Mike Darnell's Near-Perfect Batting Average Muffed By Passing On 'Big Brother: Muppet Edition'

Mike Darnell is the undisputed evil genius of reality TV, a fiendish Rumplestiltskin installed high atop a Fox tower, where he oversees day-to-day operations of that network's Dept. of Non-Scripted, Deluge-Summoning Entertainment. Ask anyone who has witnessed Darnell in action, and they'll describe how his mind never stops churning, processing the virtually limitless combinations of millionaires/ abandoned daughters/ homely women he can sequester on islands/ McMansions/ lie-detector-equipped soundstages, confident America will tune in to find out if they forget the lyrics/survive that reindeer attack/are dumber than a 5th grader. THR sat down with Darnell to find out what makes Satan's Primetime Minion tick:

Q: You're known for creating catchy titles. What do you look for?

Mike Darnell: Something simple that grabs you. In the best cases, the title itself is enough to drive you to view the show with no footage and no promo...Length doesn't matter — I used to get in arguments about that all the time. All that matters is that it says what it is. [...]

Blowin' In The End: Jason Castro's Craptastic 'Idol' Final-Stretch Performance

Seth MacFarlane Made The Same Amount As 'Iron Man' Over The Weekend

It was less than six months ago that Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane was picketing along with his fellow WGA members, saying of Fox's plans to air Guy episodes that had not yet been completed: "It would just be a colossal dick move if they did that." At the time, MacFarlane had the luxury of knowing his deal with the studio—two years in the making, and reportedly astronomical—had yet to be finalized, putting him "in breach of nothing" during the work stoppage. Well, the dotted-lines have at last been signed, the fences, apparently mended: 20th Century Fox TV will make MacFarlane the highest-paid writer/producer/gay-baby-voicer in television.

For Whom The SAG Strike Bell Tolls

Paula Abdul Succeeds In Lifelong Goal Of Traversing Space-Time Continuum

Lavish Network Upfronts Enter Historic New 'Nickel-and-Dime' Era

Ex-Fox TV Boss's Fight For Bonus Makes Us Hate Ourselves

Mike Darnell Attempts To Make Amends For 'Moment' By Busting Deadbeat Dads

Your 'Idol' Minute: Seacrest, All Alone On The Pavement

D-Listers To Fly Through The Air With The Greatest Of Difficulty

· Here's what we can tell you about NBC's Celebrity Circus, possibly the most significant televised amateur circus event in recent history: Joey Fatone will be ringmaster. Scheduled to appear: Christopher Knight, Rachel Hunter, Antonio Sabato Jr., Blu Cantrell, and Jason "Wee Man" Acuna, whom we'll assume will be fired at some point from the Lil' Caesar's Cannon of Doom™. [Variety]
· Fox is sitting atop the big studio heap entering into the summer box office season (OMG! It's almost the summer box office season! Who's excited?!), but Warner Bros., with its one-two-three punch of Speed Racer, Get Smart, and The Dark Knight should comfortably take the lead. (Especially when you look at Fox's roster: Eddie Murphy's Dave and The X-Files: I'm Trying As Hard As I Can To Buy This Alien Mumbo-Jumbo, Mulder.) [THR]

'American Idol' Still Nation's Leader In Production Of Country-Fair-Caliber Entertainers

As we find ourselves winding once again towards the end of another stunning American Idol season—the very fate of the adult-contemporary-radio universe hinging on the name read out by host Ryan Seacrest in the final seconds of its lean, seven-hour finale broadcast—we take a moment to catch up with the some of the also-rans from Idol past. Remember Chris Sligh, Season 6's Guarini-fro'd, Caucasian soul singer? According to Craigslist's Nashville chapter, Sligh will be headlining Thursdays Acoustics for Academics fundraiser at East Cheatham Elementary School in Joelton, TN!

Sadistic 'Idol' Elimination Techniques Fail To Break Spirit Of Littlest Karaoke Soldier David Archuleta

Arousing Mariah Carey Cover Elicits Standing O From 'Idol' Judge Randy Jackson's Pants

Behold! 'The Moment Of Truth!' Destroyer Of Lives!

Hey, FCC: Fox Has Your $91,000 Right Here

· Atta boy, Fox! The network flatly refuses to pay an FCC fine of $91,000 for Married by America (is that the one with the midgets? Or the fake prince?), for the 2003 reality show's depiction of "contestants licking whipped cream off strippers." Fellow networks stand in quiet solidarity, with Ben Silverman observing that "the fine sets a dangerous precedent, not to mention potentially ruining our sweeps week My Dad is Better Than Your Dad father-daughter whipped-cream surprise!" [Variety]
· Smashing Pumpkins sue Virgin Records for cheapening their name by using their music and likeness in a crass Pepsi Stuff promotion. Billy Corgan also wants everyone to check out "1979," and "Tonight, Tonight," both to appear on Guitar Hero IV! It'll be Smashsational! [Variety]
· In a reverse-engineered comic-book-movie-making miracle, Hugh Jackman teams with Virgin Comics to create Nowhere Man, a new comic specifically designed to then be adapted for Jackman to star in on the big screen, and featuring the first superhero to harness the power of showtunes to defeat evil. [Variety]

'The Moment Of Truth' Inching Closer To Delivering On Its Life-Destroying Promise

Carolyn Strauss Calved At HBO

· HBO shakes things up in their original series development department, moving longtime president Carolyn Strauss into a new, not-quite-fired-but-let's- see-what-some-new-blood- can-do-about- never-letting- John From Cincinnati -happen-again position. [Variety]
· Hollywood StrikeWatch 2: The Bickering. SAG and AFTRA can't seem to decide whether basic cable should be included in the upcoming actors negotiation, leading to a flurry of strongly worded letters and "near-constant sniping" between the two unions, who'll ultimately air out their differences in a choreographed rumble in the Farmers Market parking lot, set to the music of Leonard Bernstein. [Variety]
· Marvel Studios has sold the exclusive broadcast rights to FX for a package of five of their movies, including the upcoming Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, along with three more, yet-to-be-determined titles. (We're pulling for a She-Hulk Vs. She-Thing, starring Rachel Bilson and Mischa Barton.) [Variety]

Defamer Immortalized In Cartoon-Form By 'The Simpsons!' Sort Of! OK, Not At All!

We're loath to admit we've fallen behind on new episodes of The Simpsons, so we're extremely grateful to the reader who pointed the following out to us: On Sunday's show, after a fairly hilarious sequence in which Homer engages in an illicit affair with a gyro cone (which, for $4300, could basically give you all the unsafe satisfaction you could handle), the portly paterfamilias then puts a happy ending on his marathon session of rotisserie lovemaking with a trip to Pudding on the Ritz. His order? "One Butterscotch Stallion."