The attached-at-the-bony-hip couple first became friends in early 2006 after hanging out a few times in Hollywood, and after Lohan noticed Ronson's DJ skills, the two reportedly decided to produce and star in a film based on Ronson's life. As Ronson said at the time, "I think she's just a talented person. Whatever she stets out to do shes going to succeed at. If you told me tomorrow that she was going to build a city in the ocean, I'd be like, 'Just let me know when you're opening. I'll DJ the party!" Later that year, they were spotted at an Emmys after-party acting less lesbionic than well, friendly. But, of course, following her fun-filled and now legendary drool-drenched cokepants debacle in 2007, Ronson played candy striper (shudder) to her bestie. After a bit of rehab and fiance-stealing, Lindsay was said to be moving in with Sam last December, a rumor that apparently came true last month.

But as we've all noticed recently, their union has begun to resemble that lovely state of bliss known as a "relationship." The canoodling kind, of course. First, Lindsay wound up in tears after one of those standard fights couples have over absolutely nothing, and earlier this month Lindsay flipped her shit after seeing Ashley Olsen getting too close to Ronson at a bar. Followed by mystery hickies and joint vacations to Paris and Cannes, we're going ahead and doing the unthinkable: taking Michael Lohan's word without a grain of salt.

• MICHAEL LOHAN: LINDSAY, SAM'S ROMANCE 'EVIDENT TO ANYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN' [Us]

While his mop top was still intact, Law was linked to Miller, Natalie Portman and underwear model Susan Hoecke. But with no prospects recently, the British press see this dalliance with Stewart as his way of "slumming it." As for Kimberly, who's made a living dating other stars' leftovers like Calum Best and Cisco Adler, she hasn't done herself any favors by offering up her reputation to the feisty UK tabloids and their claws. On the plus side, Rod Stewart could finally have a prospective son-in-law; too bad they won't be able to trade hair tips.

[Photo credits: The Sun]

• RUDE JUDE WITH ROD'S GIRL [The Sun]

While Lively may not have the sort of fearsome fembot rack as Aniston, her tongue twister partner reminds us of a far less annoying, far cuter version of John Mayer 1.0: when Mayer first got noticed and had yet to unleash his bitchy blog posts and gain a rep for Master Starlet Dumper.

And judging by Penn's willingness to protect his baby's back with SPF and, to use that godawful teenybopper term, "cuddle," we actually feel optimistic about this particular couple's chances. No gay rumors thus far, and really, what are the odds either of these tall, not-so-tan, thin and lovely bodies will spot someone hotter and split?

[Photo credits: National Photo Group via People]

• EXCLUSIVE: BLAKE & PENN'S ROMANTIC GETAWAY [People]

Predictably, given previous claims from ex-sack partners that Lohan is some sort of kinky nympho, plus her history of sporting casts and cuts as fashion statements, it looks as though Ronson was bottom on the receiving end. Of course, Ronson could have either gotten the newly trendy vampire bruise from someone else, or maybe a Parisian woman swung a handbag at her assuming she was just another street-living hobo in those clothes. But Lohan does have a notably sharp pair of chompers, and what's the big deal about a little passionate neck nibble between friends?

[Photo credits: Splash]

• SAMANTHA RONSON HAS A HICKEY - FROM LINDSAY LOHAN?

In one of the most memorable comebacks in celebrity history, Demi and her new bikini body leaped onto the screen in the Charlie's Angels sequel, rousing a collective "Yowza!" heard and seen 'round the world (and, most likely, in Ashton Kutcher's drawers). And while Jennifer was definitely adorable throughout all her many "looks" on Friends, from The Rachel to The Bob, and even The Post-Divorce Weight Loss stage, we've never seen her look better than she does now. And thanks to an itty bitty pink bikini, showcasing Bond Girl tits (reminiscent of the fembots in Austin Powers), that tan, that hair, she's pulled off the same tactic perfectly. For the first time in our lives, we're actually thinking the previously unthinkable phrase, "What was Brad thinking?"

[Photo credits: X17, Splash]

• JENNIFER ANISTON IS BACK IN HER BIKINI AND BACK WITH JOHN MAYER [Egotastic]
• JENNIFER ANISTON GETS FRIENDLY IN THE POOL WITH HER TATTOOED NEW BEAU JOHN MAYER [Daily Mail]

We rarely like to take a mental walk down memory lane when it comes to the Most Nauseating Celebrity Hookups of all time, but news of the latest addition has unfortunately led us to revisit the grotesque list. We’ve already seen Liza Minelli and Phantom Of The Plastic Surgery Ward David Gest exchange saliva, Star Jones give Al an awkward lap dance and guiltily pleasured ourselves by witnessing wrinkly charmer Hugh Hefner and his thin lips attach themselves to the Girls Next Door. But after reading about one beach yoga-practicing, SUV-abandoning actor known for generally annoying everyone in Hollywood, and one scratchy-voiced “punk” rock chick known for generally hating everyone in Hollywood playing tongue twister in LA this past Tuesday, we may have a winner. The canoodlers in question, and just how far they went, after the jump:

Yes, sadly but truly, none other than the Pivster and recently divorced singer Pink (whose name makes absolutely no sense anymore considering she is currently Jet Black) were reportedly seen getting "hot and heavy on the dance floor" this week, according to the NY Post. As a source put it, they were "all over each other and dancing really close," which really gives an entirely new meaning to "Hug It Out, Bitch," no?

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage]

• DANCE PARTNERS [NYP]

Judging by Cameron's Uggs, Jason's visible pudge and Sofia's far-from-camera-ready sunscreen face, we have to doubt the possibility that this scene will make its way into the movie. Not to mention the pair's shocked glares upon realizing they'd been caught in the act. Plus, this is Cameron Diaz we're talking about. Since the trauma of splitting with Justin Timberlake, Cammy's been fond of flinging herself from fling to fling (most recently she's been linked to 300 star Gerard Butler). Whatever Diaz and Patric are doing, we're not nominating them for any "Hottest On-Set Hookup" lists any time soon.

[Photo credit: JFX]

• CAMERON CAUGHT KISSING [JFX]