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Battle Of The Teen Queens
Rising Disney Star Eyes Miley Cyrus' Tweenybop Throne, Earns Spot On All-Time Best Teen Feuds List
After a bumpy spring protecting and investing their billion dollar baby Miley Cyrus, today brings news that there may be additional troubles brewing over at the Mouse House. 15-year old Selena Gomez, the rising star of the newest Disney series Wizards Of Waverly Place, whose elevator pitch was most likely "Gossip Girl Meets Harry Potter Meets Charmed But Like, Happy!," is reportedly usurping the scandal-plagued Cyrus' dimming star power. Quietly crowned “The Next Miley Cyrus” by various newsies, the Miley lookalike (minus gummy smile, plus premature Jolie-level hotness) plays Alex, whose painfully ironic mantra is "cast magic first, ask questions later." But the turbulence among competing teens trying to catch their big break by stepping over their peers left and right is a trend as old as the Mousketeers’ first dimpled disciples. After the jump, we count down our top three favorite teen feuds of yesteryear. More »Billy Ray Cyrus's Touching Loyalty To Daughter Miley Underscored By Poignant Poop-Stomping Metaphor
Billy Ray Cyrus, virtue-hoarding father and achy-breaky-svengali to cultural tween phenomenon Miley Cyrus, appeared on The Today Show this morning, where for the first time he was made to address the now-infamous Virgin Miley study that recently graced the pages of Vanity Fair. An unwavering Meredith Vieira was determined to figure out where he was as photographer Annie Leibovitz crouched beneath a lighting umbrella, pressing two index fingers to her lips as she spitballed aloud, "For the next one, maybe lose the clothes, clutch that sheet to your chest, and give me your best 'Got Milk?' face." More »
Making Out With Miley
Those Highly-Anticipated Miley Cyrus 'First Kiss' Photos Worth $150K? Yeah, We Got 'Em Already
At this point, seeing photos of 15-year old Miley Cyrus posing topless or seductively baring her taut tummy for rumored paramour Nick Jonas is the very definition of old news. But when it comes to the tween millionaire appearing in photos actually kissing a boy (or, gasp, a girl!) in public, these photos would likely tighten a few paparazzo’s trousers. As the LA Times reports today, pictures of Miley’s “first kiss” could potentially earn one lucky photographer anywhere between $30k to $150k. And we are officially confused. Why? Well, we happen to have more than a few pictures of Miley making out with all kinds of suitors, starting back when she was 14. So where’s our cash? After the jump, see how the magic of Google can instantly debunk all the heated speculation on when Miley will have her first kiss, and when, oh when, will we get to see them. The time is now, Defamer readers: More »
agency hr
All Grown-Up Miley Cyrus Goes Agency Hopping to UTA
Congratulations to the gang at United Talent Agency, who last weekend offset a series of high-profile defections with the addition of Mitchell Gossett — the Agent to the Child Stars who brings along top client and recent teenagers-fucking firebrand Miley Cyrus. Nikki Finke had the news Saturday, reporting that Billy Ray Cyrus would be tagging along out of Gossett's former headquarters at Cunningham Escott Slevin Doherty, sort of a halfway house for transitioning young talent (and, evidently, their middling parents). Finke notes that it's anyone's guess how Miley's Vanity Fair bedsheet-rocking played into the deal, but the timing seems clear enough to us. More »
rants
Teenagers Fuck (And Other Lessons From The Miley Cyrus Debacle)
We're so confused. An extra day's digestion of the Miley Cyrus/Vanity Fair photo "scandal" hasn't cleared much up for us in the way of morals, betrayals, exploitations and career management of the young Hannah Montana star, but the public meltdown has alerted us to a more basic truth that is helping guide us through the fog of outrage. This isn't about Miley Cyrus without a shirt on or if she's been seen somewhere in her lingerie, or if her father dropped the ball.
It's simpler than any of that; this whole thing comes down to a picture of a 15-year-old looking like she just got the shit fucked out of her. And if there's anything America loves more than a war, it's teenagers fucking.
More »Investigating The Miley Cyrus 'Topless' Photo Scandal: Career-Ender Or Standard Starlet Move?
Vanity Fair has done it again. In their upcoming issue, famed photographer Annie Leibovitz shot a controversial photo spread featuring Billion Dollar Girl Miley Cyrus, prompting public outrage from the Christian Coalition, Disney and, naturally, the ladies of The View. Leibovitz and VF are being accused of crossing the line between art and pedophilia by shooting Cyrus in what some are calling "topless" photos (shown after the jump). Before the issue has even hit newsstands, Miley has apologized to her fans and Disney, concerned that the spread could affect the Hannah Montana cash cow. But this isn't the first time VF has hired one of their star photographers to use her lens in an effort to reinvent the images of underage starlets by featuring them in a slightly more provocative and mature light... More »
women on top
Directing Debut Of Miley Cyrus Brings Upstart Reese Witherspoon to Knees
In a fluky show of solidarity, an Oscar winner and an Oscar presenter/hopeful/soon-to-be-exile spent the week demonstrating the full spectrum of women's power behind the camera. First, Reese Witherspoon hit the press circuit for Penelope, the new indie featuring Christina Ricci as a girl cursed with a pig nose and co-star Witherspoon in her debut as a producer. Stepping up from the more nominal executive producing duties she adopted for Legally Blonde 2, Witherspoon oversaw everything from development to distribution for her Type A Films shingle:
The 31-year-old producer said the story of Penelope was perfect for a Type A personality because, among other reasons, it spoke to some big issues yet centered on a young woman.More »
Engulfed by automotive-safety-related controversy following a disturbing Consumer Reports exposé on their failure to wear seatbelts in a single scene in Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour, the Cyrus family was forced to apologize for giving millions of teens the false impression that Miley thinks it's totally hot to die in a car accident. It's totally not, says a regretful Billy Ray, so buckle up even if it's just a short minivan ride to your Hannah shows, rainbow parties, or whatever it is the kids are into these days: "We got caught up in the moment of filming, and we made a mistake and forgot to buckle our seatbelts. Seatbelt safety is extremely important." [People, Consumer Reports]
monday morning box office
Every Tween In America Turns Out For Hannah Montana's Big Screen Debut
As you and your loved one attempt to pry off the beer helmet that became glued to your head by a combination of sweat and Coors Light runoff, enjoy the weekend box office numbers:
1. Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour - $29 million
Not even Super Bowl weekend, normally a box office wasteland where studios dump product they hope will attract female moviegoers seeking refuge from the booze-lubricated football orgies taking place in their living rooms, was a match for the combination of Miley Cyrus and alter ego Hannah Montana, who, unsurprisingly, shattered™ the record for this frame with their 3-D enhanced, musical 'tween-bait.
ladylike behavior
Hannah Montana Tweens Set To, Like, Totally Go To The Movies This Weekend And Stuff
Yesterday, Fandango.com released a gushing statement to the press declaring that Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert had officially become their "best-selling concert film ever." Now, Var tells us this morning that the tweeny 3D release may be a biggie in more ways than just pre-sale ticket figures; some pundits are projecting that the concert movie could trump Jessica Alba's The Eye at the B.O. this weekend. The larger question, though? Have tweenybops become the new target demo for box office breakouts? Or will the potentially sold-out-everywhere Montana movie just turn out line upon line of horndogs recently captivated by those recently surfaced Miley Underwear pics? More »
mildly despoiled virgins
Miley Cyrus Defends Herself Against Shared-Licorice Lesbian Teen Romp Rumors
In a story that tidily summed up the Spirit of the Holidays™, a Texas girls' clothing chain offering four seats and a flight to see Miley Cyrus's solidly sold-out concert tour chose as the winner of its essay contest the six-year-old who began her entry, "My daddy died this year in Iraq." Trouble was, her daddy had never been to Iraq, and was alive and well living in the next town over. To listen to her mother, who orchestrated the entire thing, go on at length with a TV reporter about how she was never once told the "essay had to be true" and thus took offense at being labeled a liar, is to truly catch a chilling glimpse into the dark heart of a Hannah Montana concert-ticket-seeking parent's soul. But that would prove to be the lesser of two weekend controversies for the Disney Channel star:
More »