Not that "gay Batman'' isn't redundant. We've had our suspicions about the Dark Knight's proclivities since the heyday of Fredric Wertham. The latest iteration keeps Robin locked away in Batman's closet (who do you think is, ahem, redecorating Wayne Manor?) and Katie Holmes isn't around doing beard duty this time. But you'd have be in pretty deep denial not to pick up on the homoerotic hints. "You complete me,'' the Joker coos to the Dark Knight. ...

Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne does a lot of eyelash batting at his gushing new BFF Harvey ("you sure know how to throw a party!'') Dent, even teasing Harvey about his after-hours activities: "ballet?'' (Somewhere, Adam West is smiling). Why is the mayor of Gotham City wearing so much eyeliner? And who are we kidding, aren't Alfred and Lucius clearly a pair of old queens fussing over dressing up their leather-clad protege? Holy Aunt Harriet! Mamma Mia! is no less gay, but at least it's more or less out and proud. What do you think?

We think you're full of shit, actually, but we appreciate the effort! Next up: Space Chimps as homoerotic experimentation fantasy. Discuss! Or... not.

• Which is Gayer, 'Dark Knight' or 'Mamma Mia!' ? It's Pretty Close [NYP]

WHAT'S NEW: Look, what more can we say about The Dark Knight? It's terrifically well-made, it's tracking hotter than train on fire and even Terry Gilliam backslid his way into publicizing it. All that matters anymore are the numbers: Warners is unloading this thing on more than 9,000 screens worldwide, including 4,366 in the US. That's a record, reports Variety, though word on the street is that its 152-minute running time and multiplex competition will keep it from breaking Spider-Man 3's record $151 million opening last year. We're not so sure; $145 million isn't out of the question, especially with IMAX screenings sold out literally everywhere and overflow heading into neighboring theaters.

Universal, meanwhile, has exactly the thing for the Batman-o-phobic moviegoer in Mamma Mia!, the Meryl Streep-starring adaptation of the hit ABBA stage musical. We'd rather chew off our tongues than sit through this, but that doesn't mean it couldn't turn around a nice $32 million or so as pretty much the only escape from DK fever. Also opening: Not much, really, with the all-access doc A Very British Gangster and the Kilmer/Dorff prison drama Felon bringing up the art-house rear.

THE BIG LOSER: With Meet Dave presumably a top-10 goner, Fox faces its second consecutive hurdle this week with Space Chimps. This isn't necessarily a "loser," though, looking at roughly $9 million from the families too young for the decidedly dark Knight en route to its DVD/cable future. Call us optimists, but everyone might pretty much get what they want this weekend.

THE UNDERDOG: We recommend Lou Reed's Berlin with a slight reservation: We haven't seen it. But! We did attend the concerts at which Julian Schnabel filmed Reed's live revival of his 1973 masterpiece — a feel-bad epic of drugs, domestic abuse and suicide that makes The Dark Knight look like Batman and Robin. We can vouch for the cinematic quality of the music itself, brought storming from the dead by producer Bob Ezrin and accompanied by vocalist Antony and original, astounding session guitarist Steve Wagner. It took Reed years to reclaim this form (if he did at all; it's debatable), and to catch it through Schnabel's lens, itself at the top of its craft... Well, that doesn't even seem fair.

FOR SHUT-INS: This week's new DVD's include the crackling, commendable Jason Statham heist flick The Bank Job; the Oscar-short-lister Brazilian coming-of-ager The Year My Parents Went on Vacation; the B-thriller Asylum ("From the director of Final Destination 2"!); and for you Emmy-season latecomers, the first season of Holly Hunter's TNT drama Saving Grace.

So, how's the line for Dark Knight? Are are you Team ABBA this weekend? Maybe catching up a bit on your Statham canon? We can't say we blame you. Tell us any best-kept secrets we might have missed!

To wit: Please! Make! The Heath Ledger posthumous Oscar talk! Stop!

"That's what Warner Brothers are saying, but they'll do anything to publicize their film," says Gilliam who was directing Ledger in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus in January only days before the Australian actor died at the age of 28 of an accidental prescription drug overdose.

"That's just what they do and you can't get upset because it's bull—--. They're like a great white shark which devours whatever it can."

To be fair, it was Parnassus that coincidentally (or otherwise) launched its official Web site in the days after Ledger's death, when the film was in limbo with its fate yet to be determined. And Ledger is still set to appear in Gilliam's fantasy, their first collaboration following the poorly received The Brothers Grimm in 2005. Parnassus benefits as much from the Ledger hype as The Dark Knight, the majority of which — let's face it — owes to the actor OD-ing at 28 than Warners pimping out a legitimately grand film.

Still, there is a certain ghastliness to it all. We recall interfacing with Ledger around the time of Brokeback Mountain, his naturally squirmy, nail-biting press-day tics exacerbated by his unchecked loathing of The Oscar Question. But at least he could deflect it, which he did in a manner closer to self-defense than self-effacement. It came up again and again — he hated the race, the hype, the politicking, the earnestness, and mostly the shadow over his co-stars, Ang Lee and others. And that was at year's end, when the mention (and arguably even the award) made relative sense against what preceded it.

But it's July, people. We know another nomination must be be coming, but if these vultures can't let the guy rest in peace, at least let him work in peace. There's only so much hype to go around — he's still got to do press for Gilliam's movie, for Christ's sake.

• Article Name [The Telegraph]

10. Tom Cruise, Top Gun

9. Renee Zellwegger, Chicago

8. Keira Knightley, Edge Of Love

7. Nicole Kidman, Moulin Rouge

6. Rupert Everett, My Best Friend's Wedding

5. Diane Keaton, Radio Days

4. Scarlett Johansson, Lost In Translation

3. Gwyneth Paltrow, Infamous

2. Zooey Deschanel, Elf

1. Heath Ledger, 10 Things I Hate About You

• Kate Hudson Joins Cast of Movie Musical Nine [People]

Follow the jump for their respective two cents — mostly spoiler-free for even the most casual followers of the film, and naturally among the finest criticism available anywhere online.

STV: We should probably go into this acknowledging that the film is review-proof and completely saturated with things too interesting to spoil.
STV: That said, I just thought it was pretty good.
SA: I thought it was excellent!
STV: Yeah, yeah, fine. It's fitfully brilliant, but so heavy-handed. Did I miss something?
SA: Nope. This was the summer 2008 superhero movie for people who enjoy feeling awful, and thinking about feeling awful, and expressing what makes feeling awful so gosh darn wonderful.
STV: Iron Man this is not.
SA: It's misanthropy porn. It's also the bluest superhero movie I've ever seen, in every sense of the word.
STV: Right. From the start, too — those billowing blue flames, the Hong Kong horizons, Gotham at night.
STV: And yeah, everyone's depressed as hell.
SA: But that said, I don't think a single scene passed by that I didnt feel worked. And it was a long movie.
STV: What about the story? I was lost.
SA: The story was fine. Corrupt city government. Crime infested streets.
SA: It was sort of The Departed with bat-gadgets.
STV: But the Joker shows up wanting a piece of Teflon goombah Eric Roberts, the Russians, the blacks, and a Hong Kong money-laundering syndicate.
SA: Its the Mafia Olympics!
STV: Even if Gotham City is totally corrupt, it's the most equal-opportunity corruption in history, which I guess should be commended.
SA: Speaking of the Joker, what did you think of Heath?
STV: Heath was annoying.
STV: It's not his fault. Nolan couldn't rein him in.
SA: I was prepared for him to be annoying, but I actually really enjoyed him.
SA: I mean, its The Joker! This isn't a portrait in subtlety. You want hyena cackles!
STV: But look — and this is my problem with the whole movie: The audience is overwhelmed with moralizing.
SA: Yes, I'll agree it got bogged down in speechifying.
STV: The Joker is the default "Man, this world is fucked" mouthpiece, but his actions — just his very look — defy the monologues, the hamminess.
STV: He needs an origin story like the Burton Joker, right? Who the hell is this guy?
SA: Yeah — their not committing to his backstory was a strong choice, but I'm not sure it really helped them.
SA: But I think they were trying to say, "What does it matter where he came from?" Like, what does it matter where any psychopath comes from? He's chaos. But then you have no psychological in, so he's less interesting.
STV: Alfred the Butler touches on it: "Some people just want to watch the world burn."
SA: Yeah, but that doesn't satisfy dramatically.
STV: Even that was kind of overbearing.
SA: Nolan was reaching high with this. He obviously wanted the monologues.
STV: He's a great director, though, right? I mean, this film looks, feels, sounds amazing.
SA: That's why your quibbles don't bother me. This is his ride, and it's spectacular, and if he wants his speeches about human nature, I'll listen to them.
SA: He chose great actors to deliver them.
STV: But he's so much better at subterranean truck chases and high-altitude kidnappings. I want overturned big rigs!
SA: Well, luckily there's tons of those. And 180-degree, wall-flipping Bad Pods.
STV: And the Bat-Blobile. What was that? The Batmobile was a hulking blob of scrap on wheels.
SA: It was batass.
STV: OK, give me one-line summaries of the following actors' performances: Christian Bale.
SA: Obscene caller voice.
STV: Aaron Eckhart.
SA: Boringly delicious!
STV: Maggie Gyllenhaal.
SA: Made the most of the whiny token female.
STV: Michael Caine.
SA: Should have let him out of the fluorescent Batchamber more.
STV: He's basically a cockney Jiminy Cricket serving breakfast. How about Morgan Freeman?
SA: If God and Q had a kid.
STV: Gary Oldman.
SA: He gets swallowed up in it. He's one of the best actors ever.
STV: I think he's the best thing about it.
SA: Is he?
STV: He's a guy pulled 15 different ways, very flawed, vulnerable, and at his best when things are out of his control. He gets to work when shit hits the fan, while everyone else just sort of... talks.
SA: What did you think of Batman's voice?
STV: I didn't quite get it.
SA: Me neither. It was silly.
STV: He never closes his mouth when he talks, either! It lets all the air out of the big, portentous balloon.
STV: Is Heath Oscar-worthy?
SA: He'll definitely get a nomination.
SA: I sort of think the movie itself deserves a Best Picture nomination. It's just so ambitious and epic and so expensive-looking.
STV: This movie is going to make a fortune, right? I'm calling $140 million for the weekend plus $2 billion in damage caused by rioting fans worldwide.
STV: And I am a believer in IMAX.
SA: Oh, definitely. Those scenes were so cool.
STV: Bad format for preachy screenwriter moralizing, excellent format for hospital implosions and 10-minute chase sequences.
SA: OMG — that hospital. Yeah, I really loved this movie.
STV: It's not bad. I'll stick with Iron Man.
SA: Iron Man was fun; this was a nice compliment.
STV: The Dark Knight: Nihilism for the whole family.

Around 1:15 AM this morning cops tell us they responded to a report of a person peeing in the parking lot outside the wing joint, causing a disturbance.

Once there, they stopped a van and found Dick in the passenger seat. He was arrested for allegedly groping a 17-year-old girl's breasts and pulling her top down.

When he was searched, cops say they found weed and one Xanax in his front pants pocket.

We've included the inevitable side-by-side of Dick's mugshot with Heath Ledger's Joker—freakishly similar down the clump of seaweed hanging off their heads and that menacing, "I'm on the list" look in their eyes. They'll both give you nightmares tonight, but only one will probably get an Oscar nomination for their Method madness—and it won't be for outstanding supporting work in Blonde Ambition.

• Dick Busted on Sex Charges Outside Chicken Joint [TMZ]

And what of claims made by Shrider, like that she nearly drowned the Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me star in a romantic bubble bath?

"There's no incident like that. She's coming up with things and telling media anything to make it interesting. I haven't seen everything she's done...The things she says just aren't true," he adds.

Must be awkward, then, considering the former couple still live together.

"She's still in the house," Troyer says, noting that he's taking legal action to force her out, but their situation "makes it even harder, to, you know, not strangle her."

But... how would that even work? Anyway, Troyer's pulling through with the help of friends, family and his lawyer, as well as by continued (if "dehydrated") work on films including Heath Ledger's unfinished final project, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. Recalling the late actor's troubled time on set ("He couldn't sleep because he was so wrapped up in the character of Joker in Batman. ... Throughout our shoot it was the same way"), a misty-eyed Troyer nevertheless insisted Ledger was not suicidal — anything but, really, with a Ledger heart sketch eventually making the rounds as the default Parnassus crew tattoo. Troyer pointed out his own on his right hand, conveniently obscuring the small Guru Pitka likeness he drunkenly had inked during production on The Love Guru. Thank God those days are behind him.

• Verne Troyer Talks Sex Tape, Heath Ledger's Death [Yahoo!]

He bugs his eyes and licks compulsively at the gashes that extend his mouth. He tries on different voices. First he sounds like Cagney in White Heat, then slides into a prissy singsong like Al Franken's Stuart Smalley, then throws in some fruity Brando flourishes and a dash of Hannibal Lecter...I couldn't take my eyes off him, but in truth, I found the performance painful to watch. Scarier than what the Joker does to anyone onscreen is what Ledger must have been doing to himself—trying to find the center of a character without a dream of one.

• The Dark Knight [Rotten Tomatoes]
• Bat Out of Hell [New York]

A hearty congratulations to Suri Cruise, whose highbrow taste in designer duds earned her a spot at the very top of the list (in full, here). And Tom's "stylish" little prisoner's ensemble this past 4th of July, with her flag antennae and plaid jumper, really showcase the 2-year old's sartorial eye. Shiloh pouted her way into second place, while none other than Violet Affleck received the bronze. Yes, pairing thick socks with that Ugg-ish footwear fad, "vibrant baby Crocs," really warrants the fashion spotlight. But we do award bonus points to OK! for including "typical hipster" Matilda Ledger on the list — Matilda's uncanny resemblance to her late dad is surprisingly comforting, especially in photos of the adorable 2-year old smiling.

[Photo credits: X17, Splash, Aussiebubblog]

• HOLLYWOOD'S BEST DRESSED LITTLE GIRLS [OK!]

That's about all we can say, really, without leaving it up to the spoilerphiles among you to decide for yourselves: Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhart, after the jump.

• 'Dark Knight' Spoiler Pics Confirm Heath Ledger Will Appear In Drag [Animal]

In a frenzy, fans have bought so many late-night tickets for the July 18 opening of the next Batman movie that theaters in places like San Diego, Chicago, and even Eagan, Minn., are scheduling 6 a.m. screenings for those who can't get in at midnight or 3 in the morning.

Movie theaters have sometimes opened their doors at odd hours for their most highly anticipated films, say, an entry in the Star Wars series, and midnight shows have become part of the summer blockbuster ritual.

But all-night sellouts far in advance of an opening have come only with the near ubiquity of online ticket sales. Fandango.com, for instance, reports well over 1,500 wee-hour showings for The Dark Knight in theaters that typically do not open their doors before about 10 a.m.

And don't even get us started about ticket retailers worming their ways into the story. Is it July 18 yet? We feel like we're soon to hit the Batwall.

• Many Movie Theaters Decide to Leave the Bat Signal on Till Dawn [NYT]

1) The “Collapse” That Wasn’t: First of all, who hasn’t tripped once or twice when leaving a bar? Secondly, when someone like little MK leaves a bar, she doesn’t find herself in some empty vacant parking lot — she’s surrounded by handlers, paparazzi towering something like twelve feet above her head, and maneuvering her way to a ride involves all kinds of obstacles, from curbs uneasily managed while wearing four-inch heels to flashbulbs making it nearly impossible to see where the hell she’s going. Stumbling (kind of gracefully) briefly during a clusterfuck like that does not a “collapse” make.

2) The Mythical Heath/Mary-Kate Romance Remains Purely...Mythical: We won’t point any fingers (since pointing one of those fingers at ourselves just isn’t fun), but more than a few gossips and reporters launched a baseless theory immediately following Ledger’s tragic death, that he and Olsen had been dating at the time. A few scattered clues, including his masseuse’s decision to call MK before the police, the possibility that Olsen owned the apartment Ledger had been renting, and her total silence post-tragedy, sort of suggested a possible romance. But for Star to affirmatively call the deceased Joker Mary-Kate’s “lover” is off the mark. Even if the two were in some way together, Olsen’s so-called grief arrives at an odd time; Ledger’s legend may include an Oscar come next winter, and MK is finally hitting her acting stride.

3) If Any Olsen Is Suffering Twin Envy, It’s Ashley: More than a few stories have popped up lately regarding the growing friction between Mary-Kate, who’s all but abandoned her Dualstar responsibilities for trapeeze lessons in China, and Ashley, who has so far kept up appearances as an active co-president. But everyone knows these girls have had stars in their eyes since ruining television before they could even speak. We don’t care how vehemently Ashley defends her working girl persona; need we remind her of a little role on her horizon in which she’ll partner with an ensemble cast to successfully destroy yet another Bret Easton Ellis novel by just not getting it on-screen?

[Photo credits: X17]

• BACK TO REHAB FOR MARY-KATE OLSEN? [Star]

EXT. A HIGHWAY — DAY ...

The Batmobile races off into the distance. Finally, BATMAN catches up to the JOKER's zeppelin.

JOKER
Howdy, Batman. Got time for a little... prank?

JOKER unleashes an all-out barrage of missiles, like the biggest fucking missiles you will ever see. BATMAN shoots his own back, and they all collide into each other in the middle of the highway releasing a violent explosion, and then, an explosion within that explosion, this time in slow motion, with tanks flying out of it.

Both BATMAN and JOKER eject from their vehicles, shooting themselves into helcopters. they they unleash even bigger missiles, which whizz past both of the helicopters, destroying the highway on the ground below. The action's not over yet, though, because in the distance there are still five more highways and, on top of them, a bridge.

And you know what? While we can't vouch for how Ledger's penultimate performance might have fared in the Bay biosphere (regardless of this joke script's authenticity), at this point we can't deny we'd mind living in the parallel universe where this script would not only be written, but this movie would be made.

• Christopher Nolan's 'Knight' vision [LAT]
>
• 'The Dark Knight' [Variety]
• Michael Bay's Rejected 'The Dark Knight' Script [Spill via TOH]

Follow the jump for an enlarged photo and all-too-brief description of the year's most macabrely marked-up memorabilia to date.

A taller-than-average one with the black canvas backrest having the star's name on the back and the Brokeback Mountain logo on the front, both in white lettering. Included is a 'certificate of authenticity' from Paramount Pictures and Focus Features indicating that Ledger used this chair during the film's production.

As mentioned, this single Ledger item towers above the belongings of icons before him, upsetting the delicate balance of marketplace power not just among A-list tchotchkes, but also among the burgeoning Brokeback auction subculture that previously foisted Jack Twist's shirt and even his pick-up truck on an unwitting auction scene. It's no accident those James Dean lifemasks are bringing up the rear at $400-$600 — this is Heath's world now, glorified dorm-room furniture and all.

• Lot No: 3136 [Bonhams via La Daily Musto]

CY: Have you ever come across any celebrities that have crossed over like a Heath Ledger for example and asked them how they are?

JVP: Very good question. Yes I have. Yes Heath Ledger has appeared to me. Two weeks after he died I was shaving and right behind on the right side in the mirror his face appeared and he said to me in my head that I screwed up. Now he knew me. We didn't know each other directly, but we had mutual friends and he knew what I did. He said I screwed up. Then he thought about his daughter and that was it. Then the next thing I heard about Michelle [Williams], his ex, at their apartment in Brooklyn she's been haunted by him twice. Once she was awakened at 3:00 AM by furniture moving and another time at 4:00 AM in the morning. She said she knew it was him. There was a shadowy figure at the end of her bed. She knows it's him. I do get a sense that he is restless right now and really wants to speak with her. Actually as I speak I am working on doing a reading for her.

Right. We see Van Praagh working up to a hot interdimensional three-way, with the celebrity medium polishing his best Aussie accent, packing an overnight bag to Brooklyn and coaxing Williams closer and closer for carnal affirmation from the Other Side. "Heath's right here, Michelle... We shaved together ... He asked us to call a sitter ... and go upstairs ... Heath's not wearing underwear, Michelle ..." On and on, right down to the furniture moving again and the customary, "Heath needs a cigarette." It's so touching we could almost cry.

• James Van Praagh [CYInterview]

[Eckhart] did say that the wounds are structurally deeper than in the comics: "There are fans on the Internet who have done artist's versions of what they think it will look like, and I can tell you this: They're thinking small; [director] Chris [Nolan] is going way farther than people think."

There were plenty of name actors lined up hoping to get the role of Two-Face, but in the end Nolan went with Eckhart because of his "complexity and this aura he has of a good man pushed too far," Nolan said. ... "The difference between Batman and Two-Face is how far they are willing to go and how they make their point," Eckhart said. "Otherwise, we're talking about vigilante crime-fighting. That's what Batman is all about. He has a strong sense of justice. And Harvey Dent has an extremely strong sense of justice. His fiancée is killed. He's horribly injured. But he is still true to himself. He's a crime fighter, he's not killing good people. He's not a bad guy, not purely."

Anyway, the new trailer online features a brief shot of Eckhart's good side, which as seen above, reveals none of the pitched grimness that we've been looking for since Nolan, Christian Bale and now Eckhart have been talking it up. In any event, we're still too emotionally wounded from last week's viral fanboy stampede to get worked up for this. The nightmares can't possibly get any worse; just give us time, Eckhart. We need time.

• Not just another pretty face in 'The Dark Knight' [LAT]

"The photogs had befriended Heath and invited him up to...party, never disclosing their true intentions. As Heath allegedly did coke, the photogs secretly videotaped the whole thing. When Heath realized what was happening, he went ballistic."

In light of rumors that scenes from The Dark Knight may be cut or altered due to screener audiences' discomfort while watching overly dark Ledger moments, coupled with the fact that Michelle Williams is due to promote her upcoming film Deception later this month, a lawsuit claiming Ledger's innocence is well-timed. So it's difficult to figure out if Jane Doe is acting out of good will in order to clean the late actor's record, or if she's simply a scorned ex looking to damage the rep of her former boyfriend's agency. Either way, the video (viewable here) does little to convince us that Ledger was actually using drugs the night he lost out on a SAG award for Brokeback Mountain in 2006. If the suit does see the light of day, we can at least take comfort in the plausibility that Ledger was simply blowing off steam with a cocktail, rather than rails, on that night.

• LAWSUIT OVER HEATH LEDGER AND ALLEGED COKE [TMZ]

A source close to Troyer, 39, says the actor was experiencing "flu-like symptoms."... Adds the source, "He's been working really hard on the film. They just wanted to hydrate him."

A rep for Troyer denied that he was treated for a drug-related problem. "Verne is fine and doing well and is back to work," the rep tells Us.

We wouldn't normally care to speculate about Troyer's potential for relapse here (he underwent treatment for alcoholism in 2006), but with Gilliam and Us Magazine both being who and what they are, we're not exactly choking on our grain of salt. Anyway, didn't new insurance regulations after Ledger's passing require all Gilliam principals to be under strict 24-hour supervision throughout production? And how much water does Verne Troyer really need in a day, anyway?

• 'Mini Me' Verne Troyer Hospitalized [Us]

"It was punk, it was A Clockwork Orange, it was druggie. It was this kind of fantastic, anarchic look to him. This character who had absolutely no rules whatsoever," said Christian Bale, who returns as rich guy Bruce Wayne and his crime-fighting alter-ego Batman. "That's not like any Joker I've ever seen before, what I saw Heath do." ...

"What I found in watching the movie myself is that you're not looking at the actor, you're not looking at the friend, you're not looking at the colleague," [said director Christopher Nolan.] "You're looking at the Joker. ... He inhabits this character, and it's an extraordinary icon, so it's easy to enjoy it on that level, just as a great piece of acting." ...

"He came out of the bloody lift like a whirlwind," [Michael] Caine recalled. "They said, `It's your line, Michael.' I said, `What is it?' Extraordinary. It will be one of the characters of next year, the Joker as played by him."

Germain notes that previous posthumously released films featuring the likes of James Dean, Spencer Tracy and both Bruce and Brandon Lee all managed wide audiences in the wake of their stars' deaths, as unfortunate a box-office boost as a film can possibly have. But other dead stars Natalie Wood and John Candy just couldn't open, and as such, the Dark Knight hype overlords are leaving nothing to chance with Bale and Co.'s inscrutable technical readings and even a rumored viral campaign of mini-hagiographies — I AM NOT OVER YOU, HEATH LEDGER — scrawled across trees, taxis and buses citywide. Keep your eyes peeled.

• Ledger's passing stokes Joker mania [AP]

"A series of documents filed in Manhattan Surrogate's Court revealed that the actor had less than $145,000 in New York assets at the time, including a $25,000 Toyota Prius and $20,000 in furniture and fixtures."

Both the Daily Mail and the NY Daily News are quick to speculate that Ledger most likely had trust funds, not to mention properties in Australia, but one of his priciest assets included the Brooklyn townhouse he'd shared with Michelle, originally bought in 2005 for $3.6 million. So why the (relatively) paltry sum given by the courts? As an estates specialist told the News, trusts and "jointly held assets" aren't included in Surrogate's Court findings. In the meantime, his father Kit has assured the press that Matilda and Michelle "will be taken care of," though the How factor is currently missing in the equation.

• FAMILY FEUD ERUPTS OVER HEATH LEDGER'S WILL AFTER DAUGHTER MATILDA IS LEFT OUT [Daily Mail]
• HEATH LEDGER ASSETS GIVEN TO PARENTS, SIBLINGS [NYDN]

Try, if you can, to tune out the grating commentators speculating as to Ledger's state of mind when he made this, and instead focus of the gorgeous "Dog" melody (so named for Winston Churchill's famous description of depression), and Heath's haunting, black and white visual accompaniment. The final scene, which they deem "too graphic for us to broadcast," reportedly depicts Ledger drowning himself in a baththub. Once you're done watching, we then suggest you hang out with these furry BFFs for a little while.

• A Current Affair AUS
• Heath Ledger's Video For Nick Drake Song: Eerie Postscript To Actor's Death [MTV]

We combed through the lengthy story so you don't have to; here are the takeaways.

· The day after the 2006 Oscars, for which he was nominated for Brokeback Mountain, he told a British filmmaking friend, "'I'll never make another good film again.'" According to the friend, "If this was what happened when you made a good film, he didn't think it was worth it. He found the whole thing absolutely harrowing. I think that after the Oscars, there was a kind of corner turned—and not a very good one."
· According to the magazine: "Todd Haynes remembers how the actor would lean on his fiancée when they were shooting [I'm Not There] in late summer 2006. 'The night before we were going to shoot a scene, he started to have a real panic about it,' says Haynes. "He had to call Michelle in New York, who talked him through relaxation methods to try to get him asleep. He said he was just curled up in a corner holding one of Matilda's stuffed animals, and he slept about an hour and came on set.'"
· After spending a night last summer partying at New York's Beatrice Inn with a friend named Nathan, Ledger and his friend invited two women back to Heath's new apartment on 421 Broome. "Nathan said, 'Heath can't see [the drugs here].' He was making an effort to protect him, and Heath was obviously in a vulnerable state. He said, 'Heath cannot see this stuff, he had problems, he's sober now.'"
· According to the article's author Chris Norris, "[Ledger] might have been better off if he had behaved more horribly, if he weren't so widely adored. An addict's best hope for recovery is being an intolerable asshole when he's using. And to say the least, few remember that kind of Ledger."

• ANALYZING THE DOUBLE LIFE OF HEATH LEDGER [NYM]

Earlier plans to replace Ledger with a new actor (say, Johnny Depp) haven't materialized. And despite Christopher Plummer's assertions to the contrary, it doesn't seem like CGI will save the day. While the quagmire will surely unravel itself (hopefully soon), we're instead choosing to focus our attentions on the teaser image itself (shown below): the pic reveals stage left of the traveling Imaginarium itself, made out of what looks like shredded cardboard, decked out with carnie lights, and topped off with quite the eerie all-seeing Eye of Providence.

• QUICK STOP EXCLUSIVE: THE FIRST TEASER IMAGE FROM 'THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS' [Quick Stop Entertainment]

• Heath Ledger Died of Accidental Overdose of Prescription Drugs [Usmagazine.com]
• M.E. Calls Ledger Death "Accident" [TMZ]

Exerting pressure by calling the producers of the two CBS Paramount programs, Portman and company were successful in convincing them to think long and hard before airing the footage; apparently, their not-so-veiled threats to never again allow Cojo and a camera crew to accompany them to their future pedicures or Robertson Blvd shopping sprees proved too potentially crippling to their fluff-segment interests to ignore, resulting in yesterday's unexpected announcement that the shows had suddenly discovered a newfound concern for how the video might affect Ledger's grieving family.

• Stars Pressure TV Shows to Nix Ledger Drug Video [ABC News]
• Previously: 'ET' /'The Insider' Pay Large Amount Of Money For, Then Slowly Back Away From Alleged Heath Ledger Drug Video [Defamer]

Warner is likely to alter some of its marketing campaign, which featured Ledger's image in the early going. A source close to the project says the plan all along was to start with the Joker and then segue to the image of Aaron Eckhart as Two-Face. In the film, Two-Face is in a love triangle with Rachel Dawes, played by Ma