Baldwin; Dina Meyer; and Brad Beyer.

· Saturday, 3/23
Quentin Tarantino was downing something fruity with one of those dragon stirrers in it at Good Luck. He was with a couple of completely average looking (you know, pretty but not Hollywood pretty) women and was bigger (both lengthwise and widthwise) than I would have thought. The indie bartenders were all atwitter...and probably actually on Twitter.

· 1. Sunday March 16th. Michael Rapaport at Fred Siegel on Melrose. Sitting at the entrance of the restaurant starring into space or at everyone who enters. Very rabid and intense looking. Aggressively picking his teeth. One shoe dangling off of his foot. Prominent bald spot.

2. Wednesday March 19th. Keanu Reeves at Locanda Veneta West 3rd dining with 3 women. One woman looked very similar to Parker Posey, perhaps it was? Very discreet, he sat facing away from entrance.

3. Thursday March 20th. Giovanni Ribisi at Long's Drugs across from the Beverly Center. The extremely skinny Scientologist with very tight jeans had finished his purchases at the check out and then turned his full cart around and went back into the store and came back to the cashier with epsom salts and box of Magnum Condoms [Ed.: Ahem].

· Ray Liotta was right next to me at Gold's Gym in Venice yesterday March 20th on the chest machine. The guy has had a lot of work done.

· Two interesting celebrities dining at Pizzeria Mozza Saturday late lunch/early dinner: Peter Berg, dining with a lovely lady and Henry Winkler, seemingly with family.

· It's a biggie! Who has gotten a tan, touched up his roots and is looking a whole lot better? Mr Big himself, Chris Noth. Spotted on Sunset Blvd & Horn Ave, across from the old Tower Records and Spago in a white t-shirt and blue sweatpants. Looks like he's been working out. Still has a belly, but it looks OK in that high school gym teacher way. Nice meaty ass too! I'd say he looks powerful.

· March 18 - So I'm pretty sure I just saw Anthony Kiedis mad riding a skateboard on the lumpy, snaggy, uneven sidewalk down Sunset in Silverlake, (like slaloming!), with baby in his arms. Mama was walking behind.

· sunday (3/24) on the starbucks patio in beverly hills (s. beverly drive) i was sitting next to william 'billy' baldwin (and cute daughter). he was wearing a funny hat and plaid pants. i really enjoyed his work in backdraft.

· I've seen the ubiquitous Dina Meyer with her ever present "galpal" THREE times in 3 days. One woman you don't see for years unless she's dying on-screen but lately she's everywhere (at least in Santa Monica)! Late Sunday night she was with her galpal at Bob's Market on Ocean Park buying wine and cheese. Then saw her Monday just on 6pm at It's a Grind on SaMo & 6th, they were crammed in a corner sipping lattes and reading what looked like a script together. Then again yesterday (Tues) she was gassing up the must-have celeb vehicle - silver Prius at Shell on Lincoln & Pico with same friend again. Don't mind running into her at all - she's aging very nicely!

· Friday, 3-21-08, 1:30pm: Brad Beyer, the tall and handsome blonde and blue-eyed stoic farmer from "Jericho," on Santa Monica Main Street, wearing his trademark aviators. HOTTTT!!!! Didn't Les Moonves just dink this show? f so, that would explain the Chenbot looking female who beaned him with a 2 lb pound bag of peanuts thrown from her Mercedes convertible right at the time of this sighting..

In today's episode: Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore; Al Pacino; Albert Brooks; Matthew Modine; Richard Lewis; Stephen Hawking; Orlando Bloom; Kate Walsh and Eva Mendes; Giovani Ribisi and Andy Samberg; Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen; Paul Bettany; Peter Berg, Minka Kelly, and Jason Lee; John Cho; Ginnifer Goodwin; Christian Siriano; Vanessa Paradis; Mary McDonnell; Reggie Bush; Jason Taylor; Chris Parnell; and Joel Madden.

· Cameron Diaz tripped up the bleacher steps at the LA Derby Dolls: Sirens vs. Fight Crew match Saturday 3/15 around 8pm in Historic Philipinotown (Temple and Westlake). Shr laughed it off as Drew Barrymore helped her up. They were in a group of 5-10 people and left about 3 minutes before the end of the 4th quarter. Rumor has it that Drew Barrymore is filming a Roller Derby-related movie.

· 3/14 - On my way out of the Starbucks on Beverly in Beverly Hills during the early morning rush, I passed Matthew Modine. He was looking good, almost like he'd been frozen in the early '90s. A few blocks away at lunch time, I stood next to Albert Brooks at a street corner. He smiled at me. I enjoyed our little moment.

· 3/16 - I was walking toward a crowd that seemed to be gathered outside the garage next to the Crate and Barrel on Beverly in Beverly Hills. As I got closer, the crowd parted and out stepped a jovial Al Pacino and his little boy (sans twin girl). They were chatting it up and looked to be having quite the father/son day. Pacino was dressed in his trademark head to toe black ensemble.

· 3/20 - Driving past the Peninsula Hotel just after lunch time, I caught Larry David's arch nemesis/best bud Richard Lewis. In typical Richard Lewis fashion, he looked like he had enough of this life and appeared to be mumbling to himself.

· Saturday, March 15 - 9:30PM Stephen Hawking
Heading to Madre's in Pasadena after the Roller Derby (go Kung Pao Tina!), we were resigned to the fact Ms. Lopez's restaurant's time may had passed and we certainly didn't expect to see Mamma J-Lo herself. Needless to say, you could have pushed the lesbian, the homo and the straight girl over with a friggin feather when none other than quantum gravity father Stephen Hawking was sitting front and center at a table behind the hostess stand. As he was being wheeled back from the bathroom (no pictures of that as we do have some level of decorum/were blocked by his "assistant'), he was nice enough to stop and "chat" with several young admirers; with each compliment he kindly hit the "THANKS" button on his wheelchair-mounted computer, which meant a spooky robot-like voice echoed and bounced around the shabby-chic decor.

· Orlando Bloom at the SGI-USA Buddhist Youth Conference at El Camino College in Torrance on Sunday, March 16th. He ducked out during the closing statements and went backstage to greet the youth performers, where he told them that they were inspiring to him.

· March 14th- I saw Seth Rogen this afternoon at the Whole Foods on Fairfax. He was with a girl I assume was his girlfriend.

· 3/16/08 A friend and I were wearing out our Sunday brunch welcome at Dusty's in Silverlake when in walks Kate Walsh with a friend. I was stunned that she looked normal, yes still skinny, but not so skinny I wanted to force feed her lard. She then sat down near us and I had to field my friend's repeated inquires as to what she was eating. She ate Eggs Benedict, but I told my friend it was steamed puppies. That shut her up. Somehow we outlasted Kate and ended up catching Eva Mendes for the lunch rush. She looked tres relaxed and her body was bangin' despite wearing unfortunate/unflattering but very "in" high-waisted pants. Dark, face engulfing shades, per Hollywood norm, were worn by both ladies.

· Wed March 19 - 10ish Osteria Mozza...Giovani Ribisi, who appears to be shrinking every time I see him (or maybe I'm eating too much Mozza pasta), and Andy Samberg at a table of four. I wanted to tell him I gave my girlfriend a dick in a box for Christmas and she dumped be 72 hours later, but I didn't.

· Just saw Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen at the Sunday morning Ojai farmers market. You'd notice him whether he was or wasn't famous because he's really tall and has a glowing shock of white hair. Mary Steenburgen looks more like the average Ojai matron — attractive, thin and not weirdly deformed like the plastic surgery veterans. They both had that fearful/wary/annoyed look stars do when they're out in public and they think people might approach. It must suck to have to be that defensive all the time.

· Paul Bettany at the Four Seasons cafe (3/16) late Sunday afternoon. Very tall, very pale, very cute. Winked at me the second time I spotted him in the lobby. Jennifer Connolly may have an appalling dress sense, but she's a lucky girl to have him.

· Last night, at the Wiltern, the Explosions in the Sky show: Friday Night Lights director Peter Berg, in a group with but not "with" with Minka Kelly, aka Lyla Garrity. At one silent point of the show some dude shouted "GO PANTHERS!" and Lyla said "That's awesome!" and high-fived with Berg. Also there: Jason Lee, sporting full Earl mustache, checking me out while smoking outside :)

· Friday, 3/14: A very tall John Cho sighted on Virgin America flight from LAX to SFO. Was wearing a bandage around his wrist. Accompanied by white CAA flack. Overheard him conversing about what to ask Baron Davis of the Golden State Warriors. Put on sunglasses when about to board, and then sat unobtrusively in first class. Heard others refer to him as "Harold! He's so cute!"

· Diminutive (aren't they all?) Ginnifer Goodwin came in for a late dinner at AOC Wednesday night. She was with a small group of folks, was seated at her table as the restaurant was clearing out around 10ish (another reminder of what an early town L.A. truly is), and carried a fucking awesome Miu Miu harlequin handbag that I totally covet.

· 3/14/08: Supertrannyhotmessferociafiercenessfromtransylvania Project Runway winner Christian Siriano at Popstarz in Weho. He was very tiny — Precious Moments sized — and very sweet allowing all the gheys to take pics with him. There was one overzealous girl who looked like she was going to crush his hollow bird bones with her 98-pounds of huggy grip.

· 3/15/08: BevCen Heritage 1981 — gotta love discount trendy clothes made of asbestos fibers, yo — Vanessa Paradis and spawns of Johnny Depp. She was with a nanny type and stuck at the chola-manned checkout forever (XXI). Nobody seemed to know who she was. The ParaDepp kiddos are superadorable and well behaved. Vanny looked like a beat-down Keri Russell, but we know the sultry songstress can clean up real purdy and stuff, like face of Chanel purdy.

· Wednesday, 3-19-08, 8:30pm or so: OMG, the only and only but only somewhat awesome Mary "Battlestar Galactica" McDonnell, at LAX, at where else, but the fucking Aadmirals Club, Terminal 4, because we know why we fly. The starship she captains was not parked at any gate, so maybe she was just slumming at a fancy airport bar? The gal has big tits, but I'd still rather see one of those randy handsome young Battlestar fighter pilots. Oh well, next trip maybe.

· 10:55 AM, Friday 21 March USC Heisman trophy winner Reggie Bush sits with a woman sporting long straight black hair (who is not Kim Kardashian - BOOH!!) at an outdoor table at Jinky's on Sunset. No baseball hat, no sunglasses, white t-shirt, black track pants, sneakers. He eats some sort of meat that still has bones attached or inside (ribs or wings family). He orders a second meal, a sandwich, but when it comes he sends it back. It reappaears in a to-go box. A random tall white guy approaches him and starts blabbering about some pizza place he is opening. Reggie looks uncomfortable. Pizza man shuffles off. Reggie splits the check dutch with his dining companion. Reggie drives off in a low riding silver sports car with spoilers that leave no ground clearance. It is an unlogo'ed make that we have never seen before with tinted windows - but it looks like what a young millionaire athlete should drive. He also heads westbound down sunset. [Relegate this to Deadspin? The Dustbin?]

· I saw Jason Taylor of the Miami Dolphins pulling out of the Hollywood CBS Television complex on Sunday evening (March 17th), in his white Bentley convertible with Florida plates. He was talking to someone on his cell and had a big smile on his face. Maybe he just cut a TV deal is giving up football for good?

· Ex-Narnia rapper Chris Parnell noshing with the rest of the lowlifes at Canter's on a Tuesday night (3/11). Chatting with a female friend, looked platonic. Couldn't see his plate to see if he ordered one of their deliciously spongy Monte Cristos. Seriously, best thing on the menu.

· sat march 15th. noon. joel madden just walked into the Armenian starbucks in glendale on pacific and burchett. he's totally blinged out and wearing that little black hat. talking on his phone. Looks like he pulled up in a black mercedes suv. no nicole or harlow in sight. :-(

In today's episode: Jake Gyllenhaal, Reese Witherspoon, and Jamie Lee Curtis; Michael Douglas and Michelle Rodriguez; Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor; Mark McGrath; Dustin Hoffman; Billy Joel; Romany Malco; Joseph Gordon-Levitt; Dennis Rodman; Zachary Quinto; John Legend; Danny Masterson; Dina Meyer; Louie Anderson; Robert Wisdom; Jocelyn Wildenstein; Jim Jones; and Constantine Maroulis.

· March 12th, lunchtime. On my inaugural visit to Mozza on Highland and Melrose, I spotted a gaggle of celebs while stuffing my face with their signature pizza. Up from a table rose lanky Jamie Lee Curtis, wearing all blacks and greys and her signature spunky haircut. As my eyes traveled down to resume pizza-eating, I noticed two of the four sitting at the table that I presume she was sitting at - of all folks, Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon. JG was scruffy and terribly attractive, much more so in person than I expected, and stared at RW adoringly, snapping a few candids of her throughout the lunch with his digital camera. Cute couple.

· Michael Douglas inciting a near-riot among the 15 (I counted) paparazzi camped in front of Il Sole on Sat night (3/8). No sign of his 38-year old wife. Michelle Rodriguez was there too but I'm pretty sure we've all stopped caring about her.

· Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor dining at Katsuya in Studio City on Friday, 03/07. They were with another couple.

03/07 - Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray at Hotel Figueroa in downtown LA.

· 2/9- Billy Joel at the Village Idiot on Melrose... low key in requisite celeb-staple baseball hat squeezed into a booth with industry types. took a second to decide it was really him, until it dawned on my group that the Grammy's were indeed the next day.

· 2/27- Romany Malco of 40 Year-Old virgin and Weeds fame at the Grove. Had to do a quick double take considering the 'wow he's not much taller than me' surprise that 90% of privacywatches seem to recognize. Hugging a girlfriend type and quite handsome in a t-shirt and jeans.

· 3/8- Dustin Hoffman walking down the insufferably crowded 3rd St. Promenade in Santa Monica arm and arm with wife (I assume?). Seemed to be enjoying the beautiful evening despite the sea of humanity. Looks exactly like he does on film with a well-deserved and friendly 'it's good to be me!' grin.

· Joseph Gordon Levitt at the Rufus Wainwright show at USC on Wednesday (3/5). He was up in the balcony with us common folk, he looked like a cute hipster in glasses, striped sweater and an Obama 08 pin, he seemed to be really enjoying the show. Rufus was amazing as usual, he dedicated one song to Heath Ledger, which made me think of how adorable he and JGL were in 10 Things I Hate About You.

· march 1st... dennis rodman walking into koi wasted... a few drinks later, he got kicked out for shoving a kid at a birthday dinner one table over from him...

· Stardage 2008-03-08 Silver Lake Star System
spotted the rebooted Spock (and everyone's faves super villain, Seiler), Zachary Quinto, leaving the gayster hangout, Akbar. he was usual hot self, but was sporting the vulcan eyebrows. Also saw Jesse Tyler Ferguson of the me sitcom, The Class. i'm a sucker for cute redheads, what can i say

· 1ish on Saturday night. John Legend with a toffee-skinned model at the In and Out on Sunset and Orange. Took pictures and signed autographs for a mob of film school types.

· Danny Masterson at the Coffee Bean on Sunset Blvd, but not the one by the DGA building. Very nice to the staff and handed a drink off to a
mysterious individual in his Range Rover. (march 12)

· Last night (03/09) I was standing in line at the ticket window buying tix to Married Life at the Monica 4-Plex (Santa Monica) and caught my husband checking out a hottie in front of us. When she turned around after getting her tickets I realized it was none other than Starship Trooper, Dina Meyer! I was shocked and said "it's Dizzy Flores" a bit too loud. She gave me a smile and nod of acknowledgment (I guess she gets that a lot!) as she wandered into the theater with a female friend who rudely laughed in my face (and looked exactly like Camryn Manheim, but wasn't). She's not as tall as she looks on screen and was looking a bit glassy-eyed and pale but still very striking. And she was sporting long wavy dark hair too. No sign of those frizzy dizzy curls!

· On my way to the car rental desk at the Burbank Airport on 3/7 I notice a familiar face talking on his cellphone, dressed in clothes too heavy for the weather and looking rather slept in. I know he's a comedian but I can't come up with the name of this rather heavy man with a gap in his front teeth. Using those descriptors as my Google reference didn't help, but then I remembered Family Feud and I realized I had seen Louie Anderson. And sadly, he was my only celebrating sighting on my short visit.

· On Saturday, March 8, saw everyone's favorite cat woman, Jocelyn Wildenstein, at The Ivy. I guess what was so remarkable, well, other than THAT, was her ginormous boobs. I mean, the pics always just show her face. But, she was standing there, with what I assumed was her boyfriend, looking like she could release the hounds at any minute. It was a rather fascinating site as the tourists weren't quite sure what to make of this special occasion. The only thing that could possible top that was if Angelyne popped out of her pink Corvette and challenged JW to a cat fight. Sunday was much more tame. Had beers, and a pretty in depth political discussion, with Robert Wisdom at the Village Idiot. Who is that you ask? Major "Bunny" Colvin from The Wire. I guess what made it so remarkable was that the end of the series was about to air in a few hours and he was just throwing back a few pints on Melrose. I hate to say it, but a really nice guy and a lucid thinker.

· Rapper Jim Jones getting his swoll on at Equinox West Hollywood. Balllllllllllin'!

· Went bowling Friday afternoon (3/7) with the coworkers at Pinz in Studio City and spotted Constantine Maroulis bowling with a blonde chick, older guy with stringy hair, and a kid who looked to be in his early teens. Odd group. They were just starting to bowl as we walked out so the most I saw was his first shot down the alley... he was using a hot pink ball.

In today's episode: Bruce Willis; Kiefer Sutherland; Kris Kristofferson; Elizabeth Berkly; Owen Wilson; Matt Dillon; Naveen Andrews; Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann; Rashida Jones; Amanda Peet and David Benioff; Keri Russell; BJ Novak; Nicole Richie and Joel Madden; Brian Grazer; Brad Grey; Ian Ziering; Valerie Bertinelli; Grant Show; Udo Keir; Travis Barker; Jason Bantha; Jorja Fox; Eric Wareheim; Sara Rue and Glenn Morshower; and Joey Buttafuoco.

· Bruce Willis shopping at John Varvartos on Melrose wearing a lavender sweater on Saturday March 1st.

· Last Friday - Kris Kristofferson in the New Zealand Air/Virgin lounge form LAX to London. No matter how old that guy is he always looks the same. I looked up at him as he came out of the bathroom and he smiled and did a little hat tilt at me...I felt a bit awkward and in no way attracted to him.

· Yesterday - Virgin Atlantic lounge at Heathrow and upper class on Virgin was our favorite world savior - Kiefer Sutherland. Actually looked quite good, thin and euro in jacket, tie, scarf and sunglasses. Probably the first time I've considered him sexy. He sat where everyone could see him but no one would talk to him in the lounge. Sadly, he slept most of the flight and didn't attack anyone.

· And finally, the best sighting ever - Nomi Malone, aka Jessi Spano, aka Elizabeth Berkly at Bodyfactory near the Arclight. I was behind her in line and hear a voice that was strangely familiar and loud asking if there was any lactose in the shake because she is lactose intolerant. I almost peed my gym shorts with excitement when I noticed it was Nomi. Showgirls is probably the greatest film of all time (and my favorite)...sadly, she caught me texting my friends and looking at her like 10 times. I genuinely wanted to ask for a picture but thought she'd get all Nomi on me. She's really tall and quite gorgeous.

· Feb 29 - Owen Wilson was spotted looking at art today with his dog, Garcia, at Regen Projects, where he looked at Raymond Pettibon's older drawings and Catherine Opie photographs of surfers.

· March 6 - Matt Dillon getting his mack on at the celebrity coffee bean(sunset and fairfax). He got dropped off in a crystler and proceeded to get his drink, then quickly began hitting on young girls. Reminded me of his brother johnny drama

· i saw Naveen Andrews on the corner of 4th and Santa Monica Blvd (near 3rd st promenade) on Feb. 29 around 7pm. Naveen was with a hot model-type chick (not Barbara Hershey—did they break up?). Naveen didn't look too happy to be reconized. i stared at him shamelessly, because i am an obsessive fan of LOST!!! i wanted to yell "Help me get back to the island, Sayid!!!!!" but i was too afraid he would torture me. Naveen and the mystery chick then headed into some fancy restaurant for dinner........

· March 3, 2008 Saw Naveen Andrews (LOST) at a park in Santa Monica. Was pushing my stroller and being sleep-addled and before I could stop myself, I turned to my husband and blurted out: "OH MY GOD, IS THAT SAYID?" To which Naveen laughed and waved. Then because I'm a total dork, I felt compelled to give him a thumbs up, to which he laughed and waved some more and then drove off in his sweet ass ride — a Porsche. btw, he's a total hottie.

· The next weekend I saw the always amazing Judd Apatow and his funny-talented wife, Leslie Mann, at the Grove. You'd never pick them out of a crowd, he in jeans and baseball cap, she in puffy jacket and sweat pants. Like not the velour matching kind but the old school kind of sweats — green with elastic around the ankles. It was raining. They seemed comfy and thank god because us understated puffy jacket and scarf wearing regular jeans people need to stick together... I mean, I've seen enough Marc Ecko jeans in LA to last a lifetime.

· Last night (3/6) I went grocery shopping and saw: 1) at the WeHo Trader Joe's Rashida Jones with chic geek glasses on—quite polite and very beautiful w/no make-up then 2) at the BH Bristol Farms Amanda Peet & David Benioff & their beautiful chubby baby. Amanda looked a little sleep-deprived but then again she didn't have make-up on either and still looked better than me. That's all.

· Saw Felicity (Keri Russell) at the bucolic Palisades Farmers' Market two weeks ago. She had her cute baby boy in one of those slings (Bjorns?) and looked fresh faced and happy, chatting with her similarly beponytailed husband. But she was super skinny. I know she's probably naturally tiny, but I'm not sure how her frail frame even supported the weight of that kid. Keri! The Oscars are over and you looked lovely! Now reward yourself with a sandwich for god's sake. The kid is going to be scarred for life if mommy
snaps in half next time she tries to pick him up.

· On March 1st I was waiting in line at the Starbucks at the Farmers Market at 3rd and Fairfax BJ Novak of the office got in line behind me. He had sunglasses and looked like he hadnt shaved for a week also he looked kind of edgy like he wanted to get out of there as quick as possible.

· Geeze, i think it was Monday march 3. Nicole richie and joel madden shopping for lingerie at neman marcus in beverly hills. Im guessing they were shopping for her... Her boobs looked like they did when she was fat. Milk does a body good indeed.

· wednesday - 05 march. malibu colony plaza. decided to have sushi for lunch when who should i see walking out of the restaurant but BRIAN GRAZER with, no - not his new cultural attache/shamen - rather his new girlfriend, pianist chau-giang nguyen. he's way shorter than i imagined, though his melon is as enormous as it looks in photos. his skin gives keith richards a run for its louis vuitton epi leather texture. chau was wearing a sun hat the size of an o.g. satellite dish. i'm guessing she thinks of brian as a cautionary epidermal tale. good call.

· Spotted at the Grove on Sunday 3/2: Paramount overlord Brad Grey shopping with daughter in Apple Store (didnt buy anything) and the adjacent Nike store. BG checked out the Nike merchandise and then spent some time in the changing area trying on different pairs of athletic pants while checking out HIS merchandise in the mirrors i.e. "does my but look fat in these trackpants?"

· Sat, March 1 - So, I've just gotten my bikini line waxed at FACE IT SKIN AND NAIL SPA in Hollywood at La Brea and Sunset in the El Pollo Loco/ Wendy's strip mall. As I walk back out to the nail area in my state of post-pain euphoria, I see a familiar man with a distinctive blonde fro-mullet. It's Steve Sanders! Excuse me, it's IAN ZIERING. He's sitting in one of the spa chairs getting a pedicure and the best thing about it is that he has that same perfect, smirky smile you always see on his face. Today it said, "That's right, Baby. You remember me, I'm Steve Sanders and I'm gettin' a pedicure." What is it with that smirk, EYE-An? What the f#@$ secrets of life do you know that I don't know? I know he lives in this annoying hood and all I can think is, if I were him and had a couple of bucks, I'd move as far east of Vermont as would make me cool again.

· I saw Valerie Bertinelli shopping with her man Tom Vitale in the Studio City Ralph's on Saturday night (03/01). She looked great in jeans and sunglasses, what a cutie. Then I went home and she was on a late night Oprah rerun promoting her new book "Losing It".

· Former Melrose Placer - Grant Show (you'll always be JAKE to me!) at Happy Ending's bar on Sunset. Man, he is aging well! Homie looks good for 46-years old, floppy hair and rock hard abs. I tried to get him to win me a lobster out of the tank, but he was too busy staring at some blond (sad face).

· A friend and I were enjoying $5 pitchers of beer at the Eagle in Silverlake on Monday night, March 3. I then notice Udo Keir cruising the bar in a black leather biker jacket and pristine blue jeans, how utterly German of him or not, it's a leather bar. He looked creepy and surprisingly well preserved. He left without closing a deal.

· March 3 - So I'm leaving the Disneyland Grand Californian after having brunch with my friends and I see a filthy looking, tatooed amaciated Travis Barker "rolling" in to the valet. From out of the ghetto fabulous Escalade emerges Shauna Moakler sans extensions and makeup and a bunch of little children. They were very conspicuous with the ink and Travis with his big shades in ANAHEIM!

· Tues, March 4, The Room (Cahuenga Corridor)
enjoying a late night snatchtail with some friends where we spotted Jason Bantha of National Treasure and Peadbody award winner National Treasure 2 having some drinks at dancing in that goofy white hipster boy kind of way. looked super cute and seems like an okay guy.

· Last Saturday (Mar 2) saw Jorja Fox with 3 non-celeb friends (2 guys and a girl) buying wine a bit after 10pm at CapNCork on Hillhurst in Los Feliz. She was in jeans, green shirt and white vest, hair down, no makeup and looking very casual but easily recognizable.

· i saw a very tall Eric Wareheim (from tim and eric awesome show on adult swim) last night at Katsuya in Studio CIty. He was with a gorgeous girl with short blonde hair, i assume it was his girlfriend. They were smiling and laughing, and very affectionate. It was very cute to watch and he seemed really sweet.

· At the Commerce Casino on March 3rd, watching the final table at the World Poker Tour event, saw the perfectly lovely Sara Rue (Less Than Perfect) seated front row to cheer on a friend. Also spotted veteran character actor Glenn Morshower in the crowd. OK, honestly I spotted "Agent Aaron Pierce" in the crowd, and had to check IMDB for his real name. Regardless, having a few seasons of 24 on his resume makes him the closest I've gotten to a Kiefer sighting in a while.

· March 5, 2008 12:50:31 PM PST - Joey Buttafuoco dining outside at the ivy right now!!

In today's episode: Sacha Baron Cohen; Adam Sandler and Richard Dreyfuss; Drew Barrymore; Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, Omar Epps, and Arye Gross; Hayden Christensen; Jason Schwartzman; Chad Faust; Kirstie Alley; Howie Mandel; Nick Nolte; Mickey Rourke; Heidi Klum and Kathleen Robertson; Dylan McDermott; Lauren Graham; Justin Long; Rob Corddry; Christopher Mintz-Plasse; David Boreanaz; Emily Deschanel and Zachary Quinto; Nicky Hilton, David and Jeff Katzenberg; Christopher Mintz-Plasse; Danny Bonaduce; Brooke White; Monty Hall and Gary Owens.

· I saw Sacha Baron Cohen doing filming as Bruno (gay Austrian) at On Your Marks Studio in Sherman Oaks on Feb. 21st. He was dressed in tight leather black pants with a bedazzeled g-string showing. his hair was frosted blond and straight. He was interviewing parents with their children pretending to be an german / austrian ad agent looking for a child to do a car commercial. He asked questions like : are you willing to film your child with ants? bees or wasps? dogs? ect. very funny.

· Feb 20 - Adam Sandler was in the dining room of the Polo Lounge in a green t shirt at a table with a bunch of little kids. Kind of awesome. Then, in the lobby, a very old woman said, "I want something nice to snack on!" Her date, or friend, or companion, or whatever, an old guy who looked a bit like a shriveled Einstein, said, "Oh, something to do like THIS?"—and mimed shoving a candy bar in his mouth. Would it surprise you if I said that the wisened little man was Richard Dreyfuss?

· I'm simply shocked (shocked!) no one sent in Drew Barrymore at the Derby Dolls game on Saturday night (Feb 16). She sat front and center in the VIP section with some moody hipster types. I later saw her jumping up and down, all smiles talking with star jammer Mila Minute. Maybe Drew's scouting extras for her directorial debut? I've even got some photographic evidence.

· 2/20 Hugo's Studio City - Gwen, Gavin and Kingston Stefani-Rossdale looking magnificent, Arye Gross of "Ellen" notoriety, Omar Epps who only tip waitresses and the last time I saw Hayden Christensen there he hit on me, but I refuse to disclose the identify my sex.

· Feb 25 - This weekend I had two sightings at M Cafe de Chaya on Melrose. Saturday I saw Jason Schwartzman looking very cute with a nice healthy glow. Must be all that delicious Cafe M macrobiotic food! Someone was blocking his car in and he was very patient and polite. Sunday I went back to Cafe M for more deliciousness and saw Chad Faust from the USA show the 4400. I must be one of seven people that watch that show but man is the boy hot.

· Kirstie Alley: Saturday Feb 23 eating at Gingergrass in Silver Lake with two teen age girls and a couple 20 something chicks. One of her guests was eating salad; from the detritus on her plate, KA had KO'd a plate of sauteed meat and rice. KA had no make up and was dressed in large casual clothes. She's full figured but not obese, though some alpha hydroxy or laser around the lips and chin would def be a suggestion—more so than weight loss—for prettying up. No idea what they were gabbing about, they were too far away to eavesdrop on.

· last Thursday (Feb 21), having lunch in the 'bu at coogie's on pch, when who should walk in but the be-chromed dome himself, howie mandel. he was with a couple and the three of them were seated in the booth next to mine. i listened carefully as they discussed what they were going to order and waited to see what it was going to be for howie - a meal or no meal.

· then on friday, again in the 'bu, i was enjoying my delicious high protein burrito from howie's taqueria in the malibu country mart, when i see a tall-ish, dishevelled man walking my direction, wearing diaphanous, black man-made fiber pants, a black man-made fiber trench coat and a straw fedora-esque hat with a whole lotta crazy hair trying to escape from under it. as the gentlemen gets close i realize it's malibu's second favorite DUI son - nick nolte! aside from the air of crazy he exudes, what was most striking was the fact that he was wearing all that black and all that clothing in close to 80 degree weather.

· Feb 26 - I'm getting some work done at the Santa Monica Public Library, but some guy keeps snoring really loudly. I look up and am completely un-surprised to find that it's Mickey Rourke, sunglasses on and feet propped on a canvas bag. A girl politely wakes him up, and he proceeds to hit on her. Yes, that all sounds about right.

· It was a double dose of celebrity fun at 25 Degrees this afternoon (February 21st). Shortly after being seated in the far back booth for lunch, my friends and I spotted Kathleen Robertson of 90210 fame. Looking pretty and casually dressed, she ate with an older couple. Service for our meal was a little on the slow side (per usual), until it came time to pay the check and have our plates cleared. It was then we were informed that Heidi Klum needed a table — our table. We barely had a chance get up and walk away before Heidi and her entourage took over. She was shorter than I imagined; let's say 5'8".

· 2/25 - Dylan McDermott looking just as pretty as you'd expect Dylan McDermott to look cruising through Santa Monica in a black Porsche.

· 2/23 at Mexico City in Los Feliz: Lauren Graham sat in the booth next to us. She was with a couple and was looking fabulous. Still quite the (fictional) MILF!

· getting off the 10 at the 4th/5th st exit into santa monica, got cut off by some douche in a black prius. i'm able to use a pit maneuver and get in front of said douche, check my rearview and i see justin long. boytoy was in a hurry to get down to main street.

· Feb 21 - This morning! Rob Corddry! Jogging! In my neighborhood! (Almost ran over him with my car, but we won't mention that part in the awesomeness of the occasion.) Am wondering what he's doing hanging out so close to the place where they stash all the American Idol contenders each year.

· On Thursday, Feb. 28th, at about 10:10 am, I spotted David Boreanaz exiting a gas station on the corner of La Cienga and Holloway. He was in his silver mercedes, looking quite handsome.

· Feb 21 - Emily Deschanel and Zach Quinto of Heroes were at Brently Heilbron and Liz Feldman's Awesome War Show at the Comedy Central Stage Wednesday.

· Saw Zachary Quinto more times than I'd like to remember in the Silverlake hood. He seems to really think he's someone really special. He wears a hoodie over his head really low when he goes into Intelligentsia café—you know, incognito, cause he's so famous. Also, last Friday (Feb 15) at Akbar (in hood) he was occupying the service area, so the nice-guy bartender asked him to move. He refused, and actually pulled out the "Do you know who I am?" line.

· Didn't expect a star sighting at The Ivy morning of the Oscars because
I figured nobody in this town would be eating until 9pm that night,
but lo and behold, in walked Nicky Hilton and David Katzenberg, along with Jeff Katzenberg and I'm assuming a whole slew of other Katzenbergs. Things must be getting serious for Nicky if she's allowed to crash fam brunch...

· Feb 25 - I saw Christopher Mintz-Plasse (also known as McLovin of Superbad fame) coming out of a showing of Diary of the Dead at the Universal City Walk AMC Theatre on Saturday the 23rd. He was wearing a cap somewhat low (maybe so he wouldn't be recognized) but he was on his cell phone talking and I definitely recognized his voice

· Driving South on LaBrea approaching 3rd St, right by Trader Joes on Monday afternoon (2/25) when I looked out the window and spotted a unicyclist pedaling furiously on the sidewalk. Just as I was wondering to myself, just why unicyclists do what they do, I realized that this unicyclist was none other than Danny Bonaduce. And, well, since I don't understand anything he does, I just kept driving.

· Thursday night, 2/28, at the Westwood Urban Outfitters. The store had closed five minutes prior when a couple girls and a guy try to make their way in. Of course, they were denied entry by the sales staff but then the man starts pleading, saying she knows what shirt she needs. The cashier relents and that's when a perky blonde runs over to the shirt table. As soon as she opened her mouth, I recognized her as America's favorite LDS nanny from American Idol, Brooke White. I guess they do pick out their own clothes after all. I'll be looking for that white long sleeved shirt this Wednesday.

· Feb 20 - Gosh-a-roony! Just saw Monty Hall and Gary Owens (Millenials, you can Wiki them) waiting for their cars with a couple equally-aged buddies outside Factor's...Seemed pleasant in demeanor...Just four dudes kibbitzing after lunch. I grew up watching Monty and Gary back in the good old three broadcast network days, so me thinks it's always good to see some of the old school still reprezent. Bye.

In today's episode: Don Cheadle; Aaron Sorkin and Rick Schroder; Gary Oldman; Matt Groening; Josh Duhamel and Fergie; John Lithgow; Jason Segel; Amy Smart and Branden Williams; Natasha Gregson Wagner; Tara Reid; Vernon Wells; A Martinez; Christopher Knight; Militia; David Leisure; and Angelyne.

· Feb. 13, 3:15 p.m.: While waiting for the 212 bus at the corner of Wilshire and La Brea, I saw Don Cheadle heading north in a silver Lexus that appeared to be a rental based on the wording on the rear window, fiddling with his Blackberry while waiting for the light to turn green. He seemed to be in a good mood, which I assume meant that the text on his device had nothing to do with Darfur.

· Aaron Sorkin classing up the lunchtime crowd at Orso, having a sweet Valentine's Day meal with what looked like his elderly agent. I couldn't hear their dialogue but I'm certain it was sharp and witty. No crack pipe in sight, although Sorkin did take an especially long time in the mens room. Just saying. Across the restaurant, Ricky Schroder and a publicist type. They were initially seated right next to us but asked to be moved to the back corner. Apparently the Ricker needs his privacy. While we're chatting, how sweet would a Sorkin-penned "Silver Spoons" revival be? I'd watch just to see how he could turn the train in the living room into an unsubtle commentary on the war in Iraq.

· Gary Oldman seen on Saturday night at Peppone's in Brentwood. He was hosting a very small private birthday dinner for his best friend in the little private room behind the bar. Gary in a suit looked dashing and Olivier-like. With him was his stunning date, the same Lady he has been seen with during the past months.

· I saw Matt Groening on my Virgin flight to SF on Friday evening (2/15). He was by himself and had a seat in first class. I so wanted to say something to him, but what's there to say that hasn't been said before? My girlfriend heard him call his mother as we walked past him. He's a mensch.

· On Saturday afternoon (1-16) me and my lovely lady (and her lumps) were hunkering down for a pre-wedding nosh with her mom on the patio at I Cugini in Santa Monica. Next to me sat a ridiculously good-looking guy, sipping a beer, with hair that looked like it had been used to mop the floor of a Crisco plant. Across from him sat a woman with an enormous pair of shiny glossy lips under a pair of outsized sunglasses and floppy hat. So low-key were they that I didn't recognize them as Josh Duhamel and Fergie until my fiancee whispered it to me. The bling must've given it away; she was sporting a rock the size of a disco ball.

· Spotted John Lithgow enjoying a casual meal at Comme Ca last night (2/12). He is very tall and very polite. It probably wouldn't be worth mentioning, but I loved "3rd Rock from the Sun" too much not to get a lil excited. Or maybe that was just the tasty french onion soup.

· Saturday, 2/16 — Jason Segel looking dapper at Bar Marmont. He is one towering motherfucker.

· Friday night (2/15) at the newly opened Akasha in Culver City, Amy Smart with fiance Branden Williams. Akasha Richmond herself immediately came out to greet them shortly after as they were seated and spent probably a good 15 minutes away from the kitchen chatting them up. Then some other guy (manager, possibly) came over and talked their ears off for a while longer. Branden seemed to enjoy the attention somewhat but Amy looked like she just wanted to eat in peace, and who could blame her.

· Had a weird experience at Canele in Atwater Village last night. Was having dinner with friends when I noticed a very attractive woman at a nearby table. I thought, "God, she looks familiar. Do I know her? Did we go out once? If we did... why aren't we married? Hope she's on Nerve or Match or something." Then I realized that my future wife was Natasha Gregson Wagner... and felt like a total jerk for staring at her. The beef bourguignon was amazing, though. Good times.

· Toluca Lake Thursday 3pm

Tara Reid enters building that houses a lot of reality tv production companies flanked by several black suited agent types.

Tara looks anorexic, tanorexic and drunk but I say whatever reality show she is pitching they should buy because she is a rough looking Hot Mess Trainwreck.

Note: This has not been posted by Tara Reid's representatives

· Saw everyone's favorite blonde, Tara Reid, at a Blockbuster on the west side this afternoon. (Feb 14) Could not see what she rented but she did have trouble with her credit card - forgot she had it cancelled.

· 2/14 While waiting in line for a table at the Pantry for a post Aretha Franklin concert pork chop, noticed a guy paying who looked he could have passed for Freddie Mercury at one time. Took about half a minute to figure out that I was looking at Vernon Wells, you might know him as Bennett from "Commando." Seemed like a nice enough guy out for the night to "blow off some steam."

· Good thing it wasn't the Visa Black card! Rides in a sweet Porsche!

· Feb. 14 - A Martinez at the Thousand Oaks Mall. Hanging around Penney's (like he was waiting for someone) then popped into The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Very handsome and friendly, but didn't draw attention to himself. He seemed like a nice guy.

· Saw Christopher Knight (the Brady, not the art critic, though wouldn't that mix-up make for an AWESOME "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode?) at the table next to us at La Boheme last night, having dinner sans La Curry with two others. Dude has a very small head relative to his body. His friends made the waiter take a photo of the three of them at the table — evidently it is not enough to eat dinner with Peter Brady; one must have photographic proof as well. I was *this close* to making rabbit ear's behind his wee little head (and based on how we were seated, I totally could have pulled it off), but chickened out at the last minute.

· Saturday, 2-16, 1ish, Gold's Gym on Cole: An American Gladiator sighting! And not just any AmGlad, but Militia — the gayporniest one of them all! Dude was bedecked in Militiawear— meshy, khaki, vesty number. Face kind of like a gargoyle or one of those scary devil masks. Not speaking or looking at anyone. Just whaling on those pythons. Guy's got a helluva day job— I'd probably be in the gym too. Oh wait—I was.

· File this under 'not much of a sighting - but I'll submit it anyway' - David Leisure of Empty Nest fame - circa 1988 was in Trader Joe's Valencia Wednesday 2/13 wearing cargo pants and a blue sweater. I said 80's right? Took me a while to realize who he was - yet thanks to Golden Girl reruns and cross-over characters, the ah-ha moment hit me. I saw him do his shtick to the woman offering free linguine and clam sauce with a side of garlic toast sampler plate. He walked around with the typical 'don't you know who I used to be' look - whilst trying to act normal and fit in with the 'rest' of us shoppers.

Angelyne at Rexall at 5:20pm on Sunday, February 17th. She didn't actually park in a legal spot ... Just sprawled across the entrance.

In today's episode: Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong; Justin Timberlake; Susan Sarandon; Kiefer Sutherland; David Beckham; Courtney Love; Lindsay Lohan, Balthazar Getty, Taryn Manning, Avril Lavine and Deryck Whibley; David Spade and Verne Troyer; Anne Heche; Adrian Grenier; James Cromwell, Jeremy Sisto, Lake Bell, and Dita Von Teese; Kyle MacLachlan, Chad Lowe, and Bridget Moynahan; John Mayer; Andy Dick; Christina Ricci; Greg Germann; Ian Ziering; Enrico Colantoni, Judy Reyes, and Curt Smith; Scott Caan; Wanda Sykes; Diablo Cody; Greg Grunberg; Daniel Baldwin; Jason Segal; Zoe Bell; Vanessa Paradis; Nathan Fillion; and Adnan Ghalib.

· Monday 2/11 — Saw MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY spending some of his Fools Gold at Cut. He was having dinner with LANCE ARMSTRONG. Just the two of them ... alone. Two guys dressed very casually sharing wine, steak, and conversation. Matthew's hair was cut very short like Lance's - perhaps they've found their leading man for whatever LiveStrong biopic that's surely in the works.

· On Saturday (2/9) I ran into Justin Timberlake — as in, he got in my way and we accidentally sort of collided — in the lobby of the Ojai Valley Athletic Club. He was there playing basketball with some hot hanger-on chicks and a few (local?) dudes. Very strange.

· Last night (2/10), Susan Sarandon at an outdoor table at the restaurant at the Beverly Wilshire. My friends and I had to do a triple-take because we were arguing that the woman we were looking at was way too young to be Susan Sarandon. Seriously, I'm gayer than a pink hairnet, and this woman was beautiful as hell. Gracious with the staff, blah blah. I'd go on, but I don't want to be accused of being her publicist. Sorry to gush.

· 2.8.08 - Saw Kiefer Sutherland at The Roxy. It was a showcase for the three bands on his record label. He had on jeans, black shirt and a gray blazer. The man is very good looking in person. He was wonderful about stopping and talking to fans and signing autographs. He seemed to be having fun with his friends and kept a very low profile.

· Crawling along Santa Monica Blvd in Beverly Hills on Tuesday afternoon (2/12), none other than Britain's gift to America, David Beckham rides past going down Rodeo Dr. in his convertible Porsche. Along for the ride were at least two of his sons, looking suspiciously unrestrained. Tsk Tsk Becks!

· Courtney Love unnecessarily raising hell at the Troubadour, 11 pm, Thursday night: I was at the Troub to see the Morning Benders open for the Kooks. It was sold out to the gills, so I camped out on the VIP staircase to watch from above. Courtney comes tearing up the stairs, with a blond minion in tow and no VIP pass. When the nice security guy asked her to please leave the VIP area, she said, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" The security guy then had a long talk with her to convince her that he was serious about not permitting her in the area, at which point the blond minion RAN to get her a pass. A pissed Courtney stood there grudgingly until the woman came back with the wristband. She waved the wristband in the security guy's face, and tried to brush by him once again. At which point he informed her that she needed to put the wristband ON. News flash: The world is over Courtney Love and her rockstar bullshit. When is Courtney going to get over it, too?

· Well I guess the quiet neighborhood Italian restaurant my parents love is now the hottest meal ticket in town. Last night, Thursday, Feb 7, at Madeo: Lindsay Lohan with brown hair, Balthazar Getty & wife, Taryn Manning & Boyfriend (Mams Taylor), pre fight and leaving in a black Rolls Royce Phantom, as Avril Lavine and Deryck Whibley arrived in their black SUV. What a night!

· A bearded David Spade and shockingly tiny Verne Troyer chilling together last night (2/7) in the most visible entry area of Ketchup on Sunset. Laughing and drinking and skeezing out on the Playmate-types circling them. Could someone please give these two a basic-cable reality show? Like, now? I'll make it easy for you, VH1 junior alternative development exec. Just cut and paste this PrivacyWatch sighting into an email and send to your boss. I won't even ask for a commission.

· Anne Heche dining with 2 or 3 other peeps at Mercedes Grill in MDR last night, Feb 7. Pretty & petite with a black fedora that she surprisingly pulled off while simultaneously wearing cargo pants. She's a smoker, yuck.

· Just saw Adrian Grenier, looking mighty scruffy at the MOCA opening tonight. Didn't really see who he was with, but it seemed like he was being left alone. I wonder if he Jacksoned the Pollock out of anyone after the show.

· Fun times at Hugo's in West Hollywood, Sunday February 10: The inexplicably famous Dita Von Teese (who's notability, as far as I can tell, is due only to having been married to a mid-level rock star, as emulating styles of 60 years ago and removing said styles in the 'burlesque' fashion is, no matter how well it is done, neither unique nor worthy of such fame).Far more exciting was our second viewing of prominent Oscar-nominated 'that guy' James Cromwell, the ever delightful Jeremy Sisto (who my fiancee insists bears uncanny resemblance to Skeet Ulrich, who was not there and the comparison isn't true anyway) and the underrated Lake Bell (also the second time we've seen her there). Sisto, on leaving after a quick coffee with someone I didn't recognize, proceeded to have friendly conversations with both Cromwell (a 'Six Feet Under reunion' as commented by the lady at a table nearby) and Bell.

· Today, Sunday 2/10, was a fabulous day at Hugo's on Santa Monica! First, Dita von Teese walked in, wearing a great 40s-style outfit and looking flawless as always. Her skin is to die for! Then, I saw Jeremy Sisto from Six Feet Under and Clueless...he was scruffy but looking good! He ate and then lingered outside for a while talking to some girls. Also at Hugo's was his Six Feet co-star James Cromwell! He was so, so tall! Jeremy and James saw each other after a while and had a friendly hello.

· Friday 2/8, at the Rhett Miller show at the Troubadour, Bridget Moynahan wearing a Giants hat (kidding!) and looking good post-Brady Baby. Also Chad Lowe looking, well, like Chad Lowe.

Also, Monday 2/11 at the Stairs in Santa Monica, John Mayer slowly walking off the champagne and caviar from Grammy night.

· Prior to going to the Rhett Miller show at the troubadour on fri (2/8) my friend and I hit Lou on Vine for a bite and some vino... sitting near the bar was agent Dale Cooper, Kyle MacLachlan. He wears the hell out of a pair of Levi's. Hit the show, Rhett was amazing, no surprise there, but as we were leaving Bridget Moynahan came down from the VIP section looking for Rhett. She looked great, was with some girlfriends....

· Friday February 8th - Went to the Woods where Andy Dick, in the spirit of Adrian Grenier, asked if he could "blank" the "blank" out of me. I declined, and he proceeded to chat up a booth of blondes, who must have been more receptive.

Later that same night, I saw a blonde Christina Ricci at Denny's, accompanied by an two older gentlemen. I'm not sure of what she ordered, but she looked very cute with no makeup.

· Feb 7 - At a party in Chinatown for Dwell Magazine. Bizarrely, so is Andy Dick —drinking beer (is he supposed to be sober?) — and he's chatting with Greg Germann from Ally McBeal. Picture attached.

· Sunday 2/10: Hiking Runyon Canyon with a friend was Ian Ziering. Later, at Studio City Jamba Juice, spotted Judy Reyes from Scrubs. Then at the upstairs California Pizza Kitchen, Enrico Colantoni (Just Shoot Me & Veronica Mars) was eating lunch with his family. At the next table Curt Smith from Tears for Fears (!!!) was having lunch with his daughters and helping them color. So cute.

· Yesterday (2/5) my friends and I spotted Scott Caan of Oceans 11,12,13, etc fame at the Whole Foods at Santa Monica and Fairfax. He wearing one of those hats, like a fedora but smaller (porkpie?). He was also wearing black Chucks. Typical Hollywood short but definitely do-able.

· Writing this on my cell, so it will be short. Right now (5:30pm on Monday, Feb 11) Wanda Sykes at Marix in WeHo. Walked in with a guy and a girl.

· 2/06 at the new retail space called: Grove, one Diablo Cody, looking just like her EW illo!

· On my way to work Downtown today (Feb 6) and was walking past the Original Pantry and saw Greg Grunberg, (OFFICER PARKMAN from HEROES) standing outside waiting. He was texting on his phone and he caught me staring and then I pulled out my phone so I think he was waiting for me to go for it, but I felt silly. And also I could feel him reading my thoughts about the whole situation...

About an hour ago I was walking to 3rd street promenade from a parking garage on 2nd, when someone asked me for a light. It was a VERY drunk Daniel Baldwin! Any other time, I wouldn't have batted an eye, but one of my guilty pleasures just happens to be Celebrity Rehab (I know, I can't help it). So seeing Daniel drunk was quite a shock! I didn't say anything for fear he would lose it, so I obliged and lit his cigarette. Then he staggered off alone without saying thank you. I guess Celebrity Rehab really doesn't work.

· 2/1 Was forced to go to a series of one act plays friday night and not happy about it. Was excited, however, when I saw Jason Segal of How I Met Your Mother sitting in the front row. I've crushed on him since Freaks and Geeks! I assumed he was there to support a fellow writer or actor. Spotted him again during intermission kissie-facing one of the actresses in the play:( As much as I wanted to hate her - she was gorgeous - I couldn't because she was hilarious in the show and incredibly sweet when I told her great job which,yes, also allowed me to get closer to my crush.

· Wednesday 02/05 Death Proof's Zoe Bell drinking a PBR and checking out the art at the imuhwherwulf opening at the Thought Gallery in Hollywood. In person she was a total double threat. Not only was she very pretty but she looked like she could beat up half the dudes there. Granted half the guys there were wearing girl's jeans but still.

· Today (10-Feb) I was enjoying a gorgeous day at Disneyland's California Adventures when I should happen to look over and see Vanessa Paradis, Johnny Depp's "girl", (as he refers to her). She was with their young son Jack who looked to be having a fantastic time and a Disney VIP Liaison. I didn't see their daughter nor the Demon Barber himself. I think I was pretty much the only person in the vicinity to have any clue who she was.

· Tuesday 2/5 Nathan Fillion (you'll always be captain tight pants to me) with a lady friend taking in Wicked at the Pantages.

· 2/11 - Last night, I watched professional toolbox, Adnan Ghalib, dining with a young coquettish brunette at SFValley celebrity haunt Hugo's Studio City. He had an animated conversation outside whilst re-read the menu - thrice. I was surprised to see the amount of bling he was wearing, and watched him inappropriately touch the waitress on her arm. I need to bathe again...he makes me feel greasy. Who do these people think they are?

In today's episode: Oprah Winfrey; Carla Gugino and Elizabeth Berkley; Brad Pitt and Zahara; Alec Baldwin; Kiefer Sutherland; Dave Chapelle; Forest Whitaker; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy; Woody Harrelson; James Spader; Tim Roth; Lisa Kudrow; Rob Schneider; Dylan McDermott; Gil Bellows, Ken Olin, Justin Kirk, and Cameron Crowe; Mischa Barton; Jason Segel; Adam Levine; Emilie de Ravin; Seth Binzer; and Luenell.

· Monday 4th Feb, heading to Runyon Canyon, stopped at the gas station at Sunset & Fairfax for some much needed agua. Dude took my money & then continued his conversation with another customer..."so, looks like your guy is two points ahead". A glance at said customer revealed none other than OPRAH WINFREY! Took me a sec to realize it was her - huge D & G wraparounds, black tracksuit and girlfriend...that is some booty ya got going on. Let's hope the snacks she was perusing were for the 2 white yapping small dogs in the Merc outside. As if that's not enough, descending from said hike, passed two fresh faced beauties talking & walking up the hill. CARLA GUGINO & ELIZABETH BERKLEY. Both cute & skinny...no surprise there.

· I was headed to see "Cloverfield" at The Grove when I heard some commotion behind me. I turned to see Brad Pitt carrying Zahara and being accosted by a tenacious paparazzi photog. The guy was a total pest, but Pitt kept his cool. As he shook the photo-spaz, I heard Pitt reassuring Z. that everything was okay and basically apologizing to her that she had to go through that. I felt bad, but quickly thereafter felt worse for myself that I had to shell out $11.50 to see somebody shoot a home movie of Godzilla.

· Alec Baldwin Friday 2/2 at the Starbucks in Studio City. Contrary to his well-known cellphone-screaming history, though, he was quiet and polite. Waited in line, tipped well and held the door for people on the way in and out. That peacoat and widewale cords weren't doing him any favors, though. He was looking, um, stocky, to say the least.

· Saw Kiefer at Spaceland in Silverlake last night (Jan 31). He went straight for the door despite the huge line, apparently to ask if Castledoor had already played. He was very apologetic about cutting in line to the girls at the front; after he talked to the doorman he went and hung out on the curb with a male friend until someone insisted they come in. He was all smiles, wearing an Iron Workers' Union jacket. Good to see him on the Eastside.

· Jack Bauer likes indie rock?! I was at Spaceland last Thursday night for the final, packed night of buzz band the Airborne Toxic Event's residency there, and who is standing right in front of me but the recently-released Kiefer Sutherland, who arrived early to brave the line. (It was, by the way, the longest line I have ever seen at the Silver Lake club.) He stayed from the beginning of the night all the way through the headlining band's set, singing along with the tunes and telling his friends how much he loved it. Afterwards, he hung around for a bit, taking some pictures with the violin girl from ATE and shooting the shit with the guys from the Deadly Syndrome. Who knew Jack Bauer had such good taste in music?

· Feb 1. - Dave Chapelle keeping it low profile at Swingers on Beverly. He looked a little thin but that might be because I've gotten so fat because of this strike. Come back, Dave, we need you.

January 30 - Forest Whitaker at the gas station on Beverly and Fairfax. Sweet Beamer! I had to hold myself back from telling him how beautiful his wife looked at the SAG awards.

January 27/28 - Drew Barrymore and Justin Long at the Apple Store at the Grove. Giggling as they read the blog 100 Days in Bed. Zexy!

· 2/3, about 5:15 p.m.: It's not every day that you see Oscar nominees-slash-Emmy winners at the local drugstore. Well, it's kinda every day here. But that doesn't make it less cool that, while making a Super Bowl halftime meal run, I ran into Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy at the Rite-Aid on La Brea and Santa Monica. They looked adorably normal with their two cute little daughters, even with Bill's crew cut and mustache - must be for a movie, I hope think.

· Was going to Maha Yoga in Brentwod tonight (Jan 26) and a dude wearing no shoes (just white tube socks?) opened the door for me. It was none other than Woody Harrelson. He asked at the front desk if they had any sandals, but the lady told him they only had women's left. I overheard him chitchatting about his trip to Kentucky to promote some sort of system that turns poop into drinking water. The other two members of the Shirtless Stoned Triumvirate were nowhere to be found; maybe next week.

· Saturday 2/2 at Sushi Ike on Hollywood Blvd I was seated across from James Spader. He looked good in his dark-rimmed glasses and younger than recent pics I've seen. He was with a hot-but-age-appropriate redhead and one of his sons, who looks like Fred Savage circa 1995. No really, a lot like Fred Savage. When he left he bid a large and friendly farewell to the staff and chefs.

· Not sure if this was overreported to you guys or not, but TIM ROTH was all over the Health/Autolux show last Friday at the El Rey (2/1). He was taking photos of the band from all over the sides of the stage, striding confidently out of the side stage door area (presumably for no reason, I'm sure they have bathrooms and booze backstage), and kind of weirding out all the indie rock fans in general. What's that guy from Pulp Fiction doing here? was a question wafting about the area - I also reminded them he was "the bad guy in Rob Roy".

Here's an unconvincing photo I tried to take of him as he snapped away during the Autolux set.

· Was at the 7:05 showing of 27 Dresses at the AMC Century City 15 on Sat night. Lisa Kudrow was sitting next to me with her friend. Both seemed to enjoy the movie, and their small bags of popcorn. No one made of big deal of this

· Saw Rob Schneider in a sloppy red tee shirt having lunch with a buddy at real food daily today. (2/5)

· Weds, January 30 - Dylan McDermott waiting for his car in a strip mall off of Santa Monica Blvd. I assume he'd had lunch at Hamasaku. Was really nice - when the valet accidentally handed my friend's car keys to him, he joked about switching cars!

· The strike-bearded masses convened at the Ryan Adams show on 1/31, including: mustachioed Gil Bellows, paunchy Ken Olin, dreamy Justin Kirk (who hopefully found special appreciation for the pot jokes), frequent attendee Cameron Crowe, and that chick who played "Jane Doe" on Grey's Anatomy (imdb says her name is Elizabeth Reaser). I'm sure there were others, but I was hypnotized by Spacewolf for most of the show.

· Saw Mischa Barton last night (2/4) sucking face with some scrappy dude in a booth at the Rainbow Bar & Grill...

· feb 1, The 'Ho, How I Met Your Mother/Knocked Up's Jason Segel smoking a ciggy in front of Basix. tall and smoking nerd hot, rocking a scarf while waiting for a friend. i'd hold his bong any day, earthquake or not.

· Adam Levine at Katsuya Hollywood last night (2/3/08), pretty trendy sighting at a pretty trendy place. He was with a group of hipster guys and girls, they were there for a few hours and seemed to be enjoying the delicious yellowtail.

· Feb 6 - I saw "Lost" star Emilie de Ravin at the Farmers Market's Monsieur Marcel market the other day. She was buying red wine and no one recognized her. Looks like she's spent her strike downtime eating.

· Jan 5: Seth Binzer in Van Nuys traffic court: He looked like a mohawked butterfly in his bejeweled green hoodie and gilded t shirt. I had randomly caught the first episode of Celebrity Rehab, otherwise I would have thought he was just a regular douche, not a sober celebrity douche. Seth Binzer had some photo copies of rehab completion certificates, and the look on his face was proud. He explained he had missed multiple court dates because he was in "several recovery centers" and I swear he looked about to name drop Dr. Drew. I think the judge had seen the show too, because he was much less condescending to old Shifty Shellshock than he was to the rest of us. After explaining that while going to rehab voluntarily is commendable, it's no excuse for missing court dates, the judge knocked his fines down to about a grand. One can only imagine what they were to begin with. His violations were kind of weird, including driving a vehicle without mirrors. Just when I thought this guy was gonna be the only one of us not publicly put in our place by this just judge, Seth asked for a One-Stop. The judge said, "I've never heard of a One-Stop." Seth said, "Yeah! This guy in line told me that since I was here I could go ahead and take care of this other ticket I got in Sherman Oaks and-" The judge cut him off and said, "No son. That's why you don't listen to jail house lawyers or guys standing in line. You have to take care of all your court appearances individually. You cannot do a One-Stop." I didn't see if the judge used scare quotes or not, but it sounded that way.

After Seth met with the cashier he said to his one man entourage "I got six months to pay this. After six months, I'm gonna reassess." I wish him the best.

· Feb 5 We saw Luenell— the prositute from Borat — dining with girlfriends at Chinois Monday night.